I sit and stare at a photograph
Or two or three
Or every picture that he saw fit to gift to me
And my gaze lingers in those hazel eyes
Losing myself in half-awake dreams at 4 a.m.
What if, and then
So let's say we are fated
Pulled and connected like the strongest of magnets
Mind to mind and heart to heart
Knowing that there is a freedom in that kind of unity
Believing, without choice, that we own the best pieces of each other
Still, what if isn't what is
What is isn't what could be
What could be is just another
What. if.
So I stare into those hazel eyes at 4:22 a.m.
And I wonder, if for him, I could overlook the cigarettes and stale coffee
Remnants of a history that has been unkind
Leave it to me to love a man
Who smells like the first one to **** me
But here at 4:30 a.m. I can believe
I can believe he smells like the earth after a winter rain
And I can believe, that to him, I smell like heaven
Lost in that sweetness
Captured on a phone
A thousand miles away
I can feel his skin on mine
His breath in my ear
Saying nothing and everything all at once
Here in the dark at 4:38 a.m., I can know beyond doubt
That he is where my heart is
With no rhyme or reason
I know, that should I ask
He would give me all of him
And I know this
As I sit here
Staring at a picture
Or two, or three
Or every picture that he saw fit to gift to me
As I stare into those hazel eyes
Losing myself in half-awake dreams
at 4:43 a.m.

Awakened by a zipper
As you packed that old black bag
I sit and stare in silence
You close your eyes in shame
As you turn to walk away
And said, "I never meant to hurt you"

But you said you'd never leave me
Yet, you're walking out the door
You said you'll always love me
But you don't need me anymore
So when you see my broken heart
Don't pay me any mind
It's only what your lies left behind

I asked what I could do
To make you wanna stay
You stop and slowly shake your head
You said it's nothing that I've done
You almost put your arms around me
As you walk on out the door
"I never meant to lie to you"

But you said you'd never leave me
Yet, you're walking out the door
You said you'll always love me
But you don't need me anymore
So when you see my broken heart
Don't pay me any mind
It's only what your lies left behind

If it was all untrue
That means that I was never beautiful
My eyes don't hold the stars
My heart is full of icicles
And my lips are poison wine
That's what your lies left behind

But you said you'd never leave me
Yet, you're walking out the door
You said you'll always love me
But you don't need me anymore
So when you see my broken heart
Don't pay me any mind
It's only what your lies left behind

Look for my electronic soul
In all the places where you found my electronic heart
By the ethereal light of the interwebs,
Through an electronic connection
Dancing to electric heartbeats
Pulled to your electric guitar
Singing words that color me lovely

When the heart is in full swoon
Time is a blur and reality is just that moment
That very moment when eyes overflow with a happy heart
When the very scent of each other is a drug
And addiction runs both ways
Swept up in this timeless euphoria
Careless words fall off the tongue
"I love you", is the new high

The air, like lead in lungs
Passing time fixing souls in place
In wait of what will be
As tomorrow inches closer
And today is but a dream
Knowing that because it is wanted
It must be left behind
As life melts into normalcy
And melancholy infuses gray into rainbows
Fantasy turns reality, turns memory
Held close in a heart-shaped box
Only to be opened fleetingly
On the loneliest of future days

Love has
           No worries
                 No questions
                        No doubt
                               No lies

Born under the guise
Of endless possibilities
Raised to believe the old adage
2b or not 2b
Wherein the outcome of life
Is limited only by the edge of infinity

Truth is, there is only binary code
Open or closed
Black or white
Do or do not
One or zero

To be or not to be

Oh my young one, my baby, My darling, darling boy
I am with you always through tears of pain and joy
Confusion and fear can force the sights unseen
As choked down emotion can make you feel unclean

I know not how to judge you, for all I feel is joy
And i will always love you
My darling, darling boy

Time      runs        stagnant        in        wait*


*Yet/races/in/your/embrace

here's to all the beautiful people
with cracked facades and glorious souls
to the ones transparent and forgotten
who's mind's hear in rainbows and see in music
here's to the true odists and bards
who share their laughter and shine through pain
to all the invisibles within which the only true beauty resides
may you always share your truth
may we never become blinded to your grace

You tell your kid to give the dog food and water. He mishears you and asks what moonwater is, and you fashion his mistake into a poem. ;)

by the light of the moon he came upon her
her skin glistening in the moonlight
her dark eyes reflecting the stars
so beautiful was she, at the waters edge
watching the moon wave in the ripples
only noticing him when the heat of him grazed her
she saw his gentle eyes in his reflection
felt his heart as his lips brushed her ear
whispering only, "i am yours"
as their reflection became one with the moon

When expectations are in line with
            reality there is no
                              
                                      disappointment

You are two people
Detached through silent self-loathing
Torn between flesh and fantasy
Nightmares tear your eyes from dreams
Tasting the flesh as you awaken
Aroused and *****
Frightened of who
Of what you're turning into
Praying you will not become
That sickening desire
Losing sight of the fact
That a dream is just a dream

Falling in line with the rest
Forgetting that life owes nothing
Knowing better, yet, still being dragged to the dregs of humanity
Weighted by words, chained to emotion
Drowning in doubt, scraping across broken standards
Settling into the remnants of the wasted dreams of a people

I saw the words on a page
And read their joy
Their hope
Their heart

I saw the words on a page
And it ripped my world apart

I saw the words on a page
Penned before my heart was yours

I saw the words on a page
Of how your love for her endures

I saw the words on a page
Kept with all your special things

I saw the words on a page
Read dreams of wedding rings

I saw the words on a page
Of a dream you never spoke

I saw the words on a page
They made my own begin to choke

I saw the words on a page
Of a time when love was true

I saw the words on a page
And read what she means to you

I saw the words on a page
You claim love never dies

I saw the words on a page
Now I see it in your eyes

I saw the words on a page
You know my hearts allure

I saw the words on a page
I know that she holds yours

I saw the words on a page
I see what you can't deny

I saw the words on a page
Your love for me belied

I saw the words on a page
And read their joy
Their hope
Their heart

I saw the words on a page
And it ripped my world apart

I saw the words

It turned cold quickly
Almost skipping Autumn
Reluctant to wear a jacket
Or a hat, or gloves
Too distant for my arms
To keep him warm against my chest
He said he never wore a scarf
But if he did, he would go Dr. Who style
I had to laugh as i looked up the reference
Fifteen feet of mismatched stripes
Maybe not the stripes, he said
I happened upon a huge skein of yarn
It felt like a warm blanket in the oddest,
Most interesting colors
Manly, neutral, and perfect for Fall
So i crocheted a scarf and pictured him warm
The pattern in those colors was a mess
I chuckled at why they would make such an ugly pattern
I crocheted every stitch with love
Through arthritic hands that felt no pain
I crocheted a scarf, stopping only when it dragged the floor when i put it on
Two feet short, but ridiculously long
I bordered it in shades of green to match
Not realizing it was variegated into Brown's and maroons along the way
But it matched the odd mix of colors
And finally made it almost pretty to me
I covered myself in perfume
And put it around my neck
As I turned I caught a glimpse in the mirror
It wasn't a horrible amalgamation of hideous colors
It was camouflage, with a matching border
I laughed so hard, and felt so bad
My hillbilly in camouflage
Wearing a scarf way too long
Maybe he would hate it
Maybe he won't wear it
I knew better
So, I packed up his bag of gifts
And sent it to the frozen mountains
He never wore a scarf
He opened it and put it on
It smells like You, he said in blssful remembrances
It's definitely camouflage, he laughed
It's perfect baby, I'll wear it whenever it's cold
And in the picture he sent
I saw its beauty
It wasn't in the patterns of crisscrossing colors
It wasn't in the accidental way
The border perfectly complimented the body
It wasn't in the fact that he would be able
To wrap himself up in me to stay warm
It was in that picture
It was the joy that filled his smile
It was in his eyes that danced in love
It was in the fact that he believes
Because i made it, it's perfect
Yes, i accidentally crocheted a thirteen foot camouflage scarf
And he loves that I can keep him warm.

Sometimes I get the briefest glimpse
A glimpse of a boy
Of a child
Of a man
I see a smile
Meant for me but accidental
I hear a laugh
Slip softly between warm lips
And I sigh
I sigh a sigh of contentment
For in the brevity of your laughter
I find peace
And in that instant
Your demons are swallowed by my love
They burn in their own breath
They wither in the warmth of my embrace
Yes, the child you left behind
Still wants to play
When you forget to be grown
When you let the world slip away
Finding that the past no longer exists
The future is still beyond reach
And in this moment
This perfect little moment
With me, you believe you can be happy
And you sigh....

Changing slowly, painfully
Shedding skin
Raw and new
Naked and bleeding
So long to heal
Longer to toughen
Layers turned scars
Hide a silenced heart

years of a life
encased in concrete
and double-paned bulletproof glass
climate controlled
to a nice 72 degrees
nothing to fear
no place to fall
nowhere to go
home sweet Hell

I hate
          when dreams
                    feel like memories
                              you never had

heart confused with head
body with soul
lead by carnal need, wanton abandon
and primal desire
to be pulled so strongly cannot be denied
'tis not the excitement of the unknown or forbidden
'tis a ravenous feast that awaits, neigh pulls
against all that is believed
there is no rhyme or reason
logic fails
still, bodies giving in at the very thought
hearts abandoned left behind
there is nothing but the flames
prepared to consume all in its path

Time
            elapses
                            regardles­s

Together..........or........... *apart


*Tormented in wending milliseconds

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

Sitting in the dark
The Universe descends into oblivion
The only reality is us
The only truth is this very moment
In all its honesty
Filled with both longing and love
No thought but to be blanketed in each others electricity
Perhaps a hint of perfection
Or what feels enchanted
If things were different
If the Universe still existed
If reality was this,
Two hearts in desperate need
Finding what they weren't even looking for
If an honest heart meant an honest life
If this moment was everything
Then...

                    happines does exist

I read your words according to my mood,
Time of day, and perception of caring
And yet, you alter those easily
I love the hint of a smile
Though I cannot see what isn't there
Your voice in my mind as you whisper my name
Lures me to the brink with a sigh
Longing to be touched by delicate hands
Kissed with blatant intention
You, my love, my lust, my naughtiest desire
You are my darkest temptation

Razor-sharp fingernails scrape layers of flesh from eyelids
Splaying them eternally open
Can't unsee what's been seen
Can't unhear the sounds
Or unsmell the odor that rots in nostrils, infecting every rose
There's no stopping when they all stink the same
Can't undo, can't undo
Safety in bile where nightmares are birthed in reality,
In places that fester like the remnants of the lids that blinded
Bleach doesn't clean untruths
Fire doesn't  burn hot enough to mask pain
Blisters seem like hope
Hope to heal
Hope to resemble something familiar
Peeling skin back with teeth
Wishing for them to bleed
When scalding tubfulls try to cleanse
the grime that sludges through a broken mind
Attached to a heart mindlessly lashed in the shame of

Love

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

With all the exhuberance of a child on Christmas
The smallest gift was received
Ten words on a page
Joy beyond measure deluged a happy heart
Pieces of a soul....more precious than gold

And in return
With all the exhuberance of a child on Christmas
The smallest gift was given
More excited at the giving
At the anticipation of joy

Waived off upon receipt
Forgotten on a page
Unread pieces of love
Bore holes in a happy heart
Chagrin unassuaged by reluctant glances spurred by pain

Longing for all the exhuberance of a child on Christmas

The only time i like you sleeping is when you're by my side
Arms draped over me and breath steady and low
Keeping time with my own
Peaceful slumber in synchronized exhales and unified heartbeats.

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd