Planted with love,
watered by compassion,
fertilized with the light of our presence.
But it was all an illusion,
for the it was planted in betrayal,
watered with disappointments,
fertilized with lies
and maintained by fakes.
Our roses were red,
but now they are dead.
Weak and brittle petals,
crumbling beneath my feet.
Once upon a time
I was sweet, soft and bright
Now I am dry, hard and dark
When did I stop looking at the sky,
chasing the warm sensuality
and start slouching to the ground.
Hue and texture are no longer the same,
my thorns have been magnified
with the petals of my love
crumbled and withered away.
I am no longer the same.
Like the rose was our love,
watered with the best of selves,
soaked in the light of our presence;
flourishing and blooming.
But now memories are crumbling
and our love is withering and fading.
A dead rose is the only remainder
from a life of beauty and admiration.
Now we love in the shadows
and stolen whispers
of the weak and brittle petals
Save the love and memories, that these petals now carry
"Let me see if I understand this
you're refusing my God-bless-you
because you only coughed?"
how does one live
knowing there is nothing they can say
to scare away pain
their words are weak and brittle
yet they say them all the same
Do you know me?
I grew up without a mother
She left when my oldest sister was three
Even when my sister was close to dying
She spent money on drugs instead of for flying
I hated my dad for keeping us away from her when I was little
When I was 16 I realized she was brittle
When it was my sister's graduation day
They talked for one minute because she had nothing to say
She told my dad that she was going to move out here
A year later and she's not even here
She gave my hopes up
So much that it felt like a breakup
She asked my dad when I was born
That pierced my heart with thousands of thorns
Does she even deserve the title mother
When she lies one after another
At the time it seemed easier to run away
Than to fix our differences and just stay.
It has shaped me into the person that I am today,
But I know my damage cannot be fixed with everything that I say.
I understand the damage I made cuts further than what meets the eye,
Believe me I’ve experienced this first-hand so by now I realize
That nothing good can come from these brittle lies.
I am sorry.
Just as I have had toxic people in my life, I’ll be the first to admit that I was once toxic in someone else’s.
Why am I here again
Same situation that I've always been
There's no escape for me
Always tempted to fall back and sin
And it feels as if
The devil has a hold of me
Feels like his grip is at my throat
And nothing's going to set me free
And I find myself
Talking to this mirror again
Its reflection looks so brittle
Like it's going to break from all the pain
And I'll... Whisper its name
So only it can hear me
I'll lie to it again
because I know it'll believe me
I'll try to smile
And say everything's okay
Keep looking at that mirror
Pretend I'm better off than yesterday
And maybe I am
Soon I will believe it
One day I will leave it all behind
Rip this sorrow off and then just leave it
But for now, all I can do
Is keep talking to this mirror
Even though I hate myself
And just hope the current me
I’ll still talk to it in whispers
So only I can hear me
Begging the devil to let go of me
Why God just won't come near me
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and had to lie to yourself pretending everything was ok?
Red hand-picked cherries
leave behind a residue
on smudged, brittle lips.