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Loser 3d
You can find me waltzing at an ungodly hour under a blood red sky
with tears upon my pain stricken face and terror in my eyes.

You can tell me to stop, tell me how I’m hurting myself,
and still I will pick at the same seams until I find comfort in pain

You can hear me singing “So don’t let me cave in” in a basement at a party,
and know that if I do, it’s not your fault.

You can talk to me and I will listen.
And here. In this moment. In this interaction, I will smile. I will lie.
I will say that everything is fine.

But what makes you stand out is that you never believe me.
You have no idea how much I need that.
please don’t stop. when I say i’m fine i almost never am. keep asking. keep smiling . it keeps me safe.
Loser 7d
Staring at the walls in my bleak and empty room,
hoping I'll lose my pessimism soon
I'm playing records on repeat
and never catching up on sleep,
and I'm over it. I'm over you

I cross my fingers when I smile and tell you that I'm doing fine
and I'm not trying to hurt you. It's just a hopeless ******* lie.
I'm writing letters to myself,
I'm writing letters to you,
and I think I'm starting to get better.

I saw you in my thoughts today,
from a world away,
and when you passed me by,
you couldn't look me in the eye.

I kept your picture in my pocket, so close yet out of sight,
and now you've left me here in pieces, I swear that I'm all right,
And the promise that you made me when we jumped into the lake,
I hope we'll get there some day.

Your friends become acquaintances,
and then they just pass by,
so lets face the new with courage,
and let the old ways die.
I wrote this a while ago. its cheesy and kinda emo. idk.
Jaxey Apr 1
i am sorry
that when you broke
i didn't help you back together
but started checking your pieces
to see if any of them could serve
to fill my missing ones
im okay
Loser Mar 27
They always ask.
You always ask.
I know that you're there.
I know that you will always be there.
It's just that sometimes It's easier to say that I'm fine,
rather than telling you the truth.
How I feel as though my friends are strangers,
how all the songs I write don't make things better,
how you are in my reach yet I can't grasp you,
how I'm really not fine.
I wrote this forever ago. Finally got the guts to post it
Emma Q Mar 21
"I'm fine.
Really, I am."
Really?
Loser Mar 19
I'm sick of these ******* enigmas.
Speaking in tongues and whispers and acting like I'm the nothing.
So I sit. And I stare. And walls never felt so comforting.
And if you focus, really concentrate, your vision closes in, and you can almost turn off the laughs. Until someone shatters the focus with an "are you okay?"

"Am I okay?...Of course I'm ******* okay..."

And it's true.
Honestly.
It took time, but once I got past the fact that all of my friends wear masks around me I decided to wear one too.
idk
MaiMai Mar 14
Ember burning bright.
Born for destruction or born for light?

Can someone hate their creation?  Because I'm afraid of my own design. What I may be capable of. In a snap of a finger my ember can spark destroying what is and was.
"You're loved" is what you say but you can't get it though your brain. I'm impotent to my strength.

You don't want to look at me, don't look at me. You run away from me, run away from me. I am aware of my aftermath toxic smoke so it's ok. I know I cause nothing but heartache.

Beware because I've been known to ruin lives.
Use caution, I might spark into a raging fire
Be careful if you make me to happy I might burn you alive. Causing spiritual death leaving people shattered, trying to pick pieces, due to me forgetting about my hazard.

The word gentle isn't in my mental vocabulary. My touch, my touch is dangerous. It's warm at first, almost comforting in the beginning but the longer you hold me the more I singe. I don't want to cause you sanity. So stay away, far from my ember, in fear your oxygen will ignite this fire.

Embers burning bright
Born for destruction or born for light?
look at me in the eye then you decide.
Charlie Rose Mar 7
“Are you okay?”
Everyone asks me the same question.
Do I look like Im not okay?
I know my eyes are rounded with pink and purple from not sleeping for days
I know I look like im dead but does that not make me okay?
I know i'm not but why did you ask?
Why do you want to know if I am?
Do you just want to feel like your helping or do you want to get close enough to know my secrets and paint them on a wall for everyone to see.
The truth gets stuck on my tongue and a lie erupts from my throat.
“Im Fine.”
Avoiding eye contact I scratch my face trying to pry the mask off.
This mask is the only thing that protects me.
I want to take it off at times but who knows what would happen.
It's so much easier to mask my feelings.
If I let them out of my jar then the colors will explode out in the open.
The glass will shatter and make it a dangerous playground for others.
I much rather be alone when this happens.
So no one else can get cut by the sharp clean Ragged edges.
I hide the truth cause it is so easy to.
No one tries to pry it out so I hide away with it.
When I get up in the morning,
I’ll see you.
...
All we ever do is pull apart.
But I’d love to see this through,
Cause Darling you’re more special than you know.
More bright than you’ll ever conceive,
Kinder than  soft words,
Softer than my mother’s silk pillows.

I miss you.
0~0
Haylin Nov 2018
Can't you tell when I
say "I"m fine" of
how much pain and sadness
there is in my eyes?
When you ask me how I am.
I almost start to cry, but I just manage
to tell you such an easy lie.
And then I go home, wanting to die,
you still think I'm fine because you
didn't catch that horrible lie.
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