Her eyes widened,
Not once did I stop to notice that this was the first time
These words came from my mouth.
Through action yes but never once did I stop to pay attention that I've never said it before.
The words that caused this sudden hesitation.
I mean throughout the course of the day I've thought it.
But until I seen the look on her face it struck me.
Of all things how could I possibly forget that.
It wasn't at all a bad thing, as most silences accompany something bad,
Though silence filled the air the look on her face was in disbelief.
From that moment on I sort of questioned a lot of other things, the kind of things that lead to if I did or didn't.
I never was one to pay close attention to detail.
The subtle hints that I very well might have overlooked.
I suppose I do deserve to be hit in the back of the head
As she stopped in mid sentence, I suppose just as shocked as I was.
In the back of my mind I was really hoping that she wouldn't ball up her fist and hit me up side the head.
All things aside, I was never good at this type of thing and on a daily basis she deserves more than what I can give but she takes it all in stride.
But seriously I hope she doesn't hit me up side the head for taking this long.
She is a bit violent and on top of that she is a ******, going to get a step stool would only make her madder.
Her eyes now widened, eyebrows relived of any crinkle that stretched down to her nose.
Leaving me without a thing to say but the words again.
"I love you"
Currently there isn't a price on all the things That I love.
Depending on the situation I still check my pockets.
The places I go I am not use to exiting without pulling out my wallet.
Though it's not much, the minimum amount of your time provides the same thrill.
It's hard to disagree with a good heart.
Our opinions may be different but it's decent.
Our life evolving into deep quotations.
The revolution against cash registers everywhere has begun.
The clinginess of change and dollar bills.
Slices of our time stuffed and slid into the opening of each others mouth.
The trouble with that is we choose to label everything with price.
Ignoring common sense for cents.
I ignore my pockets whenever you are around as nothing of value can be found there.
I tread softly as more of your time creates more currency.
And I can't jeopardize losing that.
There isn't a career that can fill my wallet like you fill my heart.
No time clock anywhere that could justify.
Come tax time you are my greatest asset.
Come payday you are the currency I seek
Upon reading, I still quite didn't understand .
Not until applying my own definition.
Even today she's meek, humble.
Once a dream, I woke to find her gone
I Still hear her voice so far away.
What was this idealistic principle.
Youthful soon to mature,
Finding it's way into a grave.
The scarcity of something so precious.
The adoration, was any moment opportune.
I knew very little, seeking her.
Comprehending what I knew from such a small glimpse .
Resistance truly was futile.
Stumped at the very root.
Grabbing the proverbial apple, taking a bite.
I no longer had any control of my life, displaced with closed eyes.
Searching for a glimmer of hope,
I urge, 5 more minutes
She wasn't a dream
I am a fool,
Waiting for your return
Every time you leave.
I pretend to ignore you.
Sitting here patiently waiting
For you to come back.
The things said that aren't meant.
The way you turn your back,
The last word before storming out the door.
I am a fool.
Leaving the door unlocked.
Waiting for your return.
I should be happy with pretending.
The breath of fresh air that soon misses your face.
I'll be a fool
I'll be a fool to lock the door.
I'll be a fool to call knowing you'd press ignore.
The things said that aren't meant.
The anticipation that waits for that door to open.
Nowhere to go.
I am a fool, standing by the door.
I've run out of things to do.
Waiting on you to come back.
I'll be a fool to ignore what's in plain sight.
I'll be a fool
And just like coffee.
Let your aroma tingle and stimulate the smiles of those around.
The best source of touch
Without cream or sugar.
Stir the organic presentation that brings the next minute that much closer.
Whether the preference is a mug or a styrofoam cup.
At the end of the day.
Coffee fits into any size container
And brings to life any size smile.
With one quick sip
The senses awake to a new day.
Swirled in unspoken travel sized rule.
The beautiful ovation that rushes once poured.
Beautifully represented by your smile.
The tone of your skin.
Your hair naturally at ease.
Stirred by a finger.
Specialism by the majority nodding away,
Yet awaken by your essence.
Soon extracted and brought to life.
Swirling beyond content.
And just like coffee,
I look forward to a cup of you
Within my arms lies a piece of you
Which I extend further.
Pretending I don't see, until
I pull my arms closer
Wishing that you were here
If there is one anything that I could ask you to promise it is this.
Promise me that you will never stop looking.
Explore what ever fascination that excites you most.
Search deep within yourself and explore your hearts imagination.
There is no right thing that makes it wrong or come crashing down.
All the possibilities are endless
Your happiness, your dreams.
I guarantee on your way that you will find a bunch of things that will make your body melt in anticipation.
That out of the blue feeling that makes your heart race for no reason.
That is love, that is life.
That is the vein that stems from all that thrives from your hearts imagination
She was a flower,
Blossoming in each direction she stepped.
A flower tucked in a rose woven sweater.
She grew thorns to protect herself from those whom sought to misuse the essence of her beauty.
The spread of her fragrant bud, spreading her petal in the midst
of where she stood.
Paying no never-mind to her roots, her petals withered.
Applying water to everywhere accept where it was needed most.
They continued to pass, her sweater now dingy.
The ***** of different fingers, she no longer swayed the same.
A season of orange and red leaves.
Then came the winter. Hard but fair
Robbing her of all the beauty she possessed.
It was when her petals fell that she remembered what mattered most
Every day I am leaping higher
Jumping from brown blocks and green pipes.
From the pluck of fire flowers steams this passion that I pursue So adamantly.
Question mark filled boxes highlighted yellow.
Flickering on and off.
The alchemy of white gloves, stomping and flipping the backs of turtles.
Small mushroom men with small feet.
Flying bullets of unusual size.
Large man eating plants.
I no longer fear the height of odd shaped trees, and small collapsing bridges.
What I fear most are the walls of empty castles.
Flying bullets and funny shaped ghost.
Soon to attack soon as I turn my back.
Lava filled pits. Huge block castles.
Torn blue coveralls. Dull and weathered black boots.
The slip of a shoe and everything I know comes to an end.
I travel land, sea, desert, space.
No matter what adversity,
In search of a princess that I love so adamantly.
No matter how long the journey
I let go.
Finding that I still care.
Placing blame as a means to cope with how I felt towards you.
The rush of things that have transpired.
The thought of things that may not be the same.
In turn I lashed out in self defense in every argument you started.
Receding every inch of my heart.
Every inch that I shared with you.
In that moment all you saw was disappointment.
That not of my own.
A deep hurt that signified love in a tender moment of hurt.
A rash thought that just wanted to grab you & shake you until you understood.
Meanwhile screaming on the inside.
Screaming for you to realize that nothing could take the place of what I felt for you.
Screaming internally for this pain to go back to the smile it use to know so adamantly.
With nothing else to do, I let go.
Falling forever in thought.
Feeling my life crash against the ground.
Nothing mattered at that time except how you perceived me.
That deep well of affection that I so wanted to fall into again and again.
That somehow that I tarnished everything that we shared.
Until I realized that you never intended to feel the way that I felt about you.
That you sought a shoulder to lean on in your own leisure.
A temporary fix
I bet you will smile.
after this next sentence, you'll see.
That this was about you
And when you touch me
I feel a fire burn across my skin.
A touch that can only be described
As the fire I feel towards you.
A pain that isn't pain at all.
The warmth of something close as fire.
Traveling through every inch of skin.
My body open to the thrill of you.
The sensation of touching something hot,
To know lingering thrill.
Your presence always near.
A touch only described as the fire I feel towards you.
A pain that isn't pain at all.
My love for you.
A fire that rages on consumed with conquest.
And when you touch me
I feel a fire burn across my skin.
I explode in the look of look of your eyes.
No rain in sight to cool the feeling.
To yield unending blaze
Her love is urgent
Reaching out with both arms extended.
Her love close to my heart,
Our feet no longer stray,
The result of prayers made on both knees.
Her arms give more than take
Finding their way inside mine.
Providing a warmth awaken by the tick of hearts.
Her love urgent,
My nose lost in the scent of her neck,
My arms tight around her.
I don't want to go.
Tomorrow a world away.
I don't want to wait
Her love close
Just beneath her chest.
Each throb in the palm of my hand
Reaching out with both arms extended.
I don't want to go.
My hands no longer by my side.
Her love ever more urgent
My love waiting my whole life for her.
Her voice, angelic & free of restraint
Easily calming as the wind.
There's not a thing I'd change about the way the wind blows.
All of the good things that come as each breath slips between her lips.
The expressions her face would make conversing about any thing,
An language understood in the complete silence our eyes would make,
With complete permission to rest my ear against her voice,
The peace of mind offered by the touch of her soul.
The individually that separates her voice from that of the world.
I've pictured us together over a million times,
Not wanting to leave each time you've appeared.
Each emotion growing deeper with each visit.
The thick of each others grasp.
The sun symbolizing the height of emotion set in each other's eyes.
The feel of lips against the tide of endless bliss.
The thought of dreams becoming reality.
The thought of you walking in.
You here in my arms in an endless loss of breath.
The plight of anticipation.
The clench of hands tossing and turning in release
Holding on to the moments seen through low cut eyes.
The times I wish would never end.
Wishing you could stay
And if I am guilty of one single thing.
It is this.
I love too much and show too little.
Realizing in the end that I am the undoing of what I care most.
I need to believe that past is past.
Instead it dictates too much of what my future holds.
In truth I am terrified.
I believe too much in the things that hurt.
I am sold into beliefs to find that truth is never really what it seems.
I buy into sudden beliefs.
unconsciously we hurt each other.
We digest different pieces of each other and swallow them with water.
The prescription to love ourself is still the same.
It's terrible, the way we react before the initial action.
A means to cope.
Seeking refill before the prescription has run out.
We run out of patience.
Standing in line.
The hacking and coughing of times pass.
The body aches and trembles.
An infection that continues to spread.
Still we search for ways to rid ourselves of everything but the right thing.
Staying home in fear that contagion will spread.
Have we really run out of things to say.
Our voices cut short from the swelling.
A different piece swallowed, over and over again.
Chased down drowned with water.
Fallen asleep, to wake our symptoms worse.
Seeking a pharmacist to heal already present symptoms
without first a medical prescription.
In fear insurance won't cover cost.
In your absence I haven't done much healing
I've fallen into the abyss; fingers toes nothing to grasp.
I've fallen into the insanity of your heart
With constant spinning of constant darkness.
Instantaneously forgetting what it's like to stand on solid ground
And then it happened.
I came face to face with my ex.
Not much has changed from the last time we spoke.
When I was younger there use to be a sense of grief.
That somewhat odd feeling that overshadowed everything good in my life.
Suddenly watching the clouds go from bright white to a dull gray.
I hated thunderstorms back then.
I'd like to think that I've learned a lot sense then though.
Watching her eyeball me with a sense of curiosity.
Slowly learning the fact that I seemed to be doing a lot better without her.
You know those looks that reveal a lot without so much as a word being said.
She had plenty of those, often catching herself in mid sentence.
Her naturally low cut eyes now lower.
I wouldn't actually describe her as being a addition or nowhere close to a binge.
But more so one of those random nights you get hammered and wake up the next morning trying to figure out what happened.
No not at all. Again I am being modest.
If anything she was one of those drinks with a acquired taste.
The kind of drink someone offers you in attempt to try something new and though it tastes bad you still drink it out of generosity as it was a kind gesture.
Not at all stating that she was a bad person. No she was very sweet.
In fact I am glad that I had opportunity to bump into her again.
But a lot of time has elapsed sense then.
And seeing how time works I am no longer the same person.
Though I must admit,
First seeing her I was a bit puzzled, as those dark clouds that normally follow were nowhere to be seen.
Nor the crackling of a long drawn out bolt of lightening.
Both probably caught in traffic, Arguing over which came first.
If anything, she knew I had a high tolerance as far as drinks are concerned.
But again I am being corrigible.
Yet, this time I didn't miss the exit sign on my way out the door as normally I'd walk pass it twelve times, mistaking it for something else.
In a strange twist we neither dismissed each other nor omitted each others presence.
I walked out the door, while she was busy finishing what was left of her fiancee
With so little time I could not decide.
Shelf after shelf filled with book upon book.
The likes I've dreamed of reading.
Most bookstores have there signs posted.
Opening and closing time.
But this, this was something out of the ordinary.
Not a soul wandering through the isles.
No checkout line.
It was intimate.
Being here alone surrounded by book after book.
Each with a cover beautifully drawn.
Genres of insecurities, dreams, ambitions.
Any spot on the floor felt like home.
Addressing myself in total seclusion.
Mornings spent in thought embraced by the cold air flowing through the vents.
Afternoons spent without a thing to do.
The nights when a pillow was the only comfort, drifting off to sleep.
Slow rather than fast.
I flipped through page after page.
Wandering from isle to isle undecided in which book I wanted to read first.
Eying the shelves one at a time.
Finding the beauty in what makes you, you.
The marked on pages.
The distraught covers.
With so little time I didn't want to spend every second over-thinking.
Analyzing exactly which stood out the most.
When in actuality.
They all are a part of you
I loved the smell of
Cookies, Valentine's day sale.
It's not February
With pure intention.
I longed to prove more than what became ideal.
Insecurity can come from a variety of sorts.
Communication through action, not only words.
The value of times essence.
Counting the moments it takes to come to the realization,
I too was afflicted.
To appreciate a woman such as her.
Not to impose on exposed thighs.
A factious affair that could only enforce what was felt mentally.
Only in mental.
Still we became vulnerable to the emotions that followed.
I appreciated her in full.
In part to generosity.
Her stare, the way she'd vocalize to the rhythm of her heart.
I emptied my time when I had none to give.
Creating a revolving door of emotion,
In due time it was never enough.
In part I tried to stop. Finding myself too far gone.
She too pointed in blame.
Everything that felt so right became wrong.
My face no longer my own.
But one of her past.
I shared fault in every reaction that wasn't my own.
I'd sit and wander my thoughts.
Everything she said I'd do, I'd never done.
A shadow loomed, knowing only to spread.
Finding it's way past the light of heart.
Soon the very words we stood upon filled with cracks.
I too, afflicted by everything other than myself. Than her.
Just as the very first step felt the hardest.
The last one was even harder.
Not realizing who we were any longer, the trips to and from were never the same.
Both lost in the tide of emotion.
In the hopes of not becoming totally lost.
I watched her give herself to another.
to feel the same way about another, to go above and beyond for another.
To again become afflicted, as his face later became one from her past.
And when I look into your eyes
That smile gets me everytime.
Time seems to fly by.
Left standing, wondering what happened to the hours.
The rest of the world unknowing.
Just as I,
Lost in the wake of your eyes.
This place hidden.
Beautiful and free.
Reflecting the angels that go unnoticed.
The rest of the world,
Afraid to fly
There was something about her eyes.
Something comforting yet.
No matter how beautiful her lips could vocalize.
Nothing could compare to wandering the pupils of her eyes.
Those dark spheres that held so much in.
They'd expand then shrink
Almost as if they took a breath.
I don't know if it was anxiety,
The attempt of labeling this urge of wanting to ask so badly why they hung the way they did.
Knowing all of me but refusing to speak.
Those soft spoken eyes that looked like they could speak for hours.
I felt a tingling in my chest.
An explosion of sorts.
Scattering in every direction.
Something in me just wanted to blurt out what is it already.
Feeling this urge travel up my throat.
The brink of knowing you shouldn't but not wanting to listen to that inner voice that could jeopardize her comfort.
Wanting to know more about her,
Her lips compelled more to this connection.
The continuing of infatuation.
I slid my back against the side of her nose.
Easing my shoulder against the corner of her right eye.
I couldn't explain this comfort.
Allowing myself to be at ease with someone I barley knew.
But could totally relate.
Afraid to speak in fear of being totally misunderstood.
Things that might have taken place so far from where she stood, being in two places at one time.
I sought to understand.
Listening to a calm hush between us two.
Listening deeply for any indication, wondering if the feeling was mutual.
The conversation I longed to have with our backs now against the wall.
She'd politely stare.
Letting the sun polish her eyes a different shade.
Then out of the blue.
She turned to me and thanked me for understanding.
Knowing that not everything required an answer, not even words for that matter.
Continuing to sit beside her and share the comfort of ultimate silence.
Deep down I still wanted to blurt what was it about her eyes.
Those warm and inviting eyes.
Before I knew it I just started blabbing.
An instantaneous combustion of conversation happening out of nowhere.
My voice becoming hers. Revealing my curiosity.
How I've wandered around her eyes the moments I've sat next to her.
And before she knew it, they started talking.
Guiding me further into them
I have to thank the night shift.
With nothing else to do I stumbled across you by mistake.
With most of the work almost done.
My ears took a stroll.
Four hours left before I clock out.
My Pandora took an awkward twist.
A long pause of an ad, the quirk of a song I haven't heard before.
Before I could hit the skip button I realized that I found something I had no idea I was missing.
I paused in momentary combustion.
This orchestra of cool followed by bass.
And to think I would tragically have been mistaken to skip along.
Staring off into space.
I have nothing to offer except my ear.
Shamefully I can admit.
I have never had someone to come and visit me on the clock.
But I could get use to it.
Just my opinion.
This psychedelic feeling that found me twiddling my fingers.
Nothing much to do.
Except fall in love unexpectedly.
Four hours later the same song stuck in my head.
This station all the more better
Stumbling into you out of the blue
I went to heaven in a smile
Lathered in pearly white.
Out of sight, out of mind
I understood this only after arriving.
I went to heaven in a smile
Without grief, without prior knowledge.
In a whisper every thing became clear.
Without stumbling I realized where I was.
Following a winged angel
She smiled, her hand warm in mine.
Until we meet again, know I miss you.
Lathered in what I've come to know,
What I've come to feel.
When I close my eyes I hope to arrive there again soon.
Before my winged angel
In a language spoke between clouds
And when she cut the radio on
Everything became so clear
I never heard the words to my favorite song; I listened intently.
Not only capturing the words
But this very moment.
The amount of thought put into this exchanged gesture.
What was this
It wasn't rock, it wasn't pop
It's wasn't the mellow tone of rhythm and blues
What was this
This explosion that occurred with the next look of her eyes
Like psychedelic euphoria
Oozing from our lips
Erratic heart throbs pulsating through the air waves
No matter how far we were
Her lips take me to all of the places that I haven't been.
My tongue peeking from behind teeth.
The secrets inspired by us and us alone.
Exploring the world with our eyes closed.
All at once.
We too leaned against the cathedral
The very moment our eyes opened.
We wore each other's look.
Suddenly surprised at the places we came to be.
The sights we longed to see,
Now our favorite.
The bongs our heart made,
Discovering how big Ben really was.
The chimes always with us.
Through her shoes I felt her heart race.
Opening my eyes once just to see what beauty looked like.
This infatuation wrought in iron.
Stacked high to establish how far up we've come.
The lights that causally lit up along the way.
The fold indented in her neck.
The way she couldn't pace her breath.
Our tongues the guide which produced the path we walked.
Convinced that we were the silhouette cast from the buildings we admired.
We pulled the shade on the Windows of the world.
Discovering something much more.
The sunset in each other's eyes
Soon as we opened them
I chase every second spent without you.
A kiss short and brief
This being the most meaningful time
If but a moment,
Two arms forever lost in a memory.
The stretch of ticking needles.
Tick tock, tick tock I am back in your arms.
Tick tock, tick tock I am back chasing.
An eternity spent in your arms
Seems like a dream
The last time we met.
You stood in front of me wearing those almond eyes
that I love so much.
Not once did I hesitate
Developing a taste for almonds.
The taste of something new in the mystique of fascination.
I did not realize my love for almonds
until the initial taste.
Finding how deletable they are,
The everlasting crunch of an almond.
A unique taste swirled around my mouth
covered in milk chocolate.
Although you have gone, I have remained faithful in your absence.
Recognizing your wrapper by name
Remembering the first crunch I realized I was in love
Once upon a time
There once lived a swine.
He loved to travel.
Unraveling himself in solemn novel.
Along with a apple.
He'd often babble.
With a book won from raffle,
He'd stand bowleg and baffled.
He'd often tattle
Not meaning to ramble.
Standing bowleg and baffled.
His face a smooth red cackle.
The look on his face outdone.
The zipper on his pants came undone.
Far from the favorite son
Those whom seen would make fun.
Of a swine whom despised bacon kind.
Losing peace of mind.
He soon became unkind.
Confined by bacon kind.
He'd straighten a leather belt
Soon a hand seldom dealt.
Soon a bag of rind.
Some kind of stew, cordon bleu.
With much displeasure.
Read the obituary.
And to think its almost February
Along the lines of miscommunication war broke out.
A civil discord of peace mistaken for chaos.
The clatter of pins layered on one another, pulled from grenades, thrown at the last minute. shattered through the air.
Devouring everything it touched.
This was how I saw her heart.
Flung through the air.
Gripped firmly. Released by loose hands.
A explosion scattering dirt and grime.
A slight ticking pacing back and forth.
Debating the result of action.
Broke apart from shell and casing.
This was the end result of the nights she spent awake contemplating.
Was there ever room for compromise. Accepting reason as excuse.
This was the first time I noticed how stubborn hearts can be.
Doomed to explode at any given moment. Hearing every reason but their own. Detonation was imminent.
Her heart packed tight in shell and casing.
The smell of gun powder lingered in the air.
The sound of ammo being loaded in metal cartridges.
Jammed tight in automatic rifle.
For each bullet I loaded into the cartridge was a bit of reassurance that what I knew in my heart was right.
The fact that action spoke louder that words could be seen from every one of her grenades, the steam arising from the nose of my rifle in defense of why.
This was the sound of my heart firing shot after shot
Reigning from soot covered hands.
Not of hate. But as a means of trying to breakdown the wall of her understanding.
The sound of our argument could be heard from miles on end.
The ground soiled in yellow explosion covered with piece after piece of her heart.
The aftermath of bullets layered in thick walls.
There I stood in premeditated assault in belief that we were on separate sides defending what we perceived as right.
Alone our boots shook the ground that trembled in fear.
Hidding behind walls completely missing the point that if we truly fought for the same cause,
Who'd truly win if we continued. Destroying nothing but ourselves in the process
Hallmark cards on a row
A multitude of emotion
Nothing is ever time wasted,
just the interlude to the rest of the album. Soon it becomes nostalgia. To think you almost pressed the skip button..
It's all about trying new things.
Slowing were briding the gap.
Looping untold tales of blues and jazz into our samples.
The things considered classical.
The things we keep hidden in headphones,
The venerability of hype.
It's always about the crowd.
Afraid to digest something different.
This was the first time I met her.
At first I laughed,
Reaction that I faced my own ignorance.
Listening again finding purpose.
Not knowing that we'd come to spend the rest of our lives together.
All three minutes and forty five seconds.
I was dishonest.
Not revealing anything real about myself until I heard it for the first time.
The first time she sung.
This wasn't an image to be upheld in front of others.
Or the gossip type spread circle to circle.
I was never exposed to this.
Skimming the top layer ready to press next.
Too far caught in the slander that first impressions can give.
History often repeats itself but this wasn't the case.
This was wholeheartedly the epitome of how she effected me.
The rhythm of how she moved.
How she spoke.
Like that I matured almost instantly.
She became my biggest influence.
A two way street that bridged the gap of my own ignorance.
After time I began to leave my headphones on the dresser.
We were amplified.
She'd follow me everywhere just as I'd follow her.
Soon it caught on to the masses.
Each and every thought became a publicist of what she'd recite over and over again.
A parental advisory issued with every cover.
Finding the one became a catalog.
Stumbling back to the first interlude all over again.
The copyright not for sell
She felt my thirst.
Grabbing my legs lifting me in the air.
I had no idea what was about to happen.
The plastic removed from my face, the breath of life.
I felt comfort in her hands.
The places that were cold were no longer.
I've never felt a warmth like the one she provided.
The softness of her hands.
The way I sunk into her eyes.
For the first time I felt special.
Like my voice could finally be heard.
My thirst forever quenched.
Head driven first into a glass of milk.
I drunk until my head swelled.
Her hand never leaving my side.
Although I drunk my body remained slim.
No matter how self conscious I felt she reassured she would always smile.
I swirled in emotion, an eternal need that would forever be purpose
It's true though.
Any happiness you felt began with you first.
You didn't wait, you rephrased it as a smile.
You felt a way because my passion could never justify.
Only reinforce what you felt to begin with.
You felt a way because you respect yourself to be yourself.
The emotional boundaries of your well being.
Thus I awaited your permission before taking the first step.
Initially paraphrasing your smile.
The importance of being treated the way I'd like to be treated.
Holding your stare to create a sense of security.
A safety that went without ill-intention.
Not because you fill your jeans or the fact that your well put together.
What's meant to be is what's meant to be.
What's the rush.
Although true, you felt a way because I never crossed any of your boundaries.
A generational gap between "hey lets chill." and "I'd love to take you out."
The honesty of eyebrows highlighting life goals in full view of the sun.
While the sky attends it's breakfast.
Reservation in the clouds.
The embodiment of grace
I love the way she calls.
She uses all the elements of the stars,
The universe itself.
Her voice floats, gently calming my nerves.
If I could be anywhere, I'd be anywhere by her side.
Where everything except her voice is silent.
She calls from beyond the reach of telephone lines and stringy wires.
If she were to ever whisper, I'd always hear her beckoned call.
Often times it feels that I am on angel wings.
Each time that she calls.
So I wrote to myself.
It's not that I didn't have anyone else to write or vice versa.
What conveys is a generosity of deep truth found with over 1,000 jokes printed on the cover.
Truth be told it's actually more than that.
I am not exactly what you would call a handsome man, but you'd be surprised how much you cross someones mind when they are in need.
So I wrote to myself.
An embodiment that grew legs of it's own.
Kind of like missing out on something that's been in front of you the whole time.
The irony of free will.
A change of scenery, a fresh coat of paint.
It's like nothing ever happened.
I guess that's the inside joke of another day
My heart was like a mail box.
Waiting for one piece of mail in particular.
A special letter hand delivered.
The promise of sealed flap, carefully stamped addressed perfectly.
Scented in heavy anticipation.
There I stood in different variation of weather.
Going from hot to cold, the thought alone keeping me warm, closed in.
Suppressing everything that I held in.
The flutter of ads, bills, and different envelopes addressed to other P.O boxes helped build this anticipation.
Waiting for the moment I could open my mouth and accept you for everything you are.
Pouring your heart out in full stationary fashion.
Without hands to satisfy such anticipation.
To open such a flap and grant myself the gift of you kind of puts us in awkward disposition.
But the urgency of it all is as clear as day
Let's just be.
Truth be told some things are just hard to write about.
The over complication of all the things we consider important
as well as the same exact things we tend to ignore when tension reaches it's highest.
Let's just be.
Why relive all of the wrong parts that we over exaggerate to be life as we know it.
Not at all stating that we should be completely lazy.
But When we wake up let's just be.
Be more than what we already are with no reason at all.
To embrace all the beneficial factors that come with the simplicity of a heart filled smile.
Plunging head first in the cover of arms- warm and tender.
The flavor of cinnamon brown swirl.
Fleeting in delicious curiosity.
Let's shut out the world and just be.
Until we both fall asleep.
4 am, Late night conversation.
Not too far from where you stay.
Truth be told some things are just hard to write about.
But of all my favorite things, I love telling you all of these things
When your laying beside me
Though my appetite is full
I still hunger, though not in the hopes of not becoming
Though your time is all I could ask.
I still find myself selfish, learning to preserve this taste.
For your attention.
A meaningful conversation that reveals all, spoken or non spoken.
Not at all stating that I would find my fill else where.
This craving that exists even while your near.
Often times I find restraint in thought, allowing you to be yourself
not cluttered every moment of the day.
More so it's the emphases I express in times of deep need.
This hunger that wallows within longing to be fed.
I am capable of this manifestation of thought.
But without you, I am simply lost in hunger.
Hoping you'd empathize
I visit this tree each and every day.
From the steams, to the fruit to the leaves.
Each part is a different part of her.
She blossoms in spurts.
Her leaves lost in the wind.
Hiding how ticklish she really is.
She keeps the best part of her high up on the branches.
Inspiring me to reach higher.
Knowing that arms reach wouldn't satisfy either of us.
Old pieces of her falling off to wither.Rot.
The parts of her that weren't ready to share.
I love every bit of it.
To sit and reconcile under the shade of her leafy dress.
Beautiful and strong.
We rustle ourselves in the comfort of each others company.
Taking our time to climb the ladder of branches.
I am always happy to see her.
Taking the seeds that she gives.
Planting them all around her.
Until we reveal everything there is, about ourselves.
In beautiful coincidence.
Taking our time to climb her beautiful branches
I didn't fall in love with you.
I stood there unaware.
Unsure If anything was suppose to happen.
While standing I had no purpose to fall,
Not while standing.
I caught myself beneath the waterfall of everything I hoped you'd be.
With one step everything changed.
I fell in love.
Plunging feet first beneath the water that fell on my head.
The beginning of Infatuation.
Like anything else I panicked.
My head completely covered in water.
Soaked in what seemed to be eternity.
My lungs sought the next breath.
To swim in the essence of everything you are.
This beautiful world you keep hidden beneath skin.
I plunged deep.
Swept by the chill that cascaded down my spine.
Deep down a thought arose.
One that never before crossed my mind.
That I have never experienced anything this beautiful.
What if I never reach the top.
To watched a new life start,
To die in the same instance
I never thought twice about it
Catching a glimpse of her from behind.
Red stilettos, long slender legs
Tight black dress,
Orb like body.
Though the thought of approaching her never crossed my mind
I noticed that one of her stilettos came off as she hurried to wherever she was headed.
I made haste, calling out to grab her attention reaching to grab the missing shoe before she got too far in front of me.
She hesitated coming to a complete stop.
Seeming that she was one of those girls that was always on the go.
Very accomplished, well educated.
But her here, out of all places.
Something seemed off.
She gave the appearance that she had to make it to wherever she was going
So I rushed the shoe over to her.
The thought of something so innocent never crossed my mind to be so fatal.
The closer I approached the stiller she became.
Alone in the dark,
Along the troubles of the world this I understood and assured her that I meant no harm.
Shoe in hand, I extended my arm attempting to give her shoe back.
I took one more step,
At this pivotal moment is where I wished that gut instinct kicked in.
At this same exact moment is when she turned around.
Revealing that not all was what it appeared to be.
An couple sets of extra eyes, a few extra legs.
This was where my arachnophobia began
There was a time when I sat still.
Soaking in unavoidable truth.
Choosing instead to sit and bathe in a world of thought.
The sun peeked through the window, concerned by the calmness
that struck my lips.
A sudden grip of the edge of the tub over by the sink.
A witness to this random disorder of paused lips.
Each drop of water soaked, dried with a towel.
Coming to the conclusion that I myself was naive.
That the longer I stared into this mirror,
that It wasn't my reflection that I was seeking.
It was hers all along
And out of the blue drops an awkward moment
The kind of awkward moment where nothing in itself is awkward.
Just a moment that passes in complete silence where nothing is actually wasted
No focal point, nothing to rebuttal.
The kind of moment that is considered awkward, usually right before revealing the same exact thought.
The same exact expression.
Just a matter of opinion. Expressing the simplistic.
How awkward would it be if I were to think of you in a moment where there was nothing else to do.
A moment of vulnerability In an affair of stating the obvious, there is no way I'd consider this out of the blue though.
Really and truly there isn't anything of importance that can be found here,
Except the color blue but then again that should be obvious. Like how unimportant was that really?
You could have went the whole day without nothing being said. Just based off the thought alone.
I suppose the only thing that makes it somewhat awkward is that I didn't.
And really I just used a lot of unnecessarily long but short words to tell you that you were on my mind.
I know right, the perfect *******. And to think you were probably doing something important.
But since I now have your attention and we're just throwing things up out of the blue.
What color ******* Are you wearing? Are they the see through purple ones or the red see through ones
I took a deep breath.
Following the mystery of a simple smell.
A familiar place taken deep within my lungs.
A perfume light scented but sweet.
She'd dab it around the rounds of her neck.
Twice on her wrists.
The wind spreading her essence to my nose.
Following a glare then a smile.
Just when I thought there was nothing left to share.
She'd bathe in dial antibacterial.
Cleasing her neck of a smell that I remember so vividly.
A perfume light scented but sweet.
The smile and bite of a quivering bottom lip.
Just when I thought that nothing else could be shared.
Someone walked passed with a familiar scent.
Taking me back to a familiar feeling that I only felt when I was around you
As long as you're away
I will continue to look up at the sky
Longing that you'll gravitate back to me.
Even though you're far,
You're never at all that far from me.
For in my deepest thought I am curled up
in the brightest star that I named after you.
No matter how dark the sky I will always find you.
Gazing back upon me, curious as to how we travel so many miles.
In so little time.
Even on the darkest night
I know that you're still there.
Your love the brightest of stars.
As long as you're away
this star is always closer than it appears
No matter how far you are
I love your eyes.
Wet, filled with desire.
I love them most when they stare back into mine.
Not a word needs to be said.
A breath between us two,
Each craving met, my eyes trailing yours.
The way they bend shut when your legs stretch out
and your arms wrap around me.
The natural curling of toes
When your eyes widen before closing tight.
I love looking into your eyes.
This feel good feeling that interrupts each kiss.
A gasp filled behind closed eyes.
A roaring ****** that rumbles behind them.
The arch felt across the small of your back.
Bridging the gap of a swaying bridge.
Your body in the comfort of my hands.
A soft kiss below your temple.
Welcoming your shyness.
Those eyes that follow the movement of your head.
I love the way you look at me and bite your bottom lip.
Welcoming the audience of my eyes.
Catching every glimpse,
Not a thought held back behind those eyes.
Our passion held between us two.
Lost in the rumble of how your body trembles.
Over and over,
Until your fast asleep
With a much more serious face nowadays,
Deeper in tone. Quick in wit.
The question now is what's wrong.
The deep thought that plagues a curious mind.
Am I wrong for smiling at such a question,
The fact that something appears to be wrong.
Thus must be it.
In fact nothing is wrong.
Just a random impulse I suppose.
To reign in as a material savior,
Something seen in flesh. The curve of eyes.
Everything would be better now, right.
Supplying you with a simple answer that appears to be solution to your unjust problem.
To what means dictates that I reveal every thought.
Just because you ask of it.
Single bodied to one word.
By then would you be justified leaving me empty.
Outside appearances are indeed deceiving then, right.
Making assumption to problematic gesture.
In the end should we both then be disappointed.
The promise of a future with no past.
Decorative in a sense.
Made to fill the gaps of silence,
If at all it eases your mind.
No, nothings wrong.
The mere fact that I like that your leading me on
Reveals a lot about how I feel about you, continuing to sit here.
In fact, I implore you to continue.
Tell me more of your infectious lies.
What do you really think of me.
Fill the gaps of my curiosity.
The single body that you speak of contains more than one word.
Educate me on the subject of your well being.
Am I worth touching on in thought.
Do I bore you this much.
Don't speak, I fear I know the answer already.
I've become immune to your poison.
I adore it so.
Outside appearances are deceiving.
Quite so, point of the matter.
You were waiting all along for me to ask you
Her roar could be heard.
Standing there, vibrant leopard print.
The sun distant behind her.
Her hair a celebration of pink and blue.
Her fist and feet swirl in uninterrupted chant.
The empress of tomorrow.
Without surrender her roar grows louder.
How often she laughs and smiles
Walking down to the ring.
A stripe across her face in raw emotion.
Standing 5'3 she will not be stopped.
Emerging yet again victorious.
A lioness draped in vibrant hue.
Her mask is off.
Inside the ropes there's no place to run, no place to hide.
The empress of tomorrow stares into the rising sun.
Hand rose in victory