I listen to music
And i’m tempted
To rush over to your
House and run away
With you
Because i’m in love

It’s four am.

I’m sorry.

I sound like him
When he talks about
That baby mama

But i know we’re different

Because we're not whole
If we’re not together

My head like
My heart
Open and
Confused.
Willing, scared,
Excited

I feel like I
Was tossed into space
Drifting through stars
Completely lost
On my way too you

Sorry I can't eat
Chicken wings
While smoking
Like him

I love how you fit right in with all the poets here.
~
You might say you aren't an artist, but you are so wrong.

My heart is melting
like the sun disolves
Slowly into the sea
at the end
of a long summer day

Please
Leave me
Alone
I do not care
To see your
Face
Or hear your
Voice

Do you ever wonder what it's like to love yourself?
To be completely at peace with who you are inside and out?

Watching her sing along
She knew all the words
And it was easy to tell
She felt them
I fell in love
All over again

im just gonna sit here and scratch off a little part of myself each time you hurt me until i just dont exist

more then anything
i wish i could go go back
to old habits
my skin aches
for the sick
burn across my ankles

You love me?
no.
But you want me.
yes that's it
you want me.
because when i'm with you
i am small.
i can't help but be a different person.
someone who likes to be told what to do.
i get my fix of sorry feeling.
i get to be punished and pulled apart
until i'm nothing but your words and ideas
i deserve to feel like trash.
i deserve to be your pet.
you ground me.
second guessing every move is intoxicating.
being unsure makes rattles my chest
keeps me on my feet and somewhat scared
of you
and of what can happen
if i keep on listening
saying no feels wrong but still you coddle me
asking why and disappearing to let me know
i have things to work out.
i'm a mess
you foster this in me by speaking empathy.
youre a mess too.
lets be a mess together.

you know
people could call this abuse
but somehow for some godforsaken reason
i eat it up
for those few moments you make me feel good
you tell me who i am
i need that right now
i need you to tell me who i am
over analyze my every word
tell me my symptoms
lets bask in our insane abilities
where your knowledge gives you the upper foot

why do i want you
why do i want this
whywhywhy do i NEED it some days more then others
your validation is a terrible drug
i can't stand it
leave me alone but
don't leave me

I'm sorry
it won't happen again

He sat down and wrote
Complaining of his exclusion
And the life of extreme seclusion.
You must be surprised if you suffer
A danger that I cannot name.
I am the chief of terrors so unmanning.
Lighten this destiny.
Respect my silence.
The Dark Influence smiled
With the promise of peace of mind.
His life, so great.
A change of words must lie
For some deeper ground

Anxiety meds.
Meds for depression.
They make me feel numb,
make me lack expression

I squished a bug
rubbed him out of existence with my thumb
quick, minimal, forgettable experience

I wonder,
are people like that?
Am I like that?

Do you get it?
Of course you don't.

No one ever does.

She knows
                  she knows
                                    what you did, Daddy

and you're wrong
                          no longer can you
               be my hero

The lies you told
                      and things you stole
   brought you down
                                          to zero
                                                            ­                                               she knows
                                                           ­                                she knows
                                                           ­ she'll never not know

i'm tired of these
black mascara tears
dripping down my face

downed the green pill
with gulp of cheap iced tea
i feel it warm my body
Tired, i'm done
Feeling guilty today
i think I'll just sleep

every time i think about that place
and all the faces
the eyes on me
my skin crawls
i wish i was invisible
i wish i could jump in front of a car
am i crazy.

They came on the radio again

I can't help but smile
They make me think of you

Ahhh being in love

It's hopelessly wonderful

Should I post it?
Should I not?
Should I tell her what I thought?

It's funny
How a beautiful morning
Makes everything seem like it belongs.

Do I get excited at the thought of another new beginning?

And I'm back to no longer caring about anything anymore.

No one cares, no one listens
No one
Even the little things hurt
I thought you'd pick up on that

Time for a new mask.

Hopefully this one doesn't get me into trouble.

I think I'm just supposed to be happy.

Being sad ***** up everyone else I know.

And that just makes me miserable.

I just don't understand why you seem mad when I'm sad

What the **** did I do?

Fading further into your shadow.
Losing sense of self.
Losing sense of purpose and reason.
I'm always second place.
But
I dunno
Maybe I put myself there.

There's no point.




                            None.

Fire consumes her
Flies from her finger tips

Oh how many times can I say sorry?

It was a misunderstanding
I still want to be with her



Just not now

I'm just so tired
Of this **** soaked room
And this poorly glued together family
And I'm tired
Of all these issues being ignored
Of the baby being ignored
Of personally being ignored
Tired of
Watching the entire bloodline use different ways to escape reality
And I'm tired of
Heading dad say how bad it is
And hire he's so much better then mom
And then sending us to her house

Maybe one day
When I'm tired of
Being so lazy
I'll just off myself
To make things easier