We need negativity

It's the only thing more potent than the potion of positivity

While we concern ourselves with the priority of support that positivity brings

Negativity is what makes up move

It's the faults we strive to perfect

In the aspect of perfect

Perfect itself is seen as positive to the point of negative outcomes

To pick on looks or physical attributes

To be stepped on

These are the negative effects of favoritism

That let humans know they are humans to other humans in the best of ways

It's the negative the humbles

And the positive that opens possibilities
Only to fall on the cushion

It's the negative that wraps the fear into a burrito and the positivity that plates it on hope

It fills us while the other gives flavor

And while you might disagree

I just talking about human equality

A simple cafe
The woman with the latte
I see her
Those peach pink lips
Your jeans fadded blue
Blonde curly hair
Skin so fair
Oh the things I would do

Across the room
Her Carmel colored skin
Brown long hair
Breast perked so
Coke bottled body

And you
Oval shaped eyes
Sun kissed freckles
so fun sized

Burgundy bleached hair
Suckulant grape lips
Thick curved waist
Coffee hazeled eyes

Eyes....
She pierced my sight
I glanced back
She knows I'm looking
My deviant thoughts
Tension rises
Three seconds four and five
I break contact I head to the door
Stumble
******
She's at the door
Our bodys touch

"Hey do you dance"
I so dance
Respond
"Yeah I do"
" well you should meet my boyfriend
He does to"

We all think we are special
And rightfully so
Because we are
but we all forget we are human
Those who only see we are human
Forget they are special
And rightfully so
Because we are

Somehow on the scale

We got to find the balance

Diamonds are forever
Because they're carbon
And we're carbon

She wants to last forever
But she's going on 37

Honey I feel your pain
as my strength will wax and wane

That's why diamonds last forever
Because they're carbon
Heated carbon

She wants to smile forever
But today she's sad as ever

That's why diamonds are forever
Because they're carbon
Under pressure

Darling close your eyes
And smile one more time

And honey I feel your pain
As my joints begin to pain

That's why diamonds are forever
Because they're hardened

She just wants to remain beautiful
But that's a shallow pool to swim

And honey I feel your pain
As my love brings sorrow again

That's why diamonds are forever
Because they're diamonds
And we're diamonds

She just wants to learn
And that's no one else's concern

And honey I feel your pain 
As I stitch my scars again

And that's why diamonds are forever
Because they're diamonds
And we're


She just wants to take her time
And not be crowded by the lies

And honey I feel your pain
But I don't want to waste my time aga in

And that's why diamonds are forever
Because they're diamonds
And we're dying

I can hear it
The whistle and rustle as air surrounds and fills the sacks of my lungs
I can feel it
The heavy tightness of my chest with every exhale
I reach in my pocket
"Shake" "shake"
"Puff" "puff"
A sudden relief of my lungs smooth muscles loosening
Dopamine fills my body
Sigh
I exhale and walk away happily daunting the next oncoming of an attack by its hazardous side effects

A fish out of water

Take me back
I wanna go back
Let's go back
To that one place that's one in a million

Take me back
I wanna go back
Take me there
You know where
Take me to that one place my childhood is missing

Yeah I'm missing the 90s

You can assume what you want you're probably right

This is a never ending story

A special heart broke apart is the downside of favoritism

To live today with a awfully wedded wife

Can coincide with the upside to fablism

Can you stand up with or aside a revolution

It's still a time of movement

This is the start of a revolution

In the mind of a mover who constantly dreams of destruction

Fail or win

Now that's its over

You can become addicted to the fact that you want it back

Just that very dream or memory

Can leave you so high

That a skydiving crash would feel like a descent towards pillowed daffodils

Now histamines flare up

Now swollen about to pop

You've never been so high

The perfect quality to qualify the high you have

But quantity Is the one thing no one can grasp

Have none to share none

If you don't have it for yourself first

You can't give something you don't have enough for even yourself

This is the blank meaning for inspiration

For inspiring an unborn child

Maybe it's the missing meaning

Blank blank blank

It still means nothing when nothing is there

So why take this walk

Why write lines the continue to feel like nothing

Why scream on top of the mountain of the faintest echo won't reach the mightiest of ears hearing to tell the world of an achievement
That no one fortunately cares about
An empty sentient being

It's more interpersonal than that

I'm tired
It's to early
How exhilarating
Get up get moving
Get exonerated of past jury's
Long worries
Till death I'm  exasperating
Extravagantly emulating
This feeling
Feels like
It doesn't come with emotion
Not cold
No hurry
Not warm
Don't scurry
I will not promise that the murky waters ahead
Won't let you tread
Till you crystallize dead
Then evaporate while your mind is sleep
And your subconscious soaks the memory cup effervescent
Then will you know that
You will not come back
Escape the elasticity
With electric scissors
And that's more then needed
But it's this route you go
Because the Harder you learn the more you will grow
It's too bad this whole time you weren't sleeping
It's time for work

Pretty, young, dumb
Follows many cheap inspirations
Walking with an influence
influenced by others
In the right place at the right time
Just in the wrong direction

Looking for the horizon
With a vertical point of view
Suffering from escapism
A natural reality
Taking quiet steps
Down something like a stairway

Hopeful while walking
Pretty young dumb
Doesn't fall and get imprinted
With a loss of steps
With many cracks and depths
Then the pretty is gone
And it's just young and dumb

But young and dumb
Suffers from a disease called age
That captures us all
From night and day

Far less the beauty
And so far from young
Lets just hope in good faith
That you don't remain dumb

To **** a bluejay
Give it soda
Lots of soda
They can't drink that ****
They will try to burp and die in the process

Crushed in a slow time racing pattern continuously moving backwards

We can only live while we lose

Emotionally losing our minds as we portray many personas like actors

In a lake bed who will forever chase the goose

What sound does the centipede make while it crawls in your ear

Try your best to stay alive

With all these failing circuits

Then realize it doesn't matter the situation

You still won't be liked

Like you use to be

Beauty is skin deep

And bones are lovely

So sit and let it burrow deep

My centipede

Even enthusiasm can heal

But not regenerate wounds by far

They just turn into scars

How deep the centipede seeps 

It won't make you weep

For you to notice me

If you only knew

I mainly want to talk, but my human side lets off.
Images of my rough hands around your soft waist to let our souls mix and seep when our eyes meet.

To sweet delight of soft serve with every curve I follow

I only want to talk

Exchange another note of human emotions and social interactions

See we lack the capacity to physically understand

And leading you off isn't in my objective
I just get stiff with kisses on your neck
I can almost feel your hands on my back
Your legs tighten around my thighs

Endorphins rush when your back  curves and your chest touches mine
Temperatures rise, I can see all the signs

I still want to talk
Your interests interest me
Lets take a walk
If we stand still I'll examine your body
My heart will go lively
With electronic  sparks
I only want to talk
But when you laugh I get this shiver
A cold quivering
That you wouldn't notice

In an instance we are on the grass with a breeze blowing your hair
And I'm grabbing your ***
I don't want to move too fast
You then reach for me
A heavenly breath runs across my neck
I almost turn wild
A stone to the ocean
Oh how opposites attract

I just want to talk
However clever I might be how has your day been
Lets get deeper mentally
I'll exchange ****** innuendos lets see if you notice

I'm just a man in not trying to be a pervert
Then you smile and it takes awhile to adjust

My imagination turns rough
I envision us at a picnic a diamond in the rough
Shoes off and your happy
So I am too
You make to first move

Now I am excited and don't know what to do
You look at me
The eye contact  from green to brown
We stare then our lips touch
Our eyes close to love the moment
As these can't be seen
Emotions run rampant
And I suckle on your teet

But I just want to talk

Love 

A acceptable social insanity

So when I force feed you paint thinner and put you in my fridge 

You stupid *****

It's only out of love

You should be grateful

I usually just feed the remains to the neighbors dogs

Lights and colors, Lights and colors dwindle in numbers

Set a step in coordination

Fully exasperated

nonsense passes by, through images

Lenses smudged by illusive thumbprints

Who are you

Are you speaking cordially

heart trusted intuition and guts mustered

Seeping into the depths of darkness

see a surprise unseen by eyes of seekers and juveniles

Founded a resolve

Sturdy foundation like a trunk of a tree

Feed me turds quench my thirst with poison

Wrap a child sleeping soundly in a blanket of lava

Let's follow the righteous side even when full of lies

Stray from a darker path were the light of truth is easier to find

Follow the good where everything a light

and turn so you won't have to face the knife

Inject a form of lies and cast the mirage of truth over your eyes

Simple yet delicate findings come to mirror my emotions (m)


I have half a notion to hide from them, like I do my reflection (n)


The coarse expectations from peers leave me drowning (m)


And I know I can't go around allowing them to control me (n)

If I walk the path that isn't made for me then there is no light that dwells in the dim tunnel


and the trouble is ,my tunnel is supposed to end with you, You're supposed to be the light that shines on me and right on through . I'll be the prism of colors you yearn for when depression hovers over you

Just a Vegas city boy

And a Kansas city girl

Sometimes they are never home

And Sometimes it makes me feel like an unopened expired bag of M&N;'s

In the crowded glass market

I become the bull

Before the bull

I the man

Before the man

I the child

The child accidentally destructive

Treads on the unknowing in the glass of doubt

Doubting the man

Who himself is encased in that same doubt

The man wondering how to be the man himself

The adult that gets pushed from his teen years

To the years of a young adult

Currently the currency of work inspires to aspire

But the dilemma of a wage so minimum

The quiet noises he makes to not wake the lion

To venture past the lions

From the glass that he did not break

To that walk ahead

But that walk

Can get lonely

People seemingly there

But the morphed man eyes not tuned to reality

Doubtingly

What can it do for a man

The man

Whose trying to become a man

Just to walk through the consuming circle

Waiting for the red

Before the strife

Take his life

Run past the lions screaming

And in the glass market
I become the bull

I just want to play along
I just lost my train of thought
Maybe this hiccup they forgot
The spoon full of sugar we gaze upon
Not to be noticed 
Is the coldest
Time of year
Set of scenery
I'm not at a loss of words
I just heard them all 
To keep from the intent to ****
I have to try real real hard 
But someone is going to play my card
Call my bluff
Like I ain't tough
I bend not budge 
With every nudge
 the knife gets closer
They made me
This way that I am
A personified monster
Man made cluster
But with every ounce of strength
I hang on
But why restrain
what's killing me to contain
Why should I refrain
What's doesn't **** you makes you stronger 
But I can't hold on any longer

So what the **** am I suppose to do

Momma said don't let them see you break
Momma said don't let them see you cry
Momma said keep pushing life is hard
Momma said it's alright
But Momma isn't here to kiss my head and tuck me in at night

It's midnight another day I made it 
So in my room I cry
Momma said don't show them mercy
So tomorrow is the time I try 

How sad that every morning
I keep on mourning
The journey the my day should bring
It's as plain as 
The same old story
We tend to hear
And the hardest part is I want to run away
But I'm suppose to take everything with a grain of salt

I don't want to be

Him, over there showing his scars off like some badass


Or her over there the loner, but beyond the truth she has more skeletons in her closet than you

Or the other person in the corner
Hiding from the world and thinks it's fine, but daylight is burning

Or the guy whose in denial, doesn't want to learn and thinks everything is fine In the current situation

I can't keep up

Seek what we sunk

Time lacks patience

But to define myself as a whole person

Accepting these perfect flaws and let them worsen

I have to chose and unwillingly
Have already chosen

You think you can beat me

See my flaw is not revenge its spite its the passion of proving you wrong the makes it ignite

I gotta remember

I'm not one of them

I have to be something different

Something better than

A person that text and goes on social media more than a 9 to 5 job to fill an aspiration

But I can't be the one who mocks those who social "medialize" and make my own words up just to show how pathetic they are

By far

I'm the worst

I dislike favoritism

So I can't fully tolerate relationships

And don't have the patience for lovey dovey antics

Or just some pet peeves

You don't have to end it I will leave

Oh and the self loathing

What a hypocrite am I

I go with whatever works instead or what my true self wants

A color without colors

However like you on facebook or you who have accomplished an amazing feet some much that an applause is needed

You are not special

And those who claim to be tied to no soul and blatantly put Yan in my life and theirs

You're not special

And through this raving and ranting of useless words making the sentences and sentences that make phrases to let me borrow the holy power of the context of these words

You are not special

It doesn't make a difference

I'm never going to be different

A picture is worth a thousand words

Or so they come to say

But that smile in the photograph

I come to know as fake

I close my eyes and imagine it

The you it tends to hides

My decision to envision it

Makes me ache from side to side

What if the photograph

So delicate and quant

Showed what you really are

If only something faint

Would it change your at outlook on things

Or would it be the same

Because the photo is just a photo

A lie upon a frame

The truth behind a photograph

What is there really all to hide

It's starting


Puff puff


Drink drink


Just a little to start


A tingle euphoria generates through my body


Hahahah 


How heavenly


What a draining relief has come


Laughable ramblings through the groups


Fickle chat


Random silences


A leveling effect has come


Teeter todder invisible waves rub across my body


How invigorating


The tingle Slowly shifts into a numbing pulse


I didn't notice


How nice


Then it fades away


Like a butterfly in a suns rays


Sweet intoxication

I've been waiting forever for you

I will be every where till you

Show me that

Time will take whatever is due

And you break your ties so clever it's true

Darling I......

11am

today i was sluggish

I ran a 6:45 mile

Beat my mile time

Benched 235

New max on bench

Almost have an eight pack

And somewhat feel unhappy

I've adjusted

My body is a temple

That society and culture busted

Warped by mocking of blemishes and dimples

Six pack well built

I fall in that circle

Mal nourished till I tilt

Collapses when i turn purple

Guided by past achievements

Visions of success

To forget what belief meant

Gain mass the more you digest

Calories, Carbs, and proteins

Vitamins, liquid, and BCAA's

Work hard

Workout harder

Appreciate where you were like other would if they are you

We are all victims turned into the very perpetrator we rejected

Look in the mirror

Change or accept

Fight or conform

Satisfy pleasure or  live in comfort

To be honest

I haven't felt a reason to be happy

I appreciate when times are good

But I'm still not happy

And i refuse to ruin someone's day

Or hid my emptiness behind a smile

And until I find what I am looking for

Tomorrow at 9am

I'll be at the gym

Longing for an intimate connection

But I don't have patience for emotional misconceptions

Hording what you call love

At the pinnacle is just numb

A mental blockage that needs a shove

To cooperate with the blind, deaf, and dumb

When you can see, listen, and communicate

Can darken what you're try to illuminate

Fickle misunderstandings dwell in physical connections

They oppose the facade of mental perceptions

Which lead the spirit to deceptions

If this is focusing because of the poetic logic

I only love you physical so you can put it mentally behind you

To walk a thousand miles

To take a thousand steps

First you have to be born and take your first breathe

No praise just don't scream

Directly at me at a thousand different octaves

Please see the id that requires asprin to aspire a better passion

To alleviate the headache

To know true love

Is to experience 1000 heartbeats

In 1000 situations

All at once

Few can only hope to feel that

What can feel right

And what can't be struck 1000 times

Three times the life with 333 in mind

Minus the 6 that didn't count

Plus the 12 that really mattered

And take off the 5 that will be forgotten

Maybe the rich one

Or one of the slums bums

Can question this one time

Of an aspiring poet

To write 1000 lines

But still they mean nothing

Nonetheless something

Will still push

5 by 20 incidents in a infants eyes

That will eventually happen 10 more times

And If you accept the challenge  

You have a 1000 tries to win

This is the last for the time being

1000 and done

To the last poem

To mend a broken heart
You have to follow an ignorant soul
To follow that lowly soul
You need patience
Why patience
For ignorance
Why ignorance
Why not
To mend a broken heart
Understand its s fickle and frigid thing
It creeks When it opens
It locks When it closes
It's conceded One way
And submissive in others
To mend a broken heart
Another heart is needed
To mend a broken heart
You have to break your heart in the process

I have violent thoughts

I hate and hold grudges on you all
For not acknowledging me

And talking to me

Like my talk is cheap

But I can't let you all take control of me

I can only push myself to the brink

I can only break myself under pressure

You are just my psychological limitation

You are my negative motivation

But not why I positively persevere

I will not let you occupy a vacancy in my mind without paying an outrageous lease

I don't want to snap

Because control is the only thing i have this far

And if I do

I will give whoever is there everything

Every sarcastic remark thrown at me

Every unfair criticism

Every smug remark

Everything I didn't want to hear

And everything they didn't deserve

Beat me ****** with sticks and stones

Break every bone

Leave me conscious enough to tell me it's my fault

Then slander what I have left as a human being

What's a word without power

What's an idea without a motive

Watch the steps you tread

The steep path can lead you to what he or she said

While the truth discriminates

And the reality that we all search for doesn't exist

Freedom and unity can't be forced onto the same plane

Those with the power to send their malicious intent

You sully my docile side

So when tears form my rage and release my wrath on a stubborn mule of a man

By nature

I didn't really want to do it

Silently sobbing in the corner shackle as I have given the confession to the act I committed

Emotional distraught

Being taught

To never point the finger

Logically perplexed

Watching

These acts being committed

It angers me

So blame me

Objectify
Subjectify
Bite my neck
Warm my body with yours
This isn't the birds and bees
This is crows and wasps
She wants me to pull her hair
Arch your back
Let the shiver crawl up your spine
Open your eyes
Put your nails in my back
Make me bleed
Make me bleed
Kiss me recklessly
****** pump
Put her on the wal just like she likes
**** the breast
Feel the heat
Bite the ****** till her feet curl
You don't even know the things I would do
Convince me it's wrong just at the right time
Tame the beast
Let him free
Bring me back
Take control
Leave your marks
Tattoo my back
Blood scabs and nails
Those aren't bruises
That's me mark
Don't forget
The scream you had
The moan in the corner
Choke me
Choke her grasp your Hands
Don't run away
Every single mark you make
Isn't love
It a just rough
The blood you drew and the marks I mad
The anger and delight the relief that pleasures me
And to you
We take it down
Till we both fall apart
And in the morning
Let it rain
Don't let the bee's buzz
And the birds chirp
I want to you to wake with a sore throat
And I a sore back
Sing to me
Your raspy screams
Because I prefer wasps and crows
then the birds and bee's

To be trapped in a body containing its own limits 

While others trapped inside an open bottle 

Both similar yet different

People in bodies trapped can't aspire to break what can be broken

Those trapped in a bottle can leave when they can shape themselves to leave the bottle that isn't closed

But can't comprehend the shape

What we seem to forget

Is we are limitless in a reality deemed by culture and illusion

To be produced and consumed 

To fit any shape but not move

You're not suffocating 

I've moved air through clogged straw

And still I stress 

And I digress 

Even when suicide is a mere option

A cowardly choice some say

Be glad

Because when it seems bad

It really is

Then hysterically submit to convulsions

And succumb to the shock

These are our motives place by our limits in a society that doesn't exist 

Like you

It's man made

I hate you

The sum of all my being can't describe this anxious resentment 
I have towards you

Its not that I'm being obsessive

I can get over you easily

Its what you did that I can't stand

You and your Hippocratic oath

And nonchalant  pessimism

Do you know how much I cared

Can you even conceive what you did

.....of course not

And you're not sorry for it either  

For the most part

In your mind

You did nothing wrong at all

I guess snakes don't feel bad when they constrict mice to pop and stay and that position till its heart stops then gorges itself without chewing

What a circle of life

But why me

What satisfaction did doing what you did make it ok

Is this humanity

Ever memory now scrapes at me

Atleast I can see the signs

To avoid another like you

Even though it's not so simple

You sickening peace of ****

You don't belong

You've taken a piece and given me something I didn't want in the first place

Now every time I see you smile

Or see you 

Even a picture

Or a phrase that sickens me to the point

Drugs are my only salvation

Just to keep the pain away

Just to take the pain away

But that doesn't matter

It never will


So on those nights when I ache in my chest in curl in a ball and wonder if I  can let go or pay you back

I wish sweet dreams to the ones you haven't hurt 

And it is as my face appears

It is mangled underneath by acid tears

I am a stone immortal

No work of erosion can seep through my cracks

Like I'm covered by the love of my mother in a Lacquer

Peep the sayings of old world negativities with a nonchalant dilemma

Riding this saddle ***** shrouded and denim and leather

You can not play the game

I will lead myself astray on a road born of dirt and blind footstep

I cannot believe or follow

I cannot fathom colors

I have a non existent black covering my gaze

Still I press

May I rest

The good die young They say

But I'm allergic to living forever

Still I am a stone immortal

Ever crack and every break you make from other stones rocks and pebbles

You will not

You can not

You couldn't even perceive to insist and persist the same or other methods to make me break

For every path that's walked I choose the one that will make me falter and dare I to attack

My stone is immortal with eyes as black as sun

Stick to me like toasted oats
I'll make it burn with poison oak

So believe me when I spit and slur my words to sound

Hear the echo less speech of kings yet to be

Then hear my roar raspy ruffled and deep

I'm a stone who can't see anyone cheap

This stone will attack the unsweeten with its iron side and pile drive

if you want the upper hand

Starve me till my saliva taste early sweet with calories all for me like the best snack or a favorite treat

I'm still the stone immortal see where I can't see the rich or cheap

In this place full of preferences

I be the despicable one

To who wants someone like me

I can't find

I don't know many who would date

This kind of black guy

Or so the excuses go on

But I myself shun the gavel

For I repel the attraction of the darker brown

It's frowned upon

But past experiences give me a shivering nostalgia

So be in and out the gruesome

Actually

It's actually nasty

I lost hope in people

When I found out I was ugly

Because I have gap teeth

And god don't like ugly

Words I didn't understand

Sent me in a negative spiral

to place where i hated people's faces

And every other man

In many places

Of many spaces

To the old proverb

Don't judge a book by its cover

But I see so many random faces

To read the proverbial book

What my eyes seek some say

Condescending it may

Be seen right betwixt

A rock and a hard place

Still running in place

To make haste and waste the meaning of what it is to taste

Now I see we live in side the belly of a beast

And the roughest of diamonds deposit gold into the tree where only the tall can reach,but tell the short not to touch

And two birds in the bush is worth viewing than the one you can touch

Through the plot and good intentions scheming  

Am I a decent human being

Every now and then
I'm convinced to move a pen
Under the world pressure
It can be my pleasure
To see the highs and lows
While my shoulders hang low
Under the world pressure
This is your first lesson
A read and not replied message
We all hate it
Debating if we could but we can't fake it
Mistake it
miss take it for something other than
Unacknowledgment
Appropriate neglect read message sent
Wait suspense
1 minute 2
2 minutes till
An hour pass by and no reply still
A world pressure all alone you don't notice
Keep the scale heavy with the world upon my shoulders
World pressure
Here's another lesson
Life doesn't mean to be mean
But exceeding the median in any direction makes it return to the mean
Meaning too much of something good is too much of something bad
So too much is too much it's that simple
Plain to plan
Just as I was moving and got hired
If I don't pass I'll abruptly be fired
Because I possess no piece of paper
Please relieve the player
Relief bequeathed a favor
Now no more to savor
Give a dog a bone
Then leave the dog alone
Walk down the summer block
Not awaiting a thunder shock
Just as your alone it rains a summer song
Gravity not tragedy the melody I play along
It's just world pressure

Pound by pound you lose the weight. When you walk around

The sizzling ground melts the fat and burns the flesh

This is not the worlds weight or the suns heat

But its wearing thin

It leans on me

Under pressure

Broken bones and capillaries

Hammer or nail you still take damage

Are you going to be banged on

Or do the banging

Either way it wears thin

Which makes it a lot heavier then what was initially thought

Tiny little mini pieces

What secrets are you still keeping

Who would've thought

That this is the plot

To the horrible story

With a beautiful setting

Bleed today and tomorrow search for comfort

Experience what it means to be fully alive

If you know how to believe

And bleed

Not you again
An achy yearning rises in my chest
You show up out of nowhere
The hairs on my body stand
Won't you go away
Lips crack and dry
Maybe just one
I lick my lips
One won't hurt
You only need one every now and then
Unconscious actions lead me to the door
One that's all
Dopamine rush
I look up
"Big Al's smoke shop"
It won't be bad
No no no
It's relaxing
No no no
It won't hurt
No no no

" Hey yo"
My head turns
" Are you going in or what?"
I glare back at the store
" Nah"

I'm tired of not being understood

And having to understand others

Can I be understood

Is it me or you caught in the loop

Now I'm getting mad

How many paths will cross

Before it's created a loss

A loss is a loss

No matter how much you lose by

****** we can't meet on levels eye to eye

You know what **** this

*******

You and your ideologies

You and your idealistic hypocrisy

Yes I'm irritated 

I don't know who isn't being understood

I will not submit without compromise

Well atleast what's fair to me 

What's that

What's fair to me isn't equivalent

To what you call righteous justice

In your mind

Well I apologize for invading your happy place

I'm physically depressed my doctor said

And mentally needy 

That's why I'm so confused and use you 

But I'm still not understood

And refuse to understand when to me

It's accepting something my persona doesn't go by

Or is it tolerating what I deem incompetent 

My grin mimics a cold grimace

Am I wrong

My arm hurts

I'm holding a grudge, but it's really a half full cup of water in my that I've been holding for 14 days

And now I'm thirsty but can't quench my thirst because my arm hurts

Aaaahhhhh

I just want an answer my heart can accept

Is that to much to ask

Or is it selfish of me

She just wants to be fancy
Uneducated fancy
Frozen fancy
Teach her till the dawn what it means
What don't we all learn something
Formless fancy women
You don't know one **** thang
Except for how to be fancy
Electric spider across your back
Little hour glass
I bet you can tell the time
Stand right next to me
Trust that you don't know a thang
Why aren't we all fed up
With the type of fancy you portray
Open up your mind
She don't know one **** thang
Except for how to be fancy
And the image won't go away
Eyes,lips, ears, and nose
Every curve memorized
Take your time and she'll take you away
She aint nothing but fancy
And that's the only thing that matters
So give her what she wants and wa it
She'll let's you taste her fancy ways

Sorry I can't be one of your subject

Is that what you want me to do

Sorry I can't be a little perfect

I'm Just that shallow to you

Maybe I am somewhat translucent

I can only let so much through

Sorry I'm not so as weird or different

It's not bad to blend in 

you

Don't have to serve as an image

Like everyone else wants to

You try to play the part

I don't have purple hearts 

You only tear me apart

Whoa oh uh oh oh

Whoa oh uh oh oh 

I'm not Your thing

I don't have puppet strings

Please don't **** me

I'm begging for mercy

But I refuse to say sorry

My apology will just be pure denial

Can't you see it's been awhile

Long time coming

I'm still running

Please oh no

No no no god ****** no

I put your name in vain please don't condemn my soul

But they want to take me away

To a place we all will end up

But not like this

No no no

I still won't say I'm sorry

I'm worried

I still haven't been let free

Singe my flesh 

disfigured me

Oh me me me

How ugly me

I'm a monster just unshackle me

So many faces

Pretty faces  but I'm just suffering

Why me me 

Where's my apology

I'm still not sorry

Until you do right by me

No no no ****** no

Skin is burned

Heart is cold

Soul is gray

Why the burden

Keep it burning

But don't **** me

I am begging

But I won't apologize

I won't say sorry

Spare me please

Yes I'm a monster

But you have no right to shackle me

I can't breathe

Let air in

Let me see

It's dark and I'm scared

And I don't care 

Cuz I am a monster

And I won't say sorry

No no no

Where's my apology

Let my bloodline weep and weep for me

But I'm not sorry

And I don't care

Fear has stricken me

But I'm not sorry

Do your worst and I'll wait to bleed

So set me free

But I'm not sorry

Trying to make something nifty
Life is simply
Too much at times to be handled gently
To catch the muse
And lose the sight of inspiration
Alas the same story
That we've lost before
To gain back in full stride
And then lost some more
The labored hearts' a chore
That the brain employ
Some where over the colors of the rainbow not seen by vibrant eyes
Or no eyes at all
we can sing some more in the silence the beckons the ominous feeling of living like a human being without knowing the actually meaning

The dreaded purple ice cream cone

Another thought slides through my cranial material

How will i sip this sour soup from those pitch black lips

And should I succumb to asphyxiation

The thrill of walking into a moving iron death trap

Thats where loves at

separated by opinion in the false dominion of unity

This is a test lab

And we're all **** rats

Still fighting for scraps

Pretend im a bug

And trends are a drug

Its still like raid toxic

Here it comes

The creeping feeling of doubt after that very decision

And every decision

But till that moment comes

I'm probably going to twiddle my thumbs

Hello my fellow poets

I would like to say I've enjoyed writing and reading poems on this site and will continue to enjoy through my days.

Alas I will soon be going on a hiatus and will return after awhile, but before I go I would like to issue a challenge to all my fellow poets.

It's a collaborative poem challenge
It's very simple two poets pair up and write a poem no restrictions.

The rules are simple and are as follows:

1. The submissions will be from today till the end January 25th

2. The fellow poet has to be on this site.

3. Whoever uploads the poem their partner has to share it.

4. They have to be mentioned either in the title or side note.

5. Once the poem is uploaded send me a link so I can add it and you and your partner to the collab poem collection

6. What's a challenge without a prize, the winners will receive a notebook a pen and a hat

7. How do you win you ask. Well after the 25th I will tally all the views on February 2nd and message the winners.

Have fun writing and I hope to see many interesting collaborations

I'm tired 

Of people

Friends that complain about their true friends

I can't be friends with all of you

Simply because you show none back

To value someone at a higher state

Hurts you at any rate

To treat you special 

Even if it's all at the same level

I should be a quiet ******

At least interactions would further interest me

I'm tired of unanswered text

Or accommodating to your standards

I could be the one that make you laugh

But you want that ******* over there to do it 

Not me

Why 

Because I'm not him

Hey I'm a funny *******

I just gave a minor coin value

Me and old abe

Either way the penny is still earned or saved

I dislike how you cry every day he is gone

Don't get me wrong I understand you miss him

No I've never been in love 

I guess I won't understand

I won't understand how to hold certain people over others regardless of the binding situations we are put in

I won't understand that loving everything and everybody for what they are is so **** hard

On the other hand it is a contradiction

A hypocritical statement

Because at the end if the day

When living good noble and kind is a dangerous way to live

That means I'm a badass

But why value all as a million bucks

When you just a penny of a dollar

The problem is
You prayed for me
And I didn't in fact
Pray for you
A gift and a curse
The problem is
I wished for new
The problem is
I didn't pray for you
This wouldn't be the same
 I'm only every counting
The wrong steps I take
With you
We fell in love
The chains of an unfamiliar master
Does it matter<
I wouldn't count on it
A thousand times
A million times
No matter the number
This won't change at all
Even though its similar
Its not the same
Because you prayed for me
I didn't pray for you

Soiled corpse lie in wait

sautéed by an armada of worms and snakes

Take what is taken

Love whats loved

When bulls stampede at clambering feet

If no bull present for the reason to fleet

Still await with a soulless rhythm

What we want

A name long forgot

Take the man before he pleads and kneels at the baby

Price paid for the difficulty never met

Shall you be sullied by the hypocrite

condensed in common sense

tattered by aggravation

Call me what I am as you stand for who I'm not

Take what i've been become remember what i forgot

Former souls lie and wait

to take a name the lie in wait

Soiled corpses desired for take

Be Somebody

Somebody

Faceless expressions cross every path he'd seem to walk. A stagnant
Pressure within his walk of life. The same salty soup with minced carrots and peas you've had for 3 days because your just lazy and don't want to put the effort in changing that unproductive lonely life.

So it's me and soup
With the Reaper ladle
Life ran by an infinite loop
It can prove fatal

Continuously walking through bunches and crowds and crowds and bunches.

Suddenly a light force pushing on the left side caugiht his attention.

His eyes met hers as  her eyes met his. Dark hazel eyes deep and hypnotic caught his attention along with her lightly tan Rosie pink skin. She was wearing a grey beanie with a red scarf and light gray coat.

What a twist
Could love be faiths twine
Today in the mist
Of two that leave that ever so choking bind

A soft but tad enthusiastic sounds flutter from her pink lips.

" Sorry about that's I... "

She then felt a forward pressure like a quick palm or shoulder nudging her forcibly forward.

He caught her just as a reaction, a split second of perfect timing. She softly laid into his chest and felt his heart spike the increased gallop of motion and warmth it brought immediately aroused her.

They then stared for a second both contemplating on what move should be taken next

"My bag "

Her lips whispered out

He snapped back into perspective he looked behind him and saw it. He let her go and smiled. He took a couple of steps

" alright I'll play it cool I might not even get her number I'll just walk away after I give her bag back.
No no no do something don't be that stupid 
"

He had reached her bag grabbed it and turned around her smiled as there eyes meet. Her eyes bordered wide 
A confusion brought his mind to a pause. In seconds he felt as he'd been pushed he forgot her face and was immediately staring at the sky and right before he could even process why a flash then nothing came over him.

She'd screamed as the truck smacked his body into the air like a rag doll and slapped the ground effortlessly.
Shock came over her as the burly man stepped out of the car.

Like venom
Or a gun
Love can ****
It can be the victim
Oh how numb
Will it seem to get still

She felt an obligation to run over to her she dash the first three steps
Full speed, but the fourth step
That fourth and last step. The image of him quickly turn into a black yar street then a flash.

Beep beep beep
Beep beep beep

Calling doctor McCully your needed in room 492

Black slowly turned to curtains and cold and the smell of plastic she realized the  that she was I'm a hospital, but...what......happened
She wasn't she how she got or is even doing in an hospital.

The curtain opened a white suited man with black glasses appeared

" Hello Miss Bradley how are you, I'm doctor Rasshid I'll be you doctor until doctor Jameson comes back from his vacation "

" I'm fine I think "

He had told she she had fell pretty hard and suffered a bad concussion and maybe some whiplash. She's been unconscious for a week and might suffered amnesia.

A woman in the hallway started screaming and it caught her attention.

" excuse me doctor, what happened "

Doctor Rasshid looks over " Someone got hit by a truck and died on impact I think that's his girlfriend "

"Oh that's so sad I hope she'll be okay"


Love and tragedy
Seems to find us
At the most inopportune moments
Especially when bad luck
Can seem good all along

We should have learned

I can get hurt to

I am not immune to these waves of emotion

Utterly lost self control

A simple text

I was taken

Now I have an ex

An O is left in my chest

It's the piece you took

And you left me nothing to replace that

Which is in great fact

The reason I love you

And in that reason I've lost you in a pitiful way

Susceptible to the sicknesses

And that's crazy

Baby baby baby

Maybe if I didn't show as much affection

Gave you protection

Or let all things be free

But change this I can do

It hurts because it's real

Or naivety tool me for a spin

Left me in a dizzy spell

Casters magic

To a witch I know wasn't at first wicked

To the naivety you exposed with a condescending nature

I stay and remain to pace around

And its amazing to how I can reference you to everything

It's my fault for not understanding

And your fault for not accepting

Either or this chore was something your effort wasn't given

Or gave up on

That " I love you" isn't for me or anyone

You don't think I know I know what you done

Hearts collect

In a barren basement

The minds making

Where trinkets dangle

And you bare your fangs

So even if the all wasn't enough

My loving apparatus has a crack

Of all the pressure

Where your ghost haunts my memories

With the centipede nest

Followed by the butterfly of death

Or a sheet of white flower

To the relevance of every poem that's to pretty young and dumb

All the words I slew from my lips

And your acid tears

This will of addiction

With your art of rejection

This forever flu

62 cuts at negative two degrees

Is why I still love you

Just not in love with you

Eccentric

Visions

******

Merry Christmas Eve

No love is given on the surface that doesn't come from within

From out and within

Let souls pierce you

Deep deep and deep

Sleep and set sail on that which spins and doesn't sink

Jump from tree to tree and let words be your leaf

Speak speak and speak

Speak when spoken to or speak to be heard

Her the slight jesters that make you think

Think think and think

The mind is a thing

A weapon a computer

A chip in a computer where hummingbirds and motherboards meet

Meet meet and meet

We seek interaction

Whether daily skirmishes with thy neighborhood or a nuisance on a foot so fleet

Fleet fleet and fleet

Run away from violent objections

Run towards the power to be the strongest version of you

Or what you could be

Be be and be

Be yourself when you speak greet meet and fleet

Act out your soul deep

Stuck in guilt tattled by perpetual emotion she tries to find her devotion

She looks from face to face
Trying to find her place
While she secretly aches
To drown in his ocean

A runaway slave
Trying to find her grave

He makes the hours
In her head
Into minutes
Quickened hearts beat
As she seeks
A final home
to rest her bones

He reminds her that life is too short to find matching pairs of socks

Now she wanders on a terrain of rocks

Maybe it could've been

A smile overcomes her

Overwhelms her
But he compels her
Despite his lack of trust
For an honest open love

Arms open for that of a skeleton

They know each of the others relevance

His heart is hers to own

As he sits and cradles her unmarked tombstone