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keneth May 16
your love was enough
to devastate my youth

your love is enough
for me to try again

your love is enough
13 grams of love is enough for me to come back falling / fool
If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 13, the only true sentence i ever wrote.
I don't think you're the reason.
These lies made me feel just as bad as I said.
No, I don't do drugs,
No, I don't love you.
Yes, I need help.
No, I don't want help.
Yes, I want to be the one to speak her name as mine.
Yes, I know that that will never happen.
No, I don't know what is happening to me,
Neither do I know If I want to continue my life,

This is the end,

...
A tap on my shoulder,
And a wink,
From you,
When you saw me walking.
All I needed,
To make sure.
Now I know.
This isn't normal.
And even though I know.
I really know you're never there.
I still spend the breaks,
On the same place
Every day.
Still hoping,
You will pass me in the hallway
I'm writing a small poem every day, about how I feel or the world around me. This is #13
If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 12, You.
I'm looking for ideas, can't be inspired by the world around me. My head is full of unwritten, unspeakable poetry only when I see you. My muse, almost. And I try to feel- and feel- and feel. But the scenery changes. You left. Take the blame for other's actions, and your own. And every time you leave my mind, somehow always inspire me. Wether it's your tears from reading my suicide note, or your laugh from, well, anything. And the "you" is so many people, so many ideas. Past, Present, Future. "You" is a broad understanding. It's 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, or even more people. All the same, Yet so different. After such a short time, everyone leaves, and returns to my mind again. In so many different ways. The slightest is necessary. A tap on the back, and a wink. A smile, or a few tears. A hug, or guilt. My own depression. It's true what you said a few minutes ago. All my poems are tagged with depression. I'm just too sad for you, I thought. But i said; because uhh well I wrote those things a long time ago. I hear a lot; "I'm worried about you" aswell. I asked if it was a good or a bad sign that i did, and you said: A BAD SIGN OF COURSE! I laughed. Because maybe this isn't understandable, but enjoyable. Maybe the feeling, and the realisation people cared was the reason. Because it almost makes me feel happy seeing people cry. I'm a psychopath. And sometimes I see myself. And I Can't explain in words how much I hate myself for doing this to you, but mostly, for not being sorry. Don't be like me.
If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 11, Hostage.
Surprisingly.
It's really not like me to be so mean,
You're all I wanted.
Nature changes,
You left my mind.
And someone else entered it.
I don't know what feels true.
But this feels right,
So stay a sec.
Yea you feel right,
So stay a sec.
And let me crawl inside your veins.
I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
Hold and hidden,
By my own hostage.
Kiss me until I can't speak.
Let me listen to your voice.
And let me drown in your words.
Want to be the one,
To speak her name as mine.
Changing sentences into the same.
Hold and hidden,
By my own hostage.
If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 10, The faded memories of a long remembered time.
These things are getting darker every time. So do I. Wishing This wouldn't be just the past, faded memories of times we want to remember. But I can't. These moments may have destroyed me, I still want to remember. Who I was, what drove me into this, and who I never want to become again. These memories are fading, my life is turning into a perfect one. I'm slowly suffocating. Why won't you let me be imperfect, And accept my past. We were young, And all we had was a city. But I don't mind. Will you please let me go back to the times love still existed here, The thoughts of getting out. You can let me go for once, And we'll still be okay.
If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 9, Drown in your words at midnight.
"****, my window makes hella noise after last night's thunderstorm."
"So does that mean you can't sneak out at night anymore?"
"There's got to be another way, I'll fix it."
"Do you think you can do that?"
"If I want to."
"What do you want?"
"You. I want you. I want to love you. I want us to be together in a safe place. I want us to finally be okay. I want us to have a normal life, without hiding the drugs and alcohol, without hiding at all. I want to talk to you. I want us to realise. I want to write and paint and listen to music forever without the need to stop. I want to cry. I want to smile. I want to drown in your words at midnight.
If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 8, Broken mirror
No one will ever make sure the clock stops ticking.
No one will ever keep a poem as one of their dearest possesions.
No one will ever leave the pages blank if they have words to fill it with.
No one will ever keep an extinguished cigarette in their package.
No one will ever stop being afraid of the dark, so we turn into the dark ourselves.
No one will ever keep an empty bottle of alcohol in their drawers.
No one will ever stop cutting themselves when they realise they shouldn't.
No one will ever keep the light on if they can choose to close their eyes.
No one will ever love without wondering why.
No one will ever keep a broken mirror in their pockets.
Or would you?
If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it.

Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.

Reason 7, The call of satan.
Are you okay? I can see you. I can see the tears in your eyes. I can see your face turning red. I can see the anger, I can see the need for help. Why do we hide it? Why do we push each other away? I love you, Can't you see? The silent call of satan takes my will to live away. Singing to the devil together, feeling Bohemian Rhapsody. The thoughts are leaking out of me right on the paper, so is my blood. The silent call of satan took my will to live away.
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