I hurt myself for loving you
There's a monster inside me I don't know what she'll do
Words are weapons for the weak
Without you I barely sleep
I broke my own heart in trying to mend yours
Every day I am alive is an endless chore
You hate me get in line
I'll never forgive myself until the end of time

May you finally rest with both eyes closed
Your time has come it's true you know
So take your last breath smoke your last smoke
And fall gently into death's darkest cloak

Our tongues are our shovels
As we dig our graves
Kiss by kiss we fall in
De
     ep
         er
Into our mess we have made

I had a dream that allowed me to see the other side
I walked through what I expected to be a bright light
But was in fact a tunnel.
It took what seemed like all night to get to the end
The air was damp and smelt like death
It wasn't a friendly tunnel.
At the end I expected to find those I have loved and lost
Everything was blurry and I couldn't breathe
I made it to the end of the tunnel...
There was you
And you had no eyes and your wrists were slashed
You reached for me but the air took me aback
I awoke from that forsaken dream

My wrists were slashed
And I couldn't see

Replaceable
Just here for your entertainment
When I'm not functioning
Or ******* your ****
I'm the atm machine
Used up
No wonder I can't get in the mood
You want someone new
Exhausted
Detached
You aren't you on or off the meds
Sad girlfriend
Weeping at night
Your back to me
Sleeping tight
I don't want saving I want you
To feel your love again
To cuddle up to
I'm only typing to fight back the tears

I'm not the kind of
                                 sick
                                              that can be fixed

My own mother hurt me with words today
She asked me why I have no friends
I told her
The people I thought were my friends lie to my face
Talk behind my back
And invite everyone except me to hang out.
My mom said
"You've given me the same reasons since you were 3
I'm starting to think it's not everyone else
It's you
You're un-friendable."
It's a made up word that cuts real wounds
She said if I weren't so different and kooky
And didn't make people feel awkward
Then maybe I'd learn to be like them.
Well if being myself means
I can't be shown the same respect as everyone else
Why would I want to have friends anyway

Say it. Dear god say it.
She's falling
Your words will be her net
Save her. Dear god save her
She's calling
Your lips she has met
She's gone. It doesn't matter.
Her demise is your wrists
Never mind her
Get in line dear
She was worth more than this

I want to be free, not responsible for his actions.

Rose was a vine who wanted to love
He watched her from the window
Rose took a thorn
Stabbed the husband til morn
And ran off with the beautiful widow

Volatile
A bitter taste left in my veins by the years of oppression
Afraid to love or trust
Uncomfortable constantly, consistently
Life's flourishing flowers bloom beyond my reach
I'll never get there, too stuck, too scattered
The world is someone else's oyster and I am their pearl prisoner
Afraid to touch or run
Nothing but bad luck to those who fall
I should just stay away
Volatile

There are walls
Walls you can scale
Some you cannot
Walls you can go around
Some you put up
Its these walls that my fiancé has
And some people peek through
But I tear it down brick by brick
And get nothing but bruised.
Alas! I have made it
But it seems I'm mislead
The person behind it
Is well and truly dead.

Today the world ends
And you and I will toss the loss aside
And finally be together in harmony
Two individuals taking on life
One needle
One cigarette
One curse word at a time

Let's go on a joyride
And smoke until our lungs choke
You and I can make magick
Til our bourbon outweighs the coke
Everything will fall into place
No matter what we hide

I kinda think you're awesome and I want you by my side

Have I gone too far?
Does he still love me?
Am I still making sense?
Does he hate me?
Am I being unfair?
Putting too much pressure on him?
Did I say something wrong?
Am I being too clingy?
Should I ignore him?
Or avoid him completely?
Maybe we're not meant to be?
Maybe the timings all wrong?
Will I ever be enough?
Do I deserve his touch?
Does he want me alive?
Am I better off dead?
Will these pills even work?
Or will I just fall asleep?
Will I ever wake up?
Am I dead yet?
Maybe....

A Crook once told me,
"You are not a painting
You are a river
You have curves you bend you flow
You change
You are allowed to
Because you are not permanently one thing
You flow"

They give up too easily.
                                                         ­             Far too soon indeed you're right

Foolish mortals they never want what they have

                                                           ­             Always what someone else has

Wants
                                                    ­                                                    Desires

S­illy infatuations

                                                  ­   The whole bang lot of them are mortally
                                                        ­                      ****** aren't they?

Quite right, there is no consistency

                                                    ­               Why can't they always be in love?

Why can't they always maintain satisfaction?

                                                  ­                                   Why can't they always-

**** it, always is never

                                              **And forever is a lie

He talks like a fool
But oh when he sings
My knees done melted
At my hearts plucked strings
The wolf does howl
The wolf does cry
But when he sings
It brings a tear to my eye

I want to feel your name burning in my head
I want to write your initials all over the page
I want to curl up next to you at night
I want to fall asleep to your voice
And wake up to your eyes
I want to go everywhere with you
I want to tell you everything that amuses me
I want to touch your lips and watch you tremble
I want to dance with you to the soft drone of Twenty One Pilots
And smoke until we don't feel bitter
I want to acknowledge all the good we had
I want to go on forever with you too
I want to share my food and tears with you
I want to see you grow like roses
And be the person you've always wanted to be

Maybe we all feel sorrow stronger than any other feeling
And that is why we all write about it
Because there are so many ways to describe pain
And we struggle to find the words to speak of the joy we can feel
So we simply feel it
And that is why we don't write happy

With all my heart:                                
                          ­          x      x            x       x
                                 x                 x                  x
                                   x          I      Love       x
                                      x          You           x
                                          x        <3       x  
                                               x          x  
                                                  ­   x

I don't sleep unless I'm beside you
I forget to eat unless you're eating too
I get shaky and nervous and empty and sad
And I don't like how I look when you're not looking at me.

It hits me like a tidal wave
Although I don't taste the salt
It rocks me like a song I cannot hear
Although I don't breathe in time
Abstract feelings no sense of control
Tired and twisted
Shivering so hard; my aching spine
I fall to the beat of your heartache
And crumble lower inside

She likes the cold
Its the most open form of honesty she has ever known
She never liked being friends with girls
They are fake
Boys abuse her tragically
Yet she runs to them unconditionally
All she knows is a broken home and a false reality
Actually she doesn't mind for she is a poet
With a strong head and heavy heart
She immerses herself in the unknown and painful
Because she is the soul epitome of what it means to be human
And we can forgive her for that

I know you are reading this
Either in spite or in awe
But breathe these words from my lips
This is not just your war
Poems upon poems
Blood upon wrists
Depression it moans
It puts us in fits
Take your pen my fellow soldier
Press the ink, take a hit
This war is soon over
Writing heals, you are worth more than this

Write it all
***, lies, secrets
Those things eating you up inside
The furious thoughts
Set them on fire
Your darkest kindling
Someone's gonna relate
They've all been there
We all live here
Write it all

Watch them pass the roll of grass
As they fall...  
                         down on their ***
Let them sit and take a hit
Even though it smells like ****
I want to be a different kind of free
Where I can just be me
And dance in modest pants
To a song of romance
"It's not my crowd"
I say out loud
"I belong on the ground"
Far from the **** and tar
Out of the clouds running far
To a place bound in lace
*As pretty as my face

I watched some old videos and went through all our pictures
You were bright and happy and kissed me a lot
You had hope and you danced with me too
I forgot how much fun we used to have
And the kind of people we used to be
I don't regret a single thing except what happened
To you and me

You are my favourite poet
You inspire me
It goes without saying that I love you
And even more so
When you breathe your words into me
And pierce my soul with your ink
Never stop writing your phrases on my heart
Always tell me in abstract
How my chameleon eyes remind you of calm streams
And brighter days served in a history of torment
We are two lost pieces to the puzzle
pushed under the couch
Vidi vici veni
I love it because you said it and I believed you
Because it is one thing
to say one thing is another
But it takes a poet to analyse it to it's full potential
So analyse me
Talk me into your amazing mind
And you can with ease
Because you are my favourite poet