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Swallow my tears,
And swallow my pride,
While this darkness Swallows me up inside.
I kind of wish you had never said it.
So a funny thing happened
I had *** with a boy
Sounds common enough right
Except this boy wasn't my boyfriend
I'll give you a moment to let that sink in

Really I've heard it all
But won't you please listen
Because every story has two sides

I was drunk
Off my *** really
And what had started as a fun night was coming to and end
Walked with my friend up from the shore
And walked him to his car
Except he was farther off his *** than I
I stole his keys and hid them in my purse
Because I wasn't going to let him drive home
**** himself and the girl in his backseat
So we went into the house
Down into the basement with all the other children
And we shared a mattress on the floor
Just like everyone else
And one by one we began to pass out
Until it was just me and him

I wasn't afraid
I had grown up along side him
I knew all his secrets
And he knew mine
So we talked, and we talked and I don't remember when it changed
When the wheels began to turn
When I lost my shorts
I don't remember when his hands landed on my body
And my memory begins to fade
And I know my heart began to race
And my body became aware of every single movement all at once
And I think I was a tease
I think I was too much
And before I knew it he was on me
Fumbling around and I told him just a little please and
I told him no ***
And then it happened
I'll be the first to admit I don't know what I said to be exact
I don't think I said I changed my mind though
And I know I didn't say no
But it's hard to say anything when you can barley breathe
And then I just shut down
Body did the hard reset and I just blacked out
I know I momentarily woke up when you crawled off of me sobbing
A moment of haze before I was back into darkness

And I woke up and he was gone
And I as alone
I made the call to my boyfriend
A man I loved more than anything
I panicked
I told him I cheated on him
That I was sorry and that it was a mistake
And he accepted it, but he didn't accept me
I was a disgrace
Still am

But yes I had *** with a man
But it wasn't *** like you would know it
It was *** spelled with four letters
So call me what you will
But you can never hate me as much as I hate myself so don't even try
With that being said goodnight and goodbye
You know how some people come to terms with incidents in their life, if I so much as ever catch a glance of that man again I'll end him. He took everything away from me.
*** clipped his wings
He cast him out
Now he lies on broken ground
He's turned from faith
Found shelter in the dark
But still within lies a spark
The tiny flame of hope
Buried between all the hate and the pain
He has grown to call home
But maybe someday
He will find the way
Back to heaven
"I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel" - Frankenstein's Monster
His eyes were like Labrodite
Beautiful in their own way
Cracks full of color
The only thing holding darkness at bay

His eyes were like Beryllium
The brightest blue I'd ever seen
Like blue skies on the horizon of tomorrow
The day leading you away from me

His eyes are like Sodalite
They come from both the darkness and the light
They are a muddled beautiful blue
The are unique just like you
I have bad habit of comparing people's eye color to rocks.
Well what can I say
I'm not her
I don't have her warm eyes
Her thin waist
Her cute laugh
Her smart brain
I'm not perfect like her
I'm not even close
I lack her sense of peace
And her immense love
I don't dream like her
See like her
I will never be like her
What more can I say
I'll never be beautiful or perfect
Never see clear or pure
I've ruined my chances of happiness in this world
And how can I blame you
She dances in the light
And I dwell here in darkness out of sight
She is all that is good and right in this world
And I'm all you should fear
So go ahead
Get out of here
I suppose I'm just frustrated. But can you really blame me, I'm the daughter of a monster and nothing can erase that path I've followed. So no I'll never be anything quite like her.
Your words are lingering in my mind
And I can't help but wonder if you're right
If you're not meant to be mine
Because I've been wrong before
And I see the way you look at her
And i'm stranded in this island in my mind
No ship of hope in sight
Because I thought just maybe paradise would last forever
But I am now forced to recognize it
An inevitable storm on the distance
And it might just tear us apart
but if it doesn't well stand strong together
Because then you were meant to be mine
Doubts are never really fun are they.
Some people get to be pretty
And some get to be smart
I don't get to be either
So I have to fight with my whole heart

To some thinking comes easy
It's what their brain is meant to do
My brain is rather ******
Even the simplest concepts seem new

Some people are dashing
Their looks speak beyond words
My looks wouldn't win first second
Not even third

Nothing has been easy
And that makes me tough
Cause I'm one **** of a woman
And all that fun stuff
Nothing has been easy, but that just makes it all the sweeter that I'm here.
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