An eye within my eye
like a fetus in a womb
It cannot see what I see
for it was created
not for sight but, for lies
like a special child
it was an exceptional eye
like an eye that will stay awake
until the end of time
the time, that is mine
and this time, only mine

-Kaya

society society society
we were so happy
why did you drive us insane
my labeling humanity

we are growing younger
because of your dense behavior
you should have been silent
instead of calling us a failure

what you gain is satisfaction
But, in us
what is lost is compassion
you are blind, you don't see
you don't know, what is reality

you don't speak
because you are afraid
afraid, that you may not be happy
like you are today

-Kaya

You study something you don't have an interest in and you by heart the material to write an exam. You do it well in fear or because you are capable or not because you aren't capable due to circumstances and you forget it the next day.

The process of gaining knowledge should be free.

If schools are really concerned about us getting "educated" then they wouldn't ask for money.
Knowledge is power and power is not something that you have to pay for to attain it. Education must be free, if it's not then it is NOT education.
A person should get educated in a field he/she has an interest in and should not be forced into learning something they do not like. If they are forced then it is NOT education.

This is why I dislike schools but love education. Because they two are completely different things

-K.S.S

dear black bird
with a purple neck
your familiar chirp
cannot be heard
through this glass

- Kaya

Do not laugh
at my blindness
For my eyes, are not
dead and gone,
They are behind you,
all the time
watching your back

-Kaya

You came in like rain
that poured heavily,
washing away the dirt and remains
of the polluted world
but, some despised your presence
for they lacked warmth and security
you made them shiver,
you made them suffer,
when you believed that
you gave them joy
With your pure drops of water

- Kaya

The knife, held by the mother
against an apple
Is know, held by the father
against the mother
What a happy family

-Kaya

In an unjust world,
i stand
In an untrue world,
i breathe
In a desolate world,
i choose to fight
than close my eyes and hope,
for a good night's sleep

-Kaya

I was a ship
You were an ocean
The storm was our home
Your humongous waves
made me tilt, side to side
and every time I did
My heart turned upside down

-Kaya

I sat on a wounded chair
in a room filled with silence
and peace, nobody was there
I spoke to the dead and still
plastics of life, to seek,
love, comfort and care
Caged in my imagination
crowded , I was unaware  
I was not alone,  
I felt a deep stare

-Kaya

I felt like smooth sweet tea
poured into brittle porcelain
it was a sense of, I would say
a guilty, blue satisfaction-
of being consumed by others
I'll be gone, as the empty cup
hits the table, 'ting!' as the
sound strikes the white noise
the windows to the noisy world
all gone, shut again, no more
to my eyes, to my ears, no more
I have become the bitter stain
left on white beautiful porcelain
easy to spot, and wipe the last of me
as I sink into the terrible drain
I shall never be seen again
this time, this is the last change
life is lost to peace, that ends pain

-Kaya

The ceiling was my perfect sky
The fan was my perfect sun
The blazing blades were the rays
I stared and I stared and I stared
With happiness at the false sunshine

-Kaya

It's okay to be the black in the white
and it's okay to be the white in the black
because, without the black,
one cannot define the powers of the white
and without the white,
one cannot define the powers of
the black
The contrast is beautiful
Embrace it, and love the difference

- Kaya

She was dressed in mustard,
on a tall golden chair
She sat before clean,
crisp and clear silverware
around her, nothing mattered
not even the polluted air
she left, nobody noticed
they ask "was she even there"

-Kaya

Can i ever imagine
a place of peace
a place of peace,
where nobody weeps
and live in fearless streets

Can i ever imagine
a place so silent
a place where, nobody cries
a place without lies
and a place where nobody dies

can i ever imagine
going to bed
with no worries
can i ever imagine
being in constant serenity

-Kaya

The back and forth pace
behind the seal to individuality
a blurred plastic vision of a
mystery that could be joy
or utter sadness that maddens
or utter madness that saddens
the very soul of the soul and
the only spark that lives within
this state of mind, now may
remain or may not, on the
other side

- Kaya

"Tomorrow, this time"
  Said I, the next day
"Tomorrow, this time"
  Said I, the next day
  This saying,
  is all that I ever say
  This saying is what,
  Gets me through everyday

  -Kaya

Can I take away the cause
Can I take away the reason
Can I become sane
Can I become the person
I used to be once again?

-Kaya

If you ever tend to ask yourself,
"Why am I always alone?
Why me?"  This is the reason.

Do not worry if you are alone and
everybody ignores you. Because, only
"Birds of a feather flock together" heard
of that? It's just that, your feathers
are rare, beautiful and unique and
nobody else has feathers like you.
You are unique.

-Kaya

Your presence planted
shivers on my bare skin
each shiver, like a needle
piercing deep within

-Kaya

A young heart,
like a fresh wound,
hurts more, when exposed
to the world of sour tongues,
bitter eyes and bland brains

A young heart, hurts
like a healing wound
that stretches to
the demands of life

There's no home,
when you are down
There's no home,
even when you are up

-Kaya

"Dad's broken bicycle"
she pointed, in pity
In his hands
Nothing will stay intact,
Not anything, Not anyone

-Kaya

I never thought
that I would be
able to go a day
without sunshine
It was the kind
of sunshine that
had a heart and
a beautiful mind

-Kaya

It hit me like a 220 pound wave, that swept over and engulfed me. It consumed me but, comforted me. I was unaware of what I felt, what I was supposed to feel and what I was made to feel. The wave I could not face, the wave that made my tongue and bones freeze, the wave that stiffened my muscles, the wave that stocked my lungs with thick healthy mud, there was no room to inhale my happiness and exhale my dejection.
My bones cracked like a startled iceberg, as I was struck and brought back to reality by a ship- another soul brought me back, back to reality, back to the world of changing faces. I froze in the same ocean I was born in. In the shifting realities of the world I felt like a deserted infant sitting still on the shore of a fierce and vicious ocean, commanding it's waves to attack. So it hit me again, again and again like a 220 pound wave, that swept over and engulfed me. Then again, It consumed me but, comforted me. I can always say, that the sea is at war, and we are the waves that sway, that give movement, and give life to the still world.  

- Kaya

Right now, the only thing,
that's keeping me sane
is the sound, of the heavy drops
leaking from the damaged tap

As it falls into the tub
The sound pounds and pounds
on and soaks my hollow head
It drips from the
cracks on my scalp
drip by drip into my mind
My mind is drenched
My thoughts can't swim
There's a tsunami in my mind
a floating disaster
but you can't see

-Kaya

Time is one thing
That I despise
Everyday, I see
New faces, new lives
But the people,
I saw yesterday
exist no where, no more
but in my eyes
They exist no where, no more
But, in the memories that lie
at the back of my mind

-Kaya

I'm in denial of my days death
the day in your eyes,
now all I see are your whites
but no light, there's no light

- Kaya

yellow pages, with thin lines
held stiff, within a black spine
hard to uncover, yet so divine
the pages were empty, but the
smell of them, enlightened
the dusty places, in my mind

i sunk my hollow head, into the book
visionless, there was nothing to look
i sunk my heavy head, into the book
and the smell of rain took-
me away to the land of rain
and brown drenched wood-

the place i loved could only be
visited, through this pocket book
my home will always be between
the yellow pages of your book

-Kaya

As I close my eyes
to free myself from the suffering
of the external world
everything stops except
for the sound that
we don't hear during the day,
the tick tock,
The one that follows another, tick tock
I can hear it again,
again, again and again
it never stops
for it's the life of the clock
like the soul of a hollow body
life continues, as the needle moves
away from its past
tick tock, tick tock, tick to-

Your presence was like
3 beats per second on a drum,
each beat cleansed me,
the beginning of each beat
was the beginning of a new breath,

a breath that would be born
but would never die
you made me breathless
but somehow, and for some reason
it just made me feel more alive

-Kaya

It was hollow, and blue
with light leaks of black surrounding
circles of sun light, peaking through
to say "Hello", there were too many
I couldn't respond, I could not see you

It was hollow, and blue
strange, I see no light at the end
But I see a mirror, reflecting the past
that stood behind me,
to get through, I must get closer to
the mirror that reflects my past

It was hollow, and blue
with no light leaks of black surrounding
circles of sunlight, peaking through
I still don't have the courage
to get through, to get to you

- Kaya

Is this real life? or is this just a dream?
should i pinch myself really hard so that i can wake myself up?
If this isn't real life, then man, this must be a very long and sad dream. I can't help but convince myself that this is just a dream, because this life.. or dream, is just too strange to experience, i don't know if i want to get out of it or stay in it, what if the "real life" is worse than the "dream" i'm in right now? what if life is just a dream? what if there's a whole new world of happiness that i'm missing out on?

-Kaya

Today I wanted to step out
Today I wanted my feet
to feel the heat
of the blazing sun
I wanted them to burn
with goodness, I wanted
them to burn, creating thrill
and a new me

-Kaya

Stars are the eyes of the sky,
I look up to them
they look down on me
It's just us

"Just a few more hours
and the day will chase them away"
I think, from time to time
Oh, I'd do anything to put
this thought away

The sun will rise
and my only company will die
But, I will keep my eyes closed
and stay alone through
the brightest hours of the day
and I will only open them, when
they rise from the dead
as darkness comes our way


"There's nothing as beautiful as a black sky full of white stars"
I say to myself, every time
the night goes away

- Kaya

The needle
Completes a second

The needle
Completes a minute

The needle
Completes an hour

The needle
Completes and completes

Until the clock stops
Until silence arises,

the last tick tock

-Kaya

let the disgust hide within
the transparent shells
of white crusty sin

They can see through
my dusty muddled skin
but cannot, of what is
engraved deep within

These shells, they are
fragile and blue
and in deep denial
that they belong to you

These shells, they do not crack
they grow old, to only
reminisce and bite your back

-Kaya

Clear layers on my eye
each possess a soul that
once lived exposed, just to die
the blood of the layer
attracted to guilt,
left the layers soul
to crumble and drift

each layer, gone, in a blink
they vanish, to the past
to a place where the life
we used to live cannot be unseen

now you have nothing
but a naked eye
exposed, just to die
now you have nothing
but a naked eye
that lived layers of a lie

-Kaya

I could feel the tension
I could feel all the blood in me
settling to the bottom, within my feet
my feet, now red, under pressure
pulling me down, I could not seem
to fight the weight that was
pulling me down, down and down

my feet now full, now red, like a bucket
full of water, ready to spill, ready to give way
my feet now ready to burst and set free
the tensed blood for once and for all

-Kaya

A war above our heads
but we sit with a cup of coffee
as children play around
with paper boats and jump
in joy in muddy puddles
Who am I, in these
million strands of rain
I ask, from time to time
I do enjoy the blues and greys
I do enjoy the sad ways

-Kaya

Its too late
the only thing
i can depend on now,
is fate
never knew,
all my thoughts
could be erased
like words,
written on a slate
now all the things
that have turned black
are the things i thought
that would be great
all i can do now,
is be still in silence
and wait,
wait for the day
when i say,
that it's not too late

-Kaya

The hands that haven't held
The legs that haven't walked
The skin that has never felt
The eyes that couldn't see
The ears that couldn't hear

I owned the mouth that never spoke,
filled with words hidden behind lips
that filled my throat
but, I couldn't speak
the last and only thing I felt
was the awful feeling
of being choked
whenever I spoke
I was creature with no energy
just like a flower with no petals
I wasn't able to bloom
I wasn't able to grow  

- Kaya

I'm glad to have history to look back on
I'm glad my heart did not pass in the last
minute of my life that I created,
It was an unpleasant thrill to live
and let go and to live again just
to look back on how I did not let go,

I am the heart to my heart
"I cannot live without you
and you cannot live without me"
said my heart, through its cracks

I promise, I heard it within the spaces
of each beat, I heard it whisper 'don't go'

- Kaya

you see, my dear
I'm familiar- with
shedding a tear
and so my vision
is blurred, and
to me, the world
is not crystal clear

-Kaya

***** Tuesday, I write to you,

this time, help me stay afloat in this pool of life

for I, I can't swim being a messenger for my head

and my feet, I am parting - I'm parting for two escapes,

I'm parting - to put myself together,  

now tell me ***** Wednesday, what's in store 

Do I need to write to you as well, again?



- Kaya

It was like the shift
from noisy waves
to silent streams
that flow smoothly
over the calm chaos

The waves now have
settled to silent streams
with sunken ships
from the strong damage

-Kaya