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Kyra 5d
I was sexually abused.
It wasn't my fault.
It will never be my fault.
I don't have to carry this weight.
Val Graz Mar 7
If I were to die tomorrow,
You wouldn't pause with sorrow,
Because you'd know your secrets died,
In my brain, and there they'll lie,
Buried underneath my skin,
Burned in my fingertips,
And they scorch with their fire,
Calling out to scream "LIAR,"
You were not a big sister, but a massive fraud,
One who pulled the wool over many's eyes like a shawl,
And now I'm falling deeper into my insanity,
Questioning what was once my reality,
Because surely an angel with spun gold hair,
Couldn't have done what you did with no care?
For how this would effect me for the rest of my life,
And I can tell you with certainty it's caused untold strife,
Now I can't even hear a single word that reminds me,
And conjures an image of you in my brain to see,

Because you are a demon in sheep's clothing,
Waiting to prey on innocent children with self-loathing,
I was just a young child on the outside of it all,
But you made me feel like it was okay to fall,
And so I free dived into the abyss,
And now I'm more ****** up than I can admit,

It's all because you told me don't tell your parents,
And I went along with it, I swallowed all the ****,
You fed me day after day, you manipulative *****,
I hope one day it all catches up to your conscious,
Because right now all I see is me hating me,
And you sitting oh so comfortable and pretty,
Up on your mountain that's so high,
Looking down on all us who would've died,
To do what you said, follow you with blind eyes,
Because you sugar coated all your lies,
And I followed a possessed person over the edge,
And now I'm standing, I've been standing on a ledge,
Deciding do I jump off and see where I land,
Or step back on to safer and more stable ground?
Because now I'm stuck with the feeling of chopping,
Off my own hand to get off the feel of your moaning,
So where do I go from here?
How do I move out of reverse gear?

Because you are a demon in sheep's clothing,
Waiting to prey on innocent children with self-loathing,
I was just a young child on the outside of it all,
But you made me feel like it was okay to fall,
And so I free dived into the abyss,
And now I'm more ****** up than I can admit.
Luna Jay Jan 18
He did not deserve me-
Though he ended up with me, out of pure loneliness
On one end,
And horiness on the other-
He didn’t deserve me.
I am a strong and free woman,
Head held high,
Walking proudly through the crowd
Of judgement.
He wanted to cage me,
To tame me.
Maim me when I misspoke
With the ****** misconduct
Of his ****.
Left his mess for me to mop
And drug his palm against my face
When I didn’t do it quick enough.
I’m into some sick and twisted stuff,
But that doesn’t mean I have to dedicate my life
To a sick and twisted person.
He saw an opportunity and abused it,
Completely.
Ruined a Led Zeppelin album
Because he needed quick pleasure.
A sin.
To me, it was torture
Beyond any measure.
There is no safeword to stop him
From using me that the repeated
Shouting of the word “no”
Shouldn’t override.
Sobs and dry heaving
And unlimited tears that darted down my cheeks
Every time he forced himself
Deeper inside of me
Couldn’t trump a measly “safeword”.
Sneering down at me,
Forcing my legs open
As he stole the one thing
I’d always asked him not to take away-
My trust in men as an entire gender.
And of course,
Something as simple as getting off quick
Could never seem that complicated,
That complex,
In his miniscule male mind.
He came and went-
Dipped to college,
Got with new girls after
Shaving his beard off once he left,
Revealing that he was still a boy
All along.
Under the dad *** of the year
And sneer that was covered
In ****** hair,
Starred a scared boy
Right back at me.
He drinks to numb his pain
While I’m back at home with
A broken liver.
And it’s more of a slap in the face
Than finding out earlier
That he was cheating on me
The entire time
Anyway.
Stings.
More than the quick slaps
Across the face
I’d receive for
Disrespecting him.
He texts me-
On the day my crush,
My other half that I’ve yet to meet
Sends me an update on his life.
Cuffed in Mississippi
For a plant.
Mississippi-
The same place my sister went
After getting strung out.
The place I was at
When my little survivor pup
Was hit by a pickup.
There’s nothing good
In the big Miss.
Only terrible roads and greasy food.
On the other end, the runaway ******
Was telling me he was trying to
“Better himself”.
Asked if we were okay,
And then proceeded to make the conversation
About himself,
As he’d proudly done so many times before.
How stealth-
Can’t find a better man, she lies.
Hands tied,
Just like i’d asked you to,
But more than that.
In my mind, as well.
You’ll rot in ****
For what you did to me.
No, I didn’t go after him.
No, I didn’t tell anyone at first.
No, I never told his college.
What the **** would you even go to college
In Ohio for?
Cornologist?
No, I didn’t pursue him further after…
It.
Karma is my friend.
And I have all the time in the world,
Curing myself,
Not drinking myself to death
And sleeping with every man
Big enough to swing his **** around.
I’m bettering myself, too.
Even if I’m not allowing him to see.
k Jan 20
his words, they kept me silent
but the truth they hold is violent
i should have learnt
after enduring so much hurt
time and time again
just a pure little girl back then
nothings changed except i’m not so pure
a problem not even a genius could cure
for the pain i feel is deep
like the secret i keep
that is hidden behind a smile
thoughout this trial
It is emotional and can really resonate with people who went through a similar ordeal x BE STRONG
void Dec 2018
they let their sticky humid hands
hold my glitching hologram body
against the scratchy playhouse
walls and drag their clammy
claws where no child should
think to rub all the while
whispering into my vacant ears
how they would beat me and
bite me and cut me and kick me
if anyone were to ever find out
our little game as tapeworm
tears sludged from my sickly
sweet rotting eyesockets and
down my shiny shaking dust
stained cheeks silently over my
cold and closing throat and
when my dad finally ripped the
splintering wooden door across
the sandy shifting floor i was so
pale pink blue i could have been
six hours dead save for my
fracturing porcelain and
plexiglass heart destructive and
bashing and shattering itself
through my frail and brittle
crumbling ribcage whispering to
me how badly my dad would
scream at me for the way we
were playing
Tita Oct 2018
There was a time telling my truth was hard,
Stuck between sinking or swimming looking for a lifeguard.
It was weighted, and heavy slowly pulling me down,
But I thought if I open my mouth, for sure I’ll drown.
That you wouldn’t hear me but find holes in my story,
Throwing Daggered questions at me as punishment in this reformatory.
I have the Vivid memories, I’ve tried to make blurry,
Then there’s backlash from the self appointed jury.
But You DO know hurt people, hurt people that’s a fact,
I’ve done my share of hurting, but no never that.
See I’m not on trial just telling my truth,
Trying to create a better future, One that protects our youth!
My hope is that by sharing “This happened to me”,
Helps you realize it was never your fault so stop feeling guilty.
Because I won’t let them discredit you, it doesn’t matter when it occurred,
We’re not speaking because we’re spoken too, we’re dying to be heard.
I’ve extended my heart to you with words cleverly placed,
With each line hope you feel my love in a tight embrace.
At first it’s hard not knowing how to push through,
But YOU ARE A SURVIVOR , I know because I’m a survivor too.
As a survivor of ****** abuse my heart is with anyone who is, or has gone through it. You are not alone, and you are loved. I don’t know you but I love you. There is a way out speak up and be heard. It’s hard but we can do it.
Aaron LaLux Sep 2018
I was sexually abused when I was a child,
the only light at the end of that tunnel,
is that it wasn’t done,
by a family member,

but it was done,
and I don’t even remember,
as much as Christine Blasey Ford does,
nor have I ever had to testify,

all I remember was the taste of that ****,
and how it taste like buried secrets,
the way they ferment and rot,
when lodged in the gut and not allowed to surface,

see we’ve all been abused,
and not a single one of us deserved it,
so now we serve this life sentence of guilty regret-ness,
which in turn as positioned me in service,

oh America The Beautiful,
when did we become so broken,
everyone’s got a story,
of either being abused or abusing,

watched the Judge Kavanaugh hearing,
watched Dr. Christine struggle to retell her tale,
under the glaring lights of the TV cameras,
under the glaring stare of a bunch of older white males,

I mean let’s put it into perspective,
here is a lady who’s held this secret for years,
and then in an instant she was broadcast worldwide,
for the whole world to hear,

her life will never be the same,
she’s admitted her most private moments to the public,
and all because to the highest court in the country,
this demon from her past is about to be appointed,

and I don’t know what my point is,
maybe I don’t have one,
like a lonely kid,
who’s only role model is a fictional superhero,

because he doesn’t have an honorable father,

a lonely kid,
who’s only friend is his pet dog,
that he takes faithfully with him,
we he goes on walks just to get lost,

doesn’t have a destination,
still he feels like he’s in a rush,
can’t focus his attention and is always impatient,
and don’t know where to go and only wants to find the love,

and when he tries to speak up to tell someone what’s up,
he’s just dismissed as ignorant and told to hush,
and what does it mean when a ****** predator,
has the title of Judge,

how can someone that acts so immorally,
be put in a position to weigh the scales of justice evenly,
maybe there’s no right and wrong anyways,
maybe nothing is for certain and there are no guarantees,

maybe,
maybe not,
but I do know one thing for certain,
wherever I go the trauma from my past is brought,

because I was sexually abused when I was a child,
and the only light at the end of that tunnel,
is that it wasn’t done,
by a family member…

∆ LaLux ∆
Fog-grey paint on wood…
Sentry!
Imprisons willing hostage…
Safe!
It jars - jams handle door to floor
Uterine prison seals hermetic hermit

The fawn as ***** innocent born.
Cow mother forages for food…
To earn!
Boy buck lay prone; ears twitch.
Waiting to exhale.
Wolf pants foul -  
turn handle -
entry permit?

On eves gone by wolf violates fawn.
Cow mother oblivious in her providing!
Crept in!
Kneeled!
As fawn feigned sleep…
Lupus leered, licked - abused like prey

This night young deer escapes the hunt
Lays quiet, tremulous.
Wets itself!
Chair holds!
Patriarchal coward creeps back to fetid lair
Brief reprieve?
Grow strong - pray another day!

©pofacedpoetry – Billy Reynard-Bowness (2018) – All rights reserved
When the fairytale becomes the nightmare!
micaela drew Aug 2018
As the rain pelts my skin
I try to forget about the things you did
As your foreign hands invaded my body
I regret ever going to that party

My friends said that it would be fun
That I had nothing to lose
But everything changed
When I met you

Your eyes glowed so self-assured
Smile perfectly polished
Your intentions at heart seemed pure
But you were there to demolish

How many girls before me
have fallen into this trap?
Or is it me who will be
Alone on this path

Maybe someday you’ll have a daughter of your own
And get the call saying, “Daddy I can’t come home”
Because she is mortified by a choice she didn’t make
But was never educated to know it was called ****

For months I felt broken and battered
I wallowed in self-pity
Thinking I was tattered

When I finally realized
Opening my own eyes
I won’t let what you did
Ruin my dreams so big

I will stand on my own
And finally return home
Because what happened wasn’t my fault
But you have to live everyday knowing that you committed
****** Assault.
-md
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