I am not me like what you want me to be
I am here like you always wanted me to be
How could I ever be me, the me I want to be
I’m tired of you, tired of crying in the dark.
pretending at the park
- watching people talk with voices that barks
I feared it will spark an awful reaction stark
So I build an ark -
Sailed away into far,
far - dream land
where prejudice & judgment is not in our hands
but in the all caring higher being's commands.
Then again reality is never like that,
So I hide, I stumble, and I fall
into the gray solace of my patience
The higher being cares, yet you need choices
to stay strong - fight and survived
until blessings comes along
and heal the dying soulful song.
Old notes: "a positive poem I guess - i am not sure it's worth posting. Since the month of June, i became sickly... and i have lost my pen of expression and the courage to write a piece. I always lose confidence, lose my self-knowing that i can... lose everything all together to the overly sensitive soul, then fall into darkness, alone - then come back into the gray solace - never wanting to give up what i hope will come true, someday, somewhere in time."
now looking back at this note and re-reading this poem again, then posting it here, i realized that my driving force in writing is my emotional self, on which right now i feel dull, seems like im losing my will to write, and to cope up with realities barricades...
thanks for reading... hoping you and I can find something in this piece, something good, something nice, something positive to move forward to...