Just rot me I know im the only one who got me I am the only one who can stop me Do i want to am i even worth it ? I never said i was perfect Im just trying to keep it working. But its flopin This type of feeling rarely arise's but when it does man does it got me Thinking bad things someone stop it My mind just keeps thinking no stopping Its not working i want off this bad train called my brain. Till im nothing but a stain in your mind. Till the only time i pop in your mind is a once upon a time. But trust im fine...oh No im fine
"I'm fine," I smile. dyeing a little as I say those words, "I'm sorry did that hurt?" No I'm fine. "Are you okay if I leave you alone?" yes, don't worry about me, "I'm fine." It may seem that I am lying to others, but I'm really only lying to myself, trying to deceive my brain, my heart, my soul, that there's is no pain.
i thought i was getting better but the happiness that i once had it's slowly withering away i cry when nobody's watching silent tears slip down my cheeks no one stops to ask if i'm fine when sadness fills my eyes to answer the unasked question yes i'm fine
i've been crying a lot lately... i guess i'm just missing people
I ask you if you are okay I can see the pain You hide in your eyes But all you say is "I'm fine" But the truth is I know you are not fine Why can't you tell me What is wrong I can't stand watching you hurt And feeling helpless because I can't ******* help you And stop trying to push me away I want to be able to help you But if you keep lying Then I can't help you So let's try this again Are you okay?
It's okay to cry alone For some reasons why It's okay to smile You don't need to tell why It's okay to miss someone Because to miss someone Doesn't happen once It happens over and over It's okay if it happens again.
Depression hides itself in blankets It hides in cups of coffee that are seen as “pick me ups” It hides in between our sweatpants and in between our clothing that gives us a kick of confidence It hides in our cigarettes that we deem a social act It hides in between our smiles and our happy voices over the phone. Or a big enthusiastic wave to someone you haven’t spoken to in while but you can’t chat too long, you’re late for class
It hides in the “how are you” It hides in our Instagram stories It hides when they ask “really how are you” and all you can think of telling them is that you’ve progressed and grown and you’re in a much better place because it looks and seems like it and surely you couldn’t be going through the same thing for so long because its been years or months or weeks or days. It hides when you tell them you’re finally happy, you finally know yourself
Depression comes out in early hours of the morning. When you’ve gone through every app on your phone and realized you’ve seen it all already It comes out when you are trying to fall asleep It comes out when you have thoughts you feel you shouldn’t have It comes out when you miss them It comes out when you don’t know why you’re sitting on your bed and you would actually prefer silence and not to move. But that confirms it. It comes out when there is no one left to call.
When I say it hides, it really hides away from us and its euphoric and feels like growth when it hides. But when it finds you it finds the softest and most vulnerable parts and it steals you back. Till it puts itself back on the shelf. For another late night, for another early morning, where no one can say, catch you when I can.
I hope someone resonates :) its weird for me to share this one but its nice to get it out of my black mirror