maybe if I try to write, I would feel sincerity again, drowning into the pages and lines of truths and fallacies, maybe if I learn how to dance, all doubts will shed along with pain, maybe if I sing a song, I can compose and express but not to please maybe if I paint an artwork, I would accept having you as my lovely subject, in sceneries of memories, at the stroke of tender nostalgia maybe if I interfere in the duel of both my mind and heart, one takes over freely and I venture a new start.
but who am I to even stand armor-less, battling against the uncertainties?
Oh how I love the ambiguity of the word ‘sea’: It could mean lovely serenity, otherwise destructive tsunamis; It embodies both abundance of peace, and/or luxuriance of lonesomeness; It deceits us through its luring crystalline waters with the deathly depths we’re unaware of.
I wished to start over. Love become to much. For my taste. I left the past behind. Along with it. My uncertainties. Life become simpler.
As everyone knows. It won’t remain. For long.
You made a move. Without my knowledge. It felt unreal. Things become certain again. Love blossomed. Though tough times we faced. It felt good.
As everyone knows. Even happiness. Doesn’t last. Long.
Distance become your forte. Silence your words. Your mind else where. Heartache approached. From no where. When questioned. Answers become clear. With reasons unforeseen. Love still in the mist. But uncertainties over took you. And gave us its end.
You are the love I found. And. I am your love you gave away.
In the shadowy, silent street I walk The darkness of the night engulfs my spirit Like the soddy soils covering the rock’s Brilliant colour of ruby, red passion. The daring dreams for the future Has caused my soulful eyes to ashen- Blinded by the present reality- The dreams begin to fade.
In the shadowy, silent street I walk The mind has lost its mentality And strength to wade Through the current bleakness of life. The midnight shadows of the street Have caused me to lose sight. Can the faith of the heart bring light?
In the shadowy, silent street I walk The cicadas buzz bitterly in the quiet street, Stirring memories of mundane voices That has caused me to cheat Myself from making personal choices. I cry silently in despair For fear has swept my sense of direction.
In the shadowy, silent street I walk A distant street lamp lit up the solemn street Providing me with a sense of protection The heart burns with a passionate heat Providing strength for my body to move with affection Towards the mystery of the shadowy, silent street.
(c)2018 Joanne Chang
Sometimes in life we can feel lost with the direction of life we must go. Life can be full of insecurities. I hope this pain can reflect these uncertainties.