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I have become one with the mountains,
As stone, steadfast and immovable,
Unshakeable, even as the earth quakes
Beneath my feet.
I am a marvel, in my fidelity,
Remaining loyal to the plane in which I exist,
Regardless of sleet, snow, or flood.
I bow not to the storms of life,
Nor am I swayed by the tides of destiny,
I cower for none, for I am the pinnacle of spirit,
Standing firm and without apology,
Amidst the rubble of the earth.

I watch as the sands erode,
And the winds are lost to time,
Witnessing the birth and death of worlds,
As a surplus of souls are reclaimed.
I mourn unabashedly still, at my peak,
My prominence unimportant in the face of emotions,
I am no less human -
Though at times, I may wish to be so.

In my resilience, I am ironwood, steely and firm,
And though I may waver in my struggle,
I flail not in my stance,
Thriving in stability,
Seeking to find a parity in energies.
I discover a reliable peace in this equilibrium,
Knowing beyond logic,
The value of self -  
The essential balance of soul, spirit, mind, and body.
Tied to the earthly plane by flesh and materialism,
By the demons of fear lurking in crevices of mind.
Inundated by pools of emotion, we drown repeatedly,
Feet never touching ground in enlightment,
Still, we are casualties in the ****** war waged by time.

Our Hacksaw Ridge, a ledge, we struggle to ascend,
Attempting a perilous climb, grappling mountains of uncertainty.
And troves of us fail, falling back to the gravitational pull of pain,
Victims of life, we are flummoxed by the chaos,
Running around like headless chickens,
Clucking senselessly, the entire time.

Nevertheless, we live to fight another day,
A spark of kundalini, coiled at the base of spine,
Unconscious of our inherent power, we are taken in by physicality,
The agonies beneath skin, insecurity and anxiety, crippling,
Stifling and overpowering, but not unconquerable.
An existential contemplation, we turn the pages of the book of life,
Wandering valleys of past experiences, unknowing of why.

The awakening is slow - questions like lava, broiling sluggishly in volcano,
Until it becomes a waterfall of fire, consuming every thought in it's path.
But these living flames have come to destroy only the system we built,
One that has long outlived it's usefulness and efficiency,
And is now a leash around the necks of us, whose eyes have been opened,
For whom these shallow fulfillments can never fill,
Whose spirits are restless and ready, now that the alarm has been rung.

This hamster wheel cannot replace the dimensional cycles of existence,
We are simply, running a race to nowhere, exhausting our wills.
Hoping to smell the roses, it is senseless then,
That we be constantly in motion, not knowing where we're headed,
But going all the same, until the wheel is wrecked by omnipotence,
And the secrets of sphere are revealed to conscious mind.

We have no choice in the aftermath, but to break chains,
To demand liberation, and force the hands of fate to open,
To perform discovery of self, an archaeological dig site of graves,
Becoming accomodated with death, it's skeletal fingers comforting.
Embodying the inner god, we make miracle of resurrection,
Laying hands on deadened souls, we come alive amidst darkness,
Casting life into body, we chase away shadows of doubt,
Becoming spirit in temporary skin, shining light on the journey,
Leading those who would follow, to the entrance of a true awakening.
Amidst the drought you bring flood,
An overflow of energies
Meant to heal, to protect, to guide.
You send forth surges of truth,
Burning away evil intentions,
Revealing secrets of earth,
And exposing the lies of men.

In your power, you reign,
Omnipresent and omnipotent,
Cleansing the spirit of weakness,
Your strength flowing like rivers.
A symbol of royalty -
You embody the qualities of deity,
Protecting the masses,  
By provoking the awakening.

Your claws pierce the hides of the enemy,
Your maw a doorway to deliverance,
Spilling gospel as you spew flames,
Destruction superseded by rebirth on plane.
The havoc you wreak is necessary,
For the blind have lain comfortable in ignorance,
The old must be devoured to invoke conception,
The breaking of moulds formed since system's inception,
Must be induced to inspire reflection;

The dismantling of corruption has begun,
And it starts with you and I (eye).
I could not express her story (history)
In so few a word,
Her tale, not so easily grasped,
Wrestled by ink, or captured on page,
Still, I could write her into song,
Into script, into play,
And still not contain her essence,

For the self is not tangible,
The ego, not so concrete,
It is all so much more... conceptual,
More supposition and faith,
Less rigid in structure and being,
More, free - fluid, and everchanging,
As whimsical as the summer breeze,
Neither eternal or brief,
But omnipresent all the same,
As everything of this existence must go,
The only thing a surety, is that all things flow,

For in this plane,
There is nothing that is entirely true,
Nothing guaranteed, or completely seen,
Without tainting the view,
Be it through perception or ideology,
With the intention of labelling,
Of condensing the inexplicable into something,
Simple...but she is, incompressible, truly,
She is... beyond just anyone's comprehension.
Maybe millions of light years away,
There are a people,
Born of stardust and soul, as we were,
Searching for purpose in the meadows of sky,
Unable to still the discontent in their minds,
Taught that there were naught to believe in,
Beyond that which lives before their eyes;

Maybe they ache for connection,
A hunger deep, and consuming,
As they toil seemingly in vain,
Yearning to find some sign of meaning,
Craving more than the empty ideals given,
Desperate to escape the constraints of religion,
To break free of the rat-race,
To venture off of the fruitlessly narrow trail,
A path that leads nowhere, but around,
A snake eating it's tail,
An infinity, in the darkness of ignorance.

Or maybe they surpassed us aeons ago,
Welcomed the light of cosmos as we have not,
Embraced the self, and all that it is,
And completed the journey of enlightenment,
Awakening, then teaching those who slumbered,  
Until they were all consciously connected,
Surpassing the concepts of 3rd, 5th, & 7th dimensions,
Regaining the abilities long hidden in subconscious,
To create, to heal, to transcend realms, as they once did;
Maybe, a few of those starseeds live amongst us now,
And maybe they came, to show us how.
Nicola Pillai Mar 20
She saved it for a rainy day
When she longed to have her fix
A withdrawal from the nostalgia bank
Would certainly do the trick
For it was among her most treasured memories
A quick revisit she knew would suffice
Not to undo life's wonderful blessings
But to simply feel everything twice
Sometimes I really do feel like an alien in my own skin,
Like I could twist and turn, transform and try,
All the years of my life and still not get it right.
I don't know who made it that way.
Couldn't tell you where the notion developed,
Or who proved to be truth before I did.
I don't know which artist created this outline,
Sketched it in ink, and entitled it a lifestyle -
One I once dared not color outside the lines of.

But I figure, if I cannot be a Mona Lisa of a painting,
I could be a more original, less world reknown piece
Because the regard of outside perspectives is less important
Than the quality of art produced in me.
Maybe I've been too focused on the colors already on the palette,
Instead of the mountains of shades I could imagine.
Maybe the skin I wear is black, like mourning, like darkness,
But these shadows make it possible to appreciate light.
Maybe the issue isn't me. Maybe I just need a new canvas,
One that resembles my possibilities and not my limitations.
One that allows room for breath, and exploration, and mistakes -
That isn't stifled with labels, or schemes, or systems.
And maybe I have to create that for myself.

Sometimes, I really do feel like an alien in my own skin,
But that doesn't make it any less mine,
Nor any less worthy of love.
And maybe I can love this martian without having all the answers,
Or even a planet or plane to belong to.
Maybe the person behind the pen, or pencil, or paintbrush, is me,
If I decide to be.
I fear not battle, nor trial or journey,
I fear not mountains, nor plains or valleys,
I fear not enemy, nor entity or inner me,
I fear not stillness, nor silence or serenity.
I fear no man, no woman, no deity,
I fear no concept, nor idea in it's ambiguity,
I fear no system, religion or theory,
Fear no oppressor, no judge, no jury.
I fear no place, no time, no state of being,
I fear no vengeance, no riots, no villian's besieging,
I am no victim, no village pillaged,  
I will not put forth entreaty;  
Nor will I beseech thee pardon.

I need not, for my cup never empties,
And blessed be,
I am who I'm meant to be,
I am who I'm going to be,
I am where I'm supposed to be,
And nothing can dissuade me.
My course is set in stone,
Universe paved path of growing,
Story already written, unfolding,
I bear witness, only...
Today I gave in
I went back to bed  
Surrendered to the voices
Inside my head

The incessant noise  
Playing tag with my mind
I tried to find reason
Claim back what was mine

I looked for a way
To shake it right off
A stretch
Work out  
A simple walk

Instead I thought,
If I just close my eyes
I'd cease analysing
The anguish  
Building up inside

I lay there as the music
Fed my soul
Little by little
I took back control

Today was a day  
Where I learnt something new
Being still, is a skill
A tough craft to do

For in my stillness
Radiance will shine through
My super power
My strength
My greatest virtue
Late nights
Toast fests
Shopping in the city
Long chats
Silly dancing
Trying to look pretty

Tears of joy
Some of sadness
An emotional rant or two
Six weddings
A few funerals
Five babies, my three, your two

The good, the bad, we were all we had
The list goes on, it's endless
The challenges life threw our way
Always learning and trying to comprehend it

I had your back
You had mine
Life was good and we lived it
Completely oblivious, no notion of time
Our all - we certainly did give it

So next chapter sis, with this year ahead
Time, is of the essence
Let’s make new memories, relish this life
Take stock and count our blessings
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