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Pax Dec 2015
The fringes of fate frozen my fingers upon reaching you

………But destiny’s hands are within my grasp…

Then I used my mind’s free will to take hold of it and reach you

Together I’ve achieved fulfilling joy with you at my side

.....…towards a journey to Contentment’s path…

September 25, 2012
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1042743/
This was one of those poems that I am happy to say, I didn't write a sad poem today. That's what I say last time, been very busy as of lately...
Pax Feb 2017
Most corrupt people
are already rich,
their hunger is much
harder to satisfy.

*


© 2013
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1256386/

I believed in Karma
But often times I think many powerful people has avoid it
By merely starving the hungry.
Karma is good, yet it takes time, longer or shorter it may seems…
It always starts in small doses.
Pax Nov 2024
I should have sent my love letters to Cupid
And ask Destiny for the right time.
Yet stubborn as I am, I remain still…

Some loves are too shallow for me to dive into
So, I remain in the shoreline,
always testing the waters…
never got to dive deep....
Pax Oct 2014

In my darkest days, I held you beneath my warmth.
You indulged me with your feverish hunger.
You embraced me with your piercing emotions.
You were immune to my changeable disease.

I came to a realization that you were my muse,
the best rainbow I received……….

You told me that I was part of your soul.
To me you’re the fuel to my rusty engine,
The energy to my thirsty being,
And the light of my darkened soul.


© Pax
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1031383/
Pax Jan 2017
my writings are my own darkness,
my own little room  -
its a lonesome
space.

in here i crouch
and see the nothingness
as i drown myself
in the stillness it brings
and the numbing
silence
i surrender...


@pax
Pax Oct 2016
i lean in to the darkness
inside of me
not to the people
that give it to me.
Darkness I : https://www.instagram.com/p/BK3eU5OjY9w/?taken-by=willyampax
Pax Nov 2016
My heart fell
from the sky
down to the
darkness
it fall.

Now i got used
to not seeing
much of
anything
despite
the dimness
of the faint light
i still have.
part of my darkness series.
Darkness II :
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1778759/darkness-ii/
Pax Nov 2016
is there a hole
in this shadow
of deep darkness,
so that
i can just crawl
myself into
and get out of
this mess.
raw. my darkness series.
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1804662/darkness-iii/
thank you for reading.
Pax Oct 2013
What is right from wrong?
What is worth keeping from what’s meant releasing?

From a dark veil you hide
Obligated, you abide
A silent prison you call home
That’s life in this dome

Wield by a strong patrol
Withheld by unyielding control

Flying has a price
It always has, a bounty to arise

Dominated,
Cultivated,
Motivated
By a driven force
Subside our hunger course
From the will to adapt
For what’s just right, we tap.














.
.
.
:my Quotes:
Some things are our guidance, but it doesn’t meant to withheld us from swimming.

*© Pax
i think this link will explain what is meant by this piece
here: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1242562/
Pax Jun 2014
Damnation of the Mind
In Society’s eyes, I commit a Crime.

Freedom mistook as a Sin
“For I’m always right”, says the Red Queen.

I scattered my scrappy writes
In this forest full of lies

I am as good as dead
For I am never needed
Naked to the bone
A far away star, I am alone.

“I am your salvation”, says the Holy King
I oblige for that’s what I think is right, Lamenting
Oh, Holy king, I can’t stop wondering
The man made crisis keeps on repeating
Driven by powerful Need
They hunger for what they don’t Need

I am in a brink of exhaustion
Many hides in the facade of beautiful illusion
Creation for an easy solution

Abundance is slowly fading
Our soulful purity is slowly dying.

*© Pax
Pax Mar 2017
I've saved you once
Yet i wouldn't say it
You may not remember
But i would
You may forget me &
I may forgot your name
Still the deed was done
& the vibrant effects
Lingering like it was yesterday
I'll always remember.

About a good deed we may forgot, but sometimes it lingers, an essential good nature you always have in your heart.
Pax Apr 2017
I've driven myself in
to the valley of deserted
Tears.

To where it's too hot,
while living is an isolation.

There's no river nor
lush forest around,
its as dry as the desert
sands, then humidity
strikes your nerves
that you'll feel
overcooked.

The crimson sky
Bleeds of its inking
Beauty...

I on the other hand
solidify my strength
to ease the burden
I carry, as i lift myself
Little by little towards
A meaningful step
For SURVIVAL!

© pax
I wrote this as a means to remind myself for the beauty of life.
Pax Apr 2018
You were the dimlit star
I am trying to reach.

You've lost much
of your glow
how I wish
my light would reach you, and
teach you
     that in life
you're ever so beautiful.

How the harsh words of the world
barricades you soft spoken heart
into stones.
thank you all in reading my lightly lit star in my so dim world.

ive secluded much of my world into the four corners of my home, hated to see how harsh can the world judge me. also hated this part of me, a coward. I needed to remind myself of this feeling to move forward even a little step will do.
Pax Jul 2017
your disability is never your weakness,
its your greatest motivation
in finding
the strength
within...
just a quick reminders....
a quote
Pax Jan 2016
Doors*  *in the empty Twilight.
I am just a single step away,
Yet never finding the courage
               to just open one of them.


Possibilities…

*A thousand sighs as I wait.
I stood still, as I hold into the moments,
Looking, looking, & still looking…

All I wanted is a flickering sign
For me to barge in
without any hesitation
and bleed in accord to whatever
    outcomes that lays within.
there are some doors that you cannot just barge in and take the leap of faith or in our dialect "bahala na". Sometimes you needed to understand it more of what's out there, and feel if its the right time, that you are ready no matter what....


http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1406321/
Pax Sep 2018
I fall into the deepest dream.
Hug by darkness, i give in.
Then by miracle i was torn
to be reborn.
it's been long...
Pax Feb 2021
Death is lurking within,
have you given up on me?

Oh, sky, have mercy to
those who stop dreaming
...
Raw feelings
The unintentional reply to my old piece
https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1336541/
Pax Jul 2024
Here I am
Dream-Walking
of a farfetch reality
----
It
was
good
sometimes they call it - lucid dreams. I can't say I have those, because whenever i wake up, it will just be lost in though as you get back to reality. Before i tried writing it down but then i just lost it, and never caring anymore, maybe because some of it has some bad endings. It appears more frequent than the good ones. I like these dreams, its like i am living a different life, wearing someone else's body, and living a totally farbending reality. You can say some of it is futuristics and some reoccuring horror stuff like zombies, i don't know why, i stop watching those series long before, haha.. Now you've reach this point on the authors note,  and i thank you for lestining. and one last point, a dream is just a dream, never lose your touch to reality.
Pax Mar 2016
i leave droplets of tears,
whenever &
whatever
i write
...
.

perhaps ....
Ego
Pax Oct 2016
Ego
Our humanity has nothing
To do with your ego...*


@pax
A quick shout out...
another day at the office.
Pax Jun 2014
Gravity, Gravity, Gravity pulls me away,
Heading, Heading, Heading towards uncertain ways.
Answers are distance apart, too weary worry.

Leave me be, emotions sickness.
You are my pure weakness.

The hologram memories,
Bleeds haunting entries,
Triggered by many entities.

Sometimes it’s just too much
   with just one touch,
Cravings comes in a rush,
   fragile heart being crush.

Knowing you, I must arise
   in the dawn of sunrise.
I raise my hope to be able to cope,
to stop the lasting loop of this urging dope.


*© Pax
Pax Apr 2020
Why do i feel much and yet experience so little.
Perhaps its been a Curse, being to sensitive at times...
Pax Feb 2016
before you'll able
to help
others...

understand your
pain first and
confide
to
your
inner
being...

upon listening
you'll reflect
your own,
by then
you can
be connected
to their heart strings...

empathy is a blessing
as it is a burden.
it hurts you more
than it pains them...

just stay
on a steady
phase,
then you'll be
okay...
it feels like i just translated what empathy means... just in my own words, my own way of understanding...
Pax Dec 2015
As empty as it gets,
I stare and feel the color embrace me.
The abstract feelings that wanted to
come out yet still trapped within me.

I stare on the blank canvas,
Feeling the courage fading,
Losing my mind into vivid colors
      -   Just in thoughts…
Not being able to express them
Is just like making myself aware
that I have no talent in what so ever…

Did I lose my confidence that seeks?
Did I lose the passion that burns?
Did I lose my heart that shines?

Perhaps the cloud of doubt
    blurs many things…

Perhaps the road of uncertainties
    confuses many decisions…

Perhaps the water of creation
    is running dry…

I am losing myself,
     almost giving-up into death’s hands…

Yet…

I won’t give up,
Mastering the strength of what’s left
To find the muse of life
To keep me going a lifetime…

I owe the inspiration of this piece to this photo:
I can't paint by aartishinde in deviantart


It is what I feel when I can't be creative, there is this urge to create within me or within us all. I think every artist knows that. It's been long, I haven't drawn or paint, I guess i really missed that.
----

Its a old piece, just wanted to share to you all, share the feeling when you thought your running dry on inspiration. Please don't give up your dream.
Pax Jan 2016
what is enough
when you crave so much
?

shout-out!
Pax Apr 2018
You've enslaved my heart
before I could ever say
I'm willing.
a quote

I want to say my thanks to my long time friend beth by saying this: your writing searches for truth from our deepest wells of feeling.
Pax Mar 2015

More Structure, Bald Nature.
Intelligences without a Heart of Conscience.
Lost in the battle of Negligence.

4th piece of the series...
all my pieces are just my observation, i can be wrong or right, totally depends on how you see what's around you. Pondering in Rhyme...
tell me what you think?

Thanks to all for reading...
Pax Mar 2018
At most insecurities defines every envy.
a quote, 6w.

not sure either ill come back or not, writing seems so far away. my darkness keeps invading. life's darkness its weakening my defences..

I truly wish everyone is okay here and doing fine.
Pax May 2018
My life is a stroke of luck
in order to have a good life,
Ive sacrifice the blooming
Scent of lotus
Never having
Never falling
only taking
Comfort on the
Sidelines and
Shadowy shelters,
Seems happiness
has evaded me....
I leave with this quote of mine as a reminder for me:

The thing about waiting is
it takes much longer
since from the start
you never make a move.
Pax Feb 2017
We've lived to expressed those wonders
we thought and felt,
in the depths of our emotional journey,  
our words sours
in highs and lows.
-
a fine balance
at crucial times
equally stable
in fate and its tales.
-
essence of time
solidify our strength
through choices predicts our
future yet more often
never to the exact extent.
-
our old sheets may fade
and our ink might run dry
we should never
lose ourselves
even the smallest
drop of hope
creates big ripples.

Pax Jul 2014
Trap in an isolated era.
View me as faceless persona
Of make-belief identities
In this world filled with fantasies.

I write because I am tired,
To pen the burden in this poet’s ride.



*© Pax
Pax Mar 2020
A repetitive omen
that we learn to avoid
over time.
Still bad at it, but im Learning though it takes time, patience is all i have.
Pax Jan 2016
I'm so fond with my failures
that I tend to forget
the little good
things I
achieved.
So
its time to
stop loving them
and let go
...
.

a reminder,
a quote
...


https://www.instagram.com/p/5HSBQjLpSU/?taken-by=willyampax
Pax Mar 2015

No bad deeds goes unpaid
strings of fate, never lose its raid.

a shout-out, tired, played to be a fool.
I've been played by my employer.
Manipulative and such a liar.
AS OF THE MOMENT I HATE MY LIFE
i'LL BE BACK WHEN THIS ANGER SUBSIDE...
Pax Jun 2018
Doesn't matter who
come first in your heart
as long as I was the one
who stayed
true to my love
for you.

you were never
alone...
first love only last as long as you stayed true to your love. sometimes the heart gets tired, it weathers as you stop nourishing its root - neglect and broken trust, a heart can die.

thanks for reading.
Pax Jul 2024
Doesn't matter who
came first in your heart
as long as I was the one
who stayed
true to my love
for you.

you were never
alone...
.a quote.
first love only last as long as you stayed true to your love. sometimes the heart gets tired, it weathers as you stop nourishing its root - neglect and broken trust, a heart can die.

this one was on my draft since Jun 2018, i guess i was hesitant in sharing this because my one true love never came or appeared, its lonesome but it doesnt matter anymore. Like they say love will always arrive no matter how late.
Pax Nov 2023
I bleed to produce seed
for my flower bed of creed
yet the flowers I need
didn’t grow, instead unwanted weeds
flourish as it dirtied my deeds
upon deeds of neglect, I heed.
It started to be play with words, that eventually evolved into what you read.
words: Bleed, Seed, ****, Creed, Deed, Heed.
Pax Jun 2015
I stop counting my blessing
And start just being thankful
Of each passing day.

I may not be lucky in love
Or blessed with good things
Or great looks LIFE has to offer
But I am fortunate enough to live this LIFE
As good as I wanted it to be.
.A QUOTE.
We are still fortunate. Just me, being optimistic about my life, a start of my new aging life, another year of living a new age. Be thankful.
Pax Feb 2017
The stronger the obstacles,
The greater the will to Pursue it.
I can't find a word to describe this feeling, is it eagerness or will or perseverance or willingness or wishes to pursue it...

This is just a sudden thought of realization between our human nature, i guess this is a common occurrence in life or goal or love or work depending on each situation.
Pax Apr 2020
i took a peek, then never again.

What's beyond that window
Lies a curse i did, a sacrifice
I took and a burden i carry.

Goodbye lullaby, as i sleep
soundly towards the end.
Promptly written while watching my window.
Pax Jun 2014
The beautiful entity that hides in the walls of insecurities,
Drenched in septic opinions.
Purity in a brink of lost from the influence of invisible fears,
Drowning, almost - breathless
Little bit of innocence and its essence, survived!
Making life still worthwhile.


*© Pax
Pax Mar 2017
I am not me like what you want me to be
        I am here like you always wanted me to be
How could I ever be me, the me I want to be

I’m tired of you, tired of crying in the dark.
pretending at the park
                - watching people talk with voices that barks
I feared it will spark an awful reaction stark
So I build an ark -
Sailed away into far,
                      far - dream land
where prejudice & judgment is not in our hands
but in the all caring higher being's commands.

Then again reality is never like that,
So I hide, I stumble, and I fall
     into the gray solace of my patience
The higher being cares, yet you need choices
to stay strong - fight and survived
                        until blessings comes along
                                and heal the dying soulful song.

© 2013
Old notes: "a positive poem I guess - i am not sure it's worth posting. Since the month of June, i became sickly... and i have lost my pen of expression and the courage to write a piece. I always lose confidence, lose my self-knowing that i can... lose everything all together to the overly sensitive soul, then fall into darkness, alone - then come back into the gray solace - never wanting to give up what i hope will come true, someday, somewhere in time."

now looking back at this note and re-reading this poem again, then posting it here, i realized that my driving force in writing is my emotional self, on which right now i feel dull, seems like im losing my will to write, and to cope up with realities barricades...

thanks for reading... hoping you and I can find something in this piece, something good, something nice, something positive to move forward to...
Pax Nov 2017
My life is not fair and square
it's round and grounded.
Hello my friends sorry for being away, for the past previous months i was busy transferring my things exiting saudi arabia... Now im back here in the Philippines finally, its good to be home and the bad thing is im jobless for the mean time which is challenging considering our country's situation as usual.. Thanks for reading...
Pax Mar 2015

Experiences make us wiser,
Learning makes us smarter
All must coincides together
with an open mind to ponder
and a good heart to wonder
--  balancing from right and wrong
  We gain rooms for change
                and more storage
                            to process
      the increasing progress.

With all that often times we waste something good to needful things.

this was part of a one long poem, like the drop of life, decided to share it one by one, starting with growth.
Pax Jun 2013
I buried the star so far as I assumed  it’s dead
My heart turns into shadows of dread
My mind is eating stale bread
Putrid flesh, a cold mess
Depressed

Illusional thoughts perceptional disease it brought
Nothing but endless drought

A part of me has died and the other is alive
The dead and the living
survive

I cried and I tried
the might I must master to hold-on tight
but I lost my grip and fall into a trip
deep within the hallows of my demons


*© Pax
my demons are my anxieties i am trying to overcome....
that is why i am draw to the lyrics of Florence + the machine - shake it out
it said : looking for heaven found the devil in me....
Pax Feb 2016

I am a terrible liar,
no matter how thick
my masks are...

In this land
I feel out of place.

It's hard when
you're often misunderstood.
I just let it be
succumbing to my faults,
to my insecurities,
to my doubts & fears...

I breathe-in the toxic air
and breathe-it-out...
No matter how much
you cleanse the air
that comes,
when you're
stained
it leaves a scar
that's hard to heal.
Then everything comes
to a choice,
**** or be ******.

I have been good
so far...
Letting the river
flows,
never got to swim back
or even fight
the rushing currents.
Pretending to swim is
easy.

In the end,
life is  been
good,
despite happiness
is just a mask.


In this land#3

perhaps this is the last part of the stream of thoughts.
thanks for reading me.
Pax Nov 2015
I tried to stop being depress,
and start making friends.
But then…
I build too many walls,
Just to hide my flaws
always fearing they’ll crumble.
And...
In the end I can’t stop my thoughts
when I’m alone, reoccurring questions it sought.
Burdens comes falling,
Rushing like the tide, washing
pushing away
the happy mask
I wore.
I haven't been writing much as of late. Maybe because like the first two lines said. Yes, I did make some friends and bond with them. It's great being able to joke around and laugh here and there... But I know deep down I still built too many walls, they can't see what's there, Perhaps I am too good in wearing this mask, that some people didn't see what's lurking behind it.
Pax Apr 2017
I don't want my life to be
amazing, i just want it
to be happy...
Aren't we all want this? there are some happiness that are short, some takes longer, and some never arrive at all. There are some happiness that  are amazing or simple - big or small... I guess my happiness didn't arrive yet, as i am a late bloomer or very much reserved to the point of being afraid... im still overcoming that.. this thought/quote sprang to mind thinking i don't want an amazing life, with all the luxury or many amazing achievements, i just want to be loved and to love back in the simplest way of life, but i guess its still too much to asked. :(
Pax Apr 2015
I love the idea of someone will be there for me
Yet in reality, I doubt it to be.
Truth that I knew so well
That I am hard to love seems no one can tell.
...sometimes this is what i know...
Pax Oct 2015

Heart is blind without the mind to imagine
Yet the Heart is alive and it beats that speaks our soul
Heart does not function alone
But it's the Center of it all.

Our mind unites the five senses
---------------------------------------------------------­---------
The mind process what it hears
The mind creates what it sees
The mind evaluates what it smells
The mind appraises what it tastes
The mind senses whatever the body touches
The mind is only a machine without its core.
----------------------------------------------------------­---------
Heart and Mind connect
Because it's the most important to protect
It's a bond that is part of us ever since we were born
-----------------------------------------------------------­--------
                                                    It beats our fear
                                                     It beats our pain
                                                     It beats our sorrow
Our heart is our soul                    It beats our excitement
Where emotions are stored          It beats our pleasure
                                                     It beats our passion
                                                     It beats our love
-----------------------------------------------------------­----------
It speaks in silence
The mind only speaks what the heart tells
They communicate with a language that is unknown

The mind is neither good nor evil
But the heart is capable of being good or evil
The heart is capable of anything that speaks our nature
Even if your heart is dark as the darkest night
Another heart will give flame to start a light
A flame that will serve as light in your darkest night
This is how I perceived the mind and heart on how they work.

see the link below on how was it inspired.
http://willyampax.deviantart.com/art/Heart-isn-t-Alone-296733115

thank you so much for reading.
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