Your lips,
Appearing sugar coated,
Once tasted
We're revealed to be
Dusted with arsenic

I'm really starting to hate
How much I love you

The six month mark
For that one time in the dark
Safe from December breeze
You laid on top of me
And left my hair a messy mop
Then you flew to the bus stop
Leaving me very confused
And I'll admit, a little amused
Is four days near
(Should we celebrate and cheer?)
I wonder what we'll do next
For a secret fling, you're the best
Yet I've come to love you with my whole heart
And hope this never tears us apart.
When I think about our future, I'm pumped
Although, our relationship leaves me stumped.

How can life be fun
When you're sad in the sun

How can life be fun
When you'd rather just run

How can life be fun
When you know that you're done

How can life be fun

When you're sad in the sun

How can life be fun

That song played on my favorite tv show and my eyes glued to the screen because it was your favourite band

I opened this book to write about how crazy that was and saw your name written over and over in your own handwriting. Thought about it.

Flipped though my poems I keep mostly secret and noticed that many, many of them were about you

Your name on my clipboard
Your jokes on my papers
Your words on my screen
Your body on my bed
Your body on my body

You

In my head

In
     My
           Heart

You've consumed my life
                 To lose you
                      Is to lose me


And that's why I'm afraid.

Your lip balm
is ******

It singes
until I char
but glues
me to your heart

Your sweetness,
A sad that you'll
Never
Be mine.

It's not enough to be a dreamer.
It's not enough to try and fail.
To give up before you win,
no matter how hard you tried

still makes you a loser.

And life was sprung
where sadness was sung
from the depths of all lungs
to the tips of all tongues

Yet this "cursed" young
was the very one
to which hope was clung
and salvation rung

Although he did not belong
he fought hard and strong
to save right from wrong
until that's all that thronged

is
stupid

Darling, you overcharge my battery
One smile and my brain was jolted alive
this isn't just some surreptitious flattery
but you make me so happy I could cry

Her Understanding:

Hands that caress
melt my stress
are silky smooth
in a rhythmic groove
that's hard to regret
and impossible to forget.

--

His Reality:

My hands caress
what fills me with stress
her skin is smooth
but that doesn't soothe
all my regret
he's just impossible to forget.

Harsh beats
brought me
to your
soft heart.

words spilled like syrup
tasted sugar sweet
at first
but then
left a bitter residue

like the moon draws in the vast ocean,
I felt you walk into the room.

I got the wrong parts
I got the wrong heart
I got the wrong toes
I got the wrong clothes
I got the wrong joints
I got the wrong points
I got the wrong face
I got the wrong place
I got the wrong eyes
I got the wrong prize
I got the wrong date
I got the wrong fate.

My frozen heart
Thaws quickly
because you
are my apricity

I don't want to sound rude,
but what about me?

You bruised my knuckle with your ******.

please say sorry.

Goodbye creativity
and good riddance.

I can no longer stand to be myself.

Goodbye creativity
and good riddance.

I'll put my independence on the shelf.

Goodbye creativity
and good riddance.

Its useless now to disagree .

Goodbye creativity
and good riddance.

It better instead to fit in, don't you see?

Goodbye creativity
and good riddance.

Its scary to do your best to stand out.

Goodbye creativity
and good riddance.

when you're a freak to the rest of the crowd.

I don't think its
wrong to expect
from you,
the same respect
That I put in.
But how does one ask?
where does one begin?
I hate that I feel
this mad
and you don't
even feel bad.
Don't worry, though,
I'll just keep apologizing
no matter how much
I find it agonizing
a reciprocation is what
I'll be waiting to hear
Though I'll probably have
to wait a few million years.

My brain feels squished
to be happy is what I wished
for, and now
I don't know how
to stop the thoughts incessantly
screaming that I'm a phony.
It's not fair
I wanna care
about everything besides myself
but I've been in the back of the shelf
long enough
to keep trying to be tough
for others surrounding.
Instead I'm drowning
to keep them afloat
dear God, where's my rescue boat?

I was gone for a while.
I have a silly idea.
Wouldn't be funny if I was gone forever.
I ******* hate all of you.
**** every single one of you.
you're gonna wish you cared
I'm psychic like that.
Then again I wouldn't be surprised
if you just didn't notice either
that's more probable.

Don't give me that " I'm being selfish" *******
I'm just doing you a favor.

be ******* gracious
and say thank you
It's the least you could do

Probably the least you're capable of.

Let's be blunt.
I can't wait until I'm ******* dead.

I don't know
whether I'm gonna cry or throw up
I don't know
If I even care
I don't know
If you care either.

This is too much

**** everything.

I've said it maybe a million times
that "things will be okay"
and yes, my love,
they will be okay for you
but it is I who is so uncertain
of this life and what I make of it
I know I've been acting off
I get so emotional anymore
everything is making me crumble
I fear soon I shall be nothing but those crumbs
and what happens to crumbs?
they are swept away
on an amazing journey
airborne in their container
false hope making them believe that they have won
they are rising, getting where they need to be
and, I guess, in a way they are getting there
to that wonderful trashcan
and I bet at first that seems great
so many people are around them,
i bet they even act like them
this is shattered by reality though
even a small dose, lover, is toxic
they too soon realize that they are losers
everyone around them, like them,
everyone breathing the the same
grimy as they are, is just a loser
and maybe thats not the worst
i think the worst would be knowing
knowing that there is no way out
other then to be thrown out again
joining many other crumbs on a final journey
to being incinerated, crushed, and maybe
even put in the ground to rot
and, lover, I think I got off track
maybe, but not really
What I'm trying to say is that
Do not let yourself become crumbs
Do not rot away from the beauty of life
Do not follow in my footsteps
Do not become me.

Lets go to the beach, where we can
    play in the sand
    splash in the waves
    run hand in hand
    eat things we crave

Lets go down town to
    check out the shops
    buy new clothes
    see boys that are hot
    mess with hobos

Lets run away and just
    always be the same
    rely on each other
    dance in the rain
    go undercover

YAAAAAASSSSSS

his name
a match struck and lit against my throat
igniting white-hot anger,blinding

burned a little more each time

I am not okay with this

good morning world,
I'm facing another day

where pain seeps and swirls
while pushing people away

but I'm a new girl
and my feeling can't be swayed

I'll give this new moment a whirl,
and there's nothing you can say

Hands grip
until sheets rip
and words drip
from parted lips

To catch a glimpse
of fumbling limbs
and have hearing dimmed
by pleasure hymns.

Fabricate
Fantasicate
Just how fake
that heartbreak
was to take
was to face
was to brace.
How'd you place
the blame
on  his chase
to fill your space,
when his heart raced
and heavily paced
when the idea graced
to be your mate?
I guess one could state
that this is fate
though the gates
at which she'll wait
will have low rates.

Fake Fake Fake
that's me
that's what you see
lighting up your computer screen
nothing but a phony
everything I say is baloney
anything to be seen
as the girl cranked out of the same machine
I steam
I scream
tears stream
I conceive

You believe.

Nick fell in love with a loony
This girl was indeed quite screwy
She built herself a hut
out of her ex-boyfriends' nuts
Now nick feels kinda gloomy

my
  cry
my
  try
my
  fail
my
  tale
my
  face
my
  space
my
  home
my
  alone

Put me in a box
cover it with locks
and hide me away
until you have better days
because I know how I am
so I know I should be crammed
into a tight space
where no one sees my face
or has to hear my voice
I could take away your choice
in this, then again
It'd be easier for my friends

This canvas
was better bare

paint already covers it
so who really cares

only get worried
when it starts to tear

I wish you saw how special you are
and how much you mean

there's a special place in my heart
where you can always be seen

a beautiful piece of art
displayed on the biggest screen

the most sparkly star
with the shiniest gleam

you gave me a start,
more jolt then caffeine

I'd say you're a card,
exactly what I need.

Deep Crimson cheek
Face burned heat

Flushed

You blush

All because he said hi
And, oh my
How you've fallen hard
He's the best thing you think about, by far

Night by night you wish
One amazing kiss
                From those lips
                             To be his

He is perfection
Your sweet confection
Of a man

Whose hands
You wish to have all over your body



"Why me?"

I wish to feel the warmth I see in pictures.
bright sunny sunshine beats down on two.
they must be in love, well, at least they look it.
Why don't I get to feel that?
Don't I deserve to find someone?
to not feel so alone?

You took time
made sure I was taught

to act responsibly
to not get caught

up in this mess
but your advice was for naught

steaming hot water scoured
my thoughts away in the shower
above the demons I towered
until their insults were too dour
and while I thought I possessed more power
I found myself wither and cower
next, Bright red bloomed a flower

Personal belongings gone astray
                                                 make me want to run away
while its nice to be completely me
                                                 there's some things I don't want them to see

Too afraid to be creative
Because I know it wont end nicely
people will get upset if you don't
say what they want precisely
and I like my little molds
of phrases that are rhymey
its easy just to talk about popular things
without feeling oh so slimy
just be vague, no taking sides
unless there's an obvious winner
then log off without thinking twice
and try to choke down your dinner.

I remembered the rain in the summer
how beautiful everything felt
when it seemed my world was being destroyed

I just remembered that today.

and it's like
everything is okay now

but maybe it takes a little destruction
to make me see the beauty

everything got quiet
but not in that creepy sort of way
more in respectful anticipation

the world was alive.

My Valentines Day was aglow
with a giant cup of froyo
warmth of cuddles and hugs
silly gripping and tugs
that don't mean you're mine
but, honestly, that's fine
cause being best friends
is something that never ends
and I'm already expecting
to hear from you, texting
that you saw this
it's not really something I wanted you too miss
I don't expect you to comment
at any specific moment
but yeah, this is for babycakes
I'd do whatever it takes
to be with her forever
yes, honestly, I'll do whatever

My self hatred
burns under my skin
my blood is poison
I'm danger.