Why am I like this?
It shouldn't be this way
Am I really alone
Or is it my brain just forcing me back
Back in time
To the dark
To this inescapable prison
Where have I gone
Where are you
Whoever you are
I can't do this myself
I just keep falling
No one realizes
I'm slowly failing life
The longer I go the more I fail
Slowly crumbling with every step
Failure is second nature now
It hurts but I can't get around it
I can't stop it now
Doomed to this world of darkness
Will my brain ever let me go
Or do I need someone?
Let me know what you think.
The sadly wind is blowing
With the silent sky
The clouds are coming
Rythem of rains are falling
With the bone....
My heart is breaking
So tired of crying
I need Your help.....
I need Your help....
Lord i'm calling....i need Your help
Morning, day and night,
hopelessly I wonder,
Knowing nothing better?
Facing other fears?
I saw red and I saw silver.
when has blunt steel been useful?
like a wave of light,
there is nothing
there is silence.
then the guilt draws in, tiptoeing silently,
was it worth it?
what had I done?
there are no riddles no games
that was me
or was it me
so I have no idea what I'm doing but if you could give me advice I would appreciate it a lot thanks
Never let a pebble
Become a boulder.
For troubles should never
Accumulate to the point
Where you are lighter
Than the weight of your woes.
I woke up today feelig quite different.
Everything was black and blue.
My body was feeling so heavy,
heavier than ever before.
Will I feel this weight on my heart forevor?
Cause it eats me alive everyday.
I physically feel it pushing down on my heart and sinking it down to my stomach.
Will it ever be as light as feather?
Cause sometimes i get butterflies in my stomach.
I feel them flapping their wings and raising my heart back into place.
I feel so happy it brings a smirk to my face.
But it never quite gets there.
No matter how light it may feel,
the weight is always there.
I see it sometimes
in a dream at night
in a dream at day
I see how good it could be
I'm not sure what happy is, but what else could it be?
I see it in my dreams
pure happiness, held tightly in my grasp.
it's so alluring
when it's at its best
must I always
end it in tears
not just destroy it
but make it a nightmare
i think to myself, why do I always have nightmares and not dreams?
is it so?
do I turn my dreams into nightmares
I met her eyes they showed a series of lies
what she hides is behind her smile
never to show never to see until only her can be set free
She is drowning but there is no water
People asked her how shes been
she said "I'm healing sins"
She carries the chains around her neck
Tangled and mess a reminder she is a wreck
The rivers are the agents of the sea
thoughts flow like the river sent into words
hard to express but easily felt
Her screams of silence never heard
what is dear to her its nothing no more
Only desire is to be set free
They ask me who I want to be
I ask them what is wrong with me?
They say to be like others are
You can't become a faulty star
There's no way that you'll get that far
Be a doctor, be a nurse
Be a dentist, drive a hearse
A poet? please, you can't do worse
You can't make money just with verse
They ask me how I sympathize
With tear-stained faces, bloodshot eyes
Those who struggle with goodbyes
And quiet ones who analyze
Or far too much, apologize
They ask me how I am so wise
I say that I just talk to them
Find the lovely, hidden gem
But first, I say, I don't condemn
You are you and I am me
That is all we have to be
If we strive to be much more
We fight our own internal war
Don't be something for another's sake
Learn to dream when you're awake
Remember you're your own snowflake
They ask me
What makes you happy?
I answer short of patience
And just a little snappy
I say that sometimes nothing can
Like leaping out of fire
Just to land in the pan
I feel just as permanent
As lines in the sand
Hurting on the inside
I just don't understand
And other times I feel fine
As if the sun remembered
How to shine
It's like depression just forgot
How to poison every thought
Or pull my fragile heartstrings taut
And shatter every dream I sought
But I don't say this all out loud
In front of one big jeering crowd
Or with friends or all alone
Or even when I'm safe at home
I look into their eyes and say
Don't worry, friend, I'll be okay