If I can say
the things I feel, the wind
would die out

If I can explain how hard I cry
my eyes would tell you
I am only surviving just for today

I submerge myself in my own sadness
believing I won't drown

My heart sinks
while my mind runs like blizzards
in a storm

Being so scared the past will drag me
I am only one person
who knows how it feels
when I am only punishing myself for it

The heart I am made with
can only handle so much of this

I am full of opportunity
Bubbling from my purpose
Which guides my every day
Keeps me virtuous
In touch with my happiness
and the joy I find
In living my own way

I've been gone,
Focusing on my goals,
Savoring every minute,
In the present,
Being whole,

Disconnecting from distractions,
Discovering new attractions,
That move me to the next level,
That make me feel confident,

I am stronger than the devil,
Or anyone who cares to defy me,
For I am the light,
That burns so bright,
To educate and revive thee,

From the pain,
Of the mundane,
Lack of wonder,
Abysmal plane,

That is life,
Without dreams,
Art,
Inspiration,
Plight,
Accommodation.

I drink too much but it gives me the pleasure of intoxication,
One too many ramifications,
I smoke too much to stun my heart of its beat,
All to avoid the acceptance of defeat.

Problems are associated with you
It's hard to get through
Talking to myself, judging myself and hating myself
So alone without anyone's words of comfort, but oneself

I feel like I want to hurt those who have hurt me.
One too many reasons not to accept their plea
Smoke and mirrors everywhere
One too many reasons not to stay here.

You don’t need to self destruct to get attention
You don’t need to
Hurt yourself
Cut yourself
Starve yourself
Endanger yourself
Sabotage yourself
To get attention

You deserve attention
You’re worth noticing
You’re worth caring for
You are worth them sticking around

Beloved
Will you listen me,
if I speak to you in silence about silence ?

Will you talk to me in silence
when words no longer wake in my mind ?

Will you hear the silence of your heart
which speaks about me to you
or the silence of my heart which sings
the rapsody of our togetherness ?

Will you be the silence I seek in my silence ?
Or Will you be the silence, which silence me silently ?

I chose to sing about me in silence,
for in silence I dont feel any barrier.
But when I chose to read you in silence,
the silence you did offer was not heart warming.

I sit with unquiet mountains
to realize my fondness towards it.
I run with rivers to sense my spirit running before me.
I play with wind to hear the lyrics of my heart.
I lean on trees to listen its stories.

The pleasure I seek in silence
and the agony, you sprayed to
embrace the silence aren't the same.

I then pray with the moon to silent those silences
that wakes in my mind to silence me.

Beloved will you believe me,
if I say, not all silences are same ?

Some silence could break silence
Some silence could heal silence.
And some silence can build silence.

Certainly,
will you buy my words if I say,
not all silence can heal and
not all silence can hurt ?

Also, will you let me to listen
your silence, this time
to handle your heart ?

Will you, my love ?

I keep hearing the question, 
“would you speak to a friend like that?” 
No, I would not. 

But

friend? What friend? Were we supposed 
to be friends? I would never befriend 
someone like this. Who suffocates me. 

Who’s so toxic I’ve caught ***** in my 
throat, eroding my will to breathe. Who 
wields a heavy fist and punishes with 
violence. Who lights silences with flames. 

No, you are not my friend.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet