And so i sit here in the darkness
Feeling my heart beat slow and hard
Wondering why salt stings
And finding comfort in the feeling
Of cooling salt tracks on my skin
Trying to figure out how much time passes
Between the stale tears and the fresh ones
Without looking at the clock

Greatful for the reprieve from actual thought
Hating myself for needing release
Weak in spirit and strong in heart
Or vice versa
The fan dries the water
That leaves the salt
To dry in lines on my face

Silently i contemplate life
The intricate complexities
The subtle nuances in a smile or a glance
The way emotion runs too close to the surface
How the heart is both fragile and resilient
And how because we love we cry

There she is
My greatest fantasy realized
Wild hair in mermaid curls
Waiting to be woven through wanting fingers..once again
The sheet delicately balanced on the swell of her *******
My tongue still tasting Her
As I stand there and watch as she watches me soak her in
I touch my lip lost in the sight of Her
In the truth of Her
In the need of Her
Golden skin on a bed of white
A Goddess, My Goddess in all things
Standing bare
My desire leads me straight to Her
The heat of Her hits me
I breathe Her in, absorbing the warmth
Grazing her skin
My hands are insatiable
Soaking in love through her very flesh
Parched, unquenchable
Drawn to discover every inch of Her
I acquiesce
My heart is hers
My soul she commands
My body's sole purpose is to bring
Her pleasure
To please Her is my joy
I see the garden
And follow the scent of  honeysuckle
As I taste the nectar of the Gods
A breath catches in her throat
As sounds escape from the depths of her passion
My music is the rythm of her moans
As I dance for her on velvet petals
In a performance made to ripen the fruit
And produce the sweetest wine
One drop incites a fever
A compulsion
An empassioned blur in the middle of Heaven
She is the essence of my addiction
Both satisfied and hungry
The craving overcomes
She pulls me to her
Devouring me in a kiss
Nails bite skin and fuel the flame
That burns solely for Her
So I plunge my love to Her depths
And pour myself into Her
As Her deluge seeks refuge
Coating every surface
Basking in the cool air
A reminder of my greatest fantasy realized
I breathe her in as she sleeps
Sated at last
Safe in my arms
I am ever at her feet
Blessed for the opportunity
To worship at her alter

I pull out your picture
Smooth skin and hazel eyes
Even in photographs they hypnotize
Calling my name in whispers
Pounding at my *****
Electric shocks to the groin
Waking the senses
Feeling revived
Revitalized, alive
There, ever unchanged
Your gaze upon mine
Motionless, emotionless
Frozen, in time
When you realized I was she
Perfection
Unwavering
An alternate reality
Returning affection
A two way street of romantic love
Unseen. Unnoticed. Unrealized
Yet real just the same
Innocent, unthinking
With no one to blame
Knowing you want me
That you always did
Nothing but glimpses
Of an awkward kid
Turned man
Turned desire
Lascivious by design
Liquifying resistance
Wasting no time
A bit of shy
A hint of coy
Vanish all remnants
Of that innocent boy
By the light of the screen
I lay here
Alone
Feeling the heat of you
Making me moan
Desire unabated
I finish unsated
Abusing your picture
In ways you condone

Can I live in your embrace
Safe within your loving arms

Can I live in your embrace
Beguiled by your charms

Can I live in your embrace
Left to smolder unafraid

Can I live in your embrace
Where true passion never fades

Can I live in your embrace
To find the joy in things unkind

Can I live in your embrace
And you can live in mine

It was the child within the woman
Who could not let the heart believe
That a mere man could be so trusted
Without reason or reprieve

So they tussled through emotion
To see his thoughtfulness unveiled
But left invisible, unnoticed
It was the child who had prevailed

So the woman's barren heart
Bled in oceans on the floor
As once again she was transparent
Behind the tears which she endured

And so this man who claimed to love her
Called her Goddess, his living dream
Proved indubidably that in the heart
However pure, lives perfidy

Okay Brdies
Flap your wings and repeat after me:

I pledge to never leave a Brd behind:

♥ if you need a shoulder
♥ if you need an ear
♥ if you need to vent
♥ in times of fear
♥ if you need understanding
♥ if you need a friend
♥ if you think you need advice +
♥ if you're on the mend
♥ if there's any trouble
♥ if you're in a bind
♥ if you've gone all cuckoo and lost your mind
♥ if your soul needs healing
♥ if you're a moody mess ++
♥ if you need SHOPPING to heal your stress
♥ if you feel alone
♥ if you're out of sorts
♥ if you need a laugh we're all good sports
♥ if you have writer's block
♥ if you need distracting
♥ if you need a break we'll escape through crafting+++

Now we Brds are bound in honor
With a heart of a poet to guide our flights
Never again in isolation
The Flock is here with great delight :)

I awoke in a dream
Surrounded by a bilious familiarity
Angry shades of the drying blood of hope
Caked over venomous fangs of discontent
Stagnant shadows of effluvium
Emanate from the molten flesh
Of this creature I seem to know

But how, how do i know this putrid soul
This being, born of irascible acrimony
Seething breaths sear my senses
As I feel the pounding heart
Scream within it's chest
Aflame with the atrocities it has incited

Yet, in it's gentle eyes there is no malice
There is only the reflection of an angel
Gossamer vestments blow in the stillness
So effulgent in the darkness
Again, familiar and uncomfortable
It's eyes bore into mine that reflection of heaven

I could not see myself in those eyes
That gaze seemed to hypnotize in its polarity
As I floated unseen, I looked at this being
Seething miasmata while reflecting a seraph
Acidic tears of truth fell from within my poisoned soul
As the creature and the reflection merged in the bluest flame

And transformed my spirit into flesh
I am both the reflection and the being
Living the anguish of the truth of what I am
Fighting every  moment to be less than and more than
Pretending that I do not embody the dichotomy of bile and bliss
Seraph and succubus
The truth and the lie

it is there
in the eyes of the soul
in the emotion conveyed
in the words unspoken
in the shared breath of a warm kiss

it is there
in the chill of absence
in the dawn of day
in the shadow of darkness
in the heart that bleeds

it is there
in every moment
in every thought
in every subtle nuance
in the fabric of time itself

a loving heart knows no distance
and distance cannot quell desire
sparks that flare for every instance
neither time nor space can put out that fire

not for the tepid or the sorry
just seeking comfort wanting fun
because every letter builds a story
that binds two hearts and souls as one

You are my truth
The only truth I've ever known,
And I cannot live without you
You are my very soul
You can never let me down
You are amazing
I've always believed in you...
My entire existence, all through time, I've believed;
And I will until the end of time and then beyond
To me, there is only you
Nothing else exists
And you are mine as I am yours
Always and Forever

I see those words of trite frivolity
Words of surface anger and childish spite
Words written to hurt others instead of relieve their own pain
Defended by your words of seeming righteousness
I see your words that seem to propagate
The overinflated egos of the tedious, tiring, and mundane
Yet attack just the same the differences that make life interesting
I see the truth in your hypocrisy
I see the lies in your delusions of grandeur
I see popularity has been mistaken for true friendship
You lead your flock of insipid sheep to decimate the poetic landscape
Without acknowledging the beauty in the jagged rocks
Words hurt just as much to read as to hear
Even when they are not meant for my ears
I feel those words that have been seen as heroic
I feel their truth in an honor perceived by the selfish and vapid
There are no apologies for defending those who have already defended themselves
It breeds a mob mentality that works against what you claim to stand for
Freedom in all things
Free speech, free love, free artistic license
Yet censoring the unwanted by force feeding your opinion as fact
Spewing repeated derision, contempt, and disdain
That is not peace in poetry
That is not an honorable act
And it is not an oversight, sadly
I prefer peace and tranquility
To an eye for an eye
Vengeance has no place here

I want you*

Alas, the obstacles outweigh the need

        
                                              *Sorry

We have this thing
It's always been there
Hiding beneath the words
We are both afraid to say
Behind the feelings
We try to keep at bay

We have this thing
It cannot be denied
The embers never cease
Living far beneath the skin
Behind the innocence
Deep within

We have this thing
Connected within and without
Beyond our understanding
Never letting go
Facing what we want
Believing what we know

We have this thing
It's tied to you and me
In ways of blissful hunger
Tethered at the heart
The mind and the soul
Unable to want to part

We have this thing
Which makes us more than friends
Which binds us stronger than lovers
That makes life technicolor
And makes things better
Just being with each other

Lost in the music of childhood Saturday afternoons
Never before realizing
The broken soul she purged through impassioned verse and powerful refrains
This same music offering insight and healing
Songs wailed from the depths of my being
Tears burn my tired eyes
As I cry, never having realized i lived her pain
I am living it now, through my own wounds
Wounds i borrowed from her broken heart

I live in a heart that is not broken
But is always breaking

I wrapped your cracks in my bleeding heart...


you're welcome

I will be your shoulder and share your pain, you will never be alone

Because there is no reason
Because things change
Because i knew better
Because i want so much to believe
Because I care too much
Because I'm scared
Because trusting hurts
Because it's easier to deny
Because it was undeniable
Because romance seduces the heart
Because you are wanted
Because avoidance equals pain
Because I am empty
Because I am left to wonder
Because things changed
Because I am still afraid
Because there were promises
Because  I believed
Because they were broken
Because I see you
Because I know who you are
Because you are scared
Because I am real
Because I feel...everything
Because lies of omission are still lies
Because you disappeared
Because I want too much
Because I gave my heart upon request
Because you never thought I would
Because I am too honest
Because pain beats joy into submission
Because I know the truth
Because I knew better
Because you are loved
Because I am still afraid

The words fall out of my heart and will ever remain unspoken...
Because I am still afraid

The gentle way you gaze upon me
Your heart upon your tears
The drop in your voice
As your breath carries my name in the moonlight
The stars are aligned leading us home
Into one another
Searching beyond imagination
Through space and time
Never understanding the emptiness
Though seeming to be full
The pain of void
Filled at the sight of my soul in you
For you are my missing piece
And I am your sun

I can feel you, restless, in my dreams, or mind, or heart.   tortured by thoughts of nothing in blackness in the noise of a crowded room.  There is no peace tonight, in my very being I feel it,  There are no meds to remove the screams, no drugs to escape the torture.  The numbness of self medication keeps your sanity hanging by the strongest of all threads.  Can't think too much, or ponder on what ifs.  But music looks beautiful dancing in the air, and time is a concept of man that serves no purpose other than to **** joy and draw boxes of conformity in thick black lines.

the color of sound
permeates cracks in the void
tolerable life

Existence without reason,  alone in an ever-present crowd, there are no rainbows in nighttime storms, I can feel your quick breaths as you are dragged into sleep unwillingly, though in desperate need. the trepidation runs deep, silenced by normality, fear of separation of mind tethered to others by soul alone.  Pretense in surface honesty, which is perceived as truth.  But the core of it, the fear of it, the whole of it cannot be hidden, for I feel you to the depths of who you are afraid to be.  There is no loss of sanity in being who you are,  Those colors sound beautiful as they dance in the smokey air, and the math is art incarnate, science is the symphony around which all things are born and oh the music.  Yes the music that dances through it all is the very air in all it's swirling hues of blissful perfection

two halves of self dance
tangos of darkness and light
beauty in all things

                    *in wait of nightmares
                    there need not be loneliness
                    joy in one who knows

In shadows they live
On the other side of sunshine
In the corner of the eye
Just this side of vision
Insanity on the cusp of reality
Truth in duality of time

In echoes they speak
Mumbles behind everything
Calling out a name
Underneath the traffic noise
Whispering in words a thought can hear
Irradicating silence

In the very air they hang
A change in scent in the air
The stink of someone else's memory
A grating plea for a void of exsistnce
To the keeper of dreams and nightmares
As the coin flips, before the call

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

Pushing the limits of freedom
Breaking all that binds an individual to society
Should becomes yes
Shouldn't becomes must
Shackles disintegrate
Everything becomes nothing
Nothing becomes everything
Unwritten rules no longer apply
Opinion is irrelevant

A heart so callused as not to feel
Scars too deep for wounds to heal
A soul of kindred spirit seeks
The one, the same, however meek
And so a rip in flesh began
And blood, down tattered souls, it ran
For one to feast on demons grown
Gnawing, both through flesh and bone
Crashing casings over pain
The scars are what the feast remains

With all the innocence of old friends, wrapped in silent hoping, knowing but afraid to believe.  The heart beats a bit faster as the words become free. No longer chained in what came before. Transformed by insight, a vision sent to each of us alone.  And in those words were hidden truths that underlay what came before.  A true affection melts in heat into a fire that burns free.  

With a breath was lit
What had always smoldered there
Ablaze on a wire

Tentative in this new-found freedom. We touch delicately, lingering on the words that electrify the flesh and liquify defenses.  Steam wafting in the air as emotion meets desire.  Intoxicated by the ethereal beauty of it all. Left reeling, hearts traded, souls tangled and the lascivious nature of what was once hidden ravages the senses.

You said in dreams I am your perfection
I am more than you hoped you'd find
You never dreamed I'd return you affection
I never dreamed you wanted mine

You ask me how I can love you
You who is broken, and limping, and lame
I stop you before the tear can fall
Taking them from your eyes
And crying them out my own
I tell you the truth of absolute love
I tell you I wear no blinders
I see you as you are
I see your imperfections but we are all flawed
Those minute cracks in your soul
Trickle out pain in swirling hues of tender that highlight your heart
A heart you profess is black and stone
But it beats strong within my chest
Where I will nuture it and feed it with my own
I see all the nicks and bruises and breaks
They are not reasons to walk away
They are the very thing that makes you worthy
Your damage healed in stregnth
You are not broken
You are beautiful in all things
A tender heart that bleeds for others
That hates you for not being better...for me
Don't you know?  Can't you see?
There is no better, you are as good as it gets
It is I who is unworthy
And in all your fear of being alone, you overlook the truth of who  you are
of who I am when I am with you
You see beauty in every corner of derelict
You fill my cracks with your joy
To the point where you feel you run out, not even knowing you gave it away
You see in me what I am unable to see in myself
And because it is you who sees it I believe you
I see your cracks and spackle them with love
I see the scars and am thankful you survived the journey
And tomorrow, or next week, next month, or next year
When you have grown strong in my love
When the time comes that you realize I am naught but pieces duct taped together
I will still love you
When you  see the truth of what I have always known
I will still love you
When you move on to brighter days and greener pastures
I will still love you
When you see that you are worthy of more than I am able to give you
I will still love you, as I do now
For I never learned how to unlove someone
And you have always been worthy