everything is so cloudy i can't think straight i can't focus on anything all of my heartbreaks circle through my head screaming at me banging drums shattering silence and peace whispering doubts searing self-hate into my mind.
I write to try and make all of this vanish but it only makes it worse.
I live in many universes. See all sides of an issue. I am a dichotomy of a person.
Can you even be a person if you are a dichotomy?
my meds are making everything cloudy but they help me get out of bed somedays. does that make it worth it?
Head full of drugs Heart full of ache Hallucinations balance me out The other side of the teeter totter Empty like my vessel The concrete ground Nourishes nothing Faded yellow lines Habitually crossed For its with a heavy soul I bear myself to the bright lights Burn me down My ashes still float The decades have lied to me I was never right It seems to be that way doesn't it The lavender fields The gerbera daisies woven in your hair The flowing vocals Melodious interludes That was my profession I was to love thee With everything I had No one told me I could fail Especially you
Beware of the shadows in my mind For they will consume and encompass All who venture into its dismal marsh You will vanish under the earthy mire It does not discriminate You are just as appealing As the succeeding You, full of endearment, solicitude and adulation Nothing more than its commissariat A smorgasbord for its delight It bubbles and churns deep below Disgorging oily sublimate You can see your reflection A chimera peering back
Self medicated today. Its strange to write while like this.
Ive finally found some peace The suffering seemingly ceased These days have grown well As I feel my chest swell I bellow a song It has been too long I let it out low It begins to slow As I release the good feel I bow and I kneel I recognize this gift A chance I could've missed