As light begins to fade
Darkness
Emptiness
It all takes shape

The winds begin to change
So much colder now
Sinking deeper now

Look out below

The seasons start to change
It goes faster now
Stranger now

My dear nothing is the same
Just close your eyes
Say goodbye

Look out below

It goes faster
And harder
And deeper now

And its darker
And colder
And wicked out

But you are stronger
And braver
And better now

My dear you know
you'll get out

As darkness begins to fade
Light shines on a brand new day

The world begins to change
So much brighter now
There is beauty now

Look up now
Stand up now
You're free now

I remember the emptiness in your eyes
Waiting for you to die
You never knew I turned out just like you
What a sick twisted game it is
I remember speaking to you softly
Watching you struggle to eat
And I remember telling you
"It's me, your grand-daughter"
Only for you to just stare in my face
I remember hours of cards in the waiting room
And the very last time I saw you
Tied to a bed
Lost in a dream you would never escape from
Fighting so hard
Ultimately to only give up

In my dream i'm in his arms
In that same black dress
Barefoot in the soft grass
And we dance
We dance to the sound of the night
The soft crickets and the water's waves
And the steady beat of two hearts as one
And I'm lost in it all
Lost in your eyes and your voice
Lost in that soft black dress
Lost in the darkness of the night

Somehow I've found a way to get lost in you
And I may not have noticed it right away
But that's How I feel now without you
Lost
And I feel stupid for never realizing
Just how much of me included you
And I wish now more than ever that I could just hold you
And take away all the pain
Because I would give it all to not loose you

Which is more powerful love or hate?
Sounds tricky doesn't it?
With no answer as straight,
And no side easy to commit.

Love is powerful no doubt.
Makes your heart flutter,
Leaves you dancing about.
However love also leave your mind full of clutter.

Yet hate is so strong.
It demands respect,
Can power you along.
You just cant let it run out of check.

But maybe love and hate are on a coin, just two sides.
Both so passionate and raw, yet its us it divides.

Hold me close
Like I mean the most
And whisper a broken lullaby.

With shards of glass
And cigarette ash
And a pain I've grown to call home.

Let me sleep under the moon
And hope help is coming soon
And forget all that I know.

And i'll try to cry
But dry my eyes
And let it come to an end.

Because love is pain
And there's nothing to gain
From a house that's not a home.

So brush my hair
And pretend to care
And let me fade away.

Because i'm sick and *****
And tired of hurting
So please let me fall asleep.

And once i'm gone
You'll have to move on
I'll see you another day.

I am but a rat in a maze
Round and round I go
Through corners and dead ends
Trying to find my way back to you
And it's not easy
But it's worth it
I just hope you'll be waiting with open arms
When I arrive
If I arrive

Your words are lingering in my mind
And I can't help but wonder if you're right
If you're not meant to be mine
Because I've been wrong before
And I see the way you look at her
And i'm stranded in this island in my mind
No ship of hope in sight
Because I thought just maybe paradise would last forever
But I am now forced to recognize it
An inevitable storm on the distance
And it might just tear us apart
but if it doesn't well stand strong together
Because then you were meant to be mine

The memories of you are fleeting
They rush through my mind like a morning wind
I can barley get a hold of them before they're gone again
And it's not that I miss you
I'ts not like I wish things were different
I'm just replaying the moments like old songs
And imaging that you're here to dance along

Men are like the wind.
They are wild.
And go wherever their heart takes them.
They can carry the sweetness of a summer breeze,
Or the rage of a fire storm.

You always are there for me
You care
And you love me

But i'm always a disaster
A mess
And a monster

And I don't know if I can let myself lead you on any longer

His eyes were like Labrodite
Beautiful in their own way
Cracks full of color
The only thing holding darkness at bay

His eyes were like Beryllium
The brightest blue I'd ever seen
Like blue skies on the horizon of tomorrow
The day leading you away from me

His eyes are like Sodalite
They come from both the darkness and the light
They are a muddled beautiful blue
The are unique just like you

Watching and waiting
A safe passage through
Never ending
The torment of you
I'm on my way, i'll beat the dark
Your days of being alone end tonight

If the stars in the sky would lend me a heart
You would not know the meaning of the word apart
Though the twinkle may fade It all is the same
My morningstar deep in the night
Though far away now
I will reach you tonight
Though the twinkle may fade It all is the same
You're the light in a world of dark

I know it hurts
It hurts me too
But keep your chin up, you'll pull through
Mountains will fall and oceans will rise
I promise you morningstar
You won't be alone tonight

If the stars in the sky would lend me a heart
You would not know the meaning of the word apart
Though the twinkle may fade It all is the same
My morningstar deep in the night
Though far away now
I will reach you tonight
Though the twinkle may fade It all is the same
You're the light in a world of dark

I promise you morning star there's no need to fear
I'll keep you safe now dry your tears
I’ll be right here, all through the night
Shine on now, brighter than bright
I love your shine, your sparkle, your glow
You can forget what it was like being alone
Though the mountains did fall, and the oceans did rise
I am here with you tonight

I watched and I waited
The safe passage through
**** all the torment of being away from you
We're stronger together
We can face the dark

The stars in the sky lent me a heart
Forget that blasted word apart
Though the twinkle may fade it all is the same
My morningstar deep in the night
I’m with you now
Now and every night
Though the twinkle may fade it all is the same
You're my light in a world of dark

I thank the stars for my heart
Finally together, as it should have from the start
Your light is brilliant just like you
Even if you're a morningstar deep in the night
You light up my world
Well worth the fight
Never let anyone put out your shine
You make life worth it even in a world of dark

I hear the music, your voice, and your heart
I know i'm safe even when we're apart
I love every smile, every kiss, every touch
You make me into something I could only dream of being
Some kind of dazzling creature
But it's deceiving
I fear you have fooled yourself along with me
Hoping for something that cannot yet be
And I blindly fall for it
I hope and I pray there there is a way
To strip my dreams of their fictional title
I am so afraid to overstep you
To scare you away, to ultimately lose
I’ve never known anything quite this good
I don’t want it to end, though it could

And suddenly one day i’m no longer dazzling
I'm simply plain and weak and blind
I’m afraid, and I don't know what to do
I’ve never had anyone like me so long
Though my invincibility will soon be gone
I panic and stumble and try really hard
But you're getting farther and farther away
I miss your kisses, and all of your love
I miss being special and something worth love

I feel so broke now
So unsure and afraid
I don't know what I did to ruin it all

This pain that is growing inside me
It feels like something to come
Something bad and something terrible
So I ask myself would it even be worth it
Would I even be able to do it
My heart says yes but my body says no
And maybe other girls can dream of a husband
They can dream of a family
But in my dreams all I see is an empty house
And a big tree
I suppose maybe that's all life has for me

You are so small
Your eyes are so blue
And your heart is so big

I could hold you forever
You are the most wonderful little thing

The difference between my reality and yours is that
Yours is real
Mine is just mostly real

You see things as they are
As they should be
But my reality has an extra layer to it
Like taking regular ice cream and adding sprinkles
Sprinkles of imagination on a regular world

Reality is I'm sick

I can see it now
The crowd a mix of strangers and friends
The stark white or rather the crisp lacy soft white all around me
The loud talking among such soft sweet music
The touch of your skin on mine each time our hands meet
The soft click of heels on the floor
The warm look in your eyes as they met mine
The contrast of the petals against the ground
The tenderness in your voice
The love in the air

What more can I say
It's a violent kind of pain
The kind that never ends
And I have no one to blame but myself
Always pushing just a little farther
A little deeper
with dainty cuts
And horrid slashes
Blood was like water
And I was a river
Always flowing
Never ending
And we were one
The bleeding was me
And I was always bleeding

Slash in he morning to calm my nerves
Slash at night to put me to rest
Glass in my mouth while I sat in class
And every time it was to much the gentle push of my tongue
Feeling the roof of my mouth split
And the cold taste of blood

I miss the soft kiss of pain with every wound
And I miss feeling relaxed wile life poured from my wrists
I miss the pain and the misery

But it brought me no relief
Just a constant hunger for more
So today I fast from the pain
As I will tomorrow and the next day
And maybe one day
My wrists won't hurt anymore

She thrashes violently
She can't awake
Can't get away
So she fights like her life depends on it
Maybe she's squirming under the weigh of an invisible monster
Or another dream filled with death
No matter the subject
I hold her in place
Cradle her to stop the movement
I call her name over and over
Until she joins the world again

If you were to ask if I missed you
I am supposed to say no
Supposed to say I've moved on and far away
Supposed to put on a smile and walk away
But the truth is I do miss you
I miss never feeling alone
I miss how you understood what I was feeling
I miss the awful jokes
And the long days
And you weren't perfect
I know that now
But you were there when I needed you
You gave me my life back

You were the heavens and I the Earth
You were cast up in the stars
And I in the dirt
You were much like an angel and I like a beast
Yet I can still remember when you reached your hand down to me
Were different that is easy to see
But somehow it worked in harmony
And as I stare up into the sky
You look like a shooting star passing by