20h PrttyBrd
Jude Allen

I re-read her texts, over and over-
like classics penned by the greatest
authors they keep me engrossed;
Each line seemingly fresh and new with every pass of my eye...

I gaze at her pictures, over and over-
studies of DaVinci and Michaelangelo
could never hold my imagination so;
Each curve graceful, supple- traced with every pass of my finger...

I listen intently to her, over and over-
a siren's song, her voice an orchestral
score Mozart only dreamed of creating;
Each note resonating, full and free like
a symphony to my music starved ear...

I dream of her, over and over-
she fills my nights with burning desire,
ruling my thoughts, her eyes and lips
beckon me closer to warm embrace;
She is art in purest form, and I love her.

Inspired by her...
PrttyBrd 20h

4X6 inches
of perfection on a screen
a hint of tortured possibilities
carried in the pocket
of a life built
through blinders and
the most beautiful denial

4X6 inches
of hope undeniable
the foundation of dreams
dragging rough
through cascading walls
of a substandard fairytale
that twisted joy unhappy

4X6 inches
of a smile through a hurricane
bleeding pain through evaporating tears
a reality forged through time uncountable
landing in the rays truth created
when love proved
the existence of fate

4X6 inches
of peace over pain
a wand in magical medicinals
crashing through solitary anguish
with eyes piercing armor
weaved in passive aggression
leading the lost home

PrttyBrd May 7

Falling into you I found myself
For with you I was never lost
Blinded by an unkind past
The present, tinged with shame
Became my only truth
Then... I saw you

You gazed upon me
Open and trusting
And I could no longer hide from myself
Your eyes peel me naked
And I stand bare before you
awaiting a judgment that will never come

You see what I thought I lost
What felt like it died long ago
You see who I used to be
Who I always have been
And because it's you
I believe it's true

Your smile is my hope
Your heart carries my heartbeat
Your eyes, so full of love
Prove that I am all I ever wished to be
All I was supposed to be
Before life beat the joy out of me

You found me and I knew
I knew you were mine
I knew you before I met you
I dreamed you alive so long ago,
And here in my heart, I fell in love
In your love, in loving you...

I can learn to love me

PrttyBrd May 7

A universe in smokey hues of hypnotic perfection
Each change in depth, each glance
a reinvention of self
of my perception of your self
See me naked
or see my skin as it protects my heart

Razor-wire glistens gray
as the blades of a gaze skin me alive
Shattered memories built a person
held together by the very skin
you are burning through
with the heat of the bare truth

I see your desire and it hurts
It hurts as my broken shards fall to the floor
It hurts as your laser vision cauterizes each piece back in place
burned together to heal in the strength of love
The love that is reflected in
smokey hues of hypnotic perfection

PrttyBrd May 7

My fortress of solitude
solidifies regret
counterbalancing justification
with waning self worth

It could be worse
and I am imperfect
so I stay in this place invisible
seen only in degrees unworthy

But here alone
I can pretend I am strong
the truth hidden
by what I cannot show

Words are my friends
where my thoughts
are my enemies
Still, I remain

Not bad enough to leave
Just horrible enough to keep me hidden in this isolation
ashamed to show my face
afraid to be free and learn...

it's all true

PrttyBrd May 7

Time means nothing
a world apart
and truth in black lines
is still subjective

Concrete emotions blend into surroundings
and the mix perplexes those
who cannot live in the gray clouds
of a pending storm

But boy does that rain smell good
the peace in the falling change
lulls the heart into a trance
hypnotic rhythms change the beat of a dying heart

Alive or almost so
the dancing droplets look like
jellyfish flowing through life
in a grace one can never hope to achieve

Life provides the weapons to win
and the power to combat all
that comes to harm
but it does not hand us discernment

To choose to fight for or against
to be who we choose or who we believe
to trust love and doubt choices
or trust choices and doubt love

We are the warriors of our destiny
in a land that never teaches us to fight

PrttyBrd Apr 27

a limp body
carried in broken arms
to a funeral pyre
hidden in the woods

tinder, salt-saturated
won't catch
drowning in the perception
of failure

life flows out
and seeps in
healing in unfettered

exhaustion bleeds thought
cracks fuse invisibly strong
still feeling both less
yet more, somehow

pyre lays unlit
as the heart dreams ablaze
in lost memories
of a life not yet lived

one without the other
cannot exhale
breathing in all the nothing
looking for the only thing

not knowing what or where
but the when is now
as wood sits on the ashes
of what came before

in the jolt of drowning
on overflowed tears
it flows out of each
and into the other

cracks fade
accidental truth is never an accident
too tired to continue
it was found where it lay sleeping

patient and blind
sprouts into the best
of unseen possibilities
the day you carried me in silence

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