One day,
there won't be a knock
or a call to announce where I am.
I'll walk across your ribs,
towards the light of your heart,
to a door that swings wide open
to a place where I am welcome,
a place that I've earned the right to be.

It takes courage to open your home
to someone.
Each room held up by boards
of trust.
your head, your mouth,
an attic filled with old memories,
fondled by silence,
as patient as you are.
I would never evoke your wrath.
As sturdy as those boards are,
I know they still creak,
eager to lash out.
Not in vain, but out of protection.

If one day that is the case,
I will accept it,
for it is not just your heart
but all of you that is my home.
And if something is broken,
we'll work to fix and repair
what is torn apart.

Here, in you, I am home.
And I will take care of every part
of you.
One day,
there won't be a knock
or a call to announce where I am,
because you'll already know.
I wouldn't accept your key
if I weren't absolutely sure
that I wanted to call you home

Now that I am high, I don't ever plan on coming down.
From what I am told highs don't last forever.
If this feeling ever fades I don't know what I'll do.
I couldn't begin to imagine another night of sobriety.
A night spent away from what I've come to know as normal.
Something done randomly, something that's become habit.
Given time.
I don't think I could go back to the way I once was.
Something held close. Revealing the fact that nothing is as perfect as we could imagine it.
The moments I feel myself floating with closed eyes.
Picturing myself falling in love.
Now that I am high I feel that I am free-falling.
Finally jumping from the ledge I've known for so long.
A sudden pause from anything momentary.
The everlasting effect of something I've never felt. Being high.
Most highs don't last forever from what I've been told.
Always chasing something to compensate what was once felt.
My first reaction was to jump from the ledge of the couch and hit the floor face first.
Which was what I did. Not entirely my plan but it worked.
Choosing to stay here and seek nothing outside of what I already felt.
Leaving my sobriety anywhere but here.
A kind of reserve stashed away for safe keeping.
Not in the sense of smoking or anything that could be ingested
I suppose I took a piece of your heart and hid it where only I could find it.
But only when I jump from the ledge of the couch and end up face first on the floor.
Somewhere I know you can't find it.
I guess this high could be considered love.
A funny thing, love.
Four simple letters that could create so much devastation,
or bliss.
Love a whirlwind of emotion that takes everything then tosses it up without care how it lands.
A crazy thing, being sober in the midst of love.
Four simple letters packaged and distributed as something sweet, delicious.
Most commonly referred to as munchies.
Devouring everything in sight.
A buffet of need wrapped airtight in urgency.
Next time I sit on the floor I think I'll invite you.
But only for another piece of your heart.
Verballing from the ledge of the couch.
Only to land face first on the floor once again.
Love such a crazy thing

And if such a time comes.
I ask for courage anew, happier eyes.
To delve into sweet slumber without sigh.
Time neither passes or retracts.


And in addition I find the least bit bearable.
Unable to drown in total sleep.
The sights seen precious.
I forget where I place my head.


And I hold no grievance against thee.
Heavily affectioned to many a sight.
My eyes swallowed whole,
At happiness's interpretation.


Whilst I not forget, Sandman,
I dream with open eyes

She sprawled out across the sky, bored,
Perfectly sun-kissed.
From a distance she could fit
In my hands.
Day, the name we hold dearest
Day, the name of the memory I placed
her above all else.
I too, lay sprawled out, beneath her.
The intensity of how she makes me
feel,
A region I know well, sweltered &
swollen,
Without walls or halls to contain the
effect she has on me.
She took my hand & gave me the gift of
her presence.
My heart but a burning bush from this
intense percussion, this rapid sensation spreading steadily, rapidly.
A giant in my eyes.
I've climbed the highest building &
collapsed beneath her.
Black & wilted,
I am the wick without promise of
tomorrow

Perhaps she never loved me for me,
Perhaps she loved the song that I sung that reminded her of another; long sense gone.
I always sound the most infectious when I sound like someone else
Then perhaps too; she never saw me for me

I fit most comfortably
in your hand
Yet you drop me & bounce
me around.
When I fall I have every
intention of landing back
in your hand
But when I bounce back up
I fly in every direction
Except there.
I bounce & I bounce
Until I have no choice
But to lay motionless on the ground.
Still full of life
Still full of excitement.
Until you decide you'd like to play
with me again.
I fit most comfortably
in your hand
Yet you drop me & never pick me
back up

As I stood.
I noticed I was on fire.
Every inch of me consumed.
Engulfed.
Losing oxygen I gasped.
Expanding with each sigh that escaped this happening.
I stood helpless.
Was there anything other that I could do.
Watching the flame cacade over me.
Cracking an unknown desire.
To what cost, standing there
Consumed.
I was no longer froze, beginning to slump in every direction.
My oxygen breathing life into each crackle.
Residing in the coal my body became.
Scattering bit by bit in the wind.
Through the skies I burned.
Me and her.
Covering me with a warmth I've never felt.
Sitting down running my hands through sharp stings of hair.
That's exactly what I needed to survive.
Something new, something out of the ordinary

Sweet & delicate.
Warm to the taste. The thought alone drives me insane.
Before I can finish one I am already reaching for another one.
I am not myself.
I am addicted to the sensation. Each tender morsel, every crumb that follows.
I need you now, I need you now.
This never ending addiction that propels to new heights.
Your mouth dissolves into mine.
This psychedelic euphoria of transcendence.
There is no jar or wrap or plastic that can keep me away from you.
Your love is all I need.
All I crave. All I could ever phantom. There is no hiding me from you.
No twelve step program that could ever be created by man.
Even my WiFi adores you.
Holding each and every one of your cookies.
I long to devour each and every part of you.
There is no one part of you that is better than the next.
I am desperately ever so devoted to you.
My single reason for living

Tonight when everything goes quiet.
When you cut your tv off after
One last channel check
And the light from your phone flashes one last time before plugging it on the charger.
When your laying there lost in thought
Before finally fading off into a deep sleep.
There is a cliff that resonates between our deepest thoughts.
And on that cliff I am standing there waiting on you to fall into a deep sleep.
And grant you one of the best dreams you've had in a long time

Her love was like rain,
Falling a million drops at a time
Scattering through the sky.
Her love soothing, calm, wet.
This love not predicted by
forecasts given by weathermen.
Coming when ready.
She often fell without limit.
A huge gulp swallowed without spill.
Her deed readily prepared without haste.
Her love like rain.
Falling drop after drop.
Sincere without shame.
& I the none swimmer,
carried by her flood
& without fear,
I insist that she carry me
where ever she may go

Maybe tomorrow
I'll admit that I was joking.
Comparatively walking forward.
Pretending I saw what I couldn't.
The rustling of leaves,
Allocation to how far the fall.
The optimism of smiles.
After all, I've know this whole time.
When & where.
Deliberately stealing glances.
The second, third, forth
Consciously known that you'd find me sooner or later.
My role through the renewal of perspective.
Maybe tomorrow you'll forget &
I'll joking walk up to you.
Smile and say "Tag, your it!"
Knowing that you've been it this whole time.
The rustle of leaves growing louder.
Having known that I revealed myself without a word

I boarded a flight without intention on leaving.
Awaiting to see the sights I only dreamt about with someone I truly cared about.
I didn't care about the condition of the plane.
The tape stretched across the seat.
That odd rattling sound each time the wind picked up.
The experience of going somewhere new was all I cared about.
Taking the time to plan a voyage across the sea.
Maybe I should have taken more precaution.
Proofreading the Manual once more before taking flight.
Just once more to make sure I knew what each control did under any circumstance.
Boarding the plane.
Caught in deep thought.
Smiling behind the captains seat.
Just before taking off good
All my hopes, all my dreams came crashing down.
Being caught in a swirling gust of wind.
The lights across the dashboard lighting up.
I fought every instinct.
Ignoring that feeling in my gut that kept telling me to turn back.
Still.
I boarded the plane thinking that the only reason I feared not wanting to leave was for that of another.
Constantly grounded most of my life.
It came natural. A sudden fear arousing the very same gut feeling.
Lost in complete panic.
My world now spinning fast.
Tumbling down to the ground

If by chance I call & you don't pick up.
Take a message.
Take a message.
If by chance I call & your fast asleep.
Record me in your dreams.
& when you wake up I'll see you soon.
Greeted by the sound of your voice.
Only a call away.
If by chance I call & you can only talk for a moment.
Then I'll spend a moment in honest truth.
The moments quickly falling in the past.
Your smile always with me.
If by chance I call & you don't pick up.
Take a message.
Take a message.
Take a message so when you play it back
You'll always have a reason to smile.
Whether your busy.
Or simply just don't have the time.
Take a message.
Take a message

And that's one good thing I can say,
If nothing else and probably the best quality.
It numbs the pain, leaving you open to a world of awe.
It presents a comfort zone, of being at ease. At anytime, any place.
Such a wonder thing. Your voice.
Becoming a remedy to all sorts of aches and pain.
That one helping hand that seemingly comes out of nowhere, your voice.
That warm invitation that gets you out of the house.
Often taking you to a place you've always passed but never thought to go in.
If only for a minute, your always glad you indulged in such invite.
Finding remedy to all sorts of pain and ache you forgot existed.
Your voice, becoming that feeling you get in your chest when everything just feels right.
That utter happiness that leaves you dimwitted and goofy as hell forgetting that anyone is watching.
It's brilliant. 
Often doing something you'd otherwise never do,
Being taken somewhere you never thought to go.
Even if it's a passing glance on the way there.
What's even better, is that it's your voice that takes me there

Let's take our time
Together
You & I,
Let's not complicate what we feel
The beat of your heart against me.
Undressed.
Unraveling in steady breath,
The places my tongue has tasted.
The nape of your neck,
To your pelvic throb.
Your eyes staring back into mine.
Time but a gasp,
Consumed in the kiss of your neck.
My reflection stares back from your eye.
Ascension of the most high.
Falling deeper & deeper inside of you.
Your legs ensuring that everything is felt.
The mattress supports us,
Lost in current after current of timeless bliss.
The sheets no longer pulled tight,
Half off the bed.
Pillows no longer nice,
neat.
The thoughts we keep of ourself.
Consumed,
Outside of me,
Inside of you.
Beckoning for more.
The rest of the world put on hold hours at a time.
Prolong every moment possible,
Enjoying each other

I've been lazy.
Listening to one side over and over.
In constant rewind, traveling to a better time.
I realized so much more.
Flipping the tape over.
Following the sound of your voice.
I smiled so much.

It's not that I preferred one side over the other.
Finding error in my mistake.
In truth I thought things would never change.
The world finding convenience.
Music forever changed.
The click of a tape being ejected now shared between us both.
Lazily laying.
The voice in my head singing along with yours.
A long feeling that starts as brief.
Enjoying song after song.
Exclusively living in heaven.
To sit with my headphones and listen to the only tape that reminds me of you.

Our endless conversation.
A fear of the tape jamming.
Since then I've become lazy.
Before and after buying batteries.
In constant fear that any moment the cassette player will eat the tape.
And I'll forever lose your voice

And her name
Forever ingrained on my breath.
I fall witness
Lost in a daze,
Staring off into the sun.
Her name sweet.
Though often stung.
A tattoo everlasting.
A reminder of a time spent.
Her name.
A harvest of grain left behind.
Spread between distance,
A field covered in twist and turns.
Her name spelt in curious curve.
Stretched out.
A river generous in eternal stillness.
My breath a witness, in remembrance of her hands.
If I should ever rebel against heaven.
May I starve, shrivel 
Due to wrath.
Cheeks sunk in
Losing sight, staring into the sun.
The memory of skin fed to my lips.
Revealing hunger
My every word stained in essence.
An ink that fills thirst.
Splattered in the curve of my mouth.
My tongue forever scarred
By the kiss of her name

arms brush on the hands of a clock.
infatuation discovers love
longing to twist and turn into one another.
caught between the tick.
every second that passes
they wait to cross
the hour becomes an echo.
reverberating in hesitation.
anxiety grows impatient.
each minute expanding to that grand moment.
their shadows contract.
the tension of the world fades.
their skin darker than their shadow now.
in a heart beat the clock tocks.
you cannot tell them apart

My face lit up so bright when I saw my notifications.
I am not ashamed to admit how excited I was.
Definitely worth the wait.
The music chiming a song that reminds me of you.
That absolute feel good song you hope plays in anticipation.
The wait of reply.
Rewinding the moments back to when I first heard my notification go off again and again.
You really know how to reach into me and pull out the biggest kid.
Driving myself insane waiting on my phone to chime in.
No one else in my contact list has your ability.
No one else could have the ringtone I set just for you.
On the lowest setting of screen brightness, you fill my screen with all shades of hue.
Sometimes I think it's weird.
Hearing the highs and lows of your voice over text.
Our extreme use of emojis.
Searching for the comfort of each others voice when we can't fall asleep.
Although distance seperates.
I can safely say.
That you've truly made my phone a life line

Soon as you open the door
And I feel the touch of your skin.
I know I am home.
When my hands glide across the small of your back.
There is no greater absolute feeling.
My lips pressed against yours
Before the door can close.
The divinity of a kiss,
Revealed not only in places kept secret,
But the manifestation of each throb our heart begins to beat.
My hands beneath the small of your back.
The taste of chocolate swirling around my mouth.
Being here alone with you.
You've lit the fragrance of a passion burned deep,
And with each sensation that strokes this fire.
May we both wither like the ash
That burns in this ember we've come to know as home
Filled with a depth as satisfied as I am in knowing.
There is no greater place I'd rather be, than here with you

She was here long before I.
I was not native to her land.
I joined hands in celebration.
My every emotion, a feast returned.
Aligned in reciprocation.
I an inhabitant of her,
& She of me.
A comfort to the mind, body, and soul.
I saw myself in her,
Not afraid to separate where land
& lake begins.
Supporting each other as the sky and
stars.
I celebrate like a native.
I celebrate in all her teachings.
She a proud nation & I a piece of her.
In hands the color of mud,
I call every piece a name familiar of her.
Without lies. Without fear to stand up.
A fruit fully grown & sprout from the tree.
She was here long before I,
Not lost neither stolen.
I joined her hands and rejoiced
Before I knew I could breath.

When I first saw her I wondered the reason for her stare.
Nothing out of the ordinary but after a while you know, self conscious thoughts kick in.
Is there something on my shirt, does she notice how big my head really is.
Do I have a ****** that popped out to say hi.
Standing at the front door of hello and what the hell,
At this point I don't know if I waved to ease my comfort or hers.
My first impression was that she was tore down, the after effect of an avid pill popper, far too gone to realize how tore up she was. Xannies, Bars, Rolls
coming down from a pharmaceutical high
Kind of slumped over, standing there.
Lips quivering a muffled sound.
An impediment of sorts collecting her words as they spilled on the ground.
I walked over asking if everything was alright, I mean after all I couldn't just leave her there fumbling about.
Then out of nowhere I heard everything I couldn't hear before
Every word lunging at me making it perfectly clear that she wasn't living in her head nor was she just standing there integrating herself, eyes rolled to the back of her head.
In retrospect, I should have paid more attention to the lack of arm she was missing.
**** zombie

I wouldn't confuse the reality of having you near
With the abrasion of things that's happened prior.
For as strong and as independent as you are, my biggest fear is becoming
An after thought to the standards of the things we both face.
The privacy of things kept behind our eyes.
The affection of things overlooked in the heat of the moment.
In the social media of our conversations, I'd never pacify
You.
As romance is well endowed, with the width of every throb my heart beats for you.
Interpreting with listening ears.
Meaningful conversations held each, with their tight grip.
If there is nothing good on TV let's soul search,
Finding my heart in your hands.
There is in fact nothing wrong with your attitude,
The passion that flows deep behind the wells of your eyes.
But understand the intensity only crackles around the fire built between us both.
Should it ever extinguish, I'll surely relight it.
For light is equally needed to see in the dark.
In the times of uncertainty, don't be afraid to grab my hand
As I'll guide you through the dark.
Reassurance that I need you just as much as I need you.
The depth of my soul pressed against your lips.
For if I should ever fall, I am confident that you will always be there.
I am not perfect in the least, for where I am weak, you are strong.
The missing piece to the puzzle of my heart.
You are far from the damsel in distress, genuinely mature and caring.
I know you have your own set of dreams and ambitions.
I respect your privacy, the intimacy
That implores both of us to achieve both.
Together nothing is impossible.
A perfect selfie of both of us lavishly enjoying the moment.
For you shall never be an after thought in the entirety of my heart

She was four and I was six.
We held hands and ate pixie stix.
The big head little girl whom followed me around the corner. 
Soon we became friends.

 

We held hands with skin like bricks.
I cleansed her hands inside mine.
The words we didn't know how to pronounce until we were older.
The house across the street covered in thick brick.
Our parents always pictured us together.

 

I cleansed her hands inside of mine. 
The big head little girl across the street.
Her hair in a tight colorful scrunchy. Hair spread all over her head.
We both had to be in before the street lights came on.
Head full of dirt.faces darker than they were before we met each other outside.



Our clothes covered in dirt and grime.
Our fingers filled with splinters.
The chime of laughs and smiles.
The big headed girl whom loved pink and purple pixie stix whom followed me around until the street lights came on.
She always gave me the blue ones and called me her friend.



I remember the time I never wanted you to follow me around.
Often threatening to feed you to my dog.
Pushing you off the swing.
Stealing your turn sliding down the slide.
You never let me go anywhere alone.



Here I am, now older. Picturing the big headed messy hair girl whom always followed me around.
Truthfully I never minded.
Even now, ringing your doorbell in thought

I slept to wake with open ears.
Let alone, following a certain feeling that led me to believe that I was missing,
To walk a path that led to what I figured I'd treasure most.
A slow walk to me, to you.
Missing the hint that given enough time, all things change.
Learning to open the bright red door without looking back to whom I once was.
Continuing to walk forward with the hint I was missing something.
I convinced myself that I too was a reflection.
That not all footprints are forgotten.
The threshold of a long lasting impression.
Positioned under a wooden frame.
Bulging hinge.
The twist of a ****.
I sort of imagined that it would always be like this.
That self realization where I'd no longer feel I'd fit.
The hinge of an closed door,
That feeling that something or someone is missing.
The perception that time is always on your side.
The sting of a slammed door, sleeping only to wake with a sudden rise.
Left behind in that odd space found between each second.
Pacing back and forth.
Realizing
The amount of time it takes to unlock physical freedom.
When actuality.
I was the door that stood between myself and what I desired most.
A slow walk to me, to you.
With a helping hand, not all impressions are forgotten.
The blank creaking expression of doors and the ones we love

And this love for you
I have attached to a ribbon.
I have watched it soar
Weaving left & right above
My head.
Half-afraid to watch
Half-afraid to let go.
In the blink of an eye it was over.
The look in your eye attached to a ribbon

The devil walked into a store
Eying the clearance rack.
 
He made eye contact with the cashier
Walking towards the half priced jackets
Flannels & boots.

At that moment he saw something that
became his whole world.

His fingers wild with excitement
passing through all the colors
The hangers clanging against metal feverishly
to find that they didn't have his size.
He thumbed back through the sizes
as though something would have changed
Checking then double checking.

He asked the cashier if they had anymore
in the back,
much to his dismay
to receive the same answer.

He saw a cardigan in his size but hated the way
it looked.

Flapping the hood up and down.
He circled the store
Looking up & down the isles.

Until he noticed the buttons.
Those big wooden buttons
Memories of a different time & place
How fast time slips away.

All that's left;
Shoes to match

And with the touch of her hand, the wall became a bridge

I was your balloon,
You had me so high.
My head overflated, filled to max capacity.
You couldn't have possibly known just how you made me feel.
My neck attached to a string clinched tight in the center of your hand.
Then all of sudden.
Pop.
You couldn't possibly have known how bad that hurt

At the bookstore I found a guide
Inside was a simple instruction.
A funny looking diagram.
I tried everything imaginable but still couldn't figure it out.
Flipping page after page, Telling you what I've found.
The way the instruction was wrote was shoddy.
Continuing to follow the diagram.
Attempting what I read all you did was laugh, none of it worked.
It didn't hit me until I threw the paperwork that I might have been reading it
upside down.
Finding a different way to love you.
Upon further reading I followed the instruction verbatim.
If anything it pushed me further away from you,
A strange look that continued with the raise of a eyebrow.
I looked online and read the reviews, found the publisher of the book.
I wrote them stating that the guide was entertaining but still had problems
applying what I read.
I looked again at the strange stick figures wondering if figure one really was
figure one.
Reading the publishers reply,
They really should print these things better as all they did was laugh.
It wasn't until I reached the end of the book and read in fine print.
For entertainment purposes only

And when I look at you.
I see a thought.
The supreme conviction that in spite of ourselves.
We are the light that gives unselfishly to ourselves.
The pieces we constantly give to each other,
Not too much can equate that.
The attraction that starts first as thought.
Given wings.

The angels increase in thought.
A joy that lights upon our face.
Rather than keep quiet.
They have a strange yet fearless way of knowing just when to show up.
This light that spreads ultimate warmth.
Affection.
It becomes intimate.
Sharing this tender notion of fear.
The hopes and dreams kept afloat by each of our smiles.
To touch you in the most intimate of ways.
Even when I am not around

It's hard.
This feeling that easily becomes cozy.
The possibility of being shown something new.
The introduction of new words, new emotions.
Soon to discover fear of loss.
This possibility that brings to life an life altering halt
Before anything major has happened.
A social construct that thrives on reciprocation.
Slouched across the couch.
Found in sudden hesitation.
Wanting to move, but not wanting to lose that comfortable feeling.
The thought of having to find that spot all over again.
It's accumulation of warmth.
Everything that went into finding the good news
Then realizing that you have no one to tell it too.
Or even worse.
Realizing that the remote is on the other side of the room.

I watch you.
Wondering back and forth, gathering twigs and berries. Bringing to life a place only you allow your thoughts to wonder.
Although serious. I admire you alot.
I know if I was in your position I wouldn't walk through these woods alone.
I've seen alot of things though. Alot of the world's ill's that wisp through the echo of the trees,
I even watch the quirky things that you do without realizing.
The quirky cute things that you often pay no attention to when you do them then say "what" like nothings ever happened.
Like stopping to smell the daisies instead of the roses.
Splashing in a puddle of leaves then watch then scatter one by one.
Laying there without a care in a world.
All appearances are not what they seem.
As the world itself is a crazy place.
Sometimes you need that. To step outside of yourself and just play every once in a while.
The journey to grandma's house isn't a long one.
But the next time you stop and whisper your secrets to the birds and the wind flutters your coat.
I'd like very much to feel your hand rub through my fur.
And protect you on your way to grandma's house.
Maybe let you ride on my back

I need you here,
To bring to life the premonitions seen when eyes close.
The reality of open eyes caught in a daze.
The thought of every touch.
The caress of every glance.
Open mouths that inhale private breaths passed from lip to lip.
The gift of present times longing your embrace.

I  am a ball falling into
A corner pocket.
Hit and sent flying.
The clatter of hopes and dreams
Knocked into each other.
I tumble into darkness
A world I've never known.
Unsure of where I am going.
But I roll.
Sent spinning across a velvet tongue.
I feel the rush.
Direct from the cue stick.
Pushed by the cue ball.
A crisp crack and I am sent flying.
Seamlessly waiting in line
Not knowing what number I am.
A shot aimed into netted lips.
As I tumble and swirl.
It turns out it's not so dark
In here after all.
Love is a game, and here I am.
Waiting to be placed back
Into the rack

Each morning she welcomes me into her world.
The best part about it.
I am always glad I came, watching her pat her hand on a reserved spot inviting me to sit beside her.
A motivation for tired legs,
Our eyes resting after a light jog, over by the park bench.
Slowly watching our faith in each other raise from behind the clouds.
In due time I am drenched in the way that she makes me feel.
Even when we go our separate ways she is always there

Everything for the moment is inexplicable,
I wish I could give you this feeling,
To indulge in these moments of bliss that pass with each smile fleeting pass as the moments that fill the gap between us both.
Empty hands that long for something to grasp,
The air that escapes our lungs presenting it's ****** at the highest peak of the thoughts that occur when you aren't around.
The feel of your name against my tongue,
The thrill of watching the horizon mirror your eyes,
Watching myself in a place I wish I could dwell.
Wishing I could visit at least once or twice.
An all expense vacation to a place I've only dreamt
An early retirement, picturing myself in the hammock of your eyes.
Growing old without a care in the world.
The mist of the ocean cascading down the thought of spending just a moment there, The volcanos that implode inside out just at the thought of you.
Wondering if I could spend the rest of my life there,
Forever more by the bonfire that ignites every stare that connects you and I.
Without need for a passport, why would I venture else where when the place I'd really like to go is right in front of me

Time,
Are you truly as kind as you seem to be.
I've fallen in love with you.
And just like every other promise.
All I ask is that you not leave so soon.
The real reason I love you.
Is that you make everything sound so simple.
You've shown me the most beautiful sound in the world.
You've taught me to cherish and hold close these tender
short moments of sentiment.
That somewhere in these moments of beauty, you will
whisper back.
And tell me a secret of your very own.
But deep down, I know you won't.
And you will move on just as swift as you've come.
The reason I love you

And it is this reason that I feel that I can never go home.
Because I know not where it exists.
Familiar faces that exist with a bit of a twist.
Those same smiles & well wishes are never what they seem.
If heaven lasts only for a second.
Be as it may, then ignorance is truly bliss.
For reason that needs no further explanation.
I've built this place in my mind that feels alot like home.
But misses the main components that make it home.
If heaven lasts but a second.
I'd rather not be forced to drink the bitter milk of it's truth.
There are many sides to a face at any given angle.
Which one is you, which is me.
In enough time things change.
In even more time, it gets hard to spot the subtle difference.
Was I ever there to begin

Tonight I looked up at the stars
With one thing in mind.
Of all the stars and constellations I didn't see the one thing I wanted to see.
The moon shone through the clouds bringing a better view.
Still I didn't see the one thing I hoped to see.
I turned to Google and downloaded one of those astrology apps.
To much dismay I still didn't see what I had built In my mind as the end all be all.
Something a bit out of the ordinary.
I stood outside a little while  longer, nothing.
It wasn't until I layed across the bed and seen my phone disconnect from the charger.
I saw I had a few missed text messages.
A call or two, a **** load of e-mails.
Still I didn't see what I built in my mind as the end all be all.
That one defining thing that would bring a smile to my face.
There was no you

And when she began to speak
I opened her mouth just wide enough to look inside.
Stretching her mouth as wide as I could get it without causing pain.
I looked around directing her head in the light.
Highlighting everything I couldn't see.
And when I let go she asked what all of that was for.
With rose eyebrows I replied the person I met a couple of years ago

It takes alot
Loving you in these shoes.
It isn't horrible.
The way they fit.
The way they look.
Loving you in these shoes of mine.
It doesn't take much effort.
To slide my feet in.
Tie them, before a single step is taken.
Knowing all that goes unseen.
The padding & cushioning.
The flex of each step,
The urgency of how I long.
Revealing how much I've thought of you.
The many steps and puddles these shoes have walked.
They aren't waterproof.
They aren't well protected from wear & tear.
Loving you in these shoes of mine.
They are far from dress shoes,
Not even close to casual shoes.
They aren't the type of brand shoe everyone is in line to buy.
Stacy Adams, Adidas, Jordan.
Loving you in these shoes,
No one knows where to find them.
How many times they've come loose.
How many times the cushion has been replaced.
Loving you in these shoes of mine.
Knowing you've checked the tags of the name brand shoes.
The appeal of readily available colors

I hope that your the one.
Accompanying tomorrow into today.
The time shared from one conversation to the next.
Painting vivid pictures in each other's eyes.
The moments where time stands still, sitting in each other's embrace.
Rushing to get to the phone, hoping that you'd pick up soon as it rings.
Relaying different thoughts, new things to think about.
How much I've missed you, when could we meet again. Do we require permission to do the things we keep to ourselves.
The smiles that reveal how close we keep each other in thought.
The way you look wearing my favorite color.
The start of our imagination getting the best of us.
Spending time with you, becoming my favorite habit.
The smell of my cologne staining your shirt.
The times when all you need is a look. A slight procrastination that leads into different topic of conversation.
The comfort of voices revealed in low tones.
The perfect day dream, your head laid on a pillow.
A random date somewhere out of the ordinary. Drive in movie. Arms stetched out, pretending  to fly like we're kids again.
Big head pretty girl pictured perfectly in my dreams, a pack of starburst filled with pink wrapping.
Real life situations seen as practical. Late night conversations, the need to vent.
Not a thing to do but listen to you speak your mind.
The build up of stress from work, fake friends, the perfect invitation to relate to your favorite vice.
Not everything has to be about ***. I want you for you.
Imagining you walk from one room to the next.
The spark of intellectual stimulation, aspiration, the reasons I miss you as much as I do.
The fragrant aroma of your skin lingering, an incense of thought wrapping around the senses.
Waking up finding myself still in a dream.
A kiss to wake up to. Ensuring the future.
The sun peeping through closed blinds, the wiggling of toes.
The smell of decaf. Coffee in the morning.
Fitting perfectly inside the cup of my hands, the swirl of cream, a couple tablespoons of sugar, swirling about in perfect motion.
This is how I picture us together.
All in perplexed but interesting truth.
The simplicity of it all

And it is through that extension
The reason why you were created,
I turn to you because you make me better,
This spiritual sensation that alleviates all pain.
Never think that you are a burden
Through out everything that goes on through out the day
my favorite time is being able to rest my head on you and drift away.
I know at times it's hard to believe, especially the after thought of things transpired. The need to over think the stress of work the constant build up in times I should cater to your waking need, your wants.
Nothing can overshadow the way I feel about you, at times I know that it gets blurred but the way I feel about you now is the same way I felt when I first met you. Another thought couldn't begin to compare to the infinite light that shines  as you cross my mind.
The defining aspect of being around someone that you truly care about.
The feel of you in my arms, the caress of thoughts that fill your head resting against my ears.
I wouldn't trade those moments for anything.
Humbled in your presence, the fear of losing something so precious as you.
I kneel at the very reason why this alter I have of you is built so high, in my mind.
Though in thought I'd never pacify you, not wanting you to feel confined to one single thought or emotion.
Though not perfect I attempt to show you but end up pushing you further away but hope that somewhere, throughout the thoughts that cross your mind in a day,
That somewhere you think of me just as I think of you.
Even if it's the smallest space that fills your mind.
That in itself would mean the world to me

Easier is a state of mind, even a ocean starts as a puddle

My fingers are a boat,
Navigating the river of your skin.
Through the bog & long blades of grass,
I picked for you a bush of roses.
In the hopes of making you smile,
Wandering away with thoughts of you.
The kind of peace brought soon
as I see your face.
Though the sun has yet to rise
I’ve sunk down in the pores of your skin.
Searching for the best flowers I can find.
Day after day
Night after night.
I’ve dived & I’ve sunk
Curious of what I’ll find,
At times I didn’t want to leave.
My fingers free to roam the curves
Of your body with nothing to tie them down.
Your body a wave gentle & smooth,
Guiding me to where I sought
In mind body & spirit.
Through the bog & long blades of grass.
I placed all the flowers I found in your heart.
Wild & free
Tomorrow, I’ll return to do the same
To watch the sunrise of your cheeks

Her love was like the wind,
Nothing could equate to the chill that accompanied whom she touched.
The simplicity of knowing something this precious could exist.
The comfort of wind becoming air, swift.
inhaled deep
Exhaled, soon to return.
Unselfish to those in need.
Unselfish to me,
Her love was free.
A rebellious thing, the wind.
Turbulent, spreading itself without fear.
One of those things that just happens naturally,
Curious.
Chaotic.
the hint of wonderment each direction she spread her essence.
The power to give life as well as take it away.
She comes, she goes.
Her love was like the wind,
Free to come and go as she pleased

She has this urge that makes her open her mouth and howl,
This undoubtible urge that cannot be ignored.
She cannot express it, this desire that comes as an howl
A kind of war that screams in peace, isolated from everything she knew.
An annihilation of the shutters felt through skin.
Coming to a complete hault, a still breeze.
A silence of footsteps heard from foliage
An ecstacy of sorts.
Spreading like wildfire, burning everything it touches.
Laid bare in an empty room, her.
Cutting loose, giving into need.
This passion that beckons her
howl
Well aware of the moon
Bottled in winter's height.
A wisp of desire rising from her cry
No longer disillusioned, she howls.
Head held high, naked in euphoria

One thing that truly changes
No matter how I cut my hair
Or the kind of clothes I put on.
When I look in the mirror I am
still me.

Not very often do second chances
come around.
How often do things change
No matter if I trim my beard
Or let myself go and my belly
hangs over my belt.

One thing that truly changes
How quick you threw your clothes on
& left me with conversations we'll
never have again.

When I look in the mirror
I am still me
When I step outside I am still me
One thing that never changes

Due to popular belief. I believe that certain things are due to happen naturally.
Like all other things it's bound to grow. This thing, love.
We are due to become obese to this organic, homegrown feeling.

The initial look that begins as taste. Naturally we are starved.

Aroused by the scent that lures us close. This thing, love.

One thing we must learn is self control. To not over indulge in the primary reason it exists.

To selfishly take because it's there. This thing, love.

Effort exudes as it becomes habit. Being placed at a table readily available for what portion comes next.

This need becomes confused with want.

To please others before our need in unselfish manner. A straight forward response to habit.

The rising availability of also being taken for granted. The insurmountable outline that defines lust.

Our intake becomes higher attempting to justify the difference. Thus we become lazy.

Reacting in ways we normally wouldn't. This thing, love.

This scent acts as incentive,  instantly attracted by which we over indulge.

Searching for this thing, love.

It's a reasonable thing. Knowing when to reach. When to pull. When to give and sacrifice.

Almost always all of these happen, learning self control, vocalizing when we've had our fill.

Else we will continue to eat until there is nothing left.
Grown obese. This thing, love