This was a terrible poem, sorry.
- - -
Prepare yourself for a long note-rant, because I haven't done one in a while:

So there's this guy, I write about him a lot, and I am very much so attracted to him, not in love with him but highly attracted to him. But after doing a lot of thinking -- I mean a LOT of thinking -- I decided that I should leave it alone mostly, because it wasn't going to go anywhere and I wasn't sure I really wanted it to. Then last night I had this really bizarre dream about him, it was part memory combined with other memory infused with desire. And... I was excited about an... opportunity with him that presented itself during this dream, but the situation instead sent me into a panic attack and then I woke up terrified and confused, more so than ever. I never dream anymore so that was really weird.

Then today he wore his glasses and he hasn't worn them in a while, and  I sort of have this thing about eyeglasses and when I snuck into this class he has with some other friends of mine, I couldn't stop staring, so yeah.

~And thus concludes the long note-rant.

I miss playing games.
Welcome back old me.

Feminist professor inspired.

Listening to something you'd probably laugh at. Laugh and do that adorable swint thing you do.

Again, you looked so good. Why am I no longer important?
I love you, and you say you love me... what game are you playing?

I think, I need a drink.

... for I'm already bleeding.

I write nothing. Literally nothing.
This? This is nothing. ...Meh.

I don't know why this happened.
But I hate myself so much right now.
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.
I ******* hate myself, and then I hate myself more for hating myself and "coping."

I hate myself for repeating history and believing promises that are never kept.
I hate myself for loving.
I hate myself for lying to myself.
I am such a stupid, worthless **** up.

I ******* hate myself, but I've never been able to **** myself.
I ******* hate myself for wanting to try to again anyway.

The Poet by SayWeCanFly came on, it prompted the middle stanzas.
Harmonicas <3 (more like music in general, tbh)

(Last stanza is making a reference to me being a dancer, for clarity)

...
So apparently I'm doing a lot of couplets again.

So empty.
Just don't touch me
Just don't talk to me.
I need to find someone who can love me.
I need to stop tormenting myself.

Started of for one person, but by the third line I switched it.
Guess I'm still not okay again then. Awesome.
- - -
Symphonic covers of songs help me breathe... kinda

You...

You stopped telling me to stop.
You stopped giving a ****, so I did too.

The last three quit over the past six years.
Apparently I'm unstable.
Yah, that sounds about right.

I'm the poison in your cup, darling.
Drink me.
- - -
Hahaha, I'm going mad. I'm ****** mad.  >%D

:P
Just another Thursday.

To all my "loved ones."

Idk.

George.

Repetition is apparently back.
I'm so uninspired right now.

Andrew.
Just get out.
Go.
I'm too tired.

Grey. You were wearing grey.
I've always liked the way the color looked on you,
funny though, your eyes are still a breathtaking blue.
- - -
My titles can be so **** irrelevant, huh? ;P

Please stop doing this to me.
I'm clearly not stable enough to handle these games,
so can't we stop playing them?

Short. It's two a.m., what do you want?  :P

Almost a month though... A slice of forever, a very thin one.

I miss you terribly, love.
- - -
No punctuation. If it bothers you,
go **** yourself,
because I miss him so much I'm crying.