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Aaron LaLux Sep 16
...so strong she was,
for being so delicate,
I asked her how her molestations had happened,
so she could express herself & maybe make some sense of it,

she said she didn’t exactly know,
I asked her if she’d ever gone to the police,
she said definitely no, I asked her why not,
& what she said next seriously surprised me,
she said she never wanted to get the men in trouble,
because she felt sorry for the guys,
as much as they’d abused her,
she had pity for them & always tried to empathize,

this hit me like the heaviest of epiphanies, tears hit my eyes,

she said she’d talked to each one,
after they’d done what they’d done,
she talked to her father,
& also to her grandfather,
she told them she understood it wasn’t their fault,
they had a perverse disease that became a problem,
or more specifically a distorted sickness,
& that this cycle had to stop no there was no other option.

THIS CYCLE HAS TO BE STOPPED.

I shouldn’t have to be the voice for these girls,
& be the one that talks about ****,
she shouldn’t have to share these secrets with me secretly,
because these things shouldn’t happen in the first place,

but this is not a world of should’ves’ & could’ves’,
this is a world of exacts,
this is a world of loud brags & silent abuses,
& I’m sick of this sickness what’s wrong with us?...

excerpt from poem #32 of THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available worldwide 9/9/19 here: www.amazon.com/dp/1950780023

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆
Aaron LaLux Sep 11
From poem #27 of THHT3

...We all know what’s going on,
The Young & The Restless could be a list that’s forever long,
of confessions composed as a set list but not sung,
we all know They are attracted to the Innocent & Young,
because in the twisted logic, of their perverted minds’ tongue,
they think by being with children, they’ll stay Forever Young,
it’s disgusting, & I’m so ashamed of the city I’m from,
that I’m not even having kids, nope not even one,
because I already feel bad enough for those already born,  
wish I could warn every daughter & ever son,

& don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to single out Hollywood,
the problems are much more widespread just ask The Vatican,
or the over 800 Boy Scouts that say they were abused,
by the hands of those that were chose to lead as captains,

yeah man not much is mentioned but lots has sure happened,

lots of names go undisclosed in the drawers of the ****-Files,
Roman Polanski, R. Kelly, Brian Singer, Jeffery Epstein,
& those are just the ones that have been exposed,
we all know most crimes go untold,

& no please don’t take this the wrong way,
I’m not trying to say every celeb likes kids underage,
in fact most of those that act are kind, protect & fight back,
nor am I saying I always mean attraction in a ****** way,
I’m just saying I feel confused & it seems like everyone’s ***,
or at least strange & most don’t know how to behave,
& I want to care but these days who cares anyways,
I guess I don’t anymore, I just want to get away,

just want to escape, so I’m running away,

I’m leaving Neverland, never to return again,
I’m leaving Neverland, for real & forever man...

from The Hollywood Hills Trilogy vol. 3

I'm giving away 100 copies of my new book THHT3 for FREE right now on Instagram to the first 100 people that COMMENT and TAG a friend on my latest post. So go to my Instagram right now, @aaronlalux and tag someone in the comments so I can send you a digital copy of The Hollywood Hills Trilogy Vol 3 RIGHT NOW. No joke, for real, let's go! My instagram is @aaronlalux First 100 comments with tags ONLY. If you DON'T have Instagram just go directly to the Amazon page and leave a review of the book. If you review the book I'll also send you a copy for free, so there's TWO ways to get a free copy of my new book! Here's the Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD

∆ LaLux ∆
Zane McHarris Mar 2016
When we met, your body was in bloom,
Roses of purple black and blue,
Planted without care. Strewn about
the bed, your flesh now painted.

Frozen blue buds pushing
through snow, brushed onto skin.
The petals soft and smooth, spread
Across your body, like a vine.

Blossoms of summer, with shades of winter,
Their roots went deep, coiling and constricting.
They became your arteries and veins,
Your nerves and bones.

I cannot pull these flowers,
Without destroying part of you.
Only time and careful tending,
Will wither the roots.

Only when the flowers fade, if you
will let me, I will plant my seeds.
basil Jul 4
no
i told her,
she said
“do you want to take any legal action?”
i said
no
because i didn’t want to hurt you

i told her,
she said
it’s okay,
that people would want to explore my body.

i told you,
no,
i don’t want to do that anymore

i told you
no
and
you laughed.
Syd Hafner Jun 4
I was proud
of my new red swimsuit,
but I'm not proud
of it now

He touched the strap,
and said "look
around,
it's just us now",
so he helped me
undress
and threw my
suit on the
ground

Down by the river,
we didn't wear
our clothes
He put a finger
to his lips and said
no one could
know

Although
he grinned a
grin filled with guile,
At the time,
I mistook it for
a fatherly smile

I had been so proud
of my new red
swimsuit,
but I can't wear
a red swimsuit
now
family friends since we were small
tracing grout in linoleum floors
I watched your dad pull those tapes out
he drew his weapon you drew yores
I can't be mad I say to this day
generations cursed
my first boyfriend shook his head
"I thought I was your first?"
there was a lump in my throat
and I thought back to that game
little frog ran over by the cars
you taught me how to skip through lanes
first friend that I ever had
I still think that you knew better
simply "child's innocence"
crayon written apology letter
floral pattern sheets
I was a flower at full bloom
until you flung me on that bed
I wilted in that room
you told me sometimes that it hurts
but it'll be super quick
that I cannot say anything
people will think I'm sick
It all goes black soon after that
red stain, metal taste, a puncture
Did the right thing after the fact
though frozen like a sculpture
you went on and on again
and never really paid
those girls carried it with them
through 1st and 2nd grade
and now I am a grown up
with something in me hollow
a little froggy in my throat that I still cant seem to swallow
I told myself I'd get better
through hell or through high water
but then felt you pluck more petals
when I heard you had a daughter
Val Graz Apr 24
I try and try to tell my brain,
We're no longer in that place that caused us pain,
But no matter how many times I do,
I still end up back there with you,
You're the demon that rips me to shreds,
Makes me wish for a painless death,
Because I've been hurting for years,
Drowning, suffocating in these tears,
For you are the tormentor,
Holy than thou keymaster,
Never letting me go,
In my mind, no,

You have a hold on me,
That no one can see,
And I hate it so much,
Please just give it up,
Let your grasp go,
It's more painful than you know,

Your nails they dig in, ripping up carpet in your pleasure,
While I sit here confused about what going on, so sinister,
This plot that you executed, it must've taken time,
Planned out and carried out, not straying out of the lines,
If Satan had a body, I'd believe it was yours,
You're my hell on this ******* earth,
And I hate you so ******* much,
I hope you know at least that much,
You're a disgusting waste of space,
With an angels deceiving face,
And I will always be in that basement,
Wondering how to please escape it,

You have a hold on me,
That no one can see,
And I hate it so much,
Please just give it up,
Let your grasp go,
It's more painful than you know.
m Apr 22
flown over myself, the shedding feathers from black birds that follow me;
my own fingers, pluck the ends from out of my skin,
as the sky shifts,
as the bristling of dead trees offer no shelter,
no warmth from their bony arms.


it's easy to follow silence
i keep her nestled in the hollow of my throat & while it swims into my lungs
all i can do is float
on the squeaking mattress,
against his cold, huge hands
holding me there,
cornered around vibrational gasps.

my body is corroding
my limbs are severed
the insides are flowing out of me
like rushing water.

like, the tub,
filling with pink.
Its shaking stomach rocking me against rusting porcelain.


They sleep among the dead.
I sleep in their duggen-up graves.
here i am.
Val Graz Apr 19
When I'm feeling ***** because of what you did,
When I feel grungy cause of the things you said,
Because you were the greatest actress of them all,
And here I am taking your well deserved fall,
Sitting in my misery and pain and disgust,
While you sit pretty on your throne made of rust,
Because you're rotting from the inside,
And soon there will be no where left to hide,
From who you are, who you really are,
And I'll be over here, not giving one care,

Come feel ***** like me,
And then maybe you'll see,
Why I do what I do to not be me,
Yeah maybe then my Momma will see,
Why I'd rather get on my knees,
For some ***** *** ****,
Than think about for a moment or two,
What you made me do to you,

I'm crawling through this life covered in the past,
Can't seem to shake it, no matter how much time does pass,
But that's okay, because I know you're dying inside,
While you live you're perfect little life,
Hiding secrets so deep, it must be burning you alive,
I tried to **** myself so many times,
Did you ever wonder if it was because of you?
Was there ever a shred of guilt inside of you?
One day I hope your house of glass shatters,
And you get cut to pieces and left in tatters,

Come feel ***** like me,
And then maybe you'll see,
Why I do what I do to not be me,
Yeah maybe then my Momma will see,
Why I'd rather get on my knees,
For some ***** *** ****,
Than think about for a moment or two,
What you made me do to you.
Val Graz Mar 7
If I were to die tomorrow,
You wouldn't pause with sorrow,
Because you'd know your secrets died,
In my brain, and there they'll lie,
Buried underneath my skin,
Burned in my fingertips,
And they scorch with their fire,
Calling out to scream "LIAR,"
You were not a big sister, but a massive fraud,
One who pulled the wool over many's eyes like a shawl,
And now I'm falling deeper into my insanity,
Questioning what was once my reality,
Because surely an angel with spun gold hair,
Couldn't have done what you did with no care?
For how this would effect me for the rest of my life,
And I can tell you with certainty it's caused untold strife,
Now I can't even hear a single word that reminds me,
And conjures an image of you in my brain to see,

Because you are a demon in sheep's clothing,
Waiting to prey on innocent children with self-loathing,
I was just a young child on the outside of it all,
But you made me feel like it was okay to fall,
And so I free dived into the abyss,
And now I'm more ****** up than I can admit,

It's all because you told me don't tell your parents,
And I went along with it, I swallowed all the ****,
You fed me day after day, you manipulative *****,
I hope one day it all catches up to your conscious,
Because right now all I see is me hating me,
And you sitting oh so comfortable and pretty,
Up on your mountain that's so high,
Looking down on all us who would've died,
To do what you said, follow you with blind eyes,
Because you sugar coated all your lies,
And I followed a possessed person over the edge,
And now I'm standing, I've been standing on a ledge,
Deciding do I jump off and see where I land,
Or step back on to safer and more stable ground?
Because now I'm stuck with the feeling of chopping,
Off my own hand to get off the feel of your moaning,
So where do I go from here?
How do I move out of reverse gear?

Because you are a demon in sheep's clothing,
Waiting to prey on innocent children with self-loathing,
I was just a young child on the outside of it all,
But you made me feel like it was okay to fall,
And so I free dived into the abyss,
And now I'm more ****** up than I can admit.
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