Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Zywa May 2023
You cannot sleep?
It will come
It's the clock genes

Just come over here
and lie down with me
Close to each other
You are so sweet

It tied knots in me
that are not quite undone yet
I was a saviour, an angel

not yet used
to her body, a child
who does know heaven
but not yet earth

It recurred
Anger grew inside me
Powerless aversion

It recurred
And with others
I lost my wings
A worthless angel
Clock genes: 24-hour rhythm / circadian rhythm (circa-dies = approximately a day)

For Maria Godschalk

Collection "Bruises"
Zywa Jul 2022
Uncle touches me,

my *******, well, I will let him --

he's so pathetic.
"Hoog en laag springen - Faxen aan Ger $4" ("Like it or not - Faxing Ger $4", 2021, Nicolien Mizee)

Collection "Out of place"
Zywa Jun 2022
Being silent was best
Ham is strong and he threatened me
with a fatal accident
Then there was a child

Oh, my dear husband
the tireless
naturalist of the fermented juice
of sweet grapes

His old age has been tarnished
by that made-up anecdote
which hid the rapes
under a moment of shamelessness

But the punishment betrays it
anyway, the eternal curse
from the first scream
of the baby, innocent

Canaan, my youngest son
His generations to generation
subjugated and squeezed to death
in the purple lowlands
Book of Jubilees 4:33
Genesis 9:22
Canaan = "low" (lands) / "subjugated" (land) / (land of) "purple"

Collection "From Sacred Scriptures [1]"
Zywa Jun 2022
Shed.. my tears of grief,

rested.. with my misfortune --

Forgotten.. myself.
Collection "From Sacred Scriptures [1]"
๐—ง๐—ช: ๐—ฆ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜‚๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—”๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ


It wasn't until I heard
Someone say, "me too"
That I started to view
That this pain was from you.
And you. And you.
And yes, you too.
But especially... ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

I came fractured and bruised.
The deprecation of my self worth
Started before you.
I'd long since been used
As a punching bag for others'
Emotional wounds.

So, when I met you...
I was a perfect package
Of cracked porcelain
Just pretty enough
To salvage.

Your attention and approval
Became my food.
Like a flower needs the sun
I thought that without you
Shining on me
That I'd be all for none.

Your claws dug deep in my belly,
And mine into yours.
Validating eachother,
In a toxic swirl.
You in the center,
Creating a world,
Where "no" has no weight,
Coming from a young girl.

"You're so pretty" you said.

My skin was like rice paper.

"I love the curls on your head"

My throat was titanium.

"Come sleep in my bed."

My stomach turned sideways.

I had told myself enough times by now,
"This is what you signed up for,
So you'd better allow.
It comes with the territory."
I believed this somehow.

I attached so much of myself to you.
Addicted to the magic,
scattered in with the abuse.
The pleasure in the pain,
Covering up the dark truth.
So well, I couldn't tell
That we were actually living
In some kind of hell,
Being sold to us
As love and friendship,
But it was just a shell
For dead end *******.

Sometimes I find I look back
To these times reminiscing,
But then all I can think is,
"๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ?"

Cause now I sit here and wonder,
Why did I have no edge?
I had lost the understanding of what
A "no" feels like in bed.

It took me years to cut you off.
๐—ง๐—ฒ๐—ป to be exact.
All this time I've hidden
These dark secrets of the past.

Not even realizing
It was fear
Holding me back.
Not even realizing
That this ****
Fed how I act.

๐—œ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ธ ๐Ÿฎ ๐˜†๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐˜‚๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—น ๐—œ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ "๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฟ" ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ.

How brain washed is ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต?

Ever since I dug your
Claws out of my belly,
My wounds began to heal
And i started to see fully,
This relationship with you -
You were nothing but a bully.
๐—” ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ธ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฏ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ธ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฏ๐—น๐˜‚๐—ฒ.

I've liberated myself from you.
And all the guilt and shame.
Understanding now,
Why so long I played your game.
I've taken back my power, and
I've taken back my name.
I'm not a victim of abuse.
I'm a raging, healing flame.
Burning down what you became.

Ashes are easy to blow away.
I rid of you and I'm on my way.
No longer afraid,
Of the monsters in the night.
Because, guess what?

I know what a '๐˜†๐—ฒ๐˜€' feels like.

Mica Light
Gracie Anne Sep 2021
Her small round face stares back at her
Blinking blue eyes in the bright blue light and
She looks around knowing itโ€™s wrong but not daring to ask why
While chubby pale fingers type in the line
โ€œChat rooms for kidsโ€

She know that she is not yet old enough to be here
Sheโ€™s only nine but she checks the box to assure the website that, yes,
She is 18 years old or above and, yes,
She understands that there is adult content present inside of this room and, yes,
Child **** is not permitted beyond this door.

But to a nine year old these letters on the page are meaningless.
She doesnโ€™t know what adult content is or even how to
Pronounce the word ******* precisely.
All she knows is that in a matter of clicks
She will mean something.
She will mean something, and she will have worth.
She will be loved and cared for and praised and called a
Good girl, a
Babygirl, a
Kitten, a
Delicious looking darling.

She learns new vocabulary terms but instead of words like
C-C-Contrast or
T-T-Typical or
She begins to ingrain in her brain new and exciting words like
C-C-**** or
T-T-**** or
She even learns how to use these fancy adult-y adultery words in a sentence like
โ€œHow big is your C-C-****?โ€ and
โ€œI donโ€™t have T-T-**** yetโ€ and
โ€œI want to touch your D-D-****โ€.
And with every letter her tiny hands typed out, more and more men
Flocked to her DMs, ready to give her all the love she could ever need if only
In exchange for a couple of thingsโ€ฆ
Will you do a dance for me?
Will you say this sentence for me?
Why donโ€™t you take your shirt off for me?
Show me what such a big girl can do with that P-P-*****.

And she continues to learn new things such as that
ASL means age, ***, location and that anything above 7 inches is
A good and impressive and โ€œwowโ€ thing and that
If she does what these men on the screen ask her to then
She will make them happy, which makes her happy, which means that she has done good.
And she learns that certain ways she moves makes them happier
And certain poses she can do allows them to show her their magic trick.
She doesnโ€™t know how the magic trick works but it doesnโ€™t matter because
When they perform their magic trick they thank her
And praise her and say nice things to her and
Thatโ€™s all she really wanted.

She found a home in that cream colored background of
Www . chatavenue . com and she knew that even when the world
Was against her sweet, innocent nine year old self that she could
Turn to that blinking cursor and type a few letters and be able to
Feel loved.
And that was all she really wanted.
Mackenzie M May 2021
I sit alone most nights
abandoning all emotion
asking myself why did he do this to me...
I ask myself every night
as the darkness engulfs my brain...

As I lie awake at night to prevent the nightmares from taking over
I ask myself so many questions...
Oh Yes my dearest reader
I ask myself so many horrible

Why did his fingers reach for the forbidden honey
located so deep within my soul?

I have thoughts that fill my brain with darkness
Poisoning it
with toxic thoughts...
Destroying it
with the memoriesโ€ฆโ€ฆ

Why did his fingers reach for the forbidden honey
Located so deep within my soul?

I remember how His tongue was sharp with the words he said
How his words stung like the killer wasp of Africa
I remember everything he said
Each word cutting  my soul like a blade

Why did his mouth degrade me so?

I remember the abuse
How his His tongue buried deep inside me
It was like a maggot burrowing into rotting flesh
I remember it all

Why did his mouth degrade me so

Again I lie awake
As I trace the lines on my skin left by his fingers
I remember every touch
Every bruise he left behind
I remember it all

I remember the pain and the stress
I remember the agony of being trapped under his touch
and yet all I could bring myself to say was
Why did he degrade me so?
M Salinger Apr 2021
I wash your sins
within me

I heal
and nurture

not for you,
and one moment
on your long list.

I cleanse
your transgressions for me

and for her,

and our daughters
and their daughters.

In the
undercurrent of my
I bathe my wound
and swim
and search

for a way

because what is
if not time
us along?


I think
I was born into
this life
a healer.

To feel this shared
and see its shadows

as if light, reflecting
and dancing
against a wall,

I see now
my purpose,

to connect with the
heavens unknown
from this


so this wicked
energy may


And us.

To nourish each other,
so that we can choose
to transcend

a human existence,
where love
and its triumphs,

into this flesh
cross both space and time
to make

This flesh,
that I now wear
at times.

This paradox,
I want
for her too.
Next page