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639 · Mar 2014
But I Could Do It
D Mar 2014
I don't think I'd ever do it
But lately, with you, I might
Which is a lot more than ever before,
When I still thought it wasn't right..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But right now, I kind of want to let it in
Feel the pressure of something else,
Something not you, pressing against my skin..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But the opportunity to do so is in my reach
It's a just step to the right, an open drawer away
To finally find some release..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But lately, with you, I might
I've thought about doing it before too,
Maybe just once or twice..



I don't believe I'd ever do it
Because I don't want you to know
I can't let you see this side of my mind
*The one I'm too afraid to show..
This could be taken in two ways it seems..
634 · Sep 2019
starlit soul
D Sep 2019
i've never met you and yet
i know that your soul is made of starlight
and at night i glimpse your rays arching through the skies
searching, ever searching for the warmth of another starlit soul
with which to collide

it hurts to watch it unfold
your shine instead collides with rock and darkness
siphoning parts of you away and yet still you light up the world
giving, always giving every inch of your being until your starlight fades to grey
for a friend light years away, you are beautiful all on your own, and everyone who meets you and doesnt immediately see your light and worth are crazy to live in darkness - i love you dearly, and i pray that one day your soul will find its matching star to collide with, making the most beautiful display of light and color the worlds ever seen
631 · Sep 2014
The Monstrosity Is Me
D Sep 2014
For myself, I cannot speak
Only its words seep through clenched teeth
I can feel it,
Crawling its way towards my lungs
Choking me from within
I'm left screaming in the darkness
And this demon does not listen
Alone; caged in my own mind
Forced to watch
As it slowly destroys my life
Separating my corporal form
From the only world I've ever known,
"It's easier this way,
to make your body my new home"
I've become a vessel for the devil
While my soul sits, tormented day and night
There will be no rescue mission,
All hope is lost to me
**I have become the monstrosity
#yo
630 · May 2017
not her secrets
D May 2017
she
could not
keep a secret,
though she promised
that she'd try;
her heart
could never handle
keeping it
inside.
627 · Sep 2015
Each other
D Sep 2015
Is it so wrong to want to kiss you
While other people may be watching?
Lets not care for the stares
And just get lost in each other

Nothing complicated
Simplicity is key
Know, I love you
Known, you love me
2 years <3
622 · Aug 2015
A Painting
D Aug 2015
The sun sets red as ashes rain down
Debris left over from a forgotten city
So barren nothing grows from the ground
The fire layed waste to all things pretty
Saw a painting, got inspired lol
622 · Apr 2014
What Is Death?
D Apr 2014
What is it to look through eyes
That do not see, cannot perceive?
To listen to soft melodies and symphonies
With ears that do not hear?
What of it to kiss cold, cracked lips
That can no longer feel warmth?
How can one describe the sweet nectar
Of love with a tongue that
Has long forgotten the art of taste?
Why is it fleeting, the scent of pine tree and spices,
Leaving behind only the smell of rot and decay
To penetrate through eternity?

What is death?
Is it nothing more than a poets plaything?
I've never experienced death, not first hand
And so all the encounters I've come to draw on now
Are ones of fantasy and story-tellings,
So I humbly ask for an honest answer, If I may

What is death?
*And will I be ready?
620 · Sep 2015
New world order
D Sep 2015
With the red moon rising
People are dying
Symbolizing
The birth of a new world
take it your way
619 · Oct 2018
old fashioned
D Oct 2018
I once knew this boy
who would walk miles and miles
just to understand
the reason she'd smile.

She thought long and hard
about being his girl,
but decided that he
just wasn't made for her world.
619 · Jun 2016
Love is a Weakness
D Jun 2016
It's true you've never gone this far before
But this isn't exactly new
I want to trust you again but
That's easy to say and harder to do
For nearly three years I put up with petty flirting
An uphill battle, a tiring journey
I got lulled into a false security
Believing you to never really hurt me

But you did.

Where do we go from here?
I'm trying to figure it out but through all these years,
I've never had to forgive you for something this huge
Something I'm not even done hurting over -
I don't know what to do.
I'm scared, so scared this wont be the last,
And if I'm to go on the past,
Then it'll be no time before you're back.

You said the easy thing to do is to forgive you,
that love makes us weak.
Then why is this so ******* hard?
Why is love the only thing keeping me on my feet?
I think, your love is weak and you don't know who I am.
No more putting up with your stupid fans.
No more flirting or hugging or studio dates.
One more and we're done
I'm not accepting any more mistakes.

I'm so tired.
Jumble of thoughts.
How do I begin to truly trust him?
How long will it take to truly forgive him?
How far will he go to change his ways?
Will he change at all?
615 · Oct 2019
shoreline
D Oct 2019
his oceans are calling me home,
the green grasses no longer it for me

a stranger in a land unknown,
the blue waters are where i was meant to be
does it make sense that he is both the land and the sea?

(wanted to post this one for dayss, so glad hp is back online! i missed reading everyones poems:)
615 · Jun 2016
On The Surface
D Jun 2016
I want the people close to me,
to read my poetry,
and tell me honestly,
what they think.

I want the people close to me,
to read my poetry,
and truly,
understand how I think.

I want the people who I want to know me,
to read my poetry,
or else they'll only,
be as close as they think.
I was going to make this a facebook post
But then it got poetic and I couldn't do it anymore

You see my point now, right?
612 · Sep 2014
Ever Constant Gloom
D Sep 2014
I'm sorry* I'm no fun to be around,
I just don't know where else to go,
Who else to bother with my company.
I love you, I do,
So please don't get fed up with me.
If you ever realized you were sick
Of my ever constant gloom,
That would be it, my last straw.
The illusion that life has meaning
Would shatter without you,
And I'm bound to cut myself
On the broken pieces
That should have been my heart.
#js
610 · Mar 2017
Cold Hot Love
D Mar 2017
as long as the flames of passion burn on,
the walls of ice will melt
though once the ice is melted,
the flames will go out
it's a cold hot love -- one felt in the heart
it'll pull and tear at you until it rips you apart
a great poet once said, through fire or ice?
I ask for it all, for now, while it's still nice
x
610 · Jul 2018
saturday
D Jul 2018
the girl was impatient so she opened her drawer;
pulled out her old razor to bust the **** on the floor.
I skipped lunch
609 · Oct 2015
Take back the night
D Oct 2015
Stand tall and unafraid
As we take back the night
Do not fear the darkness
For it's only lacking light
Let your light shine through you
And guide you through the terror
These men do not rule the world
Just because they see us as fairer
We are mighty and as one
We will overcome
Together, we'll set a blaze so bright
Together, we'll take back the night
for all the women who don't feel safe walking the streets on their own. WE SHOULD'NT HAVE TO BE AFRAID! STAND TOGETHER AND TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!
609 · Sep 2014
Don't Believe I'm Okay
D Sep 2014
Why are people so accepting of the smile
After all the tears they just saw be shed?
It's exhausting playing the happy, smiling girl
When all the while, inside I'm dead
Why don't they notice my tired eyes,
Or the way my legs always seem to shake?
I'm sick of pretending that I'm perfectly fine
For everyone elses sake
Because no one really wants to believe someone close to them feels pain, so they take whatever signs of normality and happiness theyre given, and ignore the truth. I dont blame those people, I just wish when I say im okay I could mean it someday..
604 · Oct 2015
Learning
D Oct 2015
The more I learn,
the more I see religion as a man-made idea
to make us feel that we are some how special
compared to all the other life on earth.
I think I'm scared to accept this
because without my fear of the afterlife,
what else is really keeping my spirit
tethered to this world?
Love?
My need to not present myself
as a burden to others?
i d k . . .
599 · Jul 2016
Drowning
D Jul 2016
-

I'm drowning
in the waves
you caused,
to pull me
from my shores
and drag me out
to you.
I don't even want to learn
how to swim
597 · Sep 2017
c/and/h
D Sep 2017
and when its just us
we let the minutes go by
carefree and happy
594 · Jul 2015
Kiss Me
D Jul 2015
Kiss me deeply, make me forget how it feels to be angry
Kiss me slowly, make me remember how it feels to not be lonely
Kiss me with meaning, remind me why my hearts still beating
Kiss me with feeling, show me how much you really need me
D Jun 2016
The kind you have to fight to heal from everyday,
while faced with the one who brought the pain..
Yup.
592 · Sep 2015
Always A Tragedy
D Sep 2015
I can never write poetry when I'm happy
what does that say about my personality?
why do words evade me when I long to share
my feelings of positivity?
I don't want to only be known for my works
on tragedy
I am not always sad and lonely
I smile and laugh
and enjoy what life gives me
and yet I can never convert that joy into poetry
here I am, destined it seems, to always be a tragedy
tragically, this is also another poem about unhappiness
590 · Nov 2016
I Choose to Live
D Nov 2016
-


when you wake up
feeling like a disappointment
only to end it in relief and excitement
when everything you thought could go wrong,
doesn't, and it all works itself out in the end

those are the days that remind me why
I choose to live
it's the little things
you have to look out for
to make your life worth living
-
588 · Nov 2014
Break up ballet
D Nov 2014
There's something crucial missing
Something deep within my chest
I've been hollow and empty and broken
Ever since you ripped my heart from between my *******
I didn't see it coming
Though I should have seen the signs
I was blinded by my own hopes and dreams
Too naive; tossed to the side
I was a fool to believe you loved me
You're a lesson I wish I didn't have to learn
But control has long slipped through my fingers
I only wished it might have lasted longer -- Pretending was much easier than facing this cruel world
586 · Apr 2017
Storms In June
D Apr 2017
Through pouring rain
And winds that howl
She begs of him to, sit a while
The two lay back, relaxing in tune
Feeling the chill in the air
of the crisp early June
That's the life, she whispers
He can see goosebumps,
rising on her chest
His own heart quickens
As her hand slips into his
It's wet -- but what isn't?
It's warm, an unexpected blessing
She feels nothing, save for him
He feels cold, but it's worth it
585 · May 2016
Guilty
D May 2016
I miss you.
Why do I feel guilty to say that?
Why does it feel wrong?
What's going on?

I miss you.
You, who I've made the center of my life.
I miss you
You, who will grow to hate me in time.

Afraid to live.
Afraid to die.
All I'm sure of is I miss you.
I'm sorry.

I miss you.
"Being lazy is disrespectful to those who believe in you"
I'm sorry.
I miss you.
584 · Jul 2018
broke
D Jul 2018
You fell in love with a girl and I'm wearing her skin
On the surface composed and inside broken
I have two souls and they hate each other
582 · May 2016
Endless
D May 2016
I want to spend my days
writing about you

how you make me feel
like no other could
how angry you make me
and how safe I feel with you

all the little things and big things
that make you who you are

I could write about you for years
and still have more to say

but I wont do it today
581 · Feb 2014
Big bad wolf
D Feb 2014
"I'll huff and puff and I'll blow this house down!"*

Go ahead, it's just a house
A structure of cement and bricks
It's not like I can't find another
Or make one from mud and sticks

Go ahead, it's just a house
It's not special to me
It's not like this house was my home
I hid that in a place that you cannot reach

So go ahead,
Huff and puff until your head explodes
Because that is just a house
And not my home
My home lies only in my own heart, a place few will ever find
580 · Jul 2018
positivity winds
D Jul 2018
with the wind blowing my hair back
the plain brown,  not much to look at
the straight nose and long legs;  it looks
great on somebody,  anybody else

but not me

with the wind blowing my hair back
it steals the words from my lips,  lifts
them up into the sky;  it's a clear night
and though I'm dead,  I feel alive
it's a pun if you didn't notice - also my way of saying I don't suit anyone's aesthetic

but **** them right?
580 · Jun 2016
Anxiety
D Jun 2016
I didn't know I had
A N X I E T Y
I thought I was just weird
Now I see how much of me
It's destroyed over the years
I don't go out anymore
I'm always sick with fear
I didn't know I had
A N X I E T Y
Now it's all I hear
574 · Jun 2017
Earthquake
D Jun 2017
who even are you that I write
you're certainly not him, not with his lazy attitude and familiar habit of storming through my mind..
no, you're of some other kind of disaster
a figment of my imagination run far too wild, for too long
perhaps an earthquake, bringing the world down around me, leaving my feet on solid ground
if only to watch me fall when you open up your maw from beneath me, listening to my ragged breathing
I see you, slipping around inside my head, leaving cracks behind you, leaving them to prove that you were there
I can not ignore the ground shaking under me, though I try
a figment of my imagination run far too wild, a tale told many times
but who are you, a lowly hitchhiker lost within my mind
and maybe your grumbling is suppose to be a sign, of wanting to be free of me, same as I
but if you stopped ripping me to shreds we could work together,
but if you stopped, how would that impact the weather
I hated the storms, hate them more than you
so.. what if you stayed instead, let you wreck you havoc in my head, if only I wont have to taste the rain
I give them disasters as they give me mine.
562 · Nov 2014
Take A Minute
D Nov 2014
Take a minute
To reflect, to remember
All you use to be, who you were
Then throw it away
Cast it aside
Take a lighter and watch it burn
561 · Apr 2015
Better Off
D Apr 2015
So much to say
                        No will to say it

Trust me, you're better off
Without me
                         *Tainting ****…
559 · Oct 2015
A Collection of Shorts
D Oct 2015
I never asked to be born this way
Maybe if I was consulted I's be okay
But I wasn't - I don't know what to say
My times running short, my choices limited each day

* * *

You said you think I'm brave
because I can speak my mind
I don't think I'm brave
'cause if I were I would've taken my life


* * *

I'm a coward of the worst kind
One that uses a mask to hide behind


* * *

It's so easy to forget when I'm with you
You make me happy just being alive
But the moment you leave
and I'm left on my own,
My thoughts scream at me
and there's no where to hide

* * *

*Practice make better but I've
     been practicing for years.
Nothings gotten any better, in
      fact all my fears
Are only getting stronger, and
     I'm fighting back tears
'Cause they say practice makes
      better, but I don't think I could take another year.
Just my thoughts from today.
D Oct 2019
the grass is greener where it is watered, so watch where you sow your seeds
to do so in just any garden, could get them choked out at sprout with ease
some people water more than one garden, but everyone has their favorites..
550 · Jul 2015
Love Me Like I Love You
D Jul 2015
I wanted to say make me feel important,
like you'd spend 150$ on me
just because you wanted me
to have something nice from you.
Make me believe you have
trouble getting to sleep
because my arms arent wrapped
around you.
Tell me about your day
not out of obligation,
but because you dont want me to miss
the things that made you happy.
Love me like I love you,
completely with a bit of insanity.
548 · Apr 2014
No Matter What
D Apr 2014
I told you I will never leave you, no matter what
And it's the truth,
No matter how much you hurt me,
No matter how fiercely my hate burns inside myself,
I will always love you too much to let go,
I will always have hope
That you will see, really see
What you're doing to me,
And decide for yourself,
To either let me go,
Or save me from you
And everything you are
But aren't they the same things anyway?
548 · Jul 2018
reverse
D Jul 2018
i wish i could do it over
age slower

get a chance to do it all right
i made a lot of stupid mistakes that make it harder to live now
545 · Oct 2015
Going Unnoticed
D Oct 2015
You say I'm rude because I don't say hi
I don't remind you that I tried
I waved and smiled and called your name
Each time you ignored me all the same
It's all right though, I don't really mind
At least I know that I tried
I think I'm going to stop trying so hard
544 · Dec 2018
inkling
D Dec 2018
I tell myself I'm better, the best I've ever been!
then why do I still feel the same?
a stranger in my skin,

I've lost all will to live, deserted my wishes to the wind.
I know in ways it's not so bad,
but who am I to win?

I tell myself I'm better, at least the best I'll ever get.
because when things go up,
they come back down,

and by then I'll be dead I bet.
not worried about it
543 · Feb 2015
Bad Luck
D Feb 2015
I've had enough bad luck to last me forever
I've never gone outside and seen the sun shine
I've never come across a penny while walking down the street
I've never even seen a rabbit so I could cut off his feet
Rain clouds always covering my skies
And the drops, they keep getting in my eye
I've had enough bad luck to last me forever
But I can suffer through it all if you and I are together
543 · Sep 2016
Hope
D Sep 2016
-

I could cry myself to sleep
If there were anything left to cry
It's been a while yet, still I try
To forgive you, it isn't easy
To trust is so much worse
To believe you wouldn't hurt me
I only hope
540 · Sep 2014
Ughhhhhhhhh
D Sep 2014
Death would be welcoming
In this melancholy mood
Anything more enticing
Than a life filled with gloom
540 · Mar 2017
-
D Mar 2017
-
I'd do anything to forget you
almost a year
UPDATE: Wow didn't know how true this was going to be when I wrote it!!
538 · Apr 2017
I Do
D Apr 2017
I have to be honest somewhere,
might as well be here
I get the feeling sometimes
the end is drawing near,
I hear it in your hesitation
and the way you're quick to go,
don't try and tell me one thing
when inside, you know I know
I hate to materialize this in the world
but I can't hold on to it anymore,
I'm scared you'll never really change
and by tomorrow, it'll have replayed
that same little mistake,
the one we all make
you know the one I'm talking about,
don't you?
I do
537 · Aug 2015
Door Of Opportunity
D Aug 2015
You may know more than anyone
The things I put myself through
All in the name of being unworthy
Of a friend the likes of you
I don't know if I deserve this,
I'm not sure I can,
Its just been so long
Since I've had a real friend
Your arms are wide open
Your heart on display
This took a lot of courage
I guess I'm trying to say
I'm scared of being an inconvience
Or replaced in half a day
But since you asked me so nicely
I'll give it a shot and stay
aaaaah o.o
537 · Dec 2013
10w
D Dec 2013
10w
Theres no
Love, just
Our flesh
Surviving off
Each other.
535 · Mar 2017
Unwelcome
D Mar 2017
I feel unwelcome in my own home
and that's her at her best
My mother is actually the hybrid woman-child of Stupidity incarnate and Donald Trump -- she just wont admit it.
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