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291 · Apr 2020
Mortal Coil
Sabika Apr 2020
Your tear
Trickles and drips
Into a sea
Of blood.
Chains left
Red and blue stains
Around your wrist,
Around your neck.
Mirrors show a reality
You cannot accept.

You scream
Watching the growth of
A rotten seed.
What else do you do
In the wake of
The ugliest deed?
What else do you do
In the wake of
A limitless greed?

Your tear
Trickles and drips
Into a sea of blood.
Ripples grow
And reach out
Far and wide
Tainting streams.

The blood boils.
The blood hears the chains
Rattle in this
Mortal coil.
290 · May 2020
Fate
Sabika May 2020
Mummified me tight in her web,
she finds it funny
that my eyes are left open.

I shake
but I cannot listen
and I cannot scream
and she stares until
my heart is broken.

she whispers and I read her lips:
"I am fate,
and you were held firm in my clutches
ever since man has fallen.

"Lay, watch, and twitch
and remember my dear,
every breath you take is testimony
that you were chosen."
286 · May 2020
Fearful Conscience
Sabika May 2020
I feel such terrible distress
Like I lost something as precious
As my purpose.
All the screams and darkness
Swooping over me and drowning my senses
Fear is senseless
And reckless.
Fear is helpless
So painful it’s painless.
So dark
It blinds me with its brightness.

This world goes in circles
And repeats cycles
And I’m stuck in the middle
As I cry in my comfortable cradle
Because I am blessed to point out that
my only curse
Is having to feel
And live a life so real
It haunts me in my sleep
And seeps into my dreams.
And buries me in a grave.

Why do I cry for the future?
The present is a cloud
And fate is the wind
And I try to find my silhouette
Reflected within.

I revel in this collective fearful consciousness.
I revel in this confused toxicity and if this isn’t telling
Then I should be yelling.
278 · Sep 2020
Conscious
Sabika Sep 2020
Monitor the way you speak to yourself,
Catch yourself
In the midst of your own delusions.
You have mirrors
And a light in the middle
And you bounce off surfaces,
Weaknesses and solutions.
Confined in a body in a body
Revelling in a cognitive dissonance,
As you recognise within you
A drop from the divine,
You cannot ignore the infinite distance.
274 · Oct 2018
I Depend on Context
Sabika Oct 2018
Give me a backstory
and I'll show you a different character
each time.
Give me a time and place,
and I'll show you my morals were lies
and my standards are non-existent,
and that I've had you fooled
in every single appearance;
and I'll make you realize
that my lies
have been consistent.
Don't get it twisted, this poem isn't about me.
274 · Jun 2021
You
Sabika Jun 2021
You
In my chest
I carry your pain.
In my eyes
I see your light.
A newborn star,
Your youth is treasure,
A nebulae,
Your wisdom is dynamite.

My love for you is innate, instinctual.
I have hope your future will be bright.
Your beauty surpasses the physical,
You are unlike any creature in sight.

In my head I hear your thoughts,
And with my arms
I will hold you tight.
A baby bud,
Your cry is powerful.
A willow tree,
you stand firm with might!
272 · Oct 2018
Too Human
Sabika Oct 2018
Too ******
and impulsive.
Too selfish
and deluded, ignorant
and submissive,
wearing a veil of falsehood
in order to feel protected.
So inconsistant
to my promises and my solutions.
Too eager for a better me
and a better life,
but too greedy to truly see myself,
too blind to be truly kind,
too sad to strive,
too happy to move on.
Too bad,
I'm too human.
The human condition.
Sabika May 2021
It has finally become clear,
And you have released all doubts from my mind.
Even though I still love you,
We are incompatible once
We compare our skeletons.
You do not understand me,
But I understand you fully,
And I understand that you don’t
Understand yourself entirely.
Thus you do not know me and
I doubt you would be so kind once you do.
I do not wish to say goodbye,
But my soul has already left and
Our umbilical cord was cut
Once you trivialised that which is
Central to me
And I do not blame you,
Nor do I hold a grudge,
Because I understand you fully:
You preach love and compassion and
Yet you lack comfort and wisdom,
It is because you see through other eyes and not with them.
I still love you,
But it’s time I moved on towards the
Things which reflect my being
And are compatible once
We compare our skeletons.
There are friends who you know that if you told them your true thoughts they would think differently of you and perhaps distance themselves from you because of that, despite the fact that you two may both have pure hearts. There are some friends whom if you had honest discussions with them they couldn’t handle it. And you know deep down inside, this relationship is meaningless and will soon die out and be rendered empty. We need to improve on our own communication, and be patient with one another. But another most important aspect of friendship, is being curious towards each other.
Sabika Oct 2018
Foul,
rotten,
something about you gives the stench of burned flesh,
the stain of corroding steel,
the buzzing sound of a thousand insects.
When you talk I feel like centipedes crawl up my spine,
roaches swirl between my toes,
and worms pour out of ears.
My eyes itch, and I twitch
underneath my skin
for your soul
is the foulest din.
We've all met someone like this
255 · Oct 2018
Social Anxiety
Sabika Oct 2018
My heart races in the thought of you.
This is not love.
"You're nothing!" I repeat in my mind.
But you're not a machine that I can control.
When I look at you, I stand face to face with life itself.
A breathing replica of all its past in one.
Unpredictable.
Your thoughts hidden from view.
To talk to you is a leap of faith,
a risk that weighs heavy on my mind.
It's so much easier to look at you from afar.
250 · Oct 2020
Childhood Wonders
Sabika Oct 2020
I’ve grown numb
And accustomed to
Whatever that was deemed
Extraordinary.
Does this make me dull
If the complexity of the universe
Has become
Ordinary?
No longer a stranger or an enigma
To my inner experience?
Does this make me boring
If I no longer find joy
In discovering something
Unsurprising?
For when you
Constantly dwell and live
In the unknown
Is it really a big deal
To find something unexpected?
I mean... what did you expect anyway?

I am more interested in human interactions
In the consequences
And the causes
Of my actions
And I have internalised the outside world
And the outside wonders and
Discipline and harmony
Has become my quest and
My childish discovery.
235 · Oct 2018
Regress
Sabika Oct 2018
Alone again,
Like how it was before I was found,
Before I could hear a sound.

My head has turned bleak.
Slowly approaching my peak,
I find it hard to find the words to speak.

And the shadows seep into my cracks
by your command
doubt and drought invade this fertile land
as my world regresses in a state of chaos
and loss
and confusion
with the fusion of hope and contempt
to my ignorance and to your method.

You held me in your palm
and hear my imperfect soul cry from across realms
that shield me from the truth.
I become sad...
Am I mad for wanting better for myself,
better than myself?
Make me better for you.
Spiritual starvation.
233 · Oct 2018
The Masters' Piece
Sabika Oct 2018
I want to create a masterpiece,
become a masterpiece:
to live in mastered peace,
to die a master in peace.
For that I master peace,
and die piece by piece,
to become a master.
Peace
228 · Jan 2020
How I am
Sabika Jan 2020
In my mind I say what I mean
And mean what I say.
But my actions could speak otherwise.
Am I a hypocrite if my mind is far greater than my own two hands?

Am I helpless if I know what to do,
But my body won’t move according to plan?

Am I deluded if I think I can
When I can’t,
Or if I think I can’t,
When I can?

Am I who I am
Or am I what I am?
227 · Jun 2020
Child of Humanity
Sabika Jun 2020
I'm in love with a lover
Who is loved by another
and I'd die just to see you
smile at me.

He's the son of a daughter
Who is married to his father
And they're all the children
Of humanity.

I'm stronger in sorrow
I carry till tomorrow
And I'm productive
In insanity

As I chase the devil
The path becomes narrow
And I hate the incarnation
Of profanity.

Here I am.
Do you see me?

I am lost
I'm alone
Lead me to my
Destiny.

I am man.
All men are me.
And I live with this truth
Vicariously.

I'm indebted to your kindness
My lord, you are the finest
And there's no denying
Reality.

I have found my purpose
Help me to stay focused
And save me from your
Calamity.
217 · Oct 2018
I'm Going to Die Anyway
Sabika Oct 2018
I've been caught grim.
There were lies and deprivation.
My lights were dim,
and in their faint spark I drew a constellation.
I mapped out my purpose
and with my focus
I paved my path towards death,
measuring each breath
that they are worthwhile.

"I'm going to die anyway,
I'm going to die anyway!"
The future is none of my concern.
A present from the present is mine to earn;
and from the past I grow to learn
that I always had a choice,
to flourish or to burn.
216 · Oct 2018
My Share
Sabika Oct 2018
I did not come into this world alone.
I was brought through the choices of my ancestors,
as they embody a time where I was not yet born.

I did not come into this world alone,
no.
Instead I came to a people I did not choose,
whose unspoken duty is to be tolerant and trustworthy
and so is mine
and so is mine.

I came into this world alone.
What's in my mind is mine,
and what I share is for the world,
and how I feel is always concealed
behind the masks of unspoken words.

The question is
how much of me is for me,
and how much of me is for the world?
216 · Oct 2018
Why Do You Love Me?
Sabika Oct 2018
You approach me with curiosity I don't want to touch,
with a readiness in your voice
like you're ready to hear too much and judge;
and I'm not used to this kind of care
and this type of love.
So I shut you off
and become short
and become tough,
for I've not learned how to respond to love.
216 · May 2020
Lonely
Sabika May 2020
There is no companion,
Only company.
There is no love but
They are lovely.
There is no curiosity to ask:
“What are your dreams?”
“Your secrets?”
“Your difficulties?”
There’s no desire to observe a legacy.

Maybe the protagonist is to blame.
Years were spent building
A foundation based on
Secrecy and mistrust
But I had no idea
People were happy and willing
To play along.
215 · Oct 2018
Regret
Sabika Oct 2018
I let my gaurd down and you slither
between my cracks, wait for my consciousness to whither,
"Perfect", you so viciously whisper.

You shut the lights and cast shadows,
and I don't see these arrows
pointing at me in full view
while I'm blinded by the assumption
that I can trust you.

Shot in the heart,
the lights turn on,
with regret I stare into my blood
for the things I haven't done.
212 · Oct 2018
Opportunity
Sabika Oct 2018
Hands shake, my eyes gleam.
It's a clear step forward,
or so it seemed.

Every night spent restless,
dissatisfied,
now adding up to what's about to happen.

But what if my foot hits a rock and I stumble?
What if with this very step I sprain my ankle?
How do I even walk again? What if I tumble?

Doubt is progress' worse enemy,
procrastination is the fake friend,
imagination is the inspiration,
determination will determine the end.

My fate cries
and I can see time rising again
as I stare in awe
at the golden sun.
212 · Mar 2022
Do You Still Not Know Me
Sabika Mar 2022
Do you still not know
Who I am after all these years?
Was it my fault for not telling you
Or for you never asking?
Did I deceive you because
I was reserved?
Did it ever occur to you that
I could be suffering in silence?
Yet let me ask again
Do you still not know me after all these years?
What am I to you
Who am I to you
What do I seem like to you?
Because you are baffled by my reaction
To your cold shoulder
Your blunt response
Telling me to deal with it
On my own
Like I’ve always done.
And I don’t know
If you can see
What it is you’re doing
But you’re making this
So much harder for me.
And I wonder
Do you still not know
Who I am after all these years?
And yet these tears
These familiar tears
Glide on my cheeks
Reminding me that I’ve always been
Deeply lonely.
Deeply.
And when I make a noise
It’s like no one listens
It’s like I’m in a dream
And you’re all in a daze,
And I’m not sure
If it was me who dug this
Deep dark grave.
209 · Jan 2020
Transaction
Sabika Jan 2020
I understand
Love to be the appreciation of
What you can give.

No, love is love for the sake of love.

But I see nothing innocent, just pure.
“I appreciate you for the way you make me feel”
A.k.A
“I appreciate you for what you give to me”
A.K.A
“I love you.”

Sure it’s a little sweet but
It’s the only time you don’t mind being
Positively manipulated,
Positively used.
And you balance the scales with:
“I love you too”.

I feed off of you,
As you feed off of me,
And we’ll call this relationship ‘healthy’
And here we are.
Bound by a verbal contract,
Constantly in contact.
And I am stuck in your orbit oblivious as
To where I am headed.
I don’t understand this.
I look for the exit,
Because you are hungry,
And I am poor.
197 · Jan 2020
Unanswered
Sabika Jan 2020
Would the question still be beautiful
If you knew the answer?
194 · Apr 2020
Demon
Sabika Apr 2020
Scratches on my neck
And blood in my mouth as I wake.
Faces
I see faces,
Voices,
I hear your footsteps behind me,
Is my life at stake?

Eyes open
Laid bare
But I cannot move!
Flesh out my mouth
Snake bites my neck,
What have you got got to prove?

My mind,
A haunting ghost
Stares at me wide eyed,
Open mouth,
It’s a black shadow
Full of sorrow
And it feeds me
Guilt and doubt
Until tomorrow
Until tomorrow
194 · Nov 2020
I decide
Sabika Nov 2020
Behold my careful stride,
I decide.
I decide.

I test the winds
and waters,
I decide
the fate of of the dwellers.

Carried by an external force,
I decide my inner course.
187 · Jan 2020
Fire A Liar
Sabika Jan 2020
I want to stab a knife to your canvas
And maybe as expected,
Instead of flesh and bones
I find snakes
Slithering, swirling frantically,
Kissed by fear in their evil eyes,
In their terrible surprise
Fire has exposed them!

I want to dash red paint on that fake smile
And watch you gurgle on your own blood
As it pours
Thick, black
From between your teeth.

I want to rip out your lying, beating heart,
Blackened by your sins and selfish intentions,
And watch your hollow eyes finally
Show true emotions.

And I will not stop picking
You apart until you cry
“I give up!”
But how can I trust a
Black
Lying
Beating
Heart?
185 · Jan 2020
Forgive Me
Sabika Jan 2020
Forgive me for when my eyes are shut and my hands roam,
Or when my hands are tied yet my eyes stab.
Forgive me when I am ignorant and stomp my feet,
Or when I softly step into a territory that I know is made for my demise.
Forgive me when I am a coward who thinks she is wise.
183 · Sep 2020
Little Girl
Sabika Sep 2020
I tell her:
My little girl,
These days are intense
And alone.
And I know when you
Open that gate,
You do not recognise your home.

My little girl,
I know your mind is dark,
I know there are traces of a plague
Infecting your heart,
I know you want a fresh new start-
But put down the knife
And let wounds mend
And pains blend,
And see this life
To its natural end.
178 · Jan 2020
This Is Why I Am Here
Sabika Jan 2020
Tell me my purpose
If I was dead before I was born,
And will die when I am dead.

If death is immortal,
Eternal,
Necessary;
Yet life is frail,
Conditional,
Temporary.

Tell me why I am here
In my joy,
My fury,
My agony.

I suffer,
I change.
I am pushed to my limits and beyond
Burdened with freedom and empathy.

Tell me why I feel such emotions
That last
And alas
Here I am
Triumphant.

So
“Give me hell,
Give me heaven,
All your visions of life.”
174 · Apr 2023
The Gift of Loving You
Sabika Apr 2023
Let me cherish this.
This pure love I have for you.
Not for what you look like,
Or for what you can do,
But purely for the person that you are.
Let me cherish this sweet innocence.
Let me rely on the remembrance of your smile,
Or the times when you’d speak to me,
To fill me with glee.
Let me hold on to the peace I felt
When remembering the fact that I’d be around you
Would calm the storm of my turbulent mind
Even for a short time.
Loving you isn’t painful,
It’s natural and comes easy.
It has been a blessing bestowed onto me.
I feel like I know you beyond words,
I feel like you know me.
It is tragic though, when I know that I can’t have you, it’s true,
But to have had the honour,
The pleasure of knowing you,
Even for a short time,
I am grateful beyond what words can describe.
169 · Jun 2020
Truth
Sabika Jun 2020
Truth is still water,
a gentle whisper,
a soft touch.
Easy to ignore
yet
persistent
consistent.
166 · Jan 2020
Reminded
Sabika Jan 2020
It took me by surprise.
Familiarised with the forgotten feeling
That I am no longer familiar to the universe.
Conflicted with the paranoid thought
That no one ever sees the true light
Of my actions.
I suffer because of this.
Held back by the remembrance
That I cannot seek salvation in other's souls.

But I try and try again
For the mere thought of loneliness and
The permanent change
Make me go mad.

I’d rather die trying to find a place in
You foul heart, felt,
Than to die misunderstood.
162 · Jan 2020
Once Upon a Passion
Sabika Jan 2020
Once upon a time
There was a passion,
Like burning fire,
Boiling water,
Saturated with desire.
The thirst of needing to be seen,
To be heard,
To be free as a soaring bird
Was unquenchable and
Unquestionable.

It was so clear
It ruled out the anxiety
And the fear
Of being judged
Being wrong
And being crushed.

Now that passion has burned out,
Drained,
Pale;
What is left is the anxiety
The possibility
To fail.
153 · Jan 2020
The Light of Night
Sabika Jan 2020
I’m inspired
Underneath the cloak of the night
Before the crack of dawn.

Comforted
In the space between the walls
This soul built for itself.
Foundations set
On the comfort of the confirmation of
The truth.
Foundations laid specifically
To limit me,
Specifically
To set me free.

When the divine design is
Bare and naked,
Consciousness shows it’s double edges;
Consciousness becomes a threat and
I am conned.
Consciousness turns me into a slandering dog and I’ll fetch whatever entices your eyes
For your love becomes
My love of
I.

Desires and emotions,
Fleeting like night and day,
In a vulnerable soul.

How do I put this?

I am free underneath the cloak of night.
And you could bring the rays of dawn.
But first
Understand the light in darkness.
Go beyond sight,
Because I am free from
The expectation of
Surface delight.
148 · Apr 2023
The Silence
Sabika Apr 2023
The silence
Embraced me with its gentleness
And caressed me with a form of peace
Lying below, or above,
Somewhere in a deeper dimension.
As I’ve been constantly at war with
My limits,
I saw how she struggled to connect,
Interpreted stillness and quiet as a threat
To her image: the girl she learned she had to be
Just so that she could make sense to other people…
To me.
I can’t believe you speak to me in this way.
But I’m only repeating to myself
The early words I learned as a cub,
“No, you must not speak, no one wants to hear, you have nothing to declare, you’ve been foolish, you must be embarrassed every time, how dare you come out of your shell!”
Never got to learn
Who I was beneath the clouds,
Beneath the fog and the illusions.
All I’m doing is trying my hardest
To avoid humiliation,
Trying my best to be liked by you.
147 · Jan 2020
Procrastination
Sabika Jan 2020
Still in time.
Or so I thought.
          
           Fooled.
Overwhelmed by an emotion of unwanted desire,
Knowing there’s an island on the other side.

But

Fooled by fear
I drown slowly
In a calm despair.
138 · Apr 2023
Judgement Day
Sabika Apr 2023
Judgement day is not near,
It’s here.
Ears whisper to me the things I’ve said.
Hands show me what I’ve done.
Feet take me back to where I’ve been,
Heart sings the songs I’ve sung.
Judgement day is here.
The future is happening.
The first seed is always infinite,
Unfinished,
And the past is always taking place
Somehow.
Judgement day is here
And actions and intentions are
Never erased.
If you make a mistake you better do
Something else that can take its place.
Judgement day is here and
You verse yourself in the race.
134 · Feb 2023
Pathetic Kinship
Sabika Feb 2023
Why do I think that
I’m exempt from certain fates?
Why do I think
That I’m different from others
And separate from their struggles?
Maybe because you were here with me
And we faced the world together
And we made a home
With hard solid foundations.
But with a huff and a puff
Satan shook the skeleton
The very structure
The very innards
And I felt the shiver
And the dread that
Perhaps nothing,
And I mean
Absolutely nothing lasts forever.

So it is in moments like these
That I feel a pathetic kinship
To the most desolate
And The most desperate of man.
Oh how small I am.
134 · May 2023
I Run
Sabika May 2023
Out of fear and into courage I run,
Between hope and despair I continue,
Passed humiliation and betrayal I go
And with every cry and whisper I know
That the goal is reached when you try,
And that I must not stop running 'til I die.

There are no friends in this life, I know.
There are only responsibilities and opportunities to grow.
So lives run with and depart from me.
I run fast through the valleys,
And slow from under the sea.
And around me I see sometimes,
As I get distracted by other's songs and rhymes,
I see their smiles and laughter,
And in that I remember my own tears and anger,
And I'm overcome by a rage and hunger,
And suddenly I want to run no longer.

But in the dark, yet in midday,
I hear you calling me to continue your way,
Be it with a smile or with tears,
With rage or with grief all through the years,
"The best is with Me, had you known.
"Despite all adversity, look how much you've grown!"
And to love
I answer,
And to you,
I run faster!
129 · Jan 2021
Freedom
Sabika Jan 2021
Nobody told me
Freedom is lonely.
Tears glide but
I’m not sad.
I think about the things I’ve sacrificed to be here,
I think about the dead versions of myself
And how I grew without the guidance of my guides.
I’ve grown into myself despite you
To spite you
Yet you take all the credit anyway.
127 · Jan 2020
The Architect
Sabika Jan 2020
He performs an act of deformation
Because while the world seems to be
In a period of stagnation,
Out swarms his imagination.

The process of distortion is meditative.
Something natural about using
Force on an object stubborn yet
Submissive.

He casts it on fire.
Bends it
Pulls it
Throws it
Kick it!
Hit it!
Scrape it!
Tear it!
DESTROY IT
and see it destroyed-
Created into an imagined image.

His urge completed,
He marvels at his god-likeness
To bend objects at his peril
Taken out of its feral
In a process as natural and
Disruptive as
An earthquake or a tsunami.
And yet,
He bares no blame or shame for
Mimicking life in the dead and gone.
127 · May 2020
Ice
Sabika May 2020
Ice
Stuck a sticker on a
Block of cold ice.
The sticker is stuck
In a frozen smile.

Maybe that smile
The resolve
The will
Is warm enough to make
Cold hearts melt.

And I drip,
Drip,
Drip.
119 · Jan 2023
I Wish
Sabika Jan 2023
I wish you were a bit more daring.
I wish you would come and tell me how you feel instead of staring.
I wish you were bold enough to touch me.
You used to come close and smell me.
I wish you would have taken me home that night.
I wish you'd laid me down and kissed me
So that I could've felt alright.
118 · Jan 2023
The Submitted Lover
Sabika Jan 2023
Oh, I can't help but feel warm inside
When I think about
All there is to love,
All there is to fear,
All there is to see,
And all there is to hear.
I feel soft and gentle,
And I watch the waves of life
Flowing through me, around me,
And passing me by
With all there is to hate,
All there is to feel,
And all the scars that are left to heal.
And I love it! I'm alive! I'm living!
I can thrive! I'm floating! I'm swimming!
Oh I love it! I love it!
I'm alive, I'm living!
Oh why, I can't help it,
I'm dancing! I'm singing
With a smile and with tears;
The entirety of life's weight on my heart,
And I just fall so much deeper in love.

To be tied, to be linked;
Oh it feels so euphoric to be so connected,
So in sync.
And I would hate for this to go away,
For my swollen heart to shrink.
This playful love that I have
For a life filled with pain and grief,
For a life so preciously brief,
Oh God, please don't take this away from me.
I feel deeply blessed and gifted
When I truly don't mind how life gets,
No matter how joyful and lighthearted,
No matter how dark and twisted.
116 · May 2023
Wilfully Optimistic
Sabika May 2023
As I sit on this bench
And the chilly breeze raises my skin,
The birds sing their beautiful songs,
And the leaves dance in the golden light;
The clouds sway and move,
They are thick and rich in colour,
And I cannot help but wonder -
How long before this moment lasts?

Home is infested with vermin
And no tool will help me clean it.
I pray in my room, and listen to sermons,
And I’m anxious over my future
For I cannot see it.
I cannot help it, I am afraid,
But I’ll wilfully enjoy this calm.
I’ll hold my hand as it shakes,
And I’ll wipe a cloth over my sweaty palms.
For what choice do I have
Other than to stop and wait?
I cannot agonise over that which
Is out of my control,
So I’ll work with fate,
And no matter what happens
God remains great.
111 · Jan 2023
She Forgets
Sabika Jan 2023
She wakes up and forgets what it means to be human.
Your expressions, your mannerisms, your tone,
None of them evoke truth,
Or what is really going on.
There's always something more,
Something far far beyond.
So when you are plain and clear to her,
She doesn't trust it.
It's best if you write it with a felt-tip.
If she doesn't have another sounding board to bounce off of,
How does she know what reality is?
She cannot tell who is genuine or who is a fraud.
She wakes up and says she forgot.
So she would rather sit in her corner
And observe how we interact.
She'll memories what works
To make up for what she lacks.
106 · Apr 2021
درون دلم
Sabika Apr 2021
کدام کس را
کدام شخص را
در دل خود جای دهم؟

همان کس که آن همه روز ها
مراقب من بودند
چه در آسمان
چه در زمین
مرا نگاه می کردند
مانند سربازی شجاع
مرا حفاظت می کردند

آری آن کس
آری آن شخص
که به من کمک می کردند
می تواند در دل من
خود را جای دهند

کدام کس را
کدام شخص را
در دل خود جای دهم؟

آری خدا
آری خدا
بهتر از او پیدا نکردم
من قبل از سن ۱۱ سالگی این شعر در ایران نوشتم
105 · Dec 2023
Waste
Sabika Dec 2023
I remember the ways in which your body told me that you want me:
Pulling me so close so that our chests were inches away,
Your strong arms firm around my waist
Taking my breath away.
"Come here" you'd rasp, and I'd obey.
Grabbed my ******* and ****** the tip,
Picked me up and threw me on the bed,
Kissed my hand to my arm any chance you'd get.
****** and bit my neck,
Liked the way I tasted...
Yet all our efforts to hold onto each other,
Wasted.
103 · Jan 2023
My Confusion
Sabika Jan 2023
To depict my utter confusion
Let me speak clearly.
I don't know anymore
What is wrong and what is right.
Perhaps I've never known
Exactly what separates daylight from the night.
And when I look into it
There are so many perspectives,
And time is spent on each
And each is compelling.
I've learned through experience
That to an extent, everything is true,
And I've learned that
No one is a villain of their own story
But they are all a victim of life's tragedy,
And I don't know what I know anymore when
I have empathy.
And I've been so deluded and mislead;
Made my own superstitions from my head,
And gave a character to life that was unfair,
So what am I really doing here?
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