She is but a dream;
a dream that would not fade,
even long after waking up.

We’ve had our time,
albeit too short.
We’ve had our chances,
but somehow, I still
managed to **** it all up.

Third time’s a charm,
perhaps?

Maybe, that’s why
I never got enough of you.
Maybe, I never will.
Maybe, you really are
the woman of my dreams.
And maybe, it is supposed
to stay that way...

...a dream.

Love.

It is that
baneful
medicine
we keep
taking...

...even
without
reading
the labels.

Truth is,
most of us
are junkies.
Always
chasing for
that hit,
paying with
our hearts,
all for the
high we get
from the
sweetest drug
called love.

But
I promised
myself that
I’ll be sober
and clean.
I need to
get you
out of
my system.

You loved.
You loved,
time and
time again.
But now,
it’s time to
love yourself.

Love is a hell of a drink.
One sip and it makes
you brave enough to
think you can win
against the world.
It also makes you
paranoid and panic
out of your wits as
you stare into the
eyes of obliteration.
But that’s what love does;
it musters courage and
summons the monsters,
then mixes it into a terrifying
concoction called risk.

I know you’re scared.
I am scared shitless, too.
Let’s get drunk together,
What say you?

I do not claim
to know much
about the stars
or the universe
or how it works;
but what I do
know is that
when two
celestial bodies
cross paths,
they can either
collide or alter
each other's
trajectories
forever.

Just like when
you meet certain
people in your life.

And then,
you’ll know
you have loved,
and by “loved”
I mean truly
loved someone,
when you can’t
bring yourself
to hate them
no matter how
much they’ve
hurt you.

To me,
you are
not just
another
means to
an end.

You are
the end.

You can avoid
it all you want.
Ignore it, if
you please.
Sooner or later,
it will haunt you
in uglier ways.
Because the only
way to heal
pain is to feel it;
to weather its gusts,
and to ride its waves.

Come to think of it,
the human existence
is full of unabating
obstacles that make
it quite impossible
to traverse without
stumbling and falling
through the cracks.
But that’s the beauty
of it, I guess.
And if you look
closely enough,
that’s where some
of the hardiest things
grow...

...through the cracks.

Clenched broken glass
cut deeper, which takes
a longer time to heal.

So let the jagged pieces loose.
Let it slip between your fingers.
Let it fall into its place.

Let it go.

To some,
it may look
and feel like
loneliness.

But to her,
it was far,
far better
than that.

It was freedom.

I guess there is that
kind of beauty
in this world;
when the flawed
and broken shards
are picked up
and pieced together.

Though it sometimes  
require bleeding cuts
and punctured hands..

..it's all worth it.

She loved someone
wholeheartedly,
yet her heart
still got trampled on.
But she dug deep and
found she still have
some love to give.
Only, she gave it to
herself this time
and that made all
the difference.

I am a mountain,
reaching upwards.
And you,
you are the stars,
and the sky
that I can only
ever wish
to touch.

I am a mountain,
in league with bards.
And you,
you are the stars,
and the sky.
Crash into me,
oh how
I long
for such.

I write to forget.
I write so I won’t forget.
It’s a losing bet.

Her eyes mimicked
the beckoning moonlight
refracting in the
stillness of the ocean;
revealing a wondrous
depth, and all the
walls I built came
crumbling down.

Fear and courage
skirmished inside
my head as I drift
deeper into the
dark of her eyes;
equally liberating
and terrifying,
knowing I might get
lost in it...

...but I won’t close
my eyes, nor will
I ever look away.

Perhaps, in a parallel universe;
or in another lifetime if there
is such a thing, we'll find each
other.

If we do, my hope is that we both
are free from the ghosts and echoes
of our past.

And if we are, I will love you just
the same as I do now, until my
bones are reduced to dust; in the
silent pauses of my heartbeat,
down to the very last of it.

I keep dying everyday,
or the pieces of the
man I was, rather.

With each day that passes,
old parts of me also
fade into oblivion.

I remember how much
I loved her.
I loved her, like how the clouds
clung to the sky.
I loved her, like how the stars
burned in the dark of night.

I also remember being
afraid, but hopeful.

I was afraid of who I will
become, when all of who I was
has passed.

But I was hopeful that
I will be free, at last.
For the man that I was,
knew not how not to love her.

Knock knock.
I've been knocking on
your door
for a while now.

A question, a haunting thought,
"how long can I keep doing this?"

From a dark corner,
heard a whisper;

"that door will never open
if you have no place to
dwell inside."

My heart sank, like a rock
thrown in a lake.

I already broke my heart waiting.
I don't want to break my hand,
if I keep trying.

I remember everything.
I’m not sure
if it is more
of a curse
than a blessing.

But I’m grateful.
Because of this,
I remember how
you made me feel;

like I can fight
a horde of monsters
and a legion of demons,
and I can win.

She is made
up of broken
bits and pieces,
held together
delicately by
her golden scars.

And that, my friend,
is what made
her beautiful.

We often wonder why our hearts
get broken, and I think I am
beginning to understand why.

A tiny thing, so precious yet so
fragile, had to be undone before
it can be made whole again.

My guess is, in putting the pieces
back together;
we find strength in weakness.
We find courage in vulnerability.
We understand ourselves better.

And with what we lose,
we also gain more of ourselves.

You cannot say you truly love her.

Not until you've seen the demons
she fought or still fighting to keep
her sanity, nor the monsters that
fuelled her nightmares.

Not until you've had an idea about
the storms she had to face bravely,
yet still managed to share her light
and warmth with you.

It's not always warm coffee and
blanket shared on cold mornings.

It's not always sunshine and butterflies.

It's not only her light that needs to be
cherished.

When you say you truly love her,
you gotta love her dark, too.

No, love.
I am not a knight in shining armour.
My armour is bent and dented and
cracked, and underneath it are cuts
and bruises and scars from the horrors
of countless battles I've seen, and
some of them almost did break me.

No, love.
I am not a knight in shining armour.
But if you'll have me,
I'm prepared to take a vow and swear
an oath of fealty and devotion and love.

You need only ask.

There is an entire universe
inside her head. And I'll be
kidding myself if I say I am
beginning to understand her,
when all I've ever done is just
catch a glimpse of the galaxies
within, through her eyes.

Now, despite having nebular
thoughts, what I know is that
I will neither fully grasp what's
going on in there nor will I ever
fathom the simplicity and
complexity of her soul.

But that's okay.
I'll love her, anyway.

There is strength in her heart,
like the waves that softened
a stubborn rock.
Warmth, like summer breeze
that gives solace to
a weary soul.
Radiance of the sun emanating
through her eyes,
and brings hope with every sunrise.

And I will love her,
until my heart caves in.

Fall came swift and true,
Ushered death to all things green.
But you did breathe life
to this desiccated heart;
Now blight-stricken, but alive.

Loving in silence;
much like solace and despair
vying for power.
Misery and ecstasy;
clashing in between heartbeats.

And I swam against the stream;
Swept by currents and hit rocks,
But I swam against the stream.

Forgive them today,
Or resent them everyday.
A tough choice, indeed.
One gives peace; the other, pain.
You're free to choose either way.

I may have written;
A thousand flowery words.
All of them fell short,
Paltry, meager rendition;
Of such beauty that is you.

Her tender heart is the goal;
The body's but a vessel.
I am in love with her soul,
And not only with her shell.

For a slightest chance,
All chips are in, all cards, drawn.
Some say I'm foolish;
Yes, maybe, but I don't care.
Happiness is just too rare.

At the break of dawn,
When tempests and tides subside;
I will remain here.
Bask in sunrise, awaiting;
Elusive silver lining.

I see you.
I wonder if you know how beautiful you are.
With the way you smile, the way you laugh.
I like seeing you having fun with your friends.
And I love that you are happy.
It makes me happy, too.
Exploring and discovering places with you.
Profound feeling, knowing that you're only inches away.
I laugh at myself sometimes, for always being nervous and awkward around you.
Because I know I'm not always like this at all.
Only when I'm with you.
The stairs were a pain in the *** but you made it bearable.
See, I don't really care if there's anything to be seen up there.
All I know is, the view ain't worth seeing without you.
And you're just too **** cute when you're ******!
But I do hope that you won't be ****** at me.
There's just so much to see in this beautiful country.
But what I realized was,
I did not come with you to see Taiwan,
I came to Taiwan to see you.

Hope alleviates;
Expectation desolates;
Choose wisely, my friend.