I made plans.
Thought it was all in my hands.
I thought this was sent from above.
I thought I had found love.
I opened up, I let it out, thinking that this was freedom for me.
But who could have known that this is what would defeat me.
Endless tears, longing for something that could never be mine.
But in my mind, I thought all I needed was time.
Time to persuade her into loving me as much as I loved her.
But if it's true love, why do I have to persuade her?
Persuasion is needed because I need to prove that 'I' deserve the larger half of her heart.
The other half is for a man, who had her 'whole' heart from the start.
But I said, "I got this, I'll win."
Not thinking it's not mines to win and ultimately in the end, it's still his.
Always was, is, and will be.
But what about me?
She said "she loved me and we could have a life."
I should have been thinking "how and you're a wife?"
In the end, I'm left hurt, mad, sad.
.....But why am I so hurt, mad, and sad, for losing something I never had?