I see you in my dreams, your face ever changing
But your body is still the same
Taste
Feel
Look
Adore
Something I crave and want to try
Maybe only once
A second hit to make it real
But nonetheless
A one hit wonder of a fantasy

I want to be free, not responsible for his actions.

Come in, sit down you've been here before
That girl you hate
She's not me
All the poison ****** dry along with my temptations
A bruised heart
A patient soul
Too honest for her own good, believe me, it's me
Head's in hell but you can be free
I may not be able to set you free but you've given up before you've let go
Forgiveness rests all bitterness

I'm at a point in my life where I am to wake up
This has happened once before
This metamorphosis from depression to desperation
to acceptance and knowing
It hurts
It seems soul destroying
But in all actuality it is soul enlightenment

Blind
But still so receptive
To her negativity
Shut her out
I try
But she understands
Or so she says
Siren
Bloodletting for her love
Even if it isn't real
Help

She told me she's more than she looks
But to figure her out you don't have to hit the books
She'll twist you and say all the right things
Be what you need but in the night what she brings
Is not lust for you not passion or need
It's only her insatiable heart breaking greed
To call her a ***** would be too *****
She's calculated and pretty far too evolved for flirty
She's a carnivorous creature of the night
Hear her words but I pray with experienced might
That this girl won't cross your path at any point in time
For this siren, this mistress was a manipulative love of mine.

It's ***** it's impure I don't want it anymore
It was my life and I loved it
But now I'd rather eat my own
Words by refusing it from the loves of my life
My best friend, my fiancé and my soon to be
Gone girl she's a right off she's all over the place
And as much as it hurts I wish she would sit on my
Lap and kiss me and look in my direction
But the boys get in the way with wanting me to fix their
Desperate need for attention when all I want to do
Is be talked to and held but they just wanna *****.

It's people like you that make me feel sick
You feed people lies just to get your **** licked
You confuse me you use me you leave me for dead
I can't stand it this hate that I feel for the man in my bed.

There are walls
Walls you can scale
Some you cannot
Walls you can go around
Some you put up
Its these walls that my fiancé has
And some people peek through
But I tear it down brick by brick
And get nothing but bruised.
Alas! I have made it
But it seems I'm mislead
The person behind it
Is well and truly dead.

Dropkick they call him
This sweetheart of mine
He's useless, no future
I say give him some time
But time is dwindling for this aching soul
The need for substance to make him feel whole
Rising after noon
Impending doom
I love him I need him he'll be something... Soon

Fragrant
Her very name a typically beautiful flower
But to me, Jasmine is my queen.
I love her to death
I'd burst out of my petals to tell her so!
But she's someone else's flower now.
And even though she picked me first,
I continue to wilt
Without her.

Replaceable
Just here for your entertainment
When I'm not functioning
Or ******* your ****
I'm the atm machine
Used up
No wonder I can't get in the mood
You want someone new
Exhausted
Detached
You aren't you on or off the meds
Sad girlfriend
Weeping at night
Your back to me
Sleeping tight
I don't want saving I want you
To feel your love again
To cuddle up to
I'm only typing to fight back the tears

It hits me like a tidal wave
Although I don't taste the salt
It rocks me like a song I cannot hear
Although I don't breathe in time
Abstract feelings no sense of control
Tired and twisted
Shivering so hard; my aching spine
I fall to the beat of your heartache
And crumble lower inside

Pick yourself up my kleintjie
Your heart is in your eyes and your tummy is empty
There's always home in our arms
Always a bed to keep you warm
My lover and I will keep you sane
The others don't know, they don't understand, they aren't the same
They all blame me for your possible demise
But all I want is to hold you tight
They push you with hard words and take no pity on your gentle soul
We want you to be okay
We understand
We love you whole
Chin up my kleintjies
You are the two who fill the holes

It was always the lies
He told them to me with a rose and stabbed me with the thorns from behind
I was his possession
Not a thought of running away could save me from his side
I was always alone
Without a song in my heart in a false mess I could deny
I was broken
I was weak
Then this person was sent to me somehow somewhere like an angel from the sky
He changed me
For good
I learnt I was worth more than what lay naked before his eyes
I got out
I got free
It hurt me
But I won't cry
Because the love I feel for myself now was worth living through those lies

I know you aren't a poet
I know you don't write songs
I know you don't have a lot of money
I know you forget your wrongs
I know you aren't the girl of my dreams
I know you want to die
I know you forget I exist sometimes
I know you break down and cry
I know you don't tidy up much
I know you get low
I know you give up really easy
I know you don't let it show
But I know you try your best everyday
And that your heart is true
So for all the bad inside your head
Just know I'm here for you

Don't cry tender soul it's not your time
Ask me anything and you shall see
Nothing is as hard as it used to be
I've brought you strawberry milk, let me nom your feet
Everything is perfect, your kisses all over me
L**ove me like I do you, you are the start of everything

She was the earth
I was the sun
She would shy from me if I shined too bright
I would dim just so she could breathe
She would weep as greedy men would throw trash at her
I would dry away her tears
She would turn to face me often, a different side to her everyday
But I can't help but burn everytime she'd turn
Knowing the moon got to love her as well

Hope you find the happiness you've been pretending to have

If I am an angel then where are my wings
If I am of grace why do I feel so far from heaven
If I am beautiful why don't I see it
If I am God's favourite then why do I resent him
If I am the one you worship, stop
Because I fell for a reason and that reason is sin

It's been years but you still call me your angel
It's been years but you still talk to me the same
It's been years and you've had other girls
Why do you still miss me?
Was it the way I made you feel like you could do anything
Was it the way I giggled when you called me silly
Was it that I'd look at you like you were the only person in the room
Or was it my smile in the morning?
Well whatever it was it must still be here
Why else would you keep coming back to me?

It's not love it's not passion
It's two insecure people trying
To lean on each other until they **** themselves
It's not cute it's not healthy
It works but for how long?
At least they're finally trying but in the end
We all end up alone

I look down on you without pity
The view is breathtaking from up here
I could never abuse you, use you, confuse you
But I will spit on you and pull your hair.
It's one thing to push you around
It's another to call you mine
It's one thing to kiss you on the nose
It's another to fill you with wine.
You beg you plead you kiss my feet
I come down from the sky's above
Because even though I call you my pet
I do it out of true love

I wish you didn't have to hurt like you do

The more I think about it the more I realize
I never wanted to say you didn't do anything for me because you did
But you never treated me like you treat her
I'm glad, a little jealous but I hope you continue to treat her well
Because I'm doing what I want
I have control over everything
I don't cut anymore
I don't panic about small things
I don't feel not good enough
Sure I can't trust people like I used to but that taught me a lot
Because people are deceiving especially those you turn a blind eye to
I feel desired, I feel happy
I don't feel alone even though I am most of the time
You helped, you made me independent and love all the parts of me
I was too afraid to look at
I found what I do like and what I don't
I have to thank everyone I've ever given my heart to for tweaking it
Because I learnt how to love and how to love me

The sky is blue and so are you
The roses are all dead
She's probably off with some other toss
Giving lots of head
But don't you frown don't let me get you down
I know it's not too late
To gag her trap and stuff her gap
And put her on your plate
That girls a *** so roast her slow
Tenderize her well
Its not you to blame for her shame
She's going straight to hell
But wait a minute you're face first in it
And what is this you see?
In the womb of her ungrateful tomb
She's carried your baby
You take that child and hold him for a while
It's the blessing of a life
But you've used your fork you've used your knife you've murdered your loyal wife.