Words don't come to me when I think of you;
They slip through my fingers to this sandy ground.
Perhaps if I knew just exactly who
You were, the words would finally be found.
You are mysterious, but so am I;
You don't show emotion, but then, I don't.
Seeing you come can make me smile wide,
But when you dissolve into mist, I won't.
I only know the numbers in your dreams,
The things you wish, the things you're hoping for
But there's another side to you it seems
Maybe if I look, I will find there's more.
Who knows where our paths may someday lead us?
It's more than I can hope to be in love.

There was just no time.
How could I expect so much
When we had little?
The thought, idea, hope, dies
Because we never can be.

I can do without,
I can get along just fine:
That is my motto.
I can go without you here,
I will be fine without you.

This may not rhyme  
But look closer, maybe      
You will see that the shape            
Intertwines around
And adds shape you never saw                    
Perhaps it is centered on the right                        
And perhaps it's really on the left                        
You don't really care, just like                              
You shouldn't care what I say                              
Early in the morning before I think                      
Very well about anything      
  I think it's a better idea    
To wait until after lunch    
When I can think well
Or, at least, better than  
Very, very early in the morn.          
Be confused.  Be very confused.      
I wish I could play piano better.      
               But the four or five pieces that I used to know
Are difficult to remember sometimes
             Especially when I don't have the sheet music
                         And I just wish I was better than I am.
                           Lines wrap around the crafted words
                                             And I wonder if I'm crazy
                                                 But I obviously am not
                      Because crazy people don't feel like this
                                 If I was crazy, would you know?
                                                           Would you care?
                                                           ­               The degradation of a soul
                                          Slowly
           ­                                                          My Ctrl key gets stuck
                            Maybe that's my problem in life, do you think?
              I thought it would be easier, but it's not
                         I really thought I'd know better once I arrived
                  But it feels like I've never been here before
               Maybe the times before were not as bad
        And the 'experience' I thought I had
Isn't doing me any good at all.
It's getting better though, you know          
And maybe it would have started being easier                            
A long time ago, if I had been polite          
And sensible in the way I treated you            
As it is, all I've done today is rant    
And I'm not sure if it has anything to do                
With you.                                                             ­     
      

But no.

That is what it is like
when somebody loves you
more than you love yourself.
You find you're loving them,
and in loving you trust,
both them and their judgment.

If he loves me for me,
and I love and trust him,
then I should love myself
just the way that I am.

and

I want to be the one
he is deserving of,
and I want to become
the best version of me.

and

It's not just for his sake
that I want to improve.
I'll grow and change for him,
but also for myself.

That is what it is like.

Inspirational;
Death-defying, breath-giving
The choicest of songs
Singing in my chest, alive
And just trying to be heard.

Numbness in my chest
Resisted by my heartbeat
Along with music
Hits against fragility
Shielded by the walls of fear.

I am fire & ice
I am forward motion
I am strength & determination
I am going, going gone.

I am everything you want to see
Focused and pummeling
Going where no others go
I will never stop pushing.


But there's a secret side to me
That you ain't gonna ever see
There's a lie that hides deep in me
That you wouldn't even believe.

I am trying to fight
Straining for a light
I am dying inside
Failed every time I tried.

I'm caving in to pressure
Missing the boat, missing by a mile
Life's beating me a hundred to one
The water over my head gets higher and higher.

So stop if you think I'm perfect
Stop if you think I'm what it's all about
I'm burning, true, burning to ashes
So someone douse me before I burn out.

I put on a show
I give you what you see
You see me through a haze of lies
But the backstage sees the broken me.

I burn from the inside out sometimes
When my heart likes to collapse
But sometimes it's outside in
From this life's raps & taps.

Someone gave me hope once
They told me to keep my chin up
Held me when I was crying
Helped me to get back up.

I've known that when life is harder
When I want to give in to those lies
I can't hide behind myself too long
When they know, it'll be no surprise.

I want to be someone's hope
Someone to warm their heart
I want to give them joy to believe in
Maybe acknowledging my pain is a start.