To walk a thousand miles

To take a thousand steps

First you have to be born and take your first breathe

No praise just don't scream

Directly at me at a thousand different octaves

Please see the id that requires asprin to aspire a better passion

To alleviate the headache

To know true love

Is to experience 1000 heartbeats

In 1000 situations

All at once

Few can only hope to feel that

What can feel right

And what can't be struck 1000 times

Three times the life with 333 in mind

Minus the 6 that didn't count

Plus the 12 that really mattered

And take off the 5 that will be forgotten

Maybe the rich one

Or one of the slums bums

Can question this one time

Of an aspiring poet

To write 1000 lines

But still they mean nothing

Nonetheless something

Will still push

5 by 20 incidents in a infants eyes

That will eventually happen 10 more times

And If you accept the challenge  

You have a 1000 tries to win

This is the last for the time being

1000 and done

To the last poem

11am

today i was sluggish

I ran a 6:45 mile

Beat my mile time

Benched 235

New max on bench

Almost have an eight pack

And somewhat feel unhappy

I've adjusted

My body is a temple

That society and culture busted

Warped by mocking of blemishes and dimples

Six pack well built

I fall in that circle

Mal nourished till I tilt

Collapses when i turn purple

Guided by past achievements

Visions of success

To forget what belief meant

Gain mass the more you digest

Calories, Carbs, and proteins

Vitamins, liquid, and BCAA's

Work hard

Workout harder

Appreciate where you were like other would if they are you

We are all victims turned into the very perpetrator we rejected

Look in the mirror

Change or accept

Fight or conform

Satisfy pleasure or  live in comfort

To be honest

I haven't felt a reason to be happy

I appreciate when times are good

But I'm still not happy

And i refuse to ruin someone's day

Or hid my emptiness behind a smile

And until I find what I am looking for

Tomorrow at 9am

I'll be at the gym

Sweet intoxication
Take me on a ride today
I'm not addicted to You
I'm influenced to move Efforts to understand and compromise
This is not one-sided
I know                          
You know
It's not self sustaining              
Alas in language we suffer verbal fractures
Cruelty has no color or age
To be evil is to live
If I had you upside Down
In the basement of my house
A bat aimed at your mouth
And a ***** on a drill aimed to penetrate and violate
Would you apologize
In this world you can die if you give a ****
Saying sorry is to simple
Predicaments placed by selfless actions
A definition of Nativity at it's finest

I don't want to be

Him, over there showing his scars off like some badass


Or her over there the loner, but beyond the truth she has more skeletons in her closet than you

Or the other person in the corner
Hiding from the world and thinks it's fine, but daylight is burning

Or the guy whose in denial, doesn't want to learn and thinks everything is fine In the current situation

I can't keep up

Seek what we sunk

Time lacks patience

But to define myself as a whole person

Accepting these perfect flaws and let them worsen

I have to chose and unwillingly
Have already chosen

You think you can beat me

See my flaw is not revenge its spite its the passion of proving you wrong the makes it ignite

I gotta remember

I'm not one of them

I have to be something different

Something better than

A person that text and goes on social media more than a 9 to 5 job to fill an aspiration

But I can't be the one who mocks those who social "medialize" and make my own words up just to show how pathetic they are

By far

I'm the worst

I dislike favoritism

So I can't fully tolerate relationships

And don't have the patience for lovey dovey antics

Or just some pet peeves

You don't have to end it I will leave

Oh and the self loathing

What a hypocrite am I

I go with whatever works instead or what my true self wants

A color without colors

However like you on facebook or you who have accomplished an amazing feet some much that an applause is needed

You are not special

And those who claim to be tied to no soul and blatantly put Yan in my life and theirs

You're not special

And through this raving and ranting of useless words making the sentences and sentences that make phrases to let me borrow the holy power of the context of these words

You are not special

It doesn't make a difference

I'm never going to be different

Pound by pound you lose the weight. When you walk around

The sizzling ground melts the fat and burns the flesh

This is not the worlds weight or the suns heat

But its wearing thin

It leans on me

Under pressure

Broken bones and capillaries

Hammer or nail you still take damage

Are you going to be banged on

Or do the banging

Either way it wears thin

Which makes it a lot heavier then what was initially thought

Tiny little mini pieces

What secrets are you still keeping

Who would've thought

That this is the plot

To the horrible story

With a beautiful setting

Bleed today and tomorrow search for comfort

Experience what it means to be fully alive

If you know how to believe

And bleed

I crave honesty

Though I weep to it's side effects

I've seen the ******* and many lies

Can you tell from my bitter eyes

Accepting and tolerating

The truth with the lies

I'm turned immortal by a stone dragon

Cursed to be reborn from                     A phoenixs' ashes

Just to be held close

To know it never felt close to love

Because love never felt so good

Which is what made it an enemy

I turned my back to the knife right at me

Hoping another entity maliciously pierced me

Situations change but don't lie to me

This love is all that I got

And when the escapism fades

All I'll have is the shirt on my back

teeter on a negative edge

With 11 men approaching

Planing to cause some trouble

I'm not a lion fighting for survival



But Until I hit my zen mode

I'll return it 10 fold

This experience is universal

I pray it doesn't hurt you

Let's be hopeful one day

The scene is sweet like bundt cake

Lost without a purpose

Feeling a little worthless

Don't let the time fly by

Connect to the wifi

The circle of life is torture

Heed and maybe you will survive it

Because through the apple orchard 

We bite poison apples

Then speechless words are giving

To the birth names we are giving

A curse by the parents

It's not to tolerate  just shut up and accept it

I'm cursed to

I have no intention on coming back to this grave a dug for myself
Because of myself all the chemical components of stress I endure

Oh woe is me
Hw I long to be alone
And yet I find myself showing my outer face
Some would say a ****** mask
Regardless I share it with everyone around me
Oh woe is me how I envy the happiness I don't won't
But stray from the silence I desperately crave

What we fight for
Is what they feed off of
We are the enemies closest to us
And that's why I dug the grave
That I walk away from every time attacking a new problem
That life brought back to me
And sprinkles it with irony

I mature only to realize lesson I learned burned me in past expression when I express my inner self because even with experience

They are really just all memories
Compact in an organic density
That will be like WiFi when I die

Let each touch the heart and spread like butter
For it will forever be a common story

Fated temptress

The sway of your head in. The back and forth motion

Something that almost seems to be a talent

Commoner and empress

Eyes as deep as the ocean

Treading so gallant

The muse with a motive for *****

Just the simple ****

What she will do to follow

The sexually Venus

Every eyebrow to pluck

The **** to the swallow

Valiant bottled frame

With no good intentions

To be torn between woman and *****

She has her needs

And needs her wants

She won't stop

The devious ****

I can hear it
The whistle and rustle as air surrounds and fills the sacks of my lungs
I can feel it
The heavy tightness of my chest with every exhale
I reach in my pocket
"Shake" "shake"
"Puff" "puff"
A sudden relief of my lungs smooth muscles loosening
Dopamine fills my body
Sigh
I exhale and walk away happily daunting the next oncoming of an attack by its hazardous side effects

A fish out of water

Love 

A acceptable social insanity

So when I force feed you paint thinner and put you in my fridge 

You stupid *****

It's only out of love

You should be grateful

I usually just feed the remains to the neighbors dogs

No life has meaning

Search for meaning

Still no life

Seek life

Find the meaning

I can love you just how you like

Will you be forced over the edge

Off the brink into the imagination

Can danger be what's there

Or what's not thought of

Side by side at this table

It's dusk as we stare and sip our coffee

You have what you want

I give what you need

This seems like too much

We indeed two separate beings

I desire backpacks and simple lore

You the less practical classy desire a financial security

That's not secure to me

It seems I will be the tombstone blockade

On your way to lifes luxurious destination

I your brain

I your heart

The clock strikes nine and I have to run

And I await the day you tell me its done

Please don't **** me

I'm begging for mercy

But I refuse to say sorry

My apology will just be pure denial

Can't you see it's been awhile

Long time coming

I'm still running

Please oh no

No no no god ****** no

I put your name in vain please don't condemn my soul

But they want to take me away

To a place we all will end up

But not like this

No no no

I still won't say I'm sorry

I'm worried

I still haven't been let free

Singe my flesh 

disfigured me

Oh me me me

How ugly me

I'm a monster just unshackle me

So many faces

Pretty faces  but I'm just suffering

Why me me 

Where's my apology

I'm still not sorry

Until you do right by me

No no no ****** no

Skin is burned

Heart is cold

Soul is gray

Why the burden

Keep it burning

But don't **** me

I am begging

But I won't apologize

I won't say sorry

Spare me please

Yes I'm a monster

But you have no right to shackle me

I can't breathe

Let air in

Let me see

It's dark and I'm scared

And I don't care 

Cuz I am a monster

And I won't say sorry

No no no

Where's my apology

Let my bloodline weep and weep for me

But I'm not sorry

And I don't care

Fear has stricken me

But I'm not sorry

Do your worst and I'll wait to bleed

So set me free

But I'm not sorry

I'm afraid of affection
Exerted through many faults
My skin torn from limbs
just to regenerate.
My shell grows thicker
Beautiful butterfly of death
Cure me with poison
From the lethal remedy
To move forward I put faith in my feet
My legs crumble like cookies
If only I had to leap
To stare and wait till no one is looking
I've never seen the dark side of love
It is blind
I've never experienced the lighter side if hate
With my eyes opened wide
My kindness is a curse
The kind that gets submerged
Right before the purge
clip the lovely wings
And we all fall down
Dread not the bitter moth with the lurking eyes
It's not the beauty
It's the death of a butterfly

his is the time
Where smiles are worth a thousand memories
And tears are worth a thousand emotions
This is the time
Where
Everything must return to the mean

It's like there is something weighing me down
Right in the middle
That thing that doesn't exist
That thing heavier than gravity
It's like you don't know
What all of this means

I don't know what to do
But I have to move
I just have to

So I'll keep calm
Until
The other few
Do as I do

Crushed in a slow time racing pattern continuously moving backwards

We can only live while we lose

Emotionally losing our minds as we portray many personas like actors

In a lake bed who will forever chase the goose

What sound does the centipede make while it crawls in your ear

Try your best to stay alive

With all these failing circuits

Then realize it doesn't matter the situation

You still won't be liked

Like you use to be

Beauty is skin deep

And bones are lovely

So sit and let it burrow deep

My centipede

Even enthusiasm can heal

But not regenerate wounds by far

They just turn into scars

How deep the centipede seeps 

It won't make you weep

Hello my fellow poets

I would like to say I've enjoyed writing and reading poems on this site and will continue to enjoy through my days.

Alas I will soon be going on a hiatus and will return after awhile, but before I go I would like to issue a challenge to all my fellow poets.

It's a collaborative poem challenge
It's very simple two poets pair up and write a poem no restrictions.

The rules are simple and are as follows:

1. The submissions will be from today till the end January 25th

2. The fellow poet has to be on this site.

3. Whoever uploads the poem their partner has to share it.

4. They have to be mentioned either in the title or side note.

5. Once the poem is uploaded send me a link so I can add it and you and your partner to the collab poem collection

6. What's a challenge without a prize, the winners will receive a notebook a pen and a hat

7. How do you win you ask. Well after the 25th I will tally all the views on February 2nd and message the winners.

Have fun writing and I hope to see many interesting collaborations

I've been waiting forever for you

I will be every where till you

Show me that

Time will take whatever is due

And you break your ties so clever it's true

Darling I......

In this place full of preferences

I be the despicable one

To who wants someone like me

I can't find

I don't know many who would date

This kind of black guy

Or so the excuses go on

But I myself shun the gavel

For I repel the attraction of the darker brown

It's frowned upon

But past experiences give me a shivering nostalgia

So be in and out the gruesome

Actually

It's actually nasty

I lost hope in people

When I found out I was ugly

Because I have gap teeth

And god don't like ugly

Words I didn't understand

Sent me in a negative spiral

to place where i hated people's faces

And every other man

In many places

Of many spaces

To the old proverb

Don't judge a book by its cover

But I see so many random faces

To read the proverbial book

What my eyes seek some say

Condescending it may

Be seen right betwixt

A rock and a hard place

Still running in place

To make haste and waste the meaning of what it is to taste

Now I see we live in side the belly of a beast

And the roughest of diamonds deposit gold into the tree where only the tall can reach,but tell the short not to touch

And two birds in the bush is worth viewing than the one you can touch

Through the plot and good intentions scheming  

Am I a decent human being

Alcohol only understands alcoholics
**** for stoners
power for politics
dark knights for the jokers
I casually forget
that I casually forget
What reason to resent
connect to the tempt
let it rip like a blade through the skin
unphased by the sin
An abysmal of interest
still bewildered by abashed movements and contemptment
plaugues by immortal sins
of mortal men
we are only equal by the hierarchy we rule by
actions and reactions do or die
unpleasent motives inflicted pain by mere touch
I trust my eyes are clouded by the logic in my mind
Shift to an undisposable appetite
set a riot after night
Excuse my Vocalization
take it how i meant it understand Veberalization
I am a ***** man
look at my ***** hands
Dull minds
Dull minds
Take your influence
make your influence
reality checks save lives
end lives with escapism
Uncaged birds with clipped wings
Freedom just isn't free
I am at your mercy
No matter how diabolical it can be

No no no no
Where did you go
No no no no
I don't remember how I lost you
Now watch it workout
As I block the world out
I know these words aren't contained quite often
It seems the reply time is killing you
Coffin
I can wait while my shell cracks
Soften
I've gone past mad sad and distraught
I have to push it to the side like I just forgot
So walk toward the valley
 the way left
Was like premeditated ******
Less than unheard of
And I don't mind
The border of struggle
Electrical barbed wire
Low tier
A king in the slums
What's a king among bums
A common misconception
Within a skeptical selection
Women are
Seminar
Relax and take a seat
Men are
Rent a car
Come follow fleet
demonize
No no no
No no no no no


Behold
I am the low tier king of the mud

Before I start this

Thank you,

I used to be so helpful

I need to call my momma

I think I need a girlfriend

Time to talk to papa

I used be so different

Now I know the problem

Maybe I should love her

But where's the issue

Maybe I should bleed

But I am not a cutter

I love the pleasure sensation

But not the feeling of slicing my skin like butter

On a summer day

A wonderful day

Through my skin with an iron dagger like a tragic story

I need to get my ****

All together probably

I need to stop my procrastination

Well maybe I'll start tomorrow

Where are all my virtues

Behind the sins I follow

This is not the issue even the though rhe consequence follows in sequential order
Bordered on my persons if the action do more than my conciousness can fathom i shall falter with this ******* world

That's why papa said my **** is int he dirt

But I do not like cabbage

Maybe a couch potatoe

why does it even matter

Before you go to the next step

Please read the disclaimer

In this day and age of digital things

I got everything I really should need????

In the crowded glass market

I become the bull

Before the bull

I the man

Before the man

I the child

The child accidentally destructive

Treads on the unknowing in the glass of doubt

Doubting the man

Who himself is encased in that same doubt

The man wondering how to be the man himself

The adult that gets pushed from his teen years

To the years of a young adult

Currently the currency of work inspires to aspire

But the dilemma of a wage so minimum

The quiet noises he makes to not wake the lion

To venture past the lions

From the glass that he did not break

To that walk ahead

But that walk

Can get lonely

People seemingly there

But the morphed man eyes not tuned to reality

Doubtingly

What can it do for a man

The man

Whose trying to become a man

Just to walk through the consuming circle

Waiting for the red

Before the strife

Take his life

Run past the lions screaming

And in the glass market
I become the bull

Soiled corpse lie in wait

sautéed by an armada of worms and snakes

Take what is taken

Love whats loved

When bulls stampede at clambering feet

If no bull present for the reason to fleet

Still await with a soulless rhythm

What we want

A name long forgot

Take the man before he pleads and kneels at the baby

Price paid for the difficulty never met

Shall you be sullied by the hypocrite

condensed in common sense

tattered by aggravation

Call me what I am as you stand for who I'm not

Take what i've been become remember what i forgot

Former souls lie and wait

to take a name the lie in wait

Soiled corpses desired for take

Be Somebody

Somebody

The only reason
I'm disappointed depressed disoriented

I had expectations
They let me down

Disappointed in what everyone thinks they do better
Disappointed to think I'm any different

Depressed at human nature
Depressed that I try and do no better

Disoriented because what's real is a dream

We stay asleep not because we can't see
But because we can't believe what we see

So row slow down the river of eyes closed

For when i lose expectations
I expect I'll find hope

Forever alone in a mistake place

A unlikely outcome to real gimmicks

kind enough to accept ones faults

Entity


Im surrounded by catch phrased gimmicks

I'd rather be labeled fake then anything else

That piece a malleable plastic 

Worthless scrap

It tends to surround everyone that doesn't  understand its worth

Maybe im wrong

You're the realist of the real they say

You've hurt me

And buried me deep

Let me change

I  a toxic helium

These rich brewed tea

Tasteless as it seems
 
Ive been noticing 

You prefer coffee

So it appears to me

To be seen by an individual that isnt mean isnt something i prefer

So i will stay and remain

Forever

A 

Kind

entity

She just wants to be fancy
Uneducated fancy
Frozen fancy
Teach her till the dawn what it means
What don't we all learn something
Formless fancy women
You don't know one **** thang
Except for how to be fancy
Electric spider across your back
Little hour glass
I bet you can tell the time
Stand right next to me
Trust that you don't know a thang
Why aren't we all fed up
With the type of fancy you portray
Open up your mind
She don't know one **** thang
Except for how to be fancy
And the image won't go away
Eyes,lips, ears, and nose
Every curve memorized
Take your time and she'll take you away
She aint nothing but fancy
And that's the only thing that matters
So give her what she wants and wa it
She'll let's you taste her fancy ways

Diamonds are forever
Because they're carbon
And we're carbon

She wants to last forever
But she's going on 37

Honey I feel your pain
as my strength will wax and wane

That's why diamonds last forever
Because they're carbon
Heated carbon

She wants to smile forever
But today she's sad as ever

That's why diamonds are forever
Because they're carbon
Under pressure

Darling close your eyes
And smile one more time

And honey I feel your pain
As my joints begin to pain

That's why diamonds are forever
Because they're hardened

She just wants to remain beautiful
But that's a shallow pool to swim

And honey I feel your pain
As my love brings sorrow again

That's why diamonds are forever
Because they're diamonds
And we're diamonds

She just wants to learn
And that's no one else's concern

And honey I feel your pain 
As I stitch my scars again

And that's why diamonds are forever
Because they're diamonds
And we're


She just wants to take her time
And not be crowded by the lies

And honey I feel your pain
But I don't want to waste my time aga in

And that's why diamonds are forever
Because they're diamonds
And we're dying

segregate me, but I am only human

I have to power to change a future

Peace, love, war, and violence

I contain it all with my thoughts and actions

I'm not whole from the apparent soul that consumes me

A fruitless tree only bears vegetables for me

And poorly salted meats  

Im not lost forever

I just lost my way

No one knows what it's like

Still Everyone shares the experience

But me, myself, and the person and the mirror

A rippling pebble cannot change the strangest tides

To try and try harder

To the brink of insanity

Its simply 

Who we are

And what we'll become

This is a lost journey

If knowledge isn't what you yearn for be the jury

Follow the bricks and hope you reach home

Where ever it is

Whatever you call it

We can be portrayed as vicious predators

In the pursuit of a wild happy

Inhale when you die

Just to embrace the way of life

And when falling is the only chose

As it is from time to time

Fall forward

And put your hands out to touch the ground

Push up even when it's a million pounds

It's plausible

It's possible

Impossible

I'm possible

Trying to make something nifty
Life is simply
Too much at times to be handled gently
To catch the muse
And lose the sight of inspiration
Alas the same story
That we've lost before
To gain back in full stride
And then lost some more
The labored hearts' a chore
That the brain employ
Some where over the colors of the rainbow not seen by vibrant eyes
Or no eyes at all
we can sing some more in the silence the beckons the ominous feeling of living like a human being without knowing the actually meaning

The dreaded purple ice cream cone

Goodbye love
Fragile like a paper heart
It's still there but torn yo pieces

The touch of a playful shove
Winding falling to the ground like art
I' am glass shattered in a thousand pieces

Now my best wish, is just a beautiful memory
We soar like we're chained together by a flock of feathers
I can quench your thirst with this bottle of love

To bad you've found another, turned me into an enemy
Soft touches feel like the warmth of leather
Another morsel I hunger for so goodbye and goodnight love

I just want to play along
I just lost my train of thought
Maybe this hiccup they forgot
The spoon full of sugar we gaze upon
Not to be noticed 
Is the coldest
Time of year
Set of scenery
I'm not at a loss of words
I just heard them all 
To keep from the intent to ****
I have to try real real hard 
But someone is going to play my card
Call my bluff
Like I ain't tough
I bend not budge 
With every nudge
 the knife gets closer
They made me
This way that I am
A personified monster
Man made cluster
But with every ounce of strength
I hang on
But why restrain
what's killing me to contain
Why should I refrain
What's doesn't **** you makes you stronger 
But I can't hold on any longer

So what the **** am I suppose to do

Momma said don't let them see you break
Momma said don't let them see you cry
Momma said keep pushing life is hard
Momma said it's alright
But Momma isn't here to kiss my head and tuck me in at night

It's midnight another day I made it 
So in my room I cry
Momma said don't show them mercy
So tomorrow is the time I try 

How sad that every morning
I keep on mourning
The journey the my day should bring
It's as plain as 
The same old story
We tend to hear
And the hardest part is I want to run away
But I'm suppose to take everything with a grain of salt

Autumn the struggle of orange in red flow with warmth before winter's might

I hit rock bottom once i hit the bottom of the bottle It's getting cold. And I'm just not alright.

Pursue me otherwise

till then I'll drink this bottle with numb regret

There's nothing I can do after your mind's made and your heart's set.

So in the end I enter fugue

And wonder if anything's real that I know to be true

Someone once told me the color of love is the color of Autumn leaves

But Regret's the only feeling I get when watching them blow in the breeze.

Disclaimer

I know not what I am

If only for a second I remember it would be you I would blame for my disorderly conduct

And just maybe, my thinking's corrupt.
I shouldn't blame you for my self inflicted pain, But it's a strain not to wonder If those love colored fallen leaves are missed by the trees they fell from. Or if you'll miss me when I'm done.

Now reaching my heart is harder than carving my chest open with a jagged knife while the Serrated edges my human away from my chest
And I scream ****** ****** from the mess

It wasn't supposed to be that way but I did my best.
That what hurts the most is knowing my best wasn't good enough. That I'm not as good as the wrest of the stuff that serve your escape. It hits nerve that when with me you had to close the drapes. Your ***** little secret, had to keep my voice hushed. But now your voice is shaking and the color from your face is flushed. But i doubt I'll ever know what it is you're afraid of
Leaf.

This wisdom I attained formed my common sense

Which is now a situational technicality
Faint laughs and dull quips

As i finish the last bottle in pathetic sips

I write this last sentence with the color of autumns blood

Maybe I wont fall for it like the leaf's every autumns season

Perfection is a virus
You have to survive it
Flaw by any variant
whoever  makes it apparent
Misery loves company
Sorta like an infection

Oh boy oh boy
Are you listening now
When I was young and misunderstood I made my vow
When I got older and grew bolder
I became a clown
And as things headed south
Well they are still headed south
Im just old enough to know better
Whatever better is
And still young enough to not really know what to do right now

They say love is many things
And you can love three times
They say its a chemical reaction
Then after that it takes time
I dont think I've loved like that before
So i don't mind

I've been hurt by my past infatuations  
I'm human
So there's a hole in my heart where that part use to be

And i know there's a hole in your heart that's filled with the very part of me

I don't mind this thang
I dont mind it at all
For anything to bare it's fangs
We all just get older

Growing pains...

Chances are you've met your soul mate already
But if your soul's corrupted
Your unproductive
And you have to wait your turn
When your new soul is ready
You be met your soul's mate again
But maybe they've corrupted
But corruptives soul like the one that you used to be
So usually
That soul corrupts you
And unadjusted you
Until you see met your soul's mate again
3 times its been
4 times it will be
How many times until
The souls are in harmony


The law of attraction
Past lovers
Future friends
Wether it be mental
Spiritual
Emotional
Or physical
This attraction exist
And persist
In spite of loyalty

Face the fact that I could attract and be attract while keeping intact that if rather know you
Then not
Care for you
Then hate you
Or think indifferent
But this meaning is different if its differently expressed I digress




Can men and women be friends?

It seems you'll be inside of my head 
Until I lay dead


Until I die
You whisper to me you can't make me leave
Goodnight
Sweet dreams
With the memories 
That turned into enemies of imagery
Everyone like a bomb
That douses me in exploding shrapnel
To the memories that I can't let go
And won't let me forget
That haunt my every movement
That invade my daydreams 
That bring me to my knees in tears
If you love me let me go
Because they are the sharpest knives that reopen my scars
And every time I'm torn apart
You've found a way to burrow to my heart
From there to my mind 
Those memories aren't kind
And until they shovel dirt on my corpse
I guess it's my fault for remembering what hurts

Here on the west side
Crime does pay
And doing no crime
Still pays crime

Here on thr west side
We live by one rule
Grind
Not survive
Because we are modern America

Here on the west side
People appreciate free
And will abuse you for it


Here in the west side
Sympathy is a victim tactic
No longer used for genuine purposes
Except for genuinely getting ahead

Here on the west side
We die by one rule
But that rule doesn't exist
Because everyone dies

Here on the west side

It seems hard

But not concequential

To understand but still neglect the inner meaning

I've been meaning to look at you and understand a man

Mixed signals and arguments

Sacrasm and bombardments

Is all it gets

And I'm sure we have our differences

But I'm tired of it

Their is a void in myself

Where the desolate roam

And more seem to go

Underhanded it may seem but it seems to me

That this won't be fixed

I feel like it's the only way we communicate

My opinions spark the outrages

Now this feeling I'm gauging

Seems Amiss

There is rouble afoot

And the footstep I can't follow

Won't follow

Seems out of place

I guess even a parent is a person

And it's not the worst version

Of revaluations

Can't we relate the more in realize it's a debate

I'm trying

But im done trying

Let it repeat

Walk with me on this journey
You'll soon understand so hurry
Back before the first leaf fallen
I was a summer bee
That's had found its pollen

Mentally I had nothing
My heart told  me these instructions


Hold up prove yourself
First off introduce yourself
During this be yourself
Show your mental wealth
Make her feel
Special, unique, funny, and relaxed
Don't step to forward or she might step back
Squire conversation and really get to know her
And listen she might tell you every secret
Make sure you can keep it
Get to know her
Hurry before her
Time is spent elsewhere
Think about her when she's not there
Pray or her safety out there


Don't manipulate just to get close
Don't make it feel forced
Like most folks
Those folks
Who aren't you right now
Let's be realistic
Your a seven to her ten
Hopefully you can talk and make it even
And between then
Show some emotion

Let time go by
That very special thing
Because s
Flowers take time to bloom in the spring
Let her be the queen
And that you know and she knows
That she is something special

And that's before she loves
Maybe even likes you
But you're not something this is about
Just simple instructions with obstructions if you don't know how to love her

I don't care

I will not care 

For I've learned my lesson

I will not bow like a lowly peasant

I will not dip my fingers in boric acid hoping I can save you from the burning ashes

Just so you can walk away

Unscathed, and do it again

Then show no love for me

I want you  to be happy

But at my expense

Is this what you call happiness

For shame

And shame once more

That's why I do not care anymore

I don't dive in rivers deep

To break my hands and feet

Have my lungs collapse and save your life

Just for you to do it again

Im no hero

I'm human

But you might as well be a villain

Maybe I'm not chosen

For your notice

So I can warm you heart

So it won't remain frozen

I am not going to watch you weep just to pick you up at your feet

To catch you while you fall
And break the bones that support my knees

Just so when I fall

You don't catch me
 
Or at least put a pillow out

I know burdens can be heavy and make you sink

I'm not evil oh no no please

Look at the scars and the way I bleed
And the tears that have stained my cheeks

I will not love you back

To make my soul a darker black

I'd rather rip out all my hair

And be lonely and at despair

Then to love you anywhere

I don't Care

If I have to find forever alone

I shall become a fierce animal when I find home

If I have to live a life where I don't feel alive

Can I deprive another to to end my dependence

If I have to find happiness

In the pursuit does that mean I search miserably

Crawling among daisies and daffodils

Just to be stung by bees 

Do those bees die feeling fulfillment

Does the floral arrangement leak beauty but attract danger

If I have to get you to love me

Would it be worth it

Trying sometimes isn't 

Forcing would be a better option

But I don't really mean it

If I have to make you smile

And I smile in return

If I have to turn you on

Does it seem to just appeal

If I have to break your heart

Will it be on purpose

Is it only that much worth it
If I have to 

Should you to

For you to notice me

If you only knew

I mainly want to talk, but my human side lets off.
Images of my rough hands around your soft waist to let our souls mix and seep when our eyes meet.

To sweet delight of soft serve with every curve I follow

I only want to talk

Exchange another note of human emotions and social interactions

See we lack the capacity to physically understand

And leading you off isn't in my objective
I just get stiff with kisses on your neck
I can almost feel your hands on my back
Your legs tighten around my thighs

Endorphins rush when your back  curves and your chest touches mine
Temperatures rise, I can see all the signs

I still want to talk
Your interests interest me
Lets take a walk
If we stand still I'll examine your body
My heart will go lively
With electronic  sparks
I only want to talk
But when you laugh I get this shiver
A cold quivering
That you wouldn't notice

In an instance we are on the grass with a breeze blowing your hair
And I'm grabbing your ***
I don't want to move too fast
You then reach for me
A heavenly breath runs across my neck
I almost turn wild
A stone to the ocean
Oh how opposites attract

I just want to talk
However clever I might be how has your day been
Lets get deeper mentally
I'll exchange ****** innuendos lets see if you notice

I'm just a man in not trying to be a pervert
Then you smile and it takes awhile to adjust

My imagination turns rough
I envision us at a picnic a diamond in the rough
Shoes off and your happy
So I am too
You make to first move

Now I am excited and don't know what to do
You look at me
The eye contact  from green to brown
We stare then our lips touch
Our eyes close to love the moment
As these can't be seen
Emotions run rampant
And I suckle on your teet

But I just want to talk

I need not accomplish

What success may bring

I need not stay on a path ir stray off another

I need not love nor carry the hate

I need not art for anything but art

It is what it is

Simple and complex

But I need not fret

What will happen next

We aren't friends
We're just cool

Theres no reason i can't give kindness
And dismiss you like I'm mindless

I don't mind it's
Just something

I do to make me feel a little better about living
Through my anxiety and pain

Anxieties and pains
Crush girlfriend wife migraines

Eating disorders
So now i eat junk because it rots my brain

Maybe it's insane
Maybe i don't feel like myself when i express these thangs

These rack my brain while i rack these weights

**** now im going to be late
That's another 15 that i wont be paid

Now i have to look at my supervisor say
This is why you won't get a raise
At same time another mans chick is on my brain
I just want to see her taint
No not that one
That **** stank

In the meantime im ******* with a chick that's twice my age

And another with 6 kids to date
**** I'm in a pickle
Few can relate

This is the **** that I hate

With my third eye strife
This is my life
And when i dig my grave its gonna to be very nice

With my cake
And my bed
Made it
Laid it
And ate every slice

If i do right
Can i just say that I'm kind
My egos bind
Why am i lyin

This is why i Write
Its not for you this time