Give me the sunrise
Give me a new dawn
Let the sun soak into my skin
I'm so optimistic
A future shining so bright 

Give me the setting 
of the sun
rising over the ocean

Let me feel the heat

In this good feeling of emotion

I'm starting to pave my way

To the place, I've been trying to create

The one that is filled with serenity

The one that gives me the inner peace

That I need 
and wanted so badly

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

The sad memories
Are buried six feet under
I don't want to feel another
I held onto so much doubt
The pills wouldn't even drown it out
I had to work so hard
Just to be able to let go of my past
They say that is what makes your future
But I'll be ****** if I'm judged by a jury
I'll be ****** if I let life do that to me
I was hit and kicked while I was down
But I've got skin made of armor now
And I'm happy with where I'm at
That is something no one can take
And now I'm somebody
who doesn't easily break

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

I've taken every task
Thrown my way
I've given all the blood
I can give
I've said every word
To band aid that hurt
I've got scars that show
But they're just a reflection
Of who I used to be
I'm starting to look at life
with more positively
I'm starting to feel more secure
with who I am
I'm starting to feel happy within myself
that is something that has been
a long time coming
Now my world isn't crumbling
Before my eyes
Now I've seen hurt heal with time

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

©2017 Written By Benji James

Hello, fellow Hello poetry poets.
I hope that you all had wonderful New Year celebrations,
and I just want to say Happy New Year to each and every one of you that decide to read this.
Hellopoetry has been a big part of my life through 2018 I didn't expect too much when I came here I was actually introduced to this site or platform through a friend of mine.
He told me about it so that I could put my lyrics out there and share them with people who would appreciate the works that I had created just as much as I do. And I will be forever grateful for that advise.
Because when I came here I found people with a pure passion for the art of poetry and writing.
Now on to you my fellow poets, I just want to say a huge thank you to anybody who took time out of there lives to comment, like, etc on any of my material, I do not take what anybody has to say for granted.
2018 has been a big year of growth for me
I've learned to fight for my beliefs
Push boundaries as far as I possibly can
And I have so much more room to grow and so much more boundaries to push through this new year in 2019
Seriously Hellopoetry, You guys have all been great and supportive
An extra special thanks to Sue, for your kind messages and support
And you also inspired me to write probably one of my favourite pieces I have ever written called "Challenge Accepted"
And a big highlight for me was also getting The daily.
That really was an honour.
Once again a big thank you to everyone
I'm looking forward to more mind-blowing pieces of art created by this community, may you all have a prosperous year full of growth, kindness and love and I look forward to sharing more lyrics/poetry or whatever this brain tends to conjure and share within the near future

Peace Out
Much Love
Benji.

It seems I've been travelling around
Through the word of mouth
Look at the way they speculate
Whether I'm gay or straight
Some say that I am autistic
Used to be so optimistic
That we could unite and harmonise
But it seems we are too busy
Pointing out each other's flaws
And fighting needless wars

When did I become
The headline of everyone's day?
Why do I seem to be the topic
In the stories, they spread
It seems I'm the centre focus
Once again
I'm starting to question
Will this ever end?

What will they think of next?
What do I think of Bec and her new boyfriend?
It seems like everybody's
Watching every step I take
And hanging off of every word I say
And maybe I'm a little crazy
But could you really blame me?
They think I'm an attention seeker baby

When did I become
The headline of everyone's day?
Why do I seem to be the topic
In the stories, they spread
It seems I'm the centre focus
Once again
I'm starting to question
Will this ever end?

It seems to me
That I seem to be
The talk of the town
And all the rumours
Are circulating around
Everyone's questioning me
And my sexuality
Who I'm with, what I am
What I feel, what he writes,
Is it real?

When did I become
The headline of everyone's day?
Why do I seem to be the topic
In the stories, they spread
It seems I'm the centre focus
Once again
I'm starting to question
Will this ever end?

©2018 Written By Benji James

I can't stop my heart from aching
You're the one who stops it from breaking
My soul is yours for the taking
If you can keep me from fading
Away into the blackness of yesterday

I'm still trying to clear my conscience

I know you stored hope into your pocket

You're the one who keeps me 
from exploding like a rocket

It's amazing how you can stand by me

Girl, I can see it crystal clear

You'll always be here
No matter what I throw at you
No matter what we're going through
It's things like that, that make me think back
and realise everything is gonna be just fine.

©2017 Written By Benji James

You were taken way to soon
I guess God has big plans for you
How can I deal with these feelings
How can I concentrate
When I don't understand
Why you, were taken away
I'd come and join you tonight
Up in that starry sky
But I know you'd want me
To keep on living my life
So I promise you I'll fulfil my dreams
Just like I told you
There's still so much I haven't given
So tonight this one is for you

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
Sometimes it's hard
Just to make it through the week
Nothing has ever cut this deep
Why did you leave us
Why did God take you away
Why couldn't he have just let you stay
I question that every day
I know you'll still guide me,
I know if I'm lost.
You will find me
I feel your presence inside me
You'll always be here to stay
Nobody can ever take that away

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

The memories never fade
I can still clearly see your face
And the way you assured me
Everything's gonna be okay
I remember your embrace
The smiles you always gave
All the laughs and tears we made
I remember all your advice
Didn't even have to think twice
You pick me up
When I need you the most
You may have been, taken away
But I know you're here in me

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

I'm still torn,
That you're gone
But I know
you're always gonna be
Right here with me
I look to the sky
When I need some advice
Because I can still hear your voice
It speaks from deep inside
Telling me everything's
gonna be alright
I know you're out there
I know you care
Oh this one is written for you
I dedicate this song to you

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

I miss you
You'll always be in my heart
Hope you're feeling all my love
I never have to say goodbye
Because I'll see you on the other side
Up in that starry sky
In the starry sky
In the starry sky

©2018 Written By Benji James

I'm the one who suffers for my art
All these words I've written
Were written in blood
I still haven't played all my cards
Just like Gaga I've got a poker face
I've got a lot of talent left to showcase
There's a fire in my eyes destined for greatness
I've got no time left for haters
The fire of my passion blazes
No more broken mirrors,
No more razors
Had too many scars
Been to way too many dark places
Seen a lot of people can't place faces
By the time I'm done everyone will know my name
Cuz I'm so stuck into this love game
I've got nothing left I need to claim
All I want is my name engraved
On a heart in everybody's heart frame.

©2017 Written By Benji James

She's in love with him
While I'm in love with her
Through my eyes, I can see
Now that we are both cursed
That's when the feelings hurt
Somehow we don't think it can get
Any worse, and now I know why
She couldn't put me first.
When she loved him for so long
And it's not weakness for trying to be strong
I know for a while, I was gone
Couldn't stand the fact you loved him
Over me but now I can see
Why you picked him over me
Us together may feel so wrong
But how does this feel so right?
Hunni just speak to me just tell me why
Should we do this on our own?
We don't need to be forever alone.

My minds in space
But I'm stuck on this earth
It spins, and it turns
Just can't seem to find the words
Can't you hear the hummingbirds
Speaking tongue in cheek
Came to find, the colour that we seek
Just don't leave me weak
Because I'm just not at my peak
Together we can breathe
If you just speak to me.

Just couldn't reach those heights
Fell back out from the skies
Black mascara smudged under her eyes
We are each other's angels in disguise
How can I prove I'm here to provide?
Take some words from the wise.
Sticks and stones are ******* bones
Aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart
on this, I promise I'll play my part
Let's not leave each other lonely in the dark

You and I are one in the same
I'd rather live with the pain
Then live without you and go insane
Don't need to get caught in the rain
Suddenly it hits you like a train
Then every step you take
Starts to hurt your brain
We got each other tied into a chain
I lost control of this plane
I can be your superman
If you would be my Louise Lane

My minds in space
But I'm stuck on this earth
It spins, and it turns
Just can't seem to find the words
Can't you hear the hummingbirds
Speaking tongue in cheek
Came to find, the colour that we seek
Just don't leave me weak
Because I'm just not at my peak
Together we can breathe
If you just speak to me.

Just couldn't reach those heights
Fell back out from the skies
Black mascara smudged under her eyes
We are each other's angels in disguise
How can I prove I'm here to provide?
Take some words from the wise.
Sticks and stones are ******* bones
Aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart
on this, I promise I'll play my part
Let's not leave each other lonely in the dark

Just couldn't find each other's, love
Can feel your heartbeat
Pumping through my blood
Just to have you back would be enough
To kickstart this sugar rush
Although I didn't win the race
I still need you in this place
Thought this was just a phase
Couldn't overcome this craze
Somehow I'm still amazed
By everything that you gave
How do I put that into a phrase?
Because I just can't find a way
To tell you the things I want to say

My minds in space
But I'm stuck on this earth
It spins, and it turns
Just can't seem to find the words
Can't you hear the hummingbirds
Speaking tongue in cheek
Came to find, the colour that we seek
Just don't leave me weak
Because I'm just not at my peak
Together we can breathe
If you just speak to me.

Just couldn't reach those heights
Fell back out from the skies
Black mascara smudged under her eyes
We are each other's angels in disguise
How can I prove I'm here to provide?
Take some words from the wise.
Sticks and stones are ******* bones
Aimed with angry art
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart
on this, I promise I'll play my part
Let's not leave each other lonely in the dark

©2017 Written By Benji James

Just another year older
And the days grow colder
She still won't let me hold her
And it all comes down to the facts
It just seems to be how she reacts
And I couldn't careless
If I'd live or die

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

I'm lost in all you are
I'm losing my way
Walking into the wrong direction
Into your anger and perception
There is no need to mention
What you feel in this deception
I came to you and got corrected

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

All we had was a lie
There no way I can deny
It was all in my head
And in days I haven't slept
Because with you on my mind
How can I not think
will our two different worlds collide

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

©2017 Written By Benji James

Babe honestly I'm not handling
this world so well without you
There to keep me smiling
and I've tried creeping slowly back into your life
But things just don't feel the same

Why doesn't it all feel the same
?
Baby, please tell me

Highlight all of my mistakes

In the brightest colours

So it all stands out to the crowd
Because I'm picking up the Mic
tonight to scream my love for you out loud
Because baby I can't handle life without you
When you are the one who holds me up,
And I couldn't careless
if people think that I'm weak
Honest to God, I need you with me
To carry on and help mend up
the torn pieces of my heart
I don't want us to keep ripping apart
from one another
Because I'm not handling
this world so well without you.

©2017 Written By Benji James

The secrets you shared
Opened my eyes real wide
Had to take the burdens
That you bared
Couldn’t let them lead you to death
I ****** out the poisons
Plaguing your mind
I wasn’t about to sit on the sidelines
I’m a fighter
Takes a lot to knock me down
It’s gonna take a lot more to take me out

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Once purified
Now drowning in darkness
Opened eyes
Fill these abandoned woods
Everywhere I turn spirits haunt me
I’m not scared, I’m not afraid
It was in this place
My life was made
There’s comfort here
And I’m alright
I don’t second guess
The decision I made
Alone with the ghosts
You gave to me
I told you I’d take them from you baby

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Heaven shut me out
Long ago
I’m just another abandoned soul
I’ll walk these deserts for the rest of time
Taunted by the nightmares that kept you awake all night
I hope you sleep peacefully in dreams
You deserve the best baby
I’m the one who took your pain
Made it my own
Cuz I could not watch it hurt you, no more
I’ll fight for you forever
Your angel in the darkness
I’ll fight until the end
Until my wings are ripped from my back
Until my eyes run black

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

©2018 Written By Benji James

B-E-N-J-I
Come on you're way outta line
Hey, Hey
Say Hey
Out on the foreshore
Looking for some more Y'all
Come on you *****
Get out on the dance floor
Call for some more Y'all
Take me to the mall
Thinking bout you walking down the hall
For sure
Hey give me that
Picking up that shat
Put it under the mat
Ha...Ha, **** That!

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

Playing it single
Looking for some insults
Running from my result
Of being an adult
Just wanna let you know
I think ya mums a ***
Oh, oh **** ya wanna blow
I'll show you where to go
There he is now you know
Ya ******* wanna throw a punch
But I'll eat ya for ma lunch
Come on bring me down
And I'll take you downtown
Oh No what the ******* know
Ya know nothing and that's how it goes
Whoa, whoa!
Back up the chorus
It's not all for us
It's all for one
But I'm not done yall

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

They call me Benny
Just got change from a twenty
Y'all know so many
Wanna get me
But now you see
They all wanna leave
Because I ain't all that great
But still, they wait
Another rhyme on my hands
But I can't defend
Every man on this
God Forsaken Land
Show Me Where
I can put ma hands
On ya body
Can't touch me

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

One More Time Y'all
One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
And ******* to

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

©2017 Written By Benji James

If not for hellopoetry
I would have given up
The writing was starting to take its toll
Left me emotionally exhausted
I was forced to take a break
For all my energy it had drained
Sleepless nights, endless lines
Trying to switch off my brain
Left me depressed
When sentences formed
A story I'd tell
About my life in hell
Sometimes dramatised to a new level
Sometimes I have seen myself become the devil
All my emotions that stain the page
The blood, sweat and tears
Written into each line
Left me losing moments in time
And for this writing became a crime
Didn't feel like I was utilising my mind
Until recently I realised this was the only legacy
I would leave behind
I've seen this art in a whole new light
Through words on a page, I've shown my fight
I've shown all my emotions, I have been totally open
Gave my all in every line
Sprinkled in a flavour of rhyme
If not for hellopoetry all I'd have is blank pages
A mind full of lines, forgotten in time
Took some time to unwind
And that is when I realised
These writings and I are bound for life
I've learned to embrace this now
Finally proud of all my works,
how has it taken me this long
To fall in love with this art
If not for hellopoetry
An appreciation I would never have tasted
And this whole community I've embraced it
Don't care if you love or hate it
It's made me make some changes
If not for hellopoetry
There are talents I may never have uncovered
Some of us are still so young,
Still, more room left to improve
The elder ones raising us up
Understanding a whole new love for this art
I once said These lyrics were written in blood
Straight from the arteries from my heart
That metaphorically speaking
I spread all I am, all across the page
Bled the led with what I felt  
So much heart into every verse
All this time it was never a curse
It was something special I've been gifted
To get all these thoughts out of my system
If not for hellopoetry
I wouldn't be here...caught within this poetic atmosphere

©2018 Written By Benji James

If only life was bliss
If only I kept your kiss
If only life did not change
If only it wasn't so strange
If only you were still here
to you, I felt so near.
If only I wasn't so down
How can I change this frown?
If only we kept our words
If only we could fly like the birds

If only it weren't so lonely
I'd be by your side
Our two hearts would collide
If only you were here
Everything would feel so clear

All these silly indecisive decisions
Weigh on this troubled mind
Always seems to be complicated situations
Processing through this conscious conscience
Can't seem to digest all this information
Straight from the page to my brain
All I feel is disconnection
From this interjected rejection
Gotta break free of this intersection
Give me the will to pick the right direction

If only I had your touch
If only everyone loved so much
If only I could hear
If only I felt no fear
If only you felt me there
If only love was in the air
If only friends pulled through
If only I put my arms around you

If only it weren't so lonely
I'd be by your side
Our two hearts would collide
If only you were here
Everything would feel so clear

All these silly indecisive decisions
Weigh on this troubled mind
Always seems to be complicated situations
Processing through this conscious conscience
Can't seem to digest all this information
Straight from the page to my brain
All I feel is disconnection
From this interjected rejection
Gotta break free of this intersection
Give me the will to pick the right direction

If only I felt alive
If only I could find the drive
If only you had my heart
If only we weren't so far apart
If only we took a glance
If only we took a chance
If only we were all we could be
If only I didn't give you my soul
Then I wouldn't be stuck in this dark hole
IF only I didn't miss
If only you never gave me your kiss
If only it was so real
if only you turned the wheel
If only...
If only it weren't so lonely
I'd be by your side
Our two hearts would collide
If only you were here
Everything would feel so clear

All these silly indecisive decisions
Weigh on this troubled mind
Always seems to be complicated situations
Processing through this conscious conscience
Can't seem to digest all this information
Straight from the page to my brain
All I feel is disconnection
From this interjected rejection
Gotta break free of this intersection
Give me the will to pick the right direction

©2017 Written By Benji James

All those words
I should never have said
All those thoughts
That entered my head
Misreading situations
Placing false allegations
What am I doing here,
my mind is so unclear,
My windscreens fogging up
I'm drowning in the silence
All I want is to hear
Your voice calling out my name

It's not the same
Without you here
I can't bare to watch you leave
And I've made mistakes
It's okay,  it's my fault
I'll take the blame
I'm sorry for causing you all this pain
It's not the same
It's not the same
without you here

I'm sorry
For ripping apart your heart
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
And I'm sorry
For creating all these scars
I'll patch them up
I'll patch them up
I'm sorry for giving up
I'll make it up
(Just wait and see)
I'll make it up
I will make it up

How could I have caused such hurt
When I really love her
How could I not have seen the signs
She's been signalling all this time
How can I take back all I said
I've just gone and changed everything
I don't want this change
Don't want you to go away
Please stay, please stay
I'm reaching out my hands to you
I'm reaching out my hands to you

It's not the same
Without you here
I can't bare to watch you leave
And I've made mistakes
It's okay, it's my fault
I'll take the blame
I'm sorry for causing you all this pain
It's not the same
It's not the same
without you here

I'm sorry
For ripping apart your heart
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
And I'm sorry
For creating all these scars
I'll patch them up
I'll patch them up
I'm sorry for giving up
I'll make it up
(Just wait and see)
I'll make it up
I will make it up

After all, we have been through
After all this time
I'm losing you like this
Because of my selfish antics
How could I not see
How much you were hurting deep down inside
I'm supposed to be your protection
The one that you could turn too
Never should have let you
Fight these battles on your own
I've made mistakes
I've made mistakes
Yeah I hope and pray
That one day you might forgive me

It's not the same
Without you here
I can't bare to watch you leave
And I've made mistakes
It's okay, it's my fault
I'll take the blame
I'm sorry for causing you all this pain
It's not the same
It's not the same
without you here

I'm sorry
For ripping apart your heart
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
And I'm sorry
For creating all these scars
I'll patch them up
I'll patch them up
I'm sorry for giving up
I'll make it up
(Just wait and see)
I'll make it up
I will make it up

I love you so much
I'll repair your heart
From the damage that I've done
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
I love you for all you are
Shine bright my star
Shine bright my star
I love you for all you are.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I’m immortal
Through the things
That I write
I’m still shining bright,
Through my eternal light
And nothing can **** me now
Always going to be around
Just turn up the volume
You’ll hear my sound
Guess what, I’m on my grind now
Feel the ground fall out
From beneath your feet
I’m upside down
Feet planted firmly on the ground
Filling up the sky
With a brand new high

Get these ideas out of my head
You’ll see the imagery
Through each stroke of my pen
You got the signal
Just tell me when
You’re starting to feel the static
Electrified by my internal sparks
That’s the thing
that’s brought me this far
It’s taken me further
then any jet, train or car
Yeah take a good look
Cuz I just set the bar

Nobody anticipated
I could bring a whole new game
One beyond my lyrical fame
Gave the world a brand new taste
Made them note my name
Through these words
They got a whole new me
Finally, I could be taken seriously
Far from the jokes
That used to cover up my scars
They got a whole new glimpse
Into who I am
And that’s how I became more than I am
That’s how I surpassed just being a mortal man

Surprised by my godly glow
Found confidence in my flow
I planted the seed and watched it grow
Now I’ve formed a brand new home
Set the foundations
Followed through on highly regarded
Recommendations
And built a castle out of stones
These blisters on my hand's show
I sacrificed a lot to make it here
The blood that I shed
And every tear
Gave me the motivation
To create a whole new view
And from the tops of the tower
I can see a brand new world
One carved from deep within me

Get these ideas out of my head
You’ll see the imagery
Through each stroke of my pen
You got the signal
Just tell me when
You’re starting to feel the static
Electrified by my internal sparks
That’s the thing
that’s brought me this far
It’s taken me further
then any jet, train or car
Yeah take a good look
Cuz I just set the bar

Nobody anticipated
I could bring a whole new game
One beyond my lyrical fame
Gave the world a brand new taste
Made them note my name
Through these words
They got a whole new me
Finally, I could be taken seriously
Far from the jokes
That used to cover up my scars
They got a whole new glimpse
Into who I am
And that’s how I became more than I am
That’s how I surpassed just being a mortal man

Angels with harps
Sitting on clouds
Here the choirs sing out
Through orchestral music
My theme rings out
Do you hear me now?
Dream it loud
Working with all that I’ve got
And now I know that what I had
Was enough to create a brand new love
Passion and desire run through my brain wire
A whole lot of heart within these beats
Hear it play throughout these streets
This time I’m here for keeps
Won’t let them down
I’m standing proud
Set firmly on the hallowed ground
My spirit bound
Come set foot in my church now

Get these ideas out of my head
You’ll see the imagery
Through each stroke of my pen
You got the signal
Just tell me when
You’re starting to feel the static
Electrified by my internal sparks
That’s the thing
that’s brought me this far
It’s taken me further
then any jet, train or car
Yeah take a good look
Cuz I just set the bar

Nobody anticipated
I could bring a whole new game
One beyond my lyrical fame
Gave the world a brand new taste
Made them note my name
Through these words
They got a whole new me
Finally, I could be taken seriously
Far from the jokes
That used to cover up my scars
They got a whole new glimpse
Into who I am
And that’s how I became more than I am
That’s how I surpassed just being a mortal man

I’m immortal through all that I wrote
Just had to let y’all know
My lights shining bright
Through this eternal light
I’ll fly through starry skies
While I leave my readers starry-eyed

©2018 Written By Benji James

Are you ready, keep it steady
I got a secret I want to share
Turn the radio up, turn the radio up
I heard a rumour
That is going around
It seems I've copped a lot of flack
For my last lyrical attack
The word is out
Now there's no going back
Watch the mirror as it cracks, oh

I'm not sorry
I'm not sorry
I'm allowed to tell
my side of the story
I'm not sorry
I'm not sorry

No more keeping it inside
No more running
Nowhere left to hide
This emotional ocean
Just exploded
And I'm the volcano
Overflowing

I don't need any safety net
Because I'm standing on the edge
I'll take all the hate
I'll take all the blame
I'll take all the shame
I'll even take the pain
Eh this is my form of communication
Was never any good
at the small talk situation
This here is my outlet
This is when I'm in my mindset

I'm not sorry
I'm not sorry
I'm allowed to tell
my side of the story
I'm not sorry
I'm not sorry

No more keeping it inside
No more running
Nowhere left to hide
This emotional ocean
Just exploded
And I'm the volcano
Overflowing

I'm not taking any prisoners
I said I'll be letting loose
So maybe just don't go
and give me an excuse
To put you in my lyrics too
Maybe I was just a little mad
But I still don't feel bad
I needed to get it out of my system
Before my emotions caved in
Yeah maybe it was a bit too much
Maybe I hit a little bit hard
In the words that I wrote
That's just the road I chose to go

I'm not sorry
I'm not sorry
I'm allowed to tell
my side of the story
I'm not sorry
I'm not sorry

No more keeping it inside
No more running
Nowhere left to hide
This emotional ocean
Just exploded
And I'm the volcano
Overflowing

©2018 Written By Benji James

In a time when the world
Is looking for change
And everyone's had enough of the hate
And people are sick of political games
And people are seeking another way
To deal with all the corruption and I can feel a new symphony
And I can see people questioning
Everything going on in the background
And there starting to break out
No more silence
Because that's not the way
Yeah you've got to have your say

Can you feel the pressure uprising
Can you feel the earth tremble beneath your feet
And your eyes are wide open
Seeing information they've never seen
All the production behind the dream
Open up the curtain it's a manipulated scene

In a time we are looking for change
We all start to see
There is a better way
And voices shout out loud
Telling authority
We can't be, pushed around
In a time we are looking for change
We all start to feel
There is another way.

And all this time
How could we be so blind
When there selling weapons
to our enemies and sending out our soldiers to the front lines
What makes them think they can put a price on a life
So that they can gain control of resources that aren't ours
Guess its true money makes the world go round
And all this is spinning out of control

Can you feel the pressure uprising
Can you feel the earth tremble beneath your feet
And your eyes are wide open
Seeing information they've never seen
All the production behind the dream
Open up the curtain it's a manipulated scene

In a time we are looking for change
We all start to see
There is a better way
And voices shout out loud
Telling authority
We can't be, pushed around
In a time we are looking for change
We all start to feel
There is another way.

How can you trust the media when all they feed is lies
a lot of the time
And keyboard warriors out there put their mouths into stories
where they just don't belong
There hating on someone
Who doesn't always deserve it
Because they don't see all the facts
All the media care about is a good story
Even if that means false reporting
It's all about the money they make
Or the power it brings to people who own the company
Taking advantage of everyone who believes
What they see on the TV

Can you feel the pressure uprising
Can you feel the earth tremble beneath your feet
And your eyes are wide open
Seeing information they've never seen
All the production behind the dream
Open up the curtain it's a manipulated scene

In a time we are looking for change
We all start to see
There is a better way
And voices shout out loud
Telling authority
We can't be, pushed around
In a time we are looking for change
We all start to feel
There is another way.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Back on my high horse
Preaching, teaching
information, education
How to be a better creation
Of your own making
If I fall off my pedestal
I'll surely die
because I'm up so high
Stop trying to knock my know-nothings
Filling the air with empty words
They only fall on deaf ears
Inspirational quotes
Shared on virtual screens
You get lost somewhere in between

©2018 Written By Benji James

Can't keep up with these kids
Outrun, outclassed
Left flat on my ***
Trying to reach a new level
Making bargains with a devil
Got left in the dirt
Feelings hurt
That's why I sold my soul
Soulless, No emotions
Now try to read my cards
Opinions inflicted wounds
Labels covered me
Until I washed them clean
Now I won't let anybody place me in a box
I'm cunning, You can call me Mr Fox
Cuz I'm unique, Individuality, Totally me
May never be on top
But I am everything else that you're not.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Locked lips,
Can’t get enough of the flavour
Of your sweet kiss,
need another taste of it
Your fingers between mine
Feeling enchanted by your smile
Each magical moment
Just us two
I know there is nothing else
I’d rather do
then just lay here with you

You’ve got that infinite
Kind of love
The type that always lasts  
Until the end of time
Never get tired of looking
Deep into your enamoured eyes
As sparks fly between you and I
I’m obsessed with your design
Are you tired,
From running through my mind?
Only place I wanna be
is by your side

All these adventures
All these songs we share
Your cuteness is more
then I can bare
Your so beautiful
Can’t help but stop and stare
I love the way you want to model
All the different outfits
that you wear
You do it with vigour and flare

You’ve got that infinite
Kind of love
The type that always lasts  
Until the end of time
Never get tired of looking
Deep into your enamoured eyes
As sparks fly between you and I
I’m obsessed with your design
Are you tired,
From running through my mind?
Only place I wanna be
is by your side

Conversations so deep
Between you and me
An ocean overflowing
with pure devotion
Filled with loving emotion
To the depths of the sea
My heart bleeds
You’re all I need
You’re all I see
So in love with you
Destined to be
Together forever

You’ve got that infinite
Kind of love
The type that always lasts  
Until the end of time
Never get tired of looking
Deep into your enamoured eyes
As sparks fly between you and I
I’m obsessed with your design
Are you tired,
From running through my mind?
Only place I wanna be
is by your side

©2024 Written By Benji James

If love lives forever
I want your name inked into my skin
But they say don't do it
Love never lasts forever
But she's not just my heart
She's my soul. She's my life
She's the air that I breathe
I would do anything for her
Even if it meant losing my life
So bring on the pain
Inject the ink into my skin
These are some lyrics with a meaning

Nobody's perfect, You see
Have you ever hurt so much
You wanted to take your life
Well you see time after time
I wrote how hard it was living without you
But it got me wondering
If I loved you so much
Why am I not dead
And it came to me
Your my drive, Your my hope
Every time I see that picture of you
I know I'm not alone
So sick of writing songs about death
I mean I don't want to die
but a life without you is hard to bare
But they say love hurts anyway
You just got a find the one person
Worth suffering for and your worth
Your wait in gold

If love lives forever
I want your name inked into my skin
But they say don't do it
Love never lasts forever
But she's not just my heart
She's my soul she's my life
She's the air that I breathe
I would do anything for her
Even if it meant losing my life
So bring on the pain
Inject the ink into my skin
These are some lyrics with a meaning

Girl, I haven't been talking to you
I wonder if you ever notice there's
a person missing from your life
remember the boy that stuck by you through
every hard time but all of a sudden he's gone
But truth is this was a test
To see if you cared
It seems like you failed me this time
You said you would be there
But I was hurting and I'm still all alone
But its okay, I'm alright
(Yeah) Almost turned to drugs
Took up cigarettes
Because I couldn't stand
The pain of knowing you weren't there
But I quickly gave it up
Because I wasn't thinking clearly
Death was on my mind every night
See I started writing a song
Saying it was all over
But then I thought of you
Scrunched it up
Tore it apart and threw it away
Because I ain't given up

If love lives forever
I want your name inked into my skin
But they say don't do it
Love never lasts forever
But she's not just my heart
She's my soul she's my life
She's the air that I breathe
I would do anything for her
Even if it meant losing my life
So bring on the pain
Inject the ink into my skin
These are some lyrics with a meaning

I'm still here, Your the medication to my pain
But your the pain to my pain
It's like ******* it drives you insane
I wrote these other songs about you
And in it, I kiss you
But the truth is our lips have never collided
I kissed you in my dream. It felt so right.
It changed my life
Not sure if you understand, What I'm saying
But if anybody hurts you again, I'll be there
I know it seems like I'm gone
But I've been here all along
Better watch out baby because I'm on my way back
Ready to fight, I'll be ready to save your life
Bet you never could imagine you were my saviour
And protection and you didn't even have to say anything
See I have this picture of you and whenever I'm feeling down
Feel like I'm up against the world
I just look at your smile. It lights me up
Feel Like I can see my name in city lights
Importance returns to my mind
And I feel the urge to pick myself up from the dirt and
Take on the whole universe
You see I'm gazing at stars knowing that somewhere out there
You're looking at them to
Just hope you can feel the love I'm sending you

If love lives forever
I want your name inked into my skin
But they say don't do it
Love never lasts forever
But she's not just my heart
She's my soul she's my life
She's the air that I breathe
I would do anything for her
Even if it meant losing my life
So bring on the pain
Inject the ink into my skin
These are some lyrics with a meaning

Remember I said I dreamt of you
Well it was like heaven on earth and when I kissed those cherry lips
It felt so good, It took me higher than I've ever been
It never felt more right, If thats what it's like
I'll take the pain and the suffering
You might be the girl I've never had
The girl I'll never have
And I know I can never replace you
Truth is I'll probably keep crying and feel like I'm dying
But I'm movin up, Movin on
Baby, Benny's home
And he's never felt more right (alright)
Creativity has taken over tonight
Look out he's back on a high
look towards the sky and see him flying
Your gaurdian angels back with a vengance
Nobody's gunna want to hurt you again
Because if they do he'll be there to hurt them
I get jealous when I see you with another man
But I'll hold it in
Because seeing you happy is worth it
Sometimes I wish I got a text or a facebook message
Saying you miss me
It makes me feel invincible and amazing
But its okay, I'll be alright
Because I see that picture of you
And it eases my suffering
It keeps me happy
I feel like it's our destiny to be together
But even if it's not your always gunna be the one I want
I would give it all up for you
If losing my life meant saving yours
I wouldn't question or give it a second thought
Baby I would take that bullet to my heart

If love lives forever
I want your name inked into my skin
But they say don't do it
Love never lasts forever
But she's not just my heart
She's my soul she's my life
She's the air that I breathe
I would do anything for her
Even if it meant losing my life
So bring on the pain
Inject the ink into my skin
These are some lyrics with a meaning

I've never felt more amazing than I do tonight
Just think who's missing out of your life
Think back to all the things I said to you
Then you'll know this songs for you

©2017 Written By Benji James

(Yeah)
It seems I had to go and write
Untitled part two
Just to express
How much I hate you
Shouldn't have got that tattoo
The one that everybody
told me not to
Yep shouldn't have gotten
Your name Inked into my skin
That was a mistake
That shouldn't have been
But it seems
I was too stubborn to listen
Said I wouldn't be
another one of your victims

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe that you could hurt me.

Remember the time
You said that you'd be mine
So I left the girl
I could have been with
Just to get stabbed in the back
By you, never thought,
you could get so cruel.
You selfish *****
You left me to rot in a ditch
Broken hearted.
Goodbye dearly departed
Nah you are freaking *******
Do you think I'll let you
walk away, that easily?
I want you to feel
Everything you did to me
Like Remember when you said
That you loved me
You said it so convincingly
And did it so consistently
Only to **** me emotionally
and make it hurt physically
When your words hit
They hit like a brick
I shouldn't have sat
and taken it silently
I should have retaliated violently

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Oh here it comes
Said I'd be your guardian angel
But now I hope you burn in hell
For leaving me to burn in the flames
To drown in your little love game
Yeah said I'd rise from the ashes
A Phoenix of vengeance
I never pretended I was in love
I never betrayed you in anyways
And how do you repay me
But walk away,
forgot every word
You ever said to me?
Do you know how much that hurt?
Do you know how much that burnt?
No, no you don't
Because you didn't careless
How I felt
And I gave you everything
Only to have it
thrown back in my face
Think your gonna
get away with that?
Nah **** I won't
let you get away with it

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Stop psychologically messing
With my head
Because you plagued my mind
One, two, too many time
Everything we had
between you and I
Was all based on a lie
And I can't even explain how or why
I should have known
That I couldn't trust you
I should have seen all the cracks
Starting to show through
I should have known
That I couldn't let you in
So that you could
Just try to find a way to win
Should never have shown
you all of my scars
Just so you could cut in deeper
That made me bleed a lot easier
Yeah well, guess what girl?
This ends here, I've had enough
Because there was
never gonna be an us
I can't trust you now
I couldn't trust you then
So I'm gonna leave
you lying in the dirt
If you ever come running back again

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

©2017 Written By Benji James

You call this a gift?
I call it a curse.
Turning all my thoughts into words
I don't qualify for love
Cuz I'll never be good enough

You think Say Goodbye wrote itself 

Nah I pulled that story off my dusty shelf

That's where all the skeletons and demons lie

The ones that taunt me deep inside 

this is just a glimpse into my tormented mind

Don't like tapping into my darker side

All the things that I've applied to life

Is to try and fill a hole inside

One that hungers for more

Then I can give 

Watch your soul; you could be next.

The soul to fill the hole in my chest 

And all the darkness that lies dormant inside

Ignites a fire in my eyes

So tired of hiding all these lies

But I've got no senses I can hardly cry.

Maybe I should try one last time

To shed a tear and clear my conscience

To set free all the skeletons in my closet 

To set free all the spirits in my mind

I should try that one last time

even if costs me my life.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I want to see you in my sights
I want to feel you're on my side
I want you in my life
Be my light
This feels just right
My hearts in flight
Watch this love ignite
A fire so bright
I need you in my skies
I wanna watch you shine
Like the stars at night
I see that sparkle in her eyes
Time flies by
Every time I see her smile
I need that drug, every once in a while
I wanna see her in my sights
I wanna feel her on my side
I need her in my life
Oh be my wish that comes true
I wanna feel you are feeling me too
Wanna be stuck to you
Stuck together like glue
Yeah just us two
Let it be, just me and you
Will stick it through
Together we can prove
That we can do
Anything we put our minds to.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Do you hurt the way I do?
Can you feel love?
Should everybody know,
how does it feel to be loved?
Can you see?
Can you see all the hatred I see?
Would you be,
would you be there for me?

All these questions,
in our heads
All these thoughts,
come flooding in
Tell me what you're feeling, yeah
Tell me what you're thinking, yeah
Let's lay our troubles down,
lets let it all out
Instead of bottling it up
And carrying it around.

Do you feel?
Do you feel the frustration?
Are you sick?
Are you sick of straining?
Does your energy,
Does your energy feel like it's draining?
What are people saying?
Are they saying you are
taking everything in vein?
(MMMM)
Tell me everything,
Tell me all that's on your mind.

All these questions,
in our heads
All these thoughts,
come flooding in
Tell me what you're feeling, yeah
Tell me what you're thinking, yeah
Let's lay our troubles down,
lets let it all out
Instead of bottling it up
And carrying it around.

Do your thoughts,
do your thoughts keep you awake real late?
Tell me is there,
is there a solution for what you're feeling, yeah
(MMMM)
Can you see?
Can you see there are people
who want to be there
Can you trust?
Can you trust in another person's love?
Can you confide?
Can you confide in another person's heart?
Do you know,
do you know there's someone to help you out there, yeah

All these questions,
in our heads
All these thoughts,
come flooding in
Tell me what you're feeling, yeah
Tell me what you're thinking, yeah
Let's lay our troubles down,
lets let it all out
Instead of bottling it up
And carrying it around.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Do you think about the times?
We used to have each others backs
Do you remember the times?
We used to tell each other our deepest secrets
No matter how big the scars
What happened to us?
The one I could trust, What happened
To the love, The one I could count on
Where have you been, Where have you gone
Thought you were here to catch me, when I fall
I'm so close to being torn,
I need you back inside these walls.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I've written to many lines
Trying to define how I live my life
They wanted a front row view
So I'm gonna give it to you
Feel the tears roll down my cheeks
To many years have I been haunted,
Taunted by past memories
Trying to shake all the hurt inside of me.
And when you despise every part
From your head to your toes
Hate every part of you 
From your heart to your soul
To many times people have dragged you down
And I don't think of myself as a victim
But sometimes I feel like I have no reason for living.
You've been shot down so many times
Believe in one to many lies
Can't you see despair in my eyes
And inside innocence dies
To many times I heard to many cries
But how can I save people
When I can't save myself
How do I hold everyone up
When my strength just isn't at it's peak
And all they see is weakness in me
Take my tears, consumed from fears
I don't like where I'm at right now
I wanna break and tear these walls down
Cuz I'm afraid of being left in the dark alone.

I have something
I need to get off my chest
and this is the way
I know I can bring it out best

Two thousand and eleven
was supposed to be my year
that's when you left me for him
and you thought everything we had
was just gonna be another fling
Girl, I don't play people
It's not my thing
I almost made the mistake
of letting you go
I could have left you in the dust
and moved on through this life
When the message I sent you
said I needed time to sought myself out
You replied with, Why? and laughed
I thought about every single word
put so much thought and effort
into every line, I said and sent you
They were the longest messages
I'd ever sent anyone
I'm not sure you gave a ****
Not sure you even care

I don't know
What I'm doing back
in the studio
Trying to make this song for you
So you see, feel what's going on
deep inside of me, what's been yearning
to be set free
and you didn't think I could communicate
like this, I'm full of surprises
What else can I say, so take the chance
allow me to explain
everything that's going on
deep inside of me

Uh, he acts like he owns your heart
But he doesn't know much about the art of love
And I'm not gonna let him
Tear what we have left apart
I'd fight for you, Die for you
I'd fight for everything we have left
so if you want this, you'd better start
showing me a little more interest
If you want me to stay
better say something
this is getting ridiculous
Can't read your mind, every single time
I'm tired of chasing, playing silly games
Girl, am I some sought of back up plan?
I need a little more respect
If you want me to invest
All this love I have for you
I'm taking a little more control
So if you don't want me anymore
Say something, so I can let go.

I don't know
What I'm doing back
in the studio
Trying to make this song for you
So you see, feel what's going on
deep inside of me, what's been yearning
to be set free
and you didn't think I could communicate
like this, I'm full of surprises
What else can I say, so take the chance
allow me to explain
everything that's going on
deep inside of me

I'm not some sought of hypocrite
Believing in every feeling that you're giving
So you better slow it down
Explain to me what you want to do now
Can't read your mind honey
Sometimes I need a little direction
I don't have the power of perception
stop playing me like a fool
Can't fight for someone
When they don't want to be fought for
What's the point of giving my all
To somebody that doesn't want me around no more
So show me a sign, that you want me around
I ain't playing second so I can be your rebound
someone you can bounce back off
so that you still feel wanted
because baby, I'm not somebody
you can just take for granted
I'll go and give another girl a chance
Because my hearts just not something
I'm willing to break again
Especially when you couldn't even give me a chance
To prove I had what it takes to be your man.

I don't know
What I'm doing back
in the studio
Trying to make this song for you
So you see, feel what's going on
deep inside of me, what's been yearning
to be set free
and you didn't think I could communicate
like this, I'm full of surprises
What else can I say, so take the chance
allow me to explain
everything that's going on
deep inside of me

©2018 Written By Benji James

It's time to come to terms
With the past things I've learned
How the hurt and pain
Affects people in so many ways
How you think you'll surpass the storm

The everlasting damage 

From the lightning striking 

Wait let's not move too far ahead

Because surviving the storms rage

Is all part of the first act in the play

Well guess what I'm trying to say

Is that the blood we gave 

To make it to the place we made

Was a way to create 

A haven somewhere to escape 

Reflect on the past decisions

The hurt and pain it comes in visions

All the incisions 
were encrypted, into my skin

To remind me of the scars you made

All of the mistakes I'd make

The ones I could never shake

So I inflicted pain 

For all the rage I'd face

Stuck in a constant state of hate

Lost in space, caught in a cage

Stole the innocence and grace 

that is what I gave to pave my way

Into the future, I'd create.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Is it just me, or is the talent on here getting better and better?

You wanted me
To take you in deep
You wanted me
To let you in
take you underneath of my skin
So this is where I thought I'd begin
I beat myself up
For every mistake that I make
Can't help it
When everyone's calling you stupid
And dragging you down
Even my own family
Says I'll never be
The star I wanted to be
I wanted to shine brightly
To prove I could become
The person that I wanted to be
But it seems
that'll never happen for me

Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everyone else?

I write songs about me dying
Truth is I don't wanna die
I'm too afraid to take my own life
Cuz I don't know what the hell
Is on the other side
I'd rather deal with the pain
That is burning inside
I'd rather have regrets
Overrunning my mind
Then find out,
what is on the other side
After we finish living our lives.

Look at the ****
I come up with
When I'm on my own
It looks like I'll sit here crying
All alone
And sometimes your only
A stone throw away
But somehow you still don't see me
I'm here suffering in agony
And your right there
Not seeing through my invisibility

Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everyone else?

I write songs about me dying
Truth is I don't wanna die
I'm too afraid to take my own life
Cuz I don't know what the hell
Is on the other side
I'd rather deal with the pain
That is burning inside
I'd rather have regrets
Overrunning my mind
Then find out,
what is on the other side
After we finish living our lives.

I shouldn't let this misery
Get the best of me
Ah all these people
Keep picking me to pieces
All I wanna do is scream
Cuz all the fragmented parts
Of my soul
Just won't fit back together
And the situation isn't getting better
And I'm falling deeper
Save me from this conscience eater
There's a monster growing inside
Overtaking my mind

Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everyone else?

I write songs about me dying
Truth is I don't wanna die
I'm too afraid to take my own life
Cuz I don't know what the hell
Is on the other side
I'd rather deal with the pain
That is burning inside
I'd rather have regrets
Overrunning my mind
Then find out,
what is on the other side
After we finish living our lives.

Can you show me
What it feels like
To be loved
To be loved
Can you show me
What it feels like
To be loved
To be loved
Isn't is enough
Isn't it enough that I hate myself
Without being hated by everybody else

©2017 Written By Benji James

INTRO
She said you could
Write me a love song baby
But that doesn't mean
You're getting anything

From me.

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

V1
(Hey) I've been there
Don't take ****
But this girl,
She is fine
Just wish I could make her mine
You know what I'm saying
She doesn't come easy
Got a work hard (Yeah)
She expects commitment
Trust and stuff
But I don't care
I'd do it for her
She's the only girl I want
In my arms, Gunna hold her tight
Kiss her and tell her she is my life
(Yeah) Can't seem to get her
out of my head
Got my pen on the paper
The thoughts come out
And I'm writing something
New every single night
It's all about you
I can't stand this girl

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

V2
I've had a fist full of regrets
Seen a million sunsets
But for some **** reason
I can't seem to forget
Trying to put you
In an outlet
But your still there in my head
(Hey) Do you feel me
Do you understand
What's being said
(Yeah) Got love songs on repeat
No wonder I can never
get to sleep
To busy thinking about you
And all of the things that we could do
Oh baby

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

V3
(Hey)
Hey, Is there anybody out there
(Hey)
Hey, Do you hear what I'm saying
(Yeah)
Can you understand me
Do you get what I'm feeling
The memories keep flying
Soon I'm gonna be busting
Through the ceiling
Do you know
What you do to me
I just wanna feel you'
And kiss you into the evening
There are four words
I gotta say to you
and that is
(Baby I Love You)

CHORUS
It always seems to be
Complications, Situations
It ain't easy
When you're in love
But when you hit that feeling
It rises you up
You'll be so high
That no one can touch
Or bring you down
You are invincible now

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Trying to make the most of each moment,
Trying to stay positive and not lose hope
Kicked my toe, on the bed corner
**** hurts like hell
Bad luck streaks building up again
This has to change sometime soon
They say good things will come to you
The longer you wait,
the bigger the reward
Starting to think those people are all talk
Not sure where they picked up that thought

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Lost all sense of social skill
Can't chill, can't keep it real
Trying to find the light
Amongst all this dark
Trying to find something
To spark this broken heart
Nothing seems to go to plan
Keep trying to improve myself and
become a better man
Insecurities are getting the better of me again

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Feels like I'm wishing
On broken mirrors
Life really kicks you
When your down
Thought there wasn't anything lower than the ground
It seems I've found a deeper ditch
Sometimes life makes you its *****
And you get fed up with all this ****
And all you can think
Yeah all you wanna do
Is sleep the whole day through

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

©2017 Written By Benji James

Sitting next to you on the couch
Her eyes fixated on the TV screen
I can’t help but watch you
out of the corner of my eyes
Watch the reactions you give
Every emotion that takes place
Upon your face
Every line that marks your skin,
every crease in your smile
Can’t help but see every beautiful
thing about you.

It’s alright, it’s alright
Just give me what you’ve got
Seeing you happy
That is all I really want
A heart still beats
Never fails to stop
It’s alright, It’s alright
Just give me what you got

Walks through the park
After dark, arms interlocked
Eyes connect, Small Talk
Heartfelt words,
fall from her lips
The sweetness taste within her kiss
Starlit skies, illuminated city lights
Nobody’s around except for you and I.

It’s alright, it’s alright
Just give me what you’ve got
Seeing you happy
that is all I really want
A heart still beats
Never fails to stop
It’s alright, It’s alright
Just give me what you got

There’s a brightness
That shines straight from her soul
And apart of me
She is always gonna be
Everything inside of my mind
Realises she is one of a kind
And I can think of a million reasons why
I’d want to spend the rest of my life
With you, nothing is ever beyond our reach
So long as I’m with you,
I’ve got every reason to smile

It’s alright, it’s alright
Just give me what you’ve got
Seeing you happy
that is all I really want
A heart still beats
Never fails to stop
It’s alright, It’s alright
Just give me what you got

©2017 Written By Benji James

There is one thing in life you need,
it's love
When it hits you
It takes you over
It moulds you into all that you can be
That is how you know
You've found that special someone
And they are all you can see
they inspire you to be
The best that you can be
With tender hearts
full of love
We could be set free

I want you, I need you
To show me how to love you
We can feel it
It teases
To make us believe it
You've got to know it's true love
I want to kiss you
Feel you
Because you mean everything to me

Never leave me
Because I couldn't bare
To stand the pain
Because you've made me
Everything I am today
Without you, I have no hope
Because you're the one who helps me fly
You help me feel that fresh air
And I can't help but look at you in awe
In all that you are
Because when these feelings strike me down
Hit with cupids arrow now
I know there's not a care in the world but you and I

I want you, I need you
I feel you
You've always got me
Where you want me
You've got that special gift
I'm sensing it
You've got that special touch
To make feel everything at once

Don't ever let this end in tragedy
Because from the first time I saw you
You completely caught my eye
Felt everything heat up on the inside
Blood was rushing, face was blushing
Oh, girl, I think I've got a crush and
I was precautious
But you smiled with that tender touch
Your eyes and lips, they lit me up
Don't want this to ever stop
You grabbed me and wrapped me
In your enamoured heart
and I fell deeply in your love
Everything falls into place
When you're around
You keep me in control
and that's why I need you

I want you, I need you
I can't resist you now
I want your kisses
You're my princess
You're the only girl,
I need in my world
So stay with me
In the moments forever, together
You're all I see,
You bring out the best qualities in me
And that's why it's just you and I
Together for the rest of our lives
Because nothing beats true love

Killed vibes, killer lines
I ****** these verses every time
Always got my heart out on the line
Always on the lookout
For that perfect rhyme
Every night I just have to write
I can't stop I'm addicted to this
I like the feeling it gives
Especially when others
Find a connection
Then they find it worth expressing
That is a powerful thing
It leaves me in awe
It just makes me want
To do this even more

Jot these thoughts
With a pen and pad
Give them a story
To which they can relate
Even if it's something fake
Surprise and shock
Is something I love
Like to make people think
Like people to relate
And let them know
there are people out there
Who feel the same way.

Don't need no psychologist
To diagnose me
Truth is I'm not that crazy
These are thoughts everyone thinks
I just put them on public display
On my **** Facebook page
Hey, hey thought of a topic
I can completely address today
Pass me the megaphone
I got something to say...
Jot these thoughts
With a pen and pad
Give them a story
To which they can relate
Even if it's something fake
Surprise and shock
Is something I love
Like to make people think
Like people to relate
And let them know
there are people out there
Who feel the same way.

Hey, hey
To all the Unknown
The faithless, faceless
Looking for a voice
Looking around Y'all gotta choice
In the sadness, loneliness
You're looking for a way out
Everyone that's so full of doubt
Turn to blades, drugs or alcohol
There are other solutions
Listen up now
I put my thoughts
Into a chorus and a verse
The best way out
Is to put your thoughts into words

Jot these thoughts
With a pen and pad
Give them a story
To which they can relate
Even if it's something fake
Surprise and shock
Is something I love
Like to make people think
Like people to relate
And let them know
there are people out there
Who feel the same way.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Should have known it would come to this,
plagued by all these thoughts,
how did I miss all the signs,
tried to give you my all,
Handed you my heart on a plate,
Only for you to drop it on the cold hard floor.
I’m in pieces, scattered, shattered,
baby I can’t do this anymore.
Had to go, this time baby,
I had to walk out the door.
Can’t keep letting you hurt me, like this.
can’t say I didn’t try,
can’t say I didn’t try to fight,
had to do this, had to say goodbye.

I’m looking up, looking forward
Where to next, I’m not sure
Not sure, what the future has in store.
Guess I better take a few steps
See where this road leads
Where will I go,
what new faces will I see
Keep telling myself.

Come on just breathe in deep,
you can do this
Done this a hundred times before
Pick your heart back from the floor
Roll up your sleeves,
gotta breathe, lift your head high.
You know what you gotta do next right,
just breathe in deep,
You can do this, Take a few steps,
then take your next breath.
Don’t look back, keep moving, keep breathing.

People say sometimes,
you just need to write a new chapter,
I say why not throw away the whole book,
yeah start fresh all over again.
Because this story doesn’t seem to be going my way.
Sometimes you gotta make a big change,
So things don’t feel the same
Need to set a course in a new direction,
Take elements of this life that I like,
and apply it to a new life,
I can be proud to call mine.
All these thoughts are coming from deep within,
My mind feels clearer then it has ever been.
Only question left, Is where and what do I do next?
Sometimes it’s just best to keep walking until you find,
the next mountain you need to climb,
so you can feel on top of the world again.

I’m looking up, looking forward
Where to next, I’m not sure
Not sure, what the future has in store.
Guess I better take a few steps
See where this road leads
Where will I go,
what new faces will I see
Keep telling myself.

Come on just breathe in deep,
you can do this
Done this a hundred times before
Pick your heart back from the floor
Roll up your sleeves,
gotta breathe, lift your head high.
You know what you gotta do next right,
just breathe in deep,
You can do this, Take a few steps,
then take your next breath.
Don’t look back, keep moving, keep breathing.

©2017 Written by Benji James

I love my music loud even when I am sleeping, Cuz I love to drown in all the emotions that the music brings out in me.

Driving home
Song reminds me of you
Comes on
That's when I break down
Eyes will be red
From all the tears
I'm gonna cry now
Don't know how I fell this hard
For somebody, I never met
The only answer I can get is
I'm in love with the idea of you
I'm sorry for lashing out
Just wanted you to be all in
Didn't like the games
it felt like you were playing

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

There seems to be
All these little things
That just remind me of you
And I'd give anything
Just to talk to you
You know I would
(You know I would)
Images flash in my head
Memories of you
Can't escape
This heartbreak
Can't find a way
To lose these feelings
You gave

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

Feels like I've lost
A part of my soul
Feels like there's a massive hole
Inside of me
Where you used to be
I'm trying to fill it
With something else
Can't seem to find something
That makes me feel the same way
That I feel about you
Still crushed
Still, hurts with every heartbeat
Ode to her on repeat
Can't believe I lost it all
Just like that
It all ended
Just like that

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

Still, love ya
Still, want ya
Want you to know
This heart is still yours
No matter what you think
What you thought
I was always gonna be yours
I may be, broken
Shattered at the core
But I'd go back through it all
for you
I'd do anything for you

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I’m sorry
For all the ways I broke your heart
The way I cut us off
Cuz I was craving somebody else
That went on to hustle my heart
Made some bad decisions in my life
Hey girl, I don’t regret it
All I can say is I’m sorry
For the way I hurt you
You deserve real love
From somebody who can return
the love that you’re giving
All I can say is I’m sorry
From the depths of my soul

Karma got me in the end
I’m more alone than I’ve ever been
And this is what I deserve
For causing all of this hurt
From your pain
There was nothing I could gain
Tried to make the right choices
For the both of us
Never meant to cause this misery
and the resentment you now have against me.

I’m sorry for all the ways
That I have let you down
Don’t expect forgiveness
From you now
I’m still saying sorry
For all the things that I have done
I confess I didn’t mean no harm
But I know all the ways that I broke your spirit
I hope through my lyrics
You will see I didn’t really mean it
To end in this way, had to leave you
When I seen you couldn’t even speak to me
No hard feelings darling.

Karma got me in the end
I’m more alone than I’ve ever been
And this is what I deserve
For causing all of this hurt
From your pain
There was nothing I could gain
Tried to make the right choices
For the both of us
Never meant to cause this misery
and the resentment you now have against me.

Sorry for all those words
That would have stung
When I told you I wasn’t in love
With you, the way I was in love with her
Was one of the hardest things
I’ve ever done
Had to follow my heart
Wanted to be with the one I truely loved
And that meant letting you down
I know I failed your trust
I know things will never be the same
And you have every reason
To be angry at me
For the love that you truely felt deep inside
And I cut in deep, like a knife
When I told you,
I couldn’t see you
As the significant other in my life
And I’m okay, I’m doing alright
Hope you found happiness
Hope you found love
All I can say is sorry
From the bottom of my heart

Karma got me in the end
I’m more alone than I’ve ever been
And this is what I deserve
For causing all of this hurt
From your pain
There was nothing I could gain
Tried to make the right choices
For the both of us
Never meant to cause this misery
and the resentment you now have against me.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Hey girl
It seems you pulled my heart
Straight from my chest
Sent it back in a box
With a stamp that said rejected
Oh oh here we go
Always leave me feeling
So low, oh no, here we go
I'm hanging from the ceiling
Held up by these demons
Oh lord this just ain't right
Wasn't ready for this fight
Okay, alright, better hold on tight
As my eyes turn from brown to red
Rage starts to grow
In my face, it start to show

Hell yes, hell no
My mind starts to argue
With itself
And I'm caught in the middle
Of all these thoughts
What should I do
What should I do
What should I do about you
Can't stay, need to go
Keep moving on
Just keep looking forward
Keep moving on

I've got a sinking feeling
Somethings strumming my nerves
Keep hitting kerbs
Keep losing out
And I'm trying to find a way
That I can stop from hurting now
Somebody take this heart
I don't want it anymore
Somebody take this soul
I don't need it anymore
Just let me hit the floor
Don't feel like getting back up at all

Hell yes, hell no
My mind starts to argue
With itself
And I'm caught in the middle
Of all these thoughts
What should I do
What should I do
What should I do about you
Can't stay, need to go
Keep moving on
Just keep looking forward
Keep moving on

Trying to find new ways
To keep me sane
Trying to find new ways
To keep me from breaking up again
And I'm leaving all the broken parts behind
Just trying to keep my head held high
I'm gonna be just fine
Keep walking it'll all be alright
Just give it a little time
Breathe in, breathe out
Let it all go
Just let life take the wheel
And move with the flow

Hell yes, hell no
My mind starts to argue
With itself
And I'm caught in the middle
Of all these thoughts
What should I do
What should I do
What should I do about you
Can't stay, need to go
Keep moving on
Just keep looking forward
Keep moving on

©2017 Written By Benji James

How do I communicate when lyrics
Were what I wrote best
But everything I write is not good enough
For this situation and the pressure of the anticipation
Like will she understand what I mean?
Will this be enough to make her realize and see?
But nothing that's coming out is worthy of this
That why it's being torn up
There's not enough soul, enough heart
And I can't break these boundaries anymore
Maybe I should just give up on it all
But your hurting so bad
And it's affecting me
And when you're mentally blank and don't know what to say
I'm afraid of hurting you even more than you already are
Try to type another text then I delete it again
Because you're just not talking to me
But can't you see that I know your hurting tonight
And all this emotion is killing me inside.

No boys and girls I won't **** with greatness
I just wanted to get a taste of it
I never really wanted to be in this game
But all these People keep tempting me
And I'm still trying to figure out how to shine
I'm still not sure that it is my time
Sure I gotta few hits locked away
But they aren’t any good locked in a safe
I'm still trying to discover my image
Ladies and gentlemen this is just business
And yeah I tear myself apart for my art
Everyone might think that I'm crazy
For letting this shot break me
But it's what's put in that's special
That's why everyone's relating to this
Yeah I'm not trying to prove a point
I'm not hiding things deep down inside
Regrets are another part of life
And that's why I'm letting them out to fly

©2018 Written By Benji James

Razor blade cuts
Aren't enough 
Deep gashes 
Ashes to ashes 
Pour salt in my wounds 
I'd only burn for you
People say that its crazy
I think it is maybe 
But I'd give anything 
For her to be my lady

©2017 Written By Benji James

I need another taste of your kiss
From your soft red coloured lips
I need another touch
Of your silky smooth skin
I feel your so tight 

Rocking my heart right

Yeah you’re making me feel like

Your body is talking to me

Yeah your rubbing me the right way

Are you down to play?

Cuz I wanna do ***** things 

with you babe.

Oh Lauren, you turn me on (girl)
You know that you do
Lauren, you got it going on (girl)
I can see that you do

Oh Lauren, I see what you got
Yeah you know what I want
Every inch of you
You know that I do
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you

It seems to me
That she seems to be
Teasing me sexually
Yeah she's explicit
In the things that she'll exhibit
It's exquisite,
her cheeky smile
her bright blue eyes
Seem to get to me every single time

Oh Lauren, you turn me on (girl)
You know that you do
Lauren, you got it going on (girl)
I can see that you do

Oh Lauren, I see what you got
Yeah you know what I want
Every inch of you
You know that I do
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you

Yeah I'm impressed
by her sexiness
But I'm working out
How to get her out of that dress
then into the bed
She knows I want her ***
Gonna get her wet
Gonna make her sweat
Till we're both out of breath
Fall asleep in the bed
With her head on my chest.

Oh Lauren, you turn me on (girl)
You know that you do
Lauren, you got it going on (girl)
I can see that you do

Oh Lauren, I see what you got
Yeah you know what I want
Every inch of you
You know that I do
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you
(You want it, I got it)
I want to give it to you

©2018 Written By Benji James

You wouldn't know,
what it feels like,
Tearing apart your heart,
You haven't seen the darkness
my future hides.
You haven't seen,
passed all the lies,
I have a much darker side.

You look into my eyes,

trying to figure out what pain, 

lays tormenting me inside
.
You're still blind,

to the things, I have done.

They don't see the tears,

behind the laughter
,
the hurt I feel it's like no other,

It can't be fixed, by another.

All the secrets of my past,

just another memory 
in the shattered glass.

They don't see the reflection, 

That I've seen, 
I despise every part of me. 

It's hard to see
, maybe hard to believe
.
Right now I just want to feel numb,

Don't want to taste any more blood.

No more hurt, I've had enough.

Don't give me love. 

Just lay me down to rest in peace,

that is all I need,

I've seen all I need to see,

I've been all I need to be,

I'm ready now take me, please.

Let me lay down to rest at ease.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Do you ever wonder
Or get lost in deep thought
What everyone would think
And feel when you're gone
Do you run through scenarios
Inside of your head
What will be the last thing you do
What will be the last thing that you said
I find myself at a crossroads
What legacy can I leave behind

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

Tell me do you ever try to come to grips
With the mistakes that you made
The hurt that you gave
Can you forgive, what if they forgave
Could you forgive yourself
For the pain that you made
And sometimes I lack confidence
Sometimes the self-doubt wins out
Sometimes I'm lost in train of thought
and I can't seem to find my way out

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

I wonder what the effect is I will leave
I wonder will they ever see past the emotions that they read
I wonder what will you see
The day this earth is taken from beneath my feet
What kind of legacy is it I will leave
I hope it's something with meaning
I hope the hurt I left found healing
I hope the hearts that broke
Got completed because of the emptiness I left
I hope that everyone I came across finds happiness
I hope the message I leave have meaning

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Skimming stones across the water

All these memories flash before my eyes

Things were good back then.
Now you get under my skin.
Once upon a time you were my everything
all of this has changed 

You and I 
we went our separate ways
now all that I can do

is reminisce about better days
you’re lingering here in dreams
still envision you, standing in front of me
Maybe this will all fade with time
but right now babe,
you’re still here in my mind

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises,
 I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

Hey girl, once there was a time

All I wanted was you to be mine,

All of the jealousy in me
Lead me to places, I never thought I would see
It made me become, everything I said I’d never be
I am looking for all the signals 
that lead us to this,

How was this something we couldn’t fix

Wasn’t me who chose it, to be this way.
How could you go lead me astray
Seems you ****** the light right out of me
and all these emotions, I can’t control
all of this hurt, Don’t wanna feel anymore
Make me numb, I don’t want to feel anymore.

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises, 
I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

Standing on this ledge

looking over a vast ocean

I could jump at any moment
So I can drown in this emotional ocean

Let the salt sting all these wounds 
that you left upon me
all these scars reveal, the pain you left me in
Can you see it, see this is what you did
Thought we were the perfect two
only to be heartbroken by you
How could an angel, cause this kind of hurt
How could someone I trusted so much
tear me completely apart, shattered and broken

Words that never should have been spoken
Were revealed in conversation

I need to escape this vindication
baby, I’m lost in this confrontation
need my own constellation
just to escape this situation

Here I am counting all the ways

we let each other down,

how did you just stand there,
you just let me drown,
in all of this pain.
Just sitting in this park, after dark

gazing at all these stars
how could we drift this far apart?
like a river rises, 
I’m flooded with emotions
For you, I was totally devoted
how could you give up on me
When I needed you most
All is lost, my heart is crushed
I lost you in this love

©2017 Written By Benji James

Ooh maybe I hate this life
A little more than I should
Maybe one day I'll stop,
reaching for unrealistic dreams
And make something good
Maybe I'm starting to believe
That what you will is what you could
You can reach for stars
Dream for fast cars,
Hope that you can
create a large buzz

I'm levitating in subconscious dreams
Nothing is ever really what it seems
There's a deeper meaning underneath
If you take the time to see
You'll see there is more to me
Then my silly little acts
And my mildly tasteless jokes
Sometimes there's a thought
That I can provoke

I'm anchored far from shore
Beneath ocean tides
I lay dormant in the water
I feel a breath on the rise
I need a little space
In an overcrowded room
Sick of feeling lost and confused
Trying to remember faces
That I've never seen
Who are you?
Can you see the truth?

I'm levitating in subconscious dreams
Nothing is ever really what it seems
There's a deeper meaning underneath
If you take the time to see
You'll see there is more to me
Then my silly little acts
And my mildly tasteless jokes
Sometimes there's a thought
That I can provoke

Is there something you can't feel?
Are you still deciding what is real?
Are you lost in a song
That you don't understand?
Sometimes it feels like I am
I'm still chugging along
Because I think I can
Make fantasy my reality
In my head, I'm a dreamt up mess
Cursed not blessed
I can't give in for this

I'm levitating in subconscious dreams
Nothing is ever really what it seems
There's a deeper meaning underneath
If you take the time to see
You'll see there is more to me
Then my silly little acts
And my mildly tasteless jokes
Sometimes there's a thought
That I can provoke

©2017 Written By Benji James

Look at this wreckage you left
Yeah I'm still cleaning up
All the shattered pieces of my heart
Yeah gazing at stars
Wondering how you are
Still, can't see why you left me
Drowning emotionally
But it's alright
I'm gonna be okay
Just can't help but contemplate
Why you went and walked away
Without me

Still dumbfounded
That you left me in silence
Still dumbfounded
That you couldn't say one word
And I tried to reconnect
Tried to get your side
Why you didn't want
me in your life

Girl how could you
Gov hurt me like that
Girl how could you
Just turn your back
I was there for you
When you were in need
Girl why couldn't you
Have been there for me
Girl how could you
Go hurt me like that

There's an empty spotlight
That's where you once stood
Had all my attention
Listened to every word you were expressing
And in my eyes
You were all I could see
Maybe that's why I was so blind
Yeah mislead by you this whole time
Ended up stranded in the woods
With no light
But it's alright. It's okay
I can light my own fire anyway

Still dumbfounded
That you left me in silence
Still dumbfounded
That you couldn't say one word
And I tried to reconnect
Tried to get your side
Why you didn't want
Me in your life

Girl how could you
Go hurt me like that
Girl how could you
Just turn your back
I was there for you
When you were in need
Girl why couldn't you
Have been there for me
Girl how could you
Go hurt me like that

Ever been abandoned
When you were in need
Yeah that's the way she left me
Girl I see you like to live dangerously
I'm still looking for something
To fill this hole that you left
Looking for something
that can clean up this mess
Yeah this is what you left
Great legacy in my eyes
Betrayed by all your lies
I know your face
Yeah your eyes
Your lips
They're just images I won't forget
You just might be my greatest regret

Still dumbfounded
That you left me in silence
Still dumbfounded
That you couldn't say one word
And I tried to reconnect
Tried to get your side
Why you didn't want
Me in your life

Girl how could you
Go hurt me like that
Girl how could you
Just turn your back
I was there for you
When you were in need
Girl why couldn't you
Have been there for me
Girl how could you
Go hurt me like that

What's this sinking feeling
Why can't I escape
All these memories on replay
Been thinking about this for days
Hope that doesn't become weeks
Turning into months
Not sure that's something
I want on my mind for that long
Come on pull yourself together
stay strong
Yeah just realise
she was never
gonna be the one

Still dumbfounded
That you left me in silence
Still dumbfounded
That you couldn't say one word
And I tried to reconnect
Tried to get your side
Why you didn't want
Me in your life

Girl how could you
Go hurt me like that
Girl how could you
Just turn your back
I was there for you
When you were in need
Girl why couldn't you
Have been there for me
Girl how could you
Go hurt me like that

©2017 Written By Benji James