He is her mirror,
The one she stands before
Whether things are good or bad.
Until she walks away,
She doesn’t understand
The cracks spreading
Across her face,
Ignoring the obvious
She applies more makeup.
Though she’s gone,
Her presence lingers,
Soon to follow.

In front of her mirror,
She could speak as freely
As she wanted,
Be seen for who she is.
In front of family and friends,
She’s quiet,
Acting out of appearance,
Ignoring the space, she thought
Was empty.

She doesn’t think about it
Until a friend brings it up.
Talking about her own love life,
A place she feels secure.
Her friend’s smile, big and bright,
While she speaks.
She thinks of him,
Her mirror.
No matter how bad she feels.
He finds a way
To make her feel better.
If something is off,
He’s quick to point it out.
He’s always there when
She needs him.
She never had to speak
To be seen when he was around.
The only place she only felt whole.
The cracks on her face shows

How clumsy of me;
to sit straight up with attentive ears
The vulnerably of giving what's missed
Mistaken as misplaced.
I liked this clumsy side of me
Lopsided stumbles, a bit more reckless
This constant fumble
Definitely generous; mistaking kindness as guilt
A sense of being misplaced
How clumsy of you to drop something so precious
When all along did you ever want it
That sudden pain that wraps around your chest; manic
A sudden throb that complicates the slightest of gesture
How clumsy of me to misplace everything where I thought I would find it
Again hoping sufficient in empathy
How clumsy of me

Rendered helpless
Searching for sincere apology
When in reality it was me

 

with unsteady tender

The tires hum over the street.
echoing between the other cars.
finding their way into the trees.
just you and me, the wind blowing in through the window.
Anything to get out of the house.
every mile we travel I am more at peace,
that I am not alone.
I am glad that you called me before I got in the car.
The neck strap that holds my work badge
Dangling back and forth from the rearview mirror.
nowhere in particular to be.
no particular place comes to mind.
It feels good to have you beside me.
the radio down low, lost in conversation.
old memories becoming new.
Your arm slightly bent resting on the car door.
every bump that we hit, the loose change in the cup holder rattles.
just you and me. no particular place to be.
no particular place in mind.
We can stop anywhere that catches your eye.
I made sure to fill the tank up before I stopped to get you.
anything just to get out of the house.
I am glad that you were able to take this ride with me.

I revere you when I lay in your grove
I am but in an infinity of comfort.
Sealed in open space,
It is in this grove I am found.
I dance in the graduation of being.
Being there,
The expansion of reverence.
A love affair in complete darkness
Before the height of merchant eyes,
Peeking over the horizon.
This moment becoming more precious, more scarce.
I revere you in the occasion that we are firmly planted in the ground.
Just below the grove I am laid
Just below the surface we are rooted.
We are felt.
Our survival depends on it.
Without you I cannot begin to exist

And like a child
You have lifted me high above
With both hands.
I am weightless in my search,
Finding that my world revolves around you.
My every fear put to ease &
Like a child I am drawn to you without
a care in the world.
Finding that I am much taller, held up high in your arms.
My heart raising in unconditional love.
There is no fear when you are around.
I have put all my trust in you without realizing what trust is.
Your name most meaningful each time
it passes through my lips.
My eyes much wider, staring at you with such anticipation.
The way you pick me up when I am down
Without fear of falling

Black and blue striped leggings,
A small white shirt with dangling hoop earrings.
This is what she wore on a good day in my mind.
Quite the opposite of what I saw when I opened my eyes.
Watching the moon sail across a ocean of stars, the brilliance of stars.
A everlasting testimony.
Regardless the size of the waves that come crashing down.
She shone the brightest.
In a language thats misunderstood all around the world, would she understand mine.
To participate in such tutelage, what joy did I hope to accomplish.
Searching the inside of my eyes,
Considering the brightest twinkle in the sky the wink of her eye.
Releasing the silence of fear in a hopeful sigh.
Without hope of the day, I kept her hidden in my dreams.
Soon realizing the crash course of broken dreams, waking up just before the good part.
As vivid as she appeared when my eyes were closed I believed anything was possible.
Looking to the stars through a telescope, seeing her as the one that shines the brightest

She moves fast like a city
full of names, things to do,
and places to be.
No matter how fast she moves,
there is always a spot for you.

Regardless of where you go,
not every woman, not every city,
is the same.

She highlights her personality,
the buildings of her priorities,
Her personalities,
like dominos
uncovered and placed strategically.

The way she was raised,
the not so pretty parts,
Behind the well known parts
of her,
not necessarily put away.
But still, there is a place for you.
Whether it's a quiet night in,
or an event organized
to get to know each other better,
the margins of her heart beat for you
Between the counties.

Although she moves fast,
and one day with her varies from the next,
she's not afraid to let you know that she's busy.
Once she handles all of her business,
be ready to catch up on all that missed time.

But don't forget
she doesn't just find the time
to call or text.
She shows up.
You too are a part of her world

Sweet & delicate.
Warm to the taste. The thought alone drives me insane.
Before I can finish one I am already reaching for another one.
I am not myself.
I am addicted to the sensation. Each tender morsel, every crumb that follows.
I need you now, I need you now.
This never ending addiction that propels to new heights.
Your mouth dissolves into mine.
This psychedelic euphoria of transcendence.
There is no jar or wrap or plastic that can keep me away from you.
Your love is all I need.
All I crave. All I could ever phantom. There is no hiding me from you.
No twelve step program that could ever be created by man.
Even my WiFi adores you.
Holding each and every one of your cookies.
I long to devour each and every part of you.
There is no one part of you that is better than the next.
I am desperately ever so devoted to you.
My single reason for living

She was curiously odd
A perfect stranger appearing after complete disaster
An accidental shoulder bump
coincidence to the next moment
She didn't let the world tell her who she was
She just was
She was Godlike in manner
The way she appeared
One moment nothing
The next a gust of wind, fast paced
crammed beneath the echo of feet against concrete
Next thing I knew she was gone

Most times I don't introduce you to the me I'd like you to meet.
Although it's anonymously unintended.
I've revealed the second chance of myself being hurt spiritually.
The experience of life.
All the people who offer beautiful smiles.
The recovering of a familiar face.
The hello of an imperfect flame.
Extinguished by the goodbye of loss.
The smoke left forever to roam.
Never to find it's place.
It becomes habit,
To keep distance.
Constantly moving.
Too scared to let someone new in.
Soon as someone new approaches,
The flame is extinguished & regret sets in.
I close myself off and smother everything around.
Wholeheartedly.
Soon as you get close that's why I pack everything up & run.
As much as you love my scent I am afraid that you'll use me until there is nothing left.
That you'll blow out the spark to everything that I feel is real.
Memories can be beautiful,
And it is for that reason that I cannot allow you to get close.
This fear the only comfort I feel is real

His flower blooms in the wind,
Blossoming each direction the wind blows.
Gracefully tucked in the curled petals of self love, Her love.
His flower is innocent, Her petals lingering with the aroma of her lips.
Devoured by the breeze that swoops pass. Engulfed in passion,
His flower. Her love. Her lips.
His flower exuberantly intellectual.
Her stem a temple of spiritual delight, the way she sways, his flower.
Her leaflets drenched with infatuation, Her love is mute.
A bold splash of violet that speaks louder than any word.
There isn't a perfume sweeter than her fragrance.
The bees that loom around in circles, inebriated from such intoxication.
They fall short of her love, Her lips, his flower.
The thought of her lingers.
Humbling itself at will, he submits to her, his flower.
Mesmerized by such beauty, gentle, soothing.
He longs to be the water his flower needs to grow.
Her love

Once I hated you,
Without understanding the full reason of hating you.
For unexplainable reasons you were always there.
The very same shoulder I leaned my head against when stabbed.
My hate for you began when I looked down and found that it was your hand that held the knife that sunk into my stomach.
The shallow breathing,
The pain that surged through my very being.
Collapsing to the ground crying out for help.
Of all people, of all things.
You were the very least of anyone whom I would have thought.
Hearing your footsteps dissipate in the distance.
Scattering in every direction.
From that point on you showed me the meaning of silence.
The deafening moment of crying out for help only for no one to echo back to a throbbing pain.
Without understanding the full reason, I hated you.
This troubling silence that surrounded me.

Coming to the realization that at this very moment, everything was going to end.
Watching everything I once knew, everything I loved leak out of me.

I laid there soaked in attachment.
Growing numb, looking at the knife lay beside me motionless.
I hated you, but more so myself for handing you that very same knife.
The very same knife that ended up coming back sticking me in the stomach.
Once I hated you without understanding the reason why.
How could you do such a thing.
It wasn't until my head hit the ground that I laid there.

Forced to empty myself on cold pavement.
That I never hated you, for the pain that you thought you caused only made me realize how much strength I really had.

That letting go was essential to stop the suffering.

It wasn't until you stabbed me that I came to the agreement with my former self whom laid there bleeding out
That I never would have learned to see the beauty of everything around me if you never would have stabbed me.
Leaning to breathe again, leaving my former self behind

One of my favorite things about you Is the fact that I still get butterflies whenever you are near.
Don't mistake my silence as a means to push you away or the fact that
I don't have anything to say.
It's just that I am still in complete awe.
That fluid motion that doesn't complicate anything.
That selfishness that has lost track of exactly where our kisses have landed.
But still craves to have more to compensate where the others have went.
That somewhat nervous jitter that occurs with the slightest touch.
Your mouth crashing against mine.
Lost in a tidal wave of tongues.
Cheeks relaxed in steady current.
There is nothing gentle about how well we conduct ourselves, except in the calm before the storm.
A floodgate of teeth raising in euphoria.
Releasing the echo of emotion felt from one body to the next.
A complete unison of waves lost in gentle current.
Our eyes closed in search of the light seen across the wave of tongues.
Watching it fade to black, soon to reappear.
The light that flashes behind our eyes.
An eclipse of heads following each others motion.
Our ears like seashells, resting along the coast of us.
Hearing the sounds, cleansed in the current of waves.
This wave that longs to be near you.
The complete awe of becoming apart of something more than what's presented.
Although expressed physically.
This depth of emotion swims in schools of love.

Her love was like a molotov,
Spreading across everything it touched. manifesting into everything I'd ever know,
Devouring every bit of me in exciting fashion.
I became Drenched in this infatuation without warning,
Gasoline soaked clothes enticed by the flick of a lighter.
I found myself helpless in
this constant flame, grown out at every flicker,  its very touch.
Bright hues of red. Demanding full attention, her love.
I protested my profession in contempt, do I stay,
Do I lay flat and accept the spontaneity of each moment,
Slowly passing.
I held up my sign in an attempt to keep her from crossing the line. A plea of an mistaken cliché, not understanding everything she knew she wanted,
Still she fled towards me,
Leaving me helpless to every whim, every desire she offered.
I stood there lost in desire,
A simple decree of something I've never understood.
This incendiary combustion that took place out of nowhere.
The things said in utter silence,
The sound of who we once were shattering against the ground

Although I've seen, I still do not know.
I could recall but at that very same moment I would become vocally lost.
Connecting to a thought in a world where things are said but randomly heard.
Questioning the matter of things experienced one at a time whether than whole.
Here lies simplicity, fundamental in it's purest form.
Fruit slices that present a good mouth feel, the total embodiment of placing something where nothing once existed. Or was thought not to.
It still invokes thought,
Reason to where, why.
In a different perspective, am I the fruit and you the mouth.
Is there truly a difference in perspective, there isn't a false pretense to either way point. Generally speaking,
discovering a new way to see something seen as natural. Invoking a sense of feel,
This longing that draws us closer to togetherness.
A practice of longing to indulge in desire.
Consistent in nature, pleasant in thought
Constantly looking for things that cannot be found,
As it already exists.
This love that manifests into something seen, or heard.
This piece of fruit couldn't begin to fit in our mouth the way it is,
It's only sensible that it's cut into pieces to digest more easily.
Here lies greed, mistaken for need.
Seeking only because it's there.
Which is you, which am I.
An basic urge displaced in misconception.
Wanting only because it's there

Then there was her; then there was I.
Intangible to loves mystery, running away in thought.
Helpless; I want you to love me.
Your eyes lost forevermore in mine; forever awake in the blink of an eye.
The wells of your eyes drenched in mine.
Cast deep, a bucket tied to a rope.
Overfilled in the cusp of your heart.
In that instance I become selfish.
In the next I become shy; finding the words to tell you how much I love you.
At the expense of hanging on the other end of the rope.
The complexity of something so simple.
Its funny how I am obsessed with the thought of you.
Constantly turning the wheel
Yearning to taste your heart in everlasting bliss.
It comes natural.
To want you to love me.
Then there was her; then there was I.
Then my eyes sought; then they found

In every moment, don't forget to smile.
Do pray to feel the first kiss of every breath.
And in each moment I'll return the favor.
Covering the picture of your face.
Frame to frame.
Our eyes the glass that protects each memory.
A sweet smile that becomes the entrance of life itself.
Ambitiously half lifted eyes crinkled around the corners.
In every moment, don't forget to smile
and I'll return the favor.
Life is too short to let these moments go in vain

Sometimes I miss you.
The music from the speakers the only thing to fill the blanks of a rotating fan.
The rhythm to ease the silence.
Remembrance of how you sound,
Sometimes I miss you.
Negating myself with quick tugs & pulls.
I hang at your leisure.
Drawn to life at the rise of your head
I am lost without you

She moved about as the sea
And I the shore she'd visit every so often.
Each grain moist with infatuation.
I wish she'd stay a bit longer.
Kissing above her eye.
A paradise unfolded between our every caress.
Filling the gaps of when I missed her most.
Splashing against the shore.
Finding endless bliss in the current of the wind.
Taking a piece of me whenever she'd leave
Until next time

I've never been very good at listening.
I imagine that I resonate with a piece of you that reminds me of the same piece of me.
When I come face to face with this piece.
I realize that not everything can be changed.
That's what makes it important.
Otherwise the urge to speak would never come.
Realizing this occurrence,
It becomes familar.
Not once does fear strike.
All in all there's no interruption.
The well being of ourselves.
The very things that no matter what, we tend to recognize.
No matter the grief.
And like that very thing I become a child.
Not realizing the meaning of being alive.
Within these moments I turn to you for guidance.
I look up and realize a stubbornness.

I admit.
I've never been good at listening.
Although I vocalize the feeling.
We go through extreme measures when the appearance isn't quite right.
In light of innocence I am struck time and time again.
The lashings of what I'll always believe.
It becomes excessive.
Coming into contact with this same piece of me that I have found in you.
That no matter the argument.
We understand that there is an accord that cannot be ignored.
We live in a state where this paradox becomes conscious.
Separating what is right, as well as wrong.
At times we may disagree, proving in these times that it takes growth to be heard.
And I have heard you this whole time.
This piece of me that has fallen in love with every piece of you.
Both stubborn and impatient

Each morning she grants me the unique privilege of providing a smile on her face
I know quite a bit about the simple things.
To watch her walk in and delight herself with the croissant of open lips
A splash or two of milk painting her smile.
I just might have to bring her breakfast one day
Just to return the favor

Some nights you
were the moon.
Sailing through waves of milk
Before disappearing
into the vulnerability
Of what we keep on the inside.
It's no wonder why cookies
Are so popular.
The outer edge
drenched in saliva,
Curiously protecting
what's kept Precious.
A slight pause before everything
Is mushed & swallowed.
Some nights you were the moon.
Drenched in white fudge
Swirling in a universe all of your own.
Some nights you were the universe
Itself

I’ve lived in your heart for a minute now.
And though I love it here,
the faucet leaks,
the door doesn’t shut right
sometimes I have to hold a hand to it
just to lock it back.

When you drink, the space between your ribs
tightens, and your liver expands.

The neighbors aren’t so bad.
They keep to themselves.
When they see me, we talk about
how high the rent is,
how much we don’t get in return for the association fees,
how often we wake up to notices on our door
about late payments
always knocking like the police.

For this reason, I don’t attend any of the meetings.
But I don’t want to leave.

I’ve lived in your heart for a minute now
long enough to sleep through the creaks
when it settles,
long enough to know that home is where my heart is.

Forever isn’t a day here.
It stretches into the way you snore
when you think no one is listening
probably my favorite sound

There was something about her eyes.
Something comforting yet.
No matter how beautiful her lips could vocalize.
Nothing could compare to wandering the pupils of her eyes.
Those dark spheres that held so much in.
They'd expand then shrink
Almost as if they took a breath.
I don't know if it was anxiety,
The attempt of labeling this urge of wanting to ask so badly why they hung the way they did.
Knowing all of me but refusing to speak.
Those soft spoken eyes that looked like they could speak for hours.
I felt a tingling in my chest.
An explosion of sorts.
Scattering in every direction.
Something in me just wanted to blurt out what is it already.
Feeling this urge travel up my throat.
The brink of knowing you shouldn't but not wanting to listen to that inner voice that could jeopardize her comfort.
Wanting to know more about her,
Her lips compelled more to this connection.
The continuing of infatuation.
I slid my back against the side of her nose.
Easing my shoulder against the corner of her right eye.
I couldn't explain this comfort.
Allowing myself to be at ease with someone I barley knew.
But could totally relate.
Afraid to speak in fear of being totally misunderstood.
Things that might have taken place so far from where she stood, being in two places at one time.
I sought to understand.
Listening to a calm hush between us two.
Listening deeply for any indication, wondering if the feeling was mutual.
The conversation I longed to have with our backs now against the wall.
She'd politely stare.
Letting the sun polish her eyes a different shade.
Then out of the blue.
She turned to me and thanked me for understanding.
Knowing that not everything required an answer, not even words for that matter.
Continuing to sit beside her and share the comfort of ultimate silence.
Deep down I still wanted to blurt what was it about her eyes.
Those warm and inviting eyes.
Before I knew it I just started blabbing.
An instantaneous combustion of conversation happening out of nowhere.
My voice becoming hers. Revealing my curiosity.
How I've wandered around her eyes the moments I've sat next to her.
And before she knew it, they started talking.
Guiding me further into them

I dream of love
As two fish in a pond;
I drown only when I am away from you.
I exist only when I am inside
of you

I was walking down the steps and before I knew it I fell.
I closed my eyes bracing myself to feel the clang of my face against steel steps.
The thing about anticipation, it seems that it takes longer to happen before it actually does.
Freeing myself in thought I anticipated a hard fall only to open my eyes and
see that I fell right into the palm of your hand

Her moon is the everlasting cream
In my coffee of stars.
I stir in the hopes she appears
In half dark twinkles of night.
My hands warm in the bistro of
Anticipation.
She leans against my lips
& my emotions erupt in hot steam.
A love like hers silk as cream,
Easing down my throat.
I stir until half dark twinkles are covered.
I stir until only the smallest bit is shown.
Her moon the everlasting cream,
In my coffee of stars.
The taste forever lingering on my tongue.
This cream a kiss that orbits much of the world.
A romance I taste with each sip,
In my coffee of stars

The choice to stop was mine.
The addiction itself was a different story.
Doctors don't write prescriptions for this kind of stuff.
The cold sweats associated with anger.
The beginning is the hardest part.
Admitting temptation.
I was addicted.
The situation had ended but I kept obsessing.
Knowingly risking health.
The way you feel, the way you taste.
I couldn't afford to lose you as well as myself in the process.
Properly insuring another substance for another.
The cost of Medicare.
It was my decision, my choice.
Your voice a constant peer pressure of finding bliss.
If only for a minute.
At some point I ignored my own voice.
Reaching for you again.
I acknowledge that it was my responsibility.
Blaming everything around me, even you.
In this brief moment, common sense wasn't so common.
Not anymore.
Forgetting that actions have consequences.
For every second I ignore you.
You whine, you cry.
Becoming my chronic illness.
The enabler to what ever complaint.
It's hard to quit.
Finding every excuse except the right one.
She was the highway.
I was the traveler.
Weary in search of exit.
This road becoming longer and longer.
The lights becoming more and more distant.
Each exit in-between stops having fewer establishments.
Additional signs appearing with more temptation.
The cold sweats are back, this anxiousness to reach for something that I know isn't there.
This addiction to hold you, crave you, taste you.
This urge to love you as much as I did.
This persistent itch that I can't live without you.
Doctors don't write prescriptions for this kind of stuff.
The warning labels causing more harm than good.
Reminiscing on times that I shouldn't.
The choice to stop was mine.
To love someone that doesn't love you back

We left the safety of port.
Rising and falling
wave after wave.
The wind stung our face.
Abroad tensions rose.
Never seeing water the way we've seen.
Tossing and turning.
The ship slicing the strong current.
Together we hauled toward the anchor.
Spotting the largest wave we'd ever seen.
Hurling towards us with everything she had.
We set sail without guide.
This perhaps the worse storm yet.
We braced for impact.
Not prepared for what accompanied.
The boom crashed against the deck.
Our linen tossed everywhere.
We panicked,
steering best we could to no avail.
We succumbed to her fury.
Ready to face what may.
Our true destination found.
Seeking the sun after devastation

And when ever I reach down everything is OK.
A jingle of my keys, pocket change.
And there you are.
I'd have a heart attack if I were to reach down and you weren't there.
I don't know what I'd do.
Back tracking every step. Doubling back every where I've been.
Pacing my breath in attempt not to panic
I know it's an unhealthy dependency but face it.
You are a part of my everyday walkabout.
Whether it's something that I need to know or randomly bored.
You always put a smile on my face.
Although some news I'd rather not know. You tell me in a way that I'll understand and I appreciate that.
Searching for a smile pure and humble.
A small print made large. Easier on the eyes.
You teach me things that I'd never think to look for.
Random searches that tie into the things I don't know that I need.
Me sitting in front of you face to face.
Our conversations spanning for hours at a time.
I know at times you need to recharge your batteries and I try to let you be.
But even when your sleep you don't mind waking up and keeping me company.
Even if it's just a second

When the bill came,
We split it,
Not because we couldn’t afford it
Or because one of our egos
Got in the way.
The world has enough debt
And definitely enough lies.
The first step to getting to know
Each other is to stop pretending
That we’re anything other than human.

I love the way you took your time
Looking over the menu,
Not a quick glance, but in a thoughtful,
Meaningful Way,
Considering what you really wanted.
Something that would keep you full,
Even after you left.
I could see myself falling in love
With you,
Taking your time before speaking,
Processing every word,
Not afraid to explain after you speak.

The money didn’t matter.
Regardless of the circumstances,
It would still be spent
Why not share the experience?
No different than me holding
My fork up, asking you
To try what’s on my plate.

There’s no need to hide who we are,
Whether my stomach growls
In front of you or when I’m away.
There are things more important
Than money.
The place closes in a couple more
Hours.
Want to order something else?
My treat?

She sprawled out across the sky, bored,
Perfectly sun-kissed.
From a distance she could fit
In my hands.
Day, the name we hold dearest
Day, the name of the memory I placed
her above all else.
I too, lay sprawled out, beneath her.
The intensity of how she makes me
feel,
A region I know well, sweltered &
swollen,
Without walls or halls to contain the
effect she has on me.
She took my hand & gave me the gift of
her presence.
My heart but a burning bush from this
intense percussion, this rapid sensation spreading steadily, rapidly.
A giant in my eyes.
I've climbed the highest building &
collapsed beneath her.
Black & wilted,
I am the wick without promise of
tomorrow

Having to forget you is a misconception.
I understand that things happen and these things we often have no control over.
Consequence.
Watching the boat leave it's pier is one of the most beautiful things.
My honest opinion.
The beginning of new experience.
The sensation of watching the odds disperse wave after wave.
Love happens.
It hurts a bit.
Being gone so long.
Docking other places, under different lights.
Finding that every city has a different sound.
A different smell.
It hurts knowing that you've docked somewhere new.
The same flow of emotion parted by the hull of your coming.
A new home.
A new place to rest your fears.
It takes courage to open up.
Thick ropes tied in knots.
An ever changing world.
More advances made in the world of travel.
How we get from point A to B.
It doesn't mean that I don't miss you.
Leaving my rope on the dock of the harbor.
Free to come and go as you please.
Having to watch my boat sail away.
The chance of knowing you may never return.
The same intimacy we shared given to someone else.
It's the same understanding that hurts tenfold.
Knowing these changes must be made in order to progress.
Going out on the town to find myself back here waiting for your return.
Relating to the tears of the ocean.
A new experience we both separately share.
The nights spent alone in wait.
The pier lined up with different ships and boats.
None of which are never you.
It's impossible not to miss you.
Holding on to your beauty, grace.
Waiting for my ship to return.
Knowing that it will never happen

At the bookstore I found a guide
Inside was a simple instruction.
A funny looking diagram.
I tried everything imaginable but still couldn't figure it out.
Flipping page after page, Telling you what I've found.
The way the instruction was wrote was shoddy.
Continuing to follow the diagram.
Attempting what I read all you did was laugh, none of it worked.
It didn't hit me until I threw the paperwork that I might have been reading it
upside down.
Finding a different way to love you.
Upon further reading I followed the instruction verbatim.
If anything it pushed me further away from you,
A strange look that continued with the raise of a eyebrow.
I looked online and read the reviews, found the publisher of the book.
I wrote them stating that the guide was entertaining but still had problems
applying what I read.
I looked again at the strange stick figures wondering if figure one really was
figure one.
Reading the publishers reply,
They really should print these things better as all they did was laugh.
It wasn't until I reached the end of the book and read in fine print.
For entertainment purposes only

In a moment I am high,
Head swollen
Lost in the clouds

Laughing, talking
Far from the fear that exists 
When you are away.
My head inflated by the same breath

shared

in your presence.
These feelings dispersed by the taste of your lips.
Heaven but a breath away.
Lost in the sky with my giant head.

Love.. love... love love love
This rush of anticipation,

Not knowing what comes next 
Floating around with the largest smile.
The fear of falling miles away
Along with the feeling of being popped

among all things.
I've been taken by the whirlwind of your smile.

Below my body dangles,
My head perfect in your hands.
This simple pleasure visited &
Re-visited in the reflection of my eyes to yours.
Love.. love... love love love
The helium that keeps me afloat.
Love.. love... love love love

Your lips pressed to mine.
Without this taste of affection I'd surely die.
Love.. love... love love love 
But a breath away

Her love was like rain,
Falling a million drops at a time
Scattering through the sky.
Her love soothing, calm, wet.
This love not predicted by
forecasts given by weathermen.
Coming when ready.
She often fell without limit.
A huge gulp swallowed without spill.
Her deed readily prepared without haste.
Her love like rain.
Falling drop after drop.
Sincere without shame.
& I the none swimmer,
carried by her flood
& without fear,
I insist that she carry me
where ever she may go

Cupid was standing next to the Halloween cards stretched so far from the valentine's day cards.
He pondered.
If he could pass out hearts like packages of candy.
Would people remain children at heart forever.
Without need for costume,
what would happen to the ghouls with nothing to vandalize.
Slowly falling in love with the taste of next year

Loving her was like a good meal.
An unexpected moment in the universe when everything goes right.
Whether the chef changes the recipe.
Or I just so happened to catch the place on a slow day.
An otherwise busy, fast paced world.
Everything from the complimentary water, to the appetizer.
The main course.
This was how good to be in love with her felt.
There was no such thing as placing another order.
Substituting one item for another.
Without need for a menu.
I wanted all that she had to offer.
This was a meal that couldn't be recreated.
Everything presented perfect on the plate.
The seasonal greens and meat overlapping what's thought to be imperfect.
We often take for granted the simple things.
Occasional efforts that what we need most can easily be found at request.
This isn't always the case.
We authentically lose anticipation doing so.
Creating different realities of ourselves. 
Rather than learning to accept. 
Soaked in juices, the aroma seeping through the air.
She sizzled, cracked, and popped.
This experience that approached.
This was eating at it's finest.
Preparing knife and fork.
Loving her without wasting a single crumb, morsel, or drop.
This was me biting into something that I've never before experienced.
Giving each other what we've both desired.
The fulfillment of one another.
Exploring portion after portion of this delicious rendezvous

I fell in love by the shore.
Nose wide open.
In a cool curve I felt a ripple of bliss.
Through my eyes I followed every motion.
Every gleam that shown through vibrant hue.
The echo of true loves kiss.
Like that I became hooked.
A sharp pain coming from my jaw.
To be pulled in a direction that wasn't my own.
I panicked.
The more I fought, the stronger the pull got.
My jaw stung with every tug.
I was at a loss for words.
Finding it hard to breathe.
Each gasp deeper than the next.
I was lured by the same shore I loved from afar.
The bitter pinch I believed to be love at first sight.
No longer able to breathe.

One in three women.
Have experienced violence.
The vase inside cracks.

In a odd twist,
You became the official unofficial big brother I never had.
We've long passed the favorite artist, listener thing that totally happened unexpectedly.
There were times when at my worse you gave some of the most life changing advice in the craziest way.
True enough you muffled them kind of low, but turning up my headphones was never a problem.
For each track list there was something that gave insight to things I never thought to think about.
And now, with all the time that's passed.
It's like what happened.
At that point and time I could have easily said without a question of a doubt that you were the pivotal point of the pedestal needed.
That one stone whom refused to be broken.
No matter how hard times got.
Now it's like, where did the old you go.

The people around disappear.
My voice makes its way home.
Finding comfort in your ear.
You resonate within my heart.
Stirring a soul that no longer knows fear.
In the end all that I knew before will no longer exist.
Everything chipped and shattered in a million pieces. 
Sheer signs of destruction.
But still I drunk, knowing the full consequence.
The shaping of objects that no longer obstruct view.
The people all around completely unaware.
The existence of something awoken by a single thought.
Pulled in by the urge of a single whisper.
Spilled from the brim of hand to mind.
A sweet substance grown to stick as it cools.
The thought of being held, embraced in the flicker of light.
A moment worth being withheld a moment longer.
Not a moment to criticize nor. but a moment of introduction.
To take such gift and wish that this could last for more than a moment.
More than two.
To stir something so factious. So addictive.
At that moment I realized what I was missing

In an open end expression,
I wanted to do something like try to make you smile.
Things seldom seen as perfectly as they appear in person.
No matter how hard I think about it, it doesn't exactly make for what I see In your presence.
Somehow it just calms me.
That eternal peace that comes out of nowhere.
That inescapable feeling of being a different man. That unavoidable truth Found in the sound of silence.
This is the effect you have on me.
Somewhere deep down I touch bases with a me that I haven't seen in such a long time.
I guess the cool part about it is that it never takes much.
Nothing out of the ordinary, just one of those lazy days off work
no odd shaped supervisor barking orders.
You know, none of that aggravating **** we face on a daily bases.
Just a unexplainable peace.
Finding it's way into light, A light that only you can provide.
A light that appears soon as you smile.
Lips unraveling the bud of a pearly smile.
A stem wrapped in clothes, roots tied in rubber soles.
That's you, That one flower whom refused to stay in the same spot.
That rebellious bunch that kept too much to herself that followed the sun wherever it went.
Most flowers hideaway when the weather breaks, taking a deep snooze until the cold goes away.
On the other hand you are not like most flowers. You put on a coat and found a place with a heater.
Whose to say that you were wrong.
Whose to say that if you didn't adapt that you still wouldn't ask a million and one questions.
It's those quirks alone that make you easily lovable.
Still kind of irritating though, not all of the time just sometimes.
It still kind of makes me want to lock you in a closet, still kind of just makes me look at you and somewhat growl.
Eh, I know that sounds kind of ****** up but admittedly I enjoy every bit of it.
Although I still kind of  want to call God and apologize for whatever it was I did just take you away.
That sounded mean, but I'll do you one better.
It still kind of makes me miss you when you don't do any of those things.
At some point I don't know what made you take your shoes off and root yourself beside me.
But I'm glad you did.
Life would be so boring if I didn't have someone to shoot the **** with.
Even if half the time I kind of, sort of, always threaten to **** you.
Never in a serious way. Always in a silly off the wall sort of way. Noone would see it coming.
Nah but in all seriousness,
I know that your just expressing how you feel, Although I joke about you being clingy .
In the moments that I don't want to shake you, I enjoy it throughly

When the tide was high
I loved to hang over the edge.
Rising and falling.
The gap widening then closing.
No longer visible to shore.
I'd lean over.
The wind thumping me in the chest.
My lips peeled in joy.
Well conditioned hair.
My fingers lost in wave after wave.
The sails filled in a gust.
My fingers folded between the current.
I a stow away.
Finding my way to the helm.
My hand lost in a sea of hair.
Sailing towards the horizon

With the lines small in attendance.
We made haste,
Skipping to the front.
A ceremony of shoes,
moving inch by inch.
We felt like kids again.
Amusing ourselves before a rush of anxiety.
Being slung in the air.
Our hands and feet lifeless by our side.
Nothing but stretched nylon and belts keeping us in our seat.
The ****** of seeing her eyes light next to mine.
This was how I felt being by her side.
The anticipation of knowing that at any given moment.
A strange metamorphosis was bound to happen.
The simplest thing such as walking became that much enjoyable.
The endless patter of feet.
Pounding over and over.
Walking about,
Reviewing our love of food.
Funnel cakes, fried Oreo.
A festival of taste buds refined by hers.
An obese smile,
Both our stomachs full.
The anticipation of reaching our peak.
Let out as a loud yell, covered by the sound of laughing.
The sound of bells and dings.
Large to small plush bears & animals given to the winner of each game. 
Her being the best prize there.
Life size

Along the lines of miscommunication war broke out.
A civil discord of peace mistaken for chaos.
The clatter of pins layered on one another, pulled from grenades, thrown at the last minute. shattered through the air.
Devouring everything it touched.
This was how I saw her heart.
Flung through the air.
Gripped firmly. Released by loose hands.
A explosion scattering dirt and grime.
A slight ticking pacing back and forth.
Debating the result of action.
Broke apart from shell and casing.
This was the end result of the nights she spent awake contemplating.
Was there ever room for compromise. Accepting reason as excuse.
This was the first time I noticed how stubborn hearts can be.
Doomed to explode at any given moment. Hearing every reason but their own. Detonation was imminent.
Her heart packed tight in shell and casing.
The smell of gun powder lingered in the air.
The sound of ammo being loaded in metal cartridges.
Jammed tight in automatic rifle.
For each bullet I loaded into the cartridge was a bit of reassurance that what I knew in my heart was right.
The fact that action spoke louder that words could be seen from every one of her grenades, the steam arising from the nose of my rifle in defense of why.
This was the sound of my heart firing shot after shot
Reigning from soot covered hands.
Not of hate. But as a means of trying to breakdown the wall of her understanding.
The sound of our argument could be heard from miles on end.
The ground soiled in yellow explosion covered with piece after piece of her heart.
The aftermath of bullets layered in thick walls.
There I stood in premeditated assault in belief that we were on separate sides defending  what we perceived as right.
Alone our boots shook the ground that trembled in fear.
Hidding behind walls completely missing the point that if we truly fought for the same cause,
Who'd truly win if we continued. Destroying nothing but ourselves in the process

This morning I caught the blues.
I stood on the edge of the spoon with nowhere to go.
I tied my shoes and searched for my muse.
There she sat, distance postponing an ooze of stew.
With the end of the ladle short.
The end of the table so far. I sat.
I felt like a schmuck,
sitting on the edge of the spoon.
This hunger pang unfair.
Following me ladle to the tip.
A table clothed in decoration.
I envied the way it loathed.
Laying flat with no idea of what was going on.
It would never know the hunger that ached mid-spoon.
The ingredients that drove this passion.
The smell, the feel of steam that rose from the middle of the bowl.
The meat, the vegetables.
The brew of broth I longed to taste.
This space mid-spoon.
My heart raced in mourning
Standing on the edge of the spoon

And like that.
She eased the piece into the groove.
Nestling it close to her lips.
Suddenly her eyes closed,
That horn came to life.
Wide-eyed and bushey tailed.
Stretching it's yawn.
It walked around, journeying to the closest city.
Taking a mid day drive,
Wiping sleep from it's eyes.
It's twelve day noon.
Vocalizing it's croon.
The conflict of working long hours.
Two jobs, a mother of one.
Getting out the bed late.
Trying to remember if she's paid this month's bill or not.
The debate of taking the day off.
Sealed inside it's case.
To sleep the day away.
This weary horn.
With the kid off to school.
She has but a minute.
A loud yawn, the release of stress from a demanding boss.
Every croon loud and long.
A testimony of deep long sigh.
The valves pressed by weary fingers.
A mother of one finds deliverance

Not until steping closer.
I realized that I was in the palm of your hand.
I left my parachute without regret,
Moving one step closer staring down.
I deeply wanted to understand how free love was.
Standing here,
Realizing how high up everything really is.
Your palm sustaining my weight.
I wasn't at all anixous.
Now thinking that the wind could have shifted me forward before time.
Constantly aware that at any moment.
I will close my eyes and lean forward.
Pass the ridges of pants and tile floor.
Leaving behind everything I knew best.
My comfort zone.
This was me falling in love.
This was me overcoming my fear of heights
Forever in debt to the strength of your hand

You've always been able to do
That,
Fill my head with all these
Beautiful thoughts.
To the point that I feel
Like I am floating
Up in the sky where every
Cloud reminds me of you.
Sometimes I think it's funny.
Picturing myself as a balloon.
Swollen head.
Little body dangling below.
No matter how high I get,
Floating inside this love of yours.
I promise not to float too
Far away.
Knowing the sky is filled with
You