My voice is loud
To make an echo in my soul
I came in eyes wide
Like a whirlwind
And shook up a storm of a man.

Decay and rust what once was gold
Now common copper
Broken homes
You promised the world
And left empty handed.

The thunderclaps of your touch
How do you leave what eats you up?
Addicted to your darkness
Cause when I see sun
It rips apart my sadness.

I'm delirious with delusions
I envisioned more than this
But your touch is hot like fire
And I still long for your kiss
When I'm alone at night, do you remember this?

Bound men frown quietly
Bound by pressures of society
To be a man but you're a boy
And boys just have to play with toys
Not girls, not women you see
But I hope you remember me.

What wonders await me?
The void of the unknown beckons me
Down, down, to where my feet have never reached
Through soil and stone
Lies mystery.
Do I dare tempt fate?
And flirt with death
As I lean across the bar
Ask for ***** and regrets
If I reach the other side
What do I have left?

It's worse when you trust them
They know just what to say
To make your ears bleed
"You owe me bae"
I laugh at your ignorance
You heartless pig
I don't owe you ****
I never did.

But this Stockholm syndrome
It always drags me back
I'm a ghost to your words
You're my present and past
"***** - say you're my *****"
Do you love me baby?
Cause it just doesn't mean ****.

I laid in the bed
And I know where he sleeps
I know all your obsessions
All your filthy dreams
But you're just a boy
You'll never be my man
Oh B. You never learn
I have the upper hand.

I crave to be near
But you burn me at the touch
You leave your mark on me
And I use you like a crutch
When you smile I feel our spark
And when you frown I just smell smoke
Stuck in a cycle I'm left in the dark
But without you I would choke.

I tell the world I'm invincible
That the words they say don't lacerate my skin
That every time I look in the mirror
I am happy with who I am
What I am, who I've been.

I tell the world I'm invincible.
That I go to bed each night with happy dreams.
That every time I fall in love
I am content with loving them
Wanting them, them having me.

I tell the world I'm invincible.
That nothing in the world can hold me down
That every time you crush my walls
I'll build myself up
Never cry, never frown.

I know inside I'm not invincible.
But I tell myself to make it all okay
So every time I crumble at 3am
I'll move on from it
I'll make something from it, I'll grow, I'll change.

If you shot me with a gun
I'd probably apologise to you
I say sorry for everything
Cause that is what I've learnt to do
They tell me not to say I'm sorry
Cause it's not like it's my fault
But I just want to make them happy
And it kills me when they're not.

If someone you loved had passed away
I'd probably blame it on myself
Cause everything is my fault
I'll keep my problems on my shelf
They tell me not to apologise for my existence
But what a sorry existence I am
I crave someone to make me happy
But no one out there gives a ****.

They say I need to learn to say no
But the words won't leave my mouth
And even when I am not happy
I'll try not to make a sound
And I can learn to find my voice
Or I can stay in the same place
I know I'll never be happy
If I keep putting on a brave face
So tonight I'll rest my bones
And when the sun comes up at dawn
I wont apologise for you
No I won't say sorry to you any more.

Wild;
The lines are obscured
Between who is there to feed you
And who is out there for themselves.
You're a parasite, you pacify my voice
So I can't scream it's muffled
In my messed up brain
I go insane to take my rains off.

Beast;
The mirror is obscured
Between what is real to me
And what is the real world.
You're an animal you amplify my need to run
Away in darkness
To a wasteland where
I find my place and I am my own boss.

I'm losing myself
Trying to make people happy
Who can never truly be pleased
I'm spreading my wings
Only for the feathers to be plucked away
You leave me bare
Not even dignity to protect me -
Yet I know there are no gates of heaven waiting for me
I'm no pure angel
But please "salvate" me
So I'm losing a battle over and over
I'm ****** to purgatory.

Never be the perfect daughter that’s the truth
I’ll dry **** hard
But I just want to hold on to my youth
The sun is blaring through the blinds
But I’m still lying in bed
It’s the only way I make it through the day
Feeling half dead
I walked along the road
Adrenaline rushed through
My heart palpitating
As if my brain
Already knew that I didn’t give a ****
If the car crashed too
And my heart will stop
And my face turns blue.

And I have no ******* cigarettes
To smoke my lung into
The cinder in my heart
Is the only anger I once knew
I’m a ghost of the girl
I was a fragment of the past
You told me that I was a naughty girl
And slapped me on the ***
Cause my heart is stuck in
The centre of a seesaw
I can’t go up or down
Without feeling lost or used
And the ******* letters
Circled on my work book
Tell me to try a little harder
But I’m too misunderstood.

If I had any heart left
I would throw it out to you
Tell you that you ******* own it
So do with it what you choose
And I know I must have a heart left
Cause I feel it break every day
So I fill it up with sawdust
And I’ll toss it in the bay.

Sometimes I wish I’d never met you
Sometimes I’m glad you’re in my life
But I never really feel enough
And you really stuck the knife
In twisted it it’s stuck
Can’t make it go away
You told me you were in love with me
The only person to say
And I’ve seen happiness go
Like the night stealing the day
In my desperation
I will do what you want  
If you will stay
Cause I cannot see the difference
Between love and pain
I could love you or hate you
But I’d still feel the same
I want you in my arms
Just to make it go away
But when you kiss me on my mouth
I always end up naked again
So I breathe in the fumes
Just to clear my lungs
And I’ll ******* out of sadness
**** I’ll ******* out of love.

A generation fuelled by ***
It makes me feel so depressed
They value me for my skills in bed
Rather than the brains in my head
I give and give and give to feel
Like I'm a worthy individual
And yet inside I still feel numb
Cause I will never be their one
Their only, they've got all their other girls
And its so easy to judge people off their body
Than on their values and moral codes
I ache to love, I live to feel
But I'd give it all up for something that is real.

Some of my best friends
I've found in my darkest times
When all the ones you felt closest to
Have slipped away
The true ones show.
They reach out to the depths of your heart
Like a blanket of comfort
Shelter from the snow
And cradle us with kind words,
With sincerity.
And that's how you know
That even when the rain falls
And you lose all hope
They will not stray like lost sheep
They will cling like leeches
And **** the poison out.

I find serenity in storms
The slams of doors make my heart race
And if you trace your finger's down my spine
I'll give you an earful
Of distasteful pleasure
I'll juxtapose any situation
For the most fun I can find
Oh I love being hard to read darling
I want you to open my closed eyes
And if you read me like a story
I will lie dear oh I'll lie
And cover up my deepest fears
And conceal everything I despise
I love to hate and hate to love
Those I regret most I crave
So lay me on the darkest train tracks
And pray that I will be safe.

I'm a drunken mess
I cant evem typed pribperly
Must have kissed 6 people tonights
and all mmy mates havbte me
yay.

Cheekbones so sharp you cut through diamond
Your gaze pierces my soul
I'm naked though I'm fully clothed
Bruised eyes, ****** knuckles tell it all.

I meet you where nobody goes
The grey sky marks the open road
To love so deep and live with nothing
This longing now is all I know.

Fight for me with all your jealous rage
If I have you I need nothing more
So drive away and live on adventure
Feel the fire in your core

I indulge in this decadence
This raw passion tears me apart
To die so loved would feel like heaven
So shoot your bullets through my heart.

I breathe in the fumes
Intoxicated states of pure bliss
In the form of headaches
I feel quietly numb.

Huffing away the days
To forget what's going wrong
In my solvent haze
I remember you have gone.

I breathe in the fumes
I medicate myself with bleach
These tendencies last weeks
I fear it may be my last breath it takes.

I slam the breaks on my mind
Reverse. Reverse. Reverse.
Back to a time where everything was trivial.
Where it didn't matter if I tripped up
Cut my knees
Cause they could heal...
Broken things could be repaired.

And now I wonder
Am I too far gone to mend my self?
My troubled head
And fix the way I think about life
I often dwell on death instead.

They tell me: imagine the things you say to yourself now
Are what you are saying to your childhood self
Are these things ok to say to a child?
Or should you shut your mouth?

I slam the accelerator of my mind
Forward. Forward. Forward.
Towards a brighter time ahead.
Where it doesn't matter if I mess up
Be reckless
Cause in time things will heal.
Broken things can be repaired.

I am rotten
I am plagued by my own soul
An anti-Midas causing ****
Everywhere I go.

I am broken
And no one understands
How lonely it feels to put your worth
In everyone else's hands.

I am sorry
If I have ever broken your heart
It makes me feel in control
To keep my barriers up.

I am happy
When I am in your arms
And all the pain it goes away
I'm protected from harm.

I am just me
I'm a wounded complicated thing
Although I may not show it much
I appreciate everything my life brings.

A serenade to the crowd
The applaud white noise to my ears
As I perform to please
To tempt, to tease.

Divine indulgence
A guilty pleasure they seek
I undress myself with grace
I pout, I pose with ease.

Its only art
And baby I play a character so well
A show-stopper
They swoon, but they never tell.

In my oblivion I loved you
Eyes wide, I idolised you.
My boss, my king, my only.
Hold me? Do you love me now?
Do you love me now I'm on my knees howling?
I'm bowing down to you
Cause that's all I know how to do
Darling?
Do you still miss me?
Do I still make you happy like I did that day?
I'm choking on memories
Holding back months of tears
Cause I'm lonely.
You say you want me
But you don't really want me
You just want to own me.
So I stray to feel like my soul is still holy
Cause I have fought myself
For so long now do you see?
So in this endless naivety I'll keep you
But you'll never own me darling.
You'll never own me.

My mind is full of tirades
A tempest fills my brain
I've lost a part of myself in love before
How gullible I've been.
Would you rather I pour my heart out?
Spill my passion let me bleed?
I apologise. **** myself in front of your eyes.
Take off my mask so you can see where my vulnerability lies.

I crashed into the room
My eyes red from the tears
My mascara heading south
My mind away with the fairies
You rolled me up
And smoked me
Like the world
Wanted you out
Cause I am just your ******
Soon there will be another girl.

You said one minute I was happy
Next minute I’m coming down
I was never really hungry
Cause I kept you on my mouth
You stayed clean for a while
Until you needed me again
Cause I was just your ******
And you stubbed me out back then.

And a few months later
You ask me how I've been
I say I've been ******* great
Although lying is a sin
No I'm not sure if
I’ll ever see you again
Cause you moved on from your legals
Yeah you moved onto 'Mandy'.

My trail of thought left with the train in the distance
Do not disturb my blissful ignorance
Because it's a long way to jump from here
Adrenaline rushing through a tunnel of thoughts
As tangled as a tube map
I stand at the crossroads of my life
Mindlessly dodging traffic.

The sadness came like a car crash
The hope of the open road and blue skies
Overcame with rain and darkness.
The kind of sadness that tears through your chest
Like the seatbelt saving you is all you have left.

There's a kind of fantasy
In the immortality of memories
Where I remain
In a glass frame
Caged in youth
I age by the day.

A fond departure my dear
In the winds I linger
Not by your hands I leave
But by your heart I remain.

A bitter departure my dear
In your thoughts I linger
By your words I leave
But in your memories I remain.

Life as an island, there's such solitude
Every syllable an echo
The time is unknown when there is only you
Everyone is an island
Their own little world
A canvas in which to paint
A garden in which to grow.

I always believed that my shores were untouchable
Little boats enter inside the borders
But that's as far as they ever go...
Until one day
You stood at the mast
Took your lasso, pulled the rope
And dragged me into your waters
Built a bridge between islands.
Formed a continent with your company.

Your love is a cigarette
The instant relief of your embrace
Lasts only a second
And then I'm left with a bitter taste
Charcoal lungs.

Yet I yearn for more
I know you're bad for me
But soon our flame will burn black
So I'll let our love cool
And I'll stub it out.

Darts formed in the mouth
Fire through the heart like bullets
And you know you're in the wrong
But your blood boils and at boiling point
You lose all sense of morality and justness
And eye up your opponent
Trying to weigh up your options
Oh where did I go wrong?
Are we fighting to make up the passion we used to share?
Oh lay me bare on the battlefield
Spill your guts, put down your weapons
And as we come to an end of fighting
Hold our hands up and surrender
We notice that no one can remember
Why we started in the first place
And we fall next to each other
Waiting for the next round
Waiting to see who the champion will be...

It's not yet winter but the cold has crept in
And wilted the flowers that grew in the spring
I saw death in the darkness
He said "hello" to me
As he plucked all the leaves from the branches of trees.

But I also saw life in the faces of those
Holding hands and laughing as though waiting for snow
Maybe death is a gift - oh I know this is true
It gives us a chance to live life to the full.

Life forms come out of hiding after winter has gone
From their slumber awake but their journeys move on
Because time waits for no one, they say time heals wounds
I don't want to compare you to creatures
But there's an animal in you.

You can ravage the beauty like winter does too
But there will always be beauty in a world without you.

Find a moment in which the world stops
Becomes idle for a second
Gives space to a dying mind
The membrane of a society
Driven by illusions
Is it all a façade?
The wicked ways we count our money
As if it was worth more than our soul
Worth more than sacred bodies
The wild girls tamed by the men
To close their mouths and hold their tongues
Powerless, hands bound by the ropes of promises
Promises wider than oceans
I swim deep in them
Never satisfied by a life in cold captivity
I insist these doors are left open
Submissive, obey the quiet mouths hard actions
Aching for touch, aching for love
This pretence I figure
To be a shell of what it is in books
An empty box
Embezzled with jewels
Is still an empty box
Your touch remains empty
Your heart turns it’s back to me
Turns it’s back to the warrior girls
With eyes bright with fire
Now eyes dark with ash
Now ask yourself
When did you lose the fight
Against dismissiveness?
Abandoned by the hunters
But the fights of women outweigh
Those of man
Disregarded as merely an object
But do not be fooled
My roar is louder than the thunder of a storm
My bite is harder than the sting of a hand against a thigh
My heart is larger than the mountains you can climb
My words are powerful they can break your spine
My love is fierce, as ferocious as I.