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Jenny Umansky Feb 17
I woke up today feelig quite different.
Everything was black and blue.
My body was feeling so heavy,
heavier than ever before.
Jenny Umansky Feb 17
Will I feel this weight on my heart forevor?
Cause it eats me alive everyday.

I physically feel it pushing down on my heart and sinking it down to my stomach.

Will it ever be as light as feather?
Cause sometimes i get butterflies in my stomach.
I feel them flapping their wings and raising my heart back into place.
I feel so happy it brings a smirk to my face.

But it never quite gets there.
No matter how light it may feel,
the weight is always there.
Its everywhere.
Frank Nov 2018
I see it sometimes

in a dream at night
in a dream at day

I see how good it could be
could've
been.

its
happy

I'm not sure what happy is, but what else could it be?

I see it in my dreams
pure happiness, held tightly in my grasp.

it's so alluring
so
captivating

but why
when it's at its best

must I always

always

ruin it
end it in tears
not just destroy it
but make it a nightmare

i think to myself, why do I always have nightmares and not dreams?
but
is it so?

or

do I turn my dreams into nightmares
always
Francine Oct 2018
I met her eyes they showed a series of lies
what she hides is behind her smile
never to show never to see until only her can be set free

She is drowning but there is no water
People asked her how shes been
she said "I'm healing sins"  

She carries the chains around her neck
Tangled and mess a reminder she is a wreck

The rivers are the agents of the sea
thoughts flow like the river sent into words
hard to express but easily felt

Her screams of silence never heard
what is dear to her its nothing no more
Only desire is to be set free
Sam Lylin Aug 2018
They ask me who I want to be
I ask them what is wrong with me?
They say to be like others are
You can't become a faulty star
There's no way that you'll get that far
Be a doctor, be a nurse
Be a dentist, drive a hearse
A poet? please, you can't do worse
You can't make money just with verse

They ask me how I sympathize
With tear-stained faces, bloodshot eyes
Those who struggle with goodbyes
And quiet ones who analyze
Or far too much, apologize
They ask me how I am so wise

I say that I just talk to them
Find the lovely, hidden gem
But first, I say, I don't condemn
You are you and I am me
That is all we have to be
If we strive to be much more
We fight our own internal war
Don't be something for another's sake
Learn to dream when you're awake
Remember you're your own snowflake

They ask me
What makes you happy?
I answer short of patience
And just a little snappy

I say that sometimes nothing can
Like leaping out of fire
Just to land in the pan
I feel just as permanent
As lines in the sand
Hurting on the inside
I just don't understand

And other times I feel fine
As if the sun remembered
How to shine
It's like depression just forgot
How to poison every thought
Or pull my fragile heartstrings taut
And shatter every dream I sought

But I don't say this all out loud
In front of one big jeering crowd
Or with friends or all alone
Or even when I'm safe at home
I look into their eyes and say
Don't worry, friend, I'll be okay
Roman Pavel Jul 2018
Take a look at my scars, and I’ll tell you a story,
But not every story has a scar.
They may frighten you, even be a little gory
But I’m proud of them by far

They’re numeric, reminder of the time
A past hysteric, reminder of the climb

There’s no big hand, nor small hand, just ticks on the inside of the wrist
And in either past, or present, I stand, The small hand still exists

With every tick and every tac, came a click and a comeback, and every time I thought I lacked, I came back, I came back

So the scars you see, aren’t the scars that hurt
The scars that bleed, aren’t that overt
And may I assert,
That real scars need to be pestered and picked, overtime they fester and restrict

One day the slice was slow, as I cut deep into the skin.
How I watched the blood go, as I fell into a grin.
Though you couldn’t tell at the time, But, that’s when I had total control.
In the youth of my prime, when my honor was stole.

Waiting for assurance, but assurance was delayed,
expecting a father’s love, but Love was betrayed.

And now the blood is pooling, and the scar begins to clot,
my heart begins its cooling, but the blood is still hot

There’s no fret, no confusion, nor panic
All what I let, no dissolution, nor manic

For what comes next is easy and simple, of how to mend the ****.
After a thorough cleaning, it’ll heal up in a flash

But deep cuts take long to heal,
They’re a constant reminder of what’s real
There’s a constant reminder of the deal
Constantly restricting what you feel.

You have to restrict the scar from growing
The power comes from managing the pain.
Stop the mind from knowing
Restriction of the brain.

So which story would you rather Hear?
The one of Triumph or the one of Fear.
Because both start in the same place
But, one ends at the surface, while the other at the base.

And while my deepest cuts remain covered
A person is discovered.
Beyond the cuts, only skin deep
Deep into the secrets I keep
Cuts that scrape down to the soul
That no medication can fill the hole
But, now I can stand and walk
Even when those around stare and gawk
I shed the weight of the shackles of my past, and hope that this time it will last
There are no tales told of a heroine a *****
For my story is brave. And in my story, I save.
For if you knew me, you’d see.
That deep down, I just want to be, Free
For the ones that live with their scars
PJ Apr 2018
Afraid and Anxious of
Being something I'm not
Conscious about everything
Dying to be
Everything I want but wheres the
Fun in that.
Go out and
Have fun.
Its strange how I changed.
Jeers where the sound track of my life.
Knowing that many have been cheering
Lamenting of the days I should have   fought.
Mountains where not made to
Nor overcome. That what I thought I have this
OBSESSION of
Painting my way by asking allot of Questions that I shouldn't have ask.
Race that I shouldn't have joined cause I'm
Sedentary. I'm afraid to move.
Timid and Nervous. Fear is
Ubiquitous for everyone, but its Victory over me is for sure. but
Wait its not the end because I'm the stranger of
Xenization, forever travelling alone
Yearning to be with somebody. This is the end and the start
Zero, yes I started with an A&Z is the end cause I always feel
                   WORTHLESS.
A to Z of my story
Kayla Apr 2018
He was so rough with me
It was unbearable
I cried instead of screamed
I bleed instead of cummed
I guess I was
Just another one
Of his **** victims
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