I wouldn't confuse the reality of having you near
With the abrasion of things that's happened prior.
For as strong and as independent as you are, my biggest fear is becoming
An after thought to the standards of the things we both face.
The privacy of things kept behind our eyes.
The affection of things overlooked in the heat of the moment.
In the social media of our conversations, I'd never pacify
You.
As romance is well endowed, with the width of every throb my heart beats for you.
Interpreting with listening ears.
Meaningful conversations held each, with their tight grip.
If there is nothing good on TV let's soul search,
Finding my heart in your hands.
There is in fact nothing wrong with your attitude,
The passion that flows deep behind the wells of your eyes.
But understand the intensity only crackles around the fire built between us both.
Should it ever extinguish, I'll surely relight it.
For light is equally needed to see in the dark.
In the times of uncertainty, don't be afraid to grab my hand
As I'll guide you through the dark.
Reassurance that I need you just as much as I need you.
The depth of my soul pressed against your lips.
For if I should ever fall, I am confident that you will always be there.
I am not perfect in the least, for where I am weak, you are strong.
The missing piece to the puzzle of my heart.
You are far from the damsel in distress, genuinely mature and caring.
I know you have your own set of dreams and ambitions.
I respect your privacy, the intimacy
That implores both of us to achieve both.
Together nothing is impossible.
A perfect selfie of both of us lavishly enjoying the moment.
For you shall never be an after thought in the entirety of my heart

She was four and I was six.
We held hands and ate pixie stix.
The big head little girl whom followed me around the corner. 
Soon we became friends.

 

We held hands with skin like bricks.
I cleansed her hands inside mine.
The words we didn't know how to pronounce until we were older.
The house across the street covered in thick brick.
Our parents always pictured us together.

 

I cleansed her hands inside of mine. 
The big head little girl across the street.
Her hair in a tight colorful scrunchy. Hair spread all over her head.
We both had to be in before the street lights came on.
Head full of dirt.faces darker than they were before we met each other outside.



Our clothes covered in dirt and grime.
Our fingers filled with splinters.
The chime of laughs and smiles.
The big headed girl whom loved pink and purple pixie stix whom followed me around until the street lights came on.
She always gave me the blue ones and called me her friend.



I remember the time I never wanted you to follow me around.
Often threatening to feed you to my dog.
Pushing you off the swing.
Stealing your turn sliding down the slide.
You never let me go anywhere alone.



Here I am, now older. Picturing the big headed messy hair girl whom always followed me around.
Truthfully I never minded.
Even now, ringing your doorbell in thought

I slept to wake with open ears.
Let alone, following a certain feeling that led me to believe that I was missing,
To walk a path that led to what I figured I'd treasure most.
A slow walk to me, to you.
Missing the hint that given enough time, all things change.
Learning to open the bright red door without looking back to whom I once was.
Continuing to walk forward with the hint I was missing something.
I convinced myself that I too was a reflection.
That not all footprints are forgotten.
The threshold of a long lasting impression.
Positioned under a wooden frame.
Bulging hinge.
The twist of a ****.
I sort of imagined that it would always be like this.
That self realization where I'd no longer feel I'd fit.
The hinge of an closed door,
That feeling that something or someone is missing.
The perception that time is always on your side.
The sting of a slammed door, sleeping only to wake with a sudden rise.
Left behind in that odd space found between each second.
Pacing back and forth.
Realizing
The amount of time it takes to unlock physical freedom.
When actuality.
I was the door that stood between myself and what I desired most.
A slow walk to me, to you.
With a helping hand, not all impressions are forgotten.
The blank creaking expression of doors and the ones we love

And this love for you
I have attached to a ribbon.
I have watched it soar
Weaving left & right above
My head.
Half-afraid to watch
Half-afraid to let go.
In the blink of an eye it was over.
The look in your eye attached to a ribbon

The devil walked into a store
Eying the clearance rack.
 
He made eye contact with the cashier
Walking towards the half priced jackets
Flannels & boots.

At that moment he saw something that
became his whole world.

His fingers wild with excitement
passing through all the colors
The hangers clanging against metal feverishly
to find that they didn't have his size.
He thumbed back through the sizes
as though something would have changed
Checking then double checking.

He asked the cashier if they had anymore
in the back,
much to his dismay
to receive the same answer.

He saw a cardigan in his size but hated the way
it looked.

Flapping the hood up and down.
He circled the store
Looking up & down the isles.

Until he noticed the buttons.
Those big wooden buttons
Memories of a different time & place
How fast time slips away.

All that's left;
Shoes to match

And with the touch of her hand, the wall became a bridge

I was your balloon,
You had me so high.
My head overflated, filled to max capacity.
You couldn't have possibly known just how you made me feel.
My neck attached to a string clinched tight in the center of your hand.
Then all of sudden.
Pop.
You couldn't possibly have known how bad that hurt

At the bookstore I found a guide
Inside was a simple instruction.
A funny looking diagram.
I tried everything imaginable but still couldn't figure it out.
Flipping page after page, Telling you what I've found.
The way the instruction was wrote was shoddy.
Continuing to follow the diagram.
Attempting what I read all you did was laugh, none of it worked.
It didn't hit me until I threw the paperwork that I might have been reading it
upside down.
Finding a different way to love you.
Upon further reading I followed the instruction verbatim.
If anything it pushed me further away from you,
A strange look that continued with the raise of a eyebrow.
I looked online and read the reviews, found the publisher of the book.
I wrote them stating that the guide was entertaining but still had problems
applying what I read.
I looked again at the strange stick figures wondering if figure one really was
figure one.
Reading the publishers reply,
They really should print these things better as all they did was laugh.
It wasn't until I reached the end of the book and read in fine print.
For entertainment purposes only

And when I look at you.
I see a thought.
The supreme conviction that in spite of ourselves.
We are the light that gives unselfishly to ourselves.
The pieces we constantly give to each other,
Not too much can equate that.
The attraction that starts first as thought.
Given wings.

The angels increase in thought.
A joy that lights upon our face.
Rather than keep quiet.
They have a strange yet fearless way of knowing just when to show up.
This light that spreads ultimate warmth.
Affection.
It becomes intimate.
Sharing this tender notion of fear.
The hopes and dreams kept afloat by each of our smiles.
To touch you in the most intimate of ways.
Even when I am not around

It's hard.
This feeling that easily becomes cozy.
The possibility of being shown something new.
The introduction of new words, new emotions.
Soon to discover fear of loss.
This possibility that brings to life an life altering halt
Before anything major has happened.
A social construct that thrives on reciprocation.
Slouched across the couch.
Found in sudden hesitation.
Wanting to move, but not wanting to lose that comfortable feeling.
The thought of having to find that spot all over again.
It's accumulation of warmth.
Everything that went into finding the good news
Then realizing that you have no one to tell it too.
Or even worse.
Realizing that the remote is on the other side of the room.

I watch you.
Wondering back and forth, gathering twigs and berries. Bringing to life a place only you allow your thoughts to wonder.
Although serious. I admire you alot.
I know if I was in your position I wouldn't walk through these woods alone.
I've seen alot of things though. Alot of the world's ill's that wisp through the echo of the trees,
I even watch the quirky things that you do without realizing.
The quirky cute things that you often pay no attention to when you do them then say "what" like nothings ever happened.
Like stopping to smell the daisies instead of the roses.
Splashing in a puddle of leaves then watch then scatter one by one.
Laying there without a care in a world.
All appearances are not what they seem.
As the world itself is a crazy place.
Sometimes you need that. To step outside of yourself and just play every once in a while.
The journey to grandma's house isn't a long one.
But the next time you stop and whisper your secrets to the birds and the wind flutters your coat.
I'd like very much to feel your hand rub through my fur.
And protect you on your way to grandma's house.
Maybe let you ride on my back

I need you here,
To bring to life the premonitions seen when eyes close.
The reality of open eyes caught in a daze.
The thought of every touch.
The caress of every glance.
Open mouths that inhale private breaths passed from lip to lip.
The gift of present times longing your embrace.

I  am a ball falling into
A corner pocket.
Hit and sent flying.
The clatter of hopes and dreams
Knocked into each other.
I tumble into darkness
A world I've never known.
Unsure of where I am going.
But I roll.
Sent spinning across a velvet tongue.
I feel the rush.
Direct from the cue stick.
Pushed by the cue ball.
A crisp crack and I am sent flying.
Seamlessly waiting in line
Not knowing what number I am.
A shot aimed into netted lips.
As I tumble and swirl.
It turns out it's not so dark
In here after all.
Love is a game, and here I am.
Waiting to be placed back
Into the rack

Everything for the moment is inexplicable,
I wish I could give you this feeling,
To indulge in these moments of bliss that pass with each smile fleeting pass as the moments that fill the gap between us both.
Empty hands that long for something to grasp,
The air that escapes our lungs presenting it's ****** at the highest peak of the thoughts that occur when you aren't around.
The feel of your name against my tongue,
The thrill of watching the horizon mirror your eyes,
Watching myself in a place I wish I could dwell.
Wishing I could visit at least once or twice.
An all expense vacation to a place I've only dreamt
An early retirement, picturing myself in the hammock of your eyes.
Growing old without a care in the world.
The mist of the ocean cascading down the thought of spending just a moment there, The volcanos that implode inside out just at the thought of you.
Wondering if I could spend the rest of my life there,
Forever more by the bonfire that ignites every stare that connects you and I.
Without need for a passport, why would I venture else where when the place I'd really like to go is right in front of me

Each morning she welcomes me into her world.
The best part about it.
I am always glad I came, watching her pat her hand on a reserved spot inviting me to sit beside her.
A motivation for tired legs,
Our eyes resting after a light jog, over by the park bench.
Slowly watching our faith in each other raise from behind the clouds.
In due time I am drenched in the way that she makes me feel.
Even when we go our separate ways she is always there

Time,
Are you truly as kind as you seem to be.
I've fallen in love with you.
And just like every other promise.
All I ask is that you not leave so soon.
The real reason I love you.
Is that you make everything sound so simple.
You've shown me the most beautiful sound in the world.
You've taught me to cherish and hold close these tender
short moments of sentiment.
That somewhere in these moments of beauty, you will
whisper back.
And tell me a secret of your very own.
But deep down, I know you won't.
And you will move on just as swift as you've come.
The reason I love you

And it is this reason that I feel that I can never go home.
Because I know not where it exists.
Familiar faces that exist with a bit of a twist.
Those same smiles & well wishes are never what they seem.
If heaven lasts only for a second.
Be as it may, then ignorance is truly bliss.
For reason that needs no further explanation.
I've built this place in my mind that feels alot like home.
But misses the main components that make it home.
If heaven lasts but a second.
I'd rather not be forced to drink the bitter milk of it's truth.
There are many sides to a face at any given angle.
Which one is you, which is me.
In enough time things change.
In even more time, it gets hard to spot the subtle difference.
Was I ever there to begin

Tonight I looked up at the stars
With one thing in mind.
Of all the stars and constellations I didn't see the one thing I wanted to see.
The moon shone through the clouds bringing a better view.
Still I didn't see the one thing I hoped to see.
I turned to Google and downloaded one of those astrology apps.
To much dismay I still didn't see what I had built In my mind as the end all be all.
Something a bit out of the ordinary.
I stood outside a little while  longer, nothing.
It wasn't until I layed across the bed and seen my phone disconnect from the charger.
I saw I had a few missed text messages.
A call or two, a **** load of e-mails.
Still I didn't see what I built in my mind as the end all be all.
That one defining thing that would bring a smile to my face.
There was no you

And when she began to speak
I opened her mouth just wide enough to look inside.
Stretching her mouth as wide as I could get it without causing pain.
I looked around directing her head in the light.
Highlighting everything I couldn't see.
And when I let go she asked what all of that was for.
With rose eyebrows I replied the person I met a couple of years ago

It takes alot
Loving you in these shoes.
It isn't horrible.
The way they fit.
The way they look.
Loving you in these shoes of mine.
It doesn't take much effort.
To slide my feet in.
Tie them, before a single step is taken.
Knowing all that goes unseen.
The padding & cushioning.
The flex of each step,
The urgency of how I long.
Revealing how much I've thought of you.
The many steps and puddles these shoes have walked.
They aren't waterproof.
They aren't well protected from wear & tear.
Loving you in these shoes of mine.
They are far from dress shoes,
Not even close to casual shoes.
They aren't the type of brand shoe everyone is in line to buy.
Stacy Adams, Adidas, Jordan.
Loving you in these shoes,
No one knows where to find them.
How many times they've come loose.
How many times the cushion has been replaced.
Loving you in these shoes of mine.
Knowing you've checked the tags of the name brand shoes.
The appeal of readily available colors

I hope that your the one.
Accompanying tomorrow into today.
The time shared from one conversation to the next.
Painting vivid pictures in each other's eyes.
The moments where time stands still, sitting in each other's embrace.
Rushing to get to the phone, hoping that you'd pick up soon as it rings.
Relaying different thoughts, new things to think about.
How much I've missed you, when could we meet again. Do we require permission to do the things we keep to ourselves.
The smiles that reveal how close we keep each other in thought.
The way you look wearing my favorite color.
The start of our imagination getting the best of us.
Spending time with you, becoming my favorite habit.
The smell of my cologne staining your shirt.
The times when all you need is a look. A slight procrastination that leads into different topic of conversation.
The comfort of voices revealed in low tones.
The perfect day dream, your head laid on a pillow.
A random date somewhere out of the ordinary. Drive in movie. Arms stetched out, pretending  to fly like we're kids again.
Big head pretty girl pictured perfectly in my dreams, a pack of starburst filled with pink wrapping.
Real life situations seen as practical. Late night conversations, the need to vent.
Not a thing to do but listen to you speak your mind.
The build up of stress from work, fake friends, the perfect invitation to relate to your favorite vice.
Not everything has to be about ***. I want you for you.
Imagining you walk from one room to the next.
The spark of intellectual stimulation, aspiration, the reasons I miss you as much as I do.
The fragrant aroma of your skin lingering, an incense of thought wrapping around the senses.
Waking up finding myself still in a dream.
A kiss to wake up to. Ensuring the future.
The sun peeping through closed blinds, the wiggling of toes.
The smell of decaf. Coffee in the morning.
Fitting perfectly inside the cup of my hands, the swirl of cream, a couple tablespoons of sugar, swirling about in perfect motion.
This is how I picture us together.
All in perplexed but interesting truth.
The simplicity of it all

Easier is a state of mind, even a ocean starts as a puddle

And it is through that extension
The reason why you were created,
I turn to you because you make me better,
This spiritual sensation that alleviates all pain.
Never think that you are a burden
Through out everything that goes on through out the day
my favorite time is being able to rest my head on you and drift away.
I know at times it's hard to believe, especially the after thought of things transpired. The need to over think the stress of work the constant build up in times I should cater to your waking need, your wants.
Nothing can overshadow the way I feel about you, at times I know that it gets blurred but the way I feel about you now is the same way I felt when I first met you. Another thought couldn't begin to compare to the infinite light that shines  as you cross my mind.
The defining aspect of being around someone that you truly care about.
The feel of you in my arms, the caress of thoughts that fill your head resting against my ears.
I wouldn't trade those moments for anything.
Humbled in your presence, the fear of losing something so precious as you.
I kneel at the very reason why this alter I have of you is built so high, in my mind.
Though in thought I'd never pacify you, not wanting you to feel confined to one single thought or emotion.
Though not perfect I attempt to show you but end up pushing you further away but hope that somewhere, throughout the thoughts that cross your mind in a day,
That somewhere you think of me just as I think of you.
Even if it's the smallest space that fills your mind.
That in itself would mean the world to me

My fingers are a boat,
Navigating the river of your skin.
Through the bog & long blades of grass,
I picked for you a bush of roses.
In the hopes of making you smile,
Wandering away with thoughts of you.
The kind of peace brought soon
as I see your face.
Though the sun has yet to rise
I’ve sunk down in the pores of your skin.
Searching for the best flowers I can find.
Day after day
Night after night.
I’ve dived & I’ve sunk
Curious of what I’ll find,
At times I didn’t want to leave.
My fingers free to roam the curves
Of your body with nothing to tie them down.
Your body a wave gentle & smooth,
Guiding me to where I sought
In mind body & spirit.
Through the bog & long blades of grass.
I placed all the flowers I found in your heart.
Wild & free
Tomorrow, I’ll return to do the same
To watch the sunrise of your cheeks

Her love was like the wind,
Nothing could equate to the chill that accompanied whom she touched.
The simplicity of knowing something this precious could exist.
The comfort of wind becoming air, swift.
inhaled deep
Exhaled, soon to return.
Unselfish to those in need.
Unselfish to me,
Her love was free.
A rebellious thing, the wind.
Turbulent, spreading itself without fear.
One of those things that just happens naturally,
Curious.
Chaotic.
the hint of wonderment each direction she spread her essence.
The power to give life as well as take it away.
She comes, she goes.
Her love was like the wind,
Free to come and go as she pleased

She has this urge that makes her open her mouth and howl,
This undoubtible urge that cannot be ignored.
She cannot express it, this desire that comes as an howl
A kind of war that screams in peace, isolated from everything she knew.
An annihilation of the shutters felt through skin.
Coming to a complete hault, a still breeze.
A silence of footsteps heard from foliage
An ecstacy of sorts.
Spreading like wildfire, burning everything it touches.
Laid bare in an empty room, her.
Cutting loose, giving into need.
This passion that beckons her
howl
Well aware of the moon
Bottled in winter's height.
A wisp of desire rising from her cry
No longer disillusioned, she howls.
Head held high, naked in euphoria

One thing that truly changes
No matter how I cut my hair
Or the kind of clothes I put on.
When I look in the mirror I am
still me.

Not very often do second chances
come around.
How often do things change
No matter if I trim my beard
Or let myself go and my belly
hangs over my belt.

One thing that truly changes
How quick you threw your clothes on
& left me with conversations we'll
never have again.

When I look in the mirror
I am still me
When I step outside I am still me
One thing that never changes

Due to popular belief. I believe that certain things are due to happen naturally.
Like all other things it's bound to grow. This thing, love.
We are due to become obese to this organic, homegrown feeling.

The initial look that begins as taste. Naturally we are starved.

Aroused by the scent that lures us close. This thing, love.

One thing we must learn is self control. To not over indulge in the primary reason it exists.

To selfishly take because it's there. This thing, love.

Effort exudes as it becomes habit. Being placed at a table readily available for what portion comes next.

This need becomes confused with want.

To please others before our need in unselfish manner. A straight forward response to habit.

The rising availability of also being taken for granted. The insurmountable outline that defines lust.

Our intake becomes higher attempting to justify the difference. Thus we become lazy.

Reacting in ways we normally wouldn't. This thing, love.

This scent acts as incentive,  instantly attracted by which we over indulge.

Searching for this thing, love.

It's a reasonable thing. Knowing when to reach. When to pull. When to give and sacrifice.

Almost always all of these happen, learning self control, vocalizing when we've had our fill.

Else we will continue to eat until there is nothing left.
Grown obese. This thing, love

Whenever I think of you
I runaway with you in thought; the grasp of your hand, the throb of hearts echoing through the veins of our necks.
No matter How far; how fast we run.
There is nothing before us but space.
I've run for miles with you in my hand.
Pockets empty of everything else.
Keys, wallet. No annoyance of a buzzing phone.
Just you and I in search of the end of the rainbow, the things we've always dreamt.
When I think of you I often wonder in those moments if I cross your mind at the same exact time.
Just sitting wondering what the other is doing.
No matter how far the mirror rests
A reflection is still cast.
The reflection of far away eyes
Taking a moment to look beside themselves and magnify the others pupil.
Taking a moment to rest as nothing is promised.
Taking a moment to forever memorize
The expression across your face.
If I indeed satisfy you the way I dream I do.
The ease of eyes relaxing falling asleep to the thought of you.
No matter how far I run, I still want to run further.
Its so easy to say nothing else matters
As the rainbow is ever changing.
Leaning from one direction to the next.
The ever changing throb of our heart
Whether we run fast or run slow we both run.
Day turns to night then back to day
Expanding upon the length of promise.
Longevity in each drop of rain that pours beneath the sunset of lowering eyes.
Relaxing, falling asleep to the thought of you.
Running across each and every vibrant hue the rainbow has to offer.
Holding you by the hand lost in thought.
An instantaneous combustion of an heart filled with joy.
Humbled in the thought of you.
Without lack of depth as these colors seem transparent from a far
Without such speech to fully understand what's being said.
The feel of your footprint left on my soul of all the many places you've stepped.
A gospel sung with each and every look from your eye.
Though soundless. Their words are heard loud and clear.
A lullaby that grants comfort, a peace of mind that only the soul could uphold as enlightened.

Gifts and corporations do not equate love.
Although I admire a certain aspect.
The after effect.
Everything being restricted to one day.
Three-hundred sixty-four days in comparison.
To show how much you love, how much you care.
The simplicity of taking time out to do something special for the one you love
out of sheer appreciation.
Price tags don't include how vital it is to bask in the same breath as your loved one.
The amount of time it takes
Creating memories that outlive us.
The moments we constantly over-obsess
How could they, they are manufactured in the same manner of restriction.
Mass quantities of fluff and chocolate.
All ranging from big to small.
A single day that lasts three-hundred sixty-four days.
Love is the rarest commodity and it's all of these small moments
That create the most memories.
The after effect.
In actuality.
The real holiday is to see your face light up at all the discounted chocolate
as we celebrate each and every day
The same way we met
Three-hundred sixty-five days

To a point of trust.
There is no such barrier as insecurity.
In over one hundred pictures you are free to do as you please.
Intuition doesn't lie.
A sudden sensation that strikes out the blue.
Theres no need for passwords or indiscreet glances.
A rare case trust comes into question.
A certain closure that adjusts to a overwhelming thought.
A sudden reach or pull confirms this serious accusation.
Things change.
A subtle glance to remember the way things use to be.
In over one hundred different pictures I witnessed your body language begin to change.
In over one hundred different ways you hid pieces of yourself behind a password.
In a world where we are free to do as we please.
You decided to hide yourself.
Second guessing that truth would never find the light.
Appearing against the phone of a random stranger.
Another secret.
A light to peek through the crevice

It was hard to forget her
Especially on overcast days.
The spots we stood, eavesdropping in the clouds where she came the hardest.
The quiver sent through her spine constituting the lightening that left her paralyzed.  
She stood electrified, curious of where we would strike next.
All I wanted was to be needed.
Soaked in the rain that poured
In between sounds of thunder.
Her moan was the loudest.
In the pursuit of true happiness
I stood in her storm.
Pacing back and forth becoming the lightening rod causing her to strike.
With gusts up to about 120 mph she came without haste.
A bolt of lightening, devoured by swollen space.
As strong and as fast as she came she was fragile.
Collapsing soon as she struck.
Dissipating into the belief that she was to disappear without a trace.
Thunder pierced through the sky.
Bellowing her return.
The crackle of her moan replied, wrapping around complete space.
Resting her head for moments longer.
Changing the way she saw herself

When it came to her
I had a slender grasp
Though unintentional.
When I think about it.
Deep down it was I rearing
a lack of confidence.
Living up our anonymous
expectation.
Though she was around
My arms would always cross up.
I was righteously liberated.
The perfect punctuation
of how I'd run on mentally,
Constantly around & around.
I wasn't embarrassed.
Revealing which part of her made me tick.
I can tell she didn't expect my answer
But with such a slender grasp,
every second spent with her made me tick.
At least for a little while
Perhaps the most un-thought thought.
Where do we place the batteries when they run out
Or will my arms be crossed up forever
Constantly around & around.
I find that time- such a strange & unusual thing.
Brings focus to things outside of all the crazy
ways arms move.
All in a beautiful destructiveness I can't describe.

One of the best feelings
The first bite of my favorite meal.
It's hard to decide if it's hunger
Or anticipation.
All of this savored in smile.
The spice of salt, pepper among things
The aroma coming from plate to spoon,
The simplicity of it all.
I live for this feeling,
This warm cozy feeling,
A tight hug from meal to lips.
Theres no better feeling.
Tight hugs
Followed by her kisses

Sometimes I think you are a fairy.
Everytime you appear everything gets better.
It's always unexpected.
Not that I don't expect you to show your pretty face.
It's how you appear.
Seeing you whole.
Though curious to where you hide your wings.
No matter how many times I mix my words up
You know just what I am saying.
Reaching into your bag, sprinkling your dust as you please.
My mouth covered a thousand times over, your essence.


Your words fly right out of your mouth.
And like that I am in awe.
One feeling at a time.
It's funny, how beautiful you are.
The way you sprinkle your pixie dust.
You know just how to pick me up.
The twitch of your nose.
The dimple that forms in your cheek.
The world a distant place.
This moment spent ensuring our distance.
The rest of me in your bag.
I acknowledge how special you are.
I'd never place you in a jar or any form of glass.
I'd never misuse any part of you.
My heart being the concrete that cushions the way you walk.
Your lips the fascination of the sun.
The bigger problem is how you always seem to find me when I am at my lowest.
And how I can never catch you off guard.
Never.
Your whisper in my ear.


Sinking into your presence

In her heart just beneath her skin lays a tin pitcher.
The spout along with it's sides covered with frost from the coldest of water.
Parched lips long for a drink.
But without cup or glass.

I implore that I have swallowed fear of the utmost; Diving in head first.

A slow sip that eases the insecurity of rejection.

Another sip that interjects that you could be everything that I need.

One more to ensure that  I would gladly drown to be loved by you

Of all things sentimental.
She came through the door wearing a suit of armor.
The door closed behind her with a rattle and tick of swaying arms.
With rust around her eyes she longed to be melted down.
A drop left in her can of oil.
The metal on her chest plate dull, full of dents.
She explained that her heart stopped working.
That the gears and springs just won't turn.
With a screwdriver jammed in the middle and a bolt or two missing.
I heard the man behind the counter say that he could repair it but she too insisted in a louder voice.
Its not worth the trouble, that she'd rather be melted down.
Too much time has passed, she wants to finally feel the warmth of something genuine.
I watched her as she walked into the welder's shop.
Some people laughed. Others wore a look of wrinkled eyebrows.
Revealing their defect. Noses turnt sharp in the air.
Beauty comes in all shapes and form.
A beautiful shape molded into tin to protect how precious she was.
Dings and dents from the rocks they'd throw.
The world is a cruel place.
Her operator forgetting her name, A reflection of alzheimer's not done intentionally.
The damage of watching everything around you slowly change.
The insecurities of home no longer being home.
She pierced a hole over her heart with a screwdriver.
Jamming the gears. Causing nuts bolts and springs to bounce everywhere in a buildup of steam.
Rust composites in the duct of her eyes.
I watched her walk through the door.
Making brief eye contact before walking through the door myself.
When I walked in there was no sign of her.
Just the man behind the counter setting out a new watch stained in rust

Her heart was like a million tiny rubber bands
Bouncing from one direction to the next
A boomerang effect
Honest in truth
Memorizing the feeling of each echo
The pull and snap of elastic
Too often
She gave pieces of herself
In the end
To be the only one cleaning up

When buildings crumble
& return back to dust
& heads turn in disgust.
Faced with lust & deeds
Of mistrust.

When all else fades
& the stars speckle
Like eons of old dust collected
& swept across the sky,
Time will cease to exist.

While some of us ascend
The staircase.
Not all of us will be so fortunate
In a desert of red.

In any case,
No matter which way you go,
Wait for me.

Wait for me at the floodgate
Which passion percolates &
The stars weep for us as we do
For them.
Don’t breathe without me,
Just as I wouldn’t without you.
Humble & unknowing

I don’t know what’s to become of us
But I do know,
I don’t want to be without you.
When buildings crumble
& return back to dust
When all else fades
& the stars speckle
Like eons of old dust collected
& swept across the sky.

Wait for me,
No matter what happens

Baby..Let's get away
Pretend that todays a holiday..
Your the perfect get away..
Each moment spent with you..
Baby..Let's get away
Baby..Let's get excited.
Spend all our time away..
Forget all about our privacy
Make today a holiday..
Baby.. let's get away
Make today a Holiday.
The weekend still days away..
Your the perfect get away..
Our weekly get away..
Travel..ing down charcoal gray
Baby..Let's get away.
Pretend todays a holiday..
Bombay & Lemonade.
the perfect get away..
The sun melts into your skin
and I the horizon that melts into you..
Your the perfect get away..
Baby..Let's get away

And at that moment I died.
Greeted by a single smile.
With any and everything.
Two seconds past departure.
I have given all that I have to give.
Usually there is some sort of warning.
One where imagination takes hold.
Of all the things I could give.
I find that now I have given my every and all.
Greeted by one generous smile.
Accompanied by lips that wait to pinch a heart in wait.
I died right there on the spot.
Now there's no need to wonder if tomorrow will shine as bright.
Knowing the reason I smile
No longer afraid of what dreams might bring

I love the night.
It makes the things we can't see that much easier.
Finding our way to the light.
The stars are beautiful.
Appearing in perfect dark.
Perfectly placed.
Such a calming sight.
To escape in a dream.
Proof that the most beautiful things reveal themselves
at the right time.
Shoving their light in the dark.
Shuffling all the reasons I love the night.
It's comforting. 
Losing track of time.
Savoring every moment gazing at the stars.

The weight of the entire world replaced 
with a shower of stars.
The dark, miles & miles long.
I run in thought.
Soft pats of feet through the shoving and shuffling of bright.
The advantage of seamlessly coming out of nowhere.
To look up.

Gone too soon.

I wondered in sleep
Body momentarily still,
The alarm goes off

If a turtle could.
He would walk faster- maybe.
Find some dynamite.

With skin the color of sand
I want to go there & walk along the shore eyes first meet.
In another life I am there
Voyaging the soft sand of your smile,
A caress felt soft between you & I.
Hand in hand, grains of sand shift between fingers.
That is just how fast time flies.
Fullness of taste awaken without barrier
The touch of skin soft & warm
To love as we never have in ultimate surrender.
A valley forged of skin.
I want to go there just you & I
In another life I am there
In another life I have walked for days
The thought of thirst never came to cross
Uncovered in mounds of skin
The curve of you discovered in the arch of patience.
Consumed in gratitude
An opportunity set free
From this life to the next.

Life gets tough when you aren't around.
Without none of the things you have to offer.
So much as the ease of a smile.
But what I love most about it.
I am not embarrassed or afraid to admit that it's the most powerful element.
At which point the sun shines it's brightest.
The highlight of my day.
We give our words with meaning that follows the philosophy our bodies react.
Naturally.
We enrich this belief.
Sharing our hopes.
Our dreams.
An intellect that requires what we find precious.
Time loses ego.
We relate without rush.
A fear we occupy our time with selfishness.
The things we use to compensate and further hide ourselves.
Being able to admit the things we otherwise keep hidden.
To travel the recesses of mind we lay bare.
The baritone which not only grasps attention but intent.
In full intimacy.
The way we came into the world.
Not beginning to know or further define the things we hide.
We cry not for attention but understanding.
We tend to go through transitional periods not out of hurt.
But to appreciate that we never take this simplicity for granted.
Without you, I admit.
Life gets tougher.
But it's these exact moments I hope to earn.
The sensuous moment time loses ego.
Not in war but in ultimate expression of the time it takes to love you.
It's gonna take years

When the tide was high
I loved to hang over the edge.
Rising and falling.
The gap widening then closing.
No longer visible to shore.
I'd lean over.
The wind thumping me in the chest.
My lips peeled in joy.
Well conditioned hair.
My fingers lost in wave after wave.
The sails filled in a gust.
My fingers folded between the current.
I a stow away.
Finding my way to the helm.
My hand lost in a sea of hair.
Sailing towards the horizon

Just jumping in.
Everything comes to a halt.
The first few moments don't seem as bad.
Depending on length.
The line of cars.
In a sea of metal
Something wow happens.
Metal crashes into metal.
Causally passing by.
Everyone is okay.
Making sure to see what happened
They drop speed.
The police attempt to make it through to the scene.
Little to no debris.
No never-mind to the expensive cars brought to a halt.
The Mercedes Benz, the Porsche out of place slow moving along.
A Black Nissan Sentra with two kids playing in the backseat.
The other side is free to go as they please.
Compared to most places this is nothing.
Try New York. Atlanta. Texas to name a few.
You just jump in, moving from point A to B.
Life is admittedly too short to walk a great distance.
A two car pileup a few miles ahead.
Bumper to bumper no one gives space to breathe.
A Cadillac honks in frustration.
The Black Nissan honks back in attempt to get over.
Inching closer to maneuver it's way in front.
After everyone takes a glance at the pileup.
Traffic is back to normal.
The two kids continue to play like nothings happened

Underneath the bright Hong Kong lights
The train darts off into the night.
The man next to me speaks in silence,
Nodding to the soft sound of the engine.
Head nestled into the comfort of the seat.
His head leaned against the window. Newspaper folded on his lap.
The window reflects the city lights.
A clear view of the stars that rest just above.
Twinkles outnumbered by the passing of city lights.
Folds of sheet metal and bolts welded together
Layer after layer.
The discovery of invention darting through the underground tunnel
watching the stars from the other side.
A sweet escape from the thoughts that make us feel trapped,
concealed.
The wrinkles on the mans face next to me droops,
he's sleep.
The innovation of being at ease.
And with a yawn and a stretch, soon I will be too

Her door was the sanctuary to inner peace; a sudden enlightenment
Engaging the candle of lit eyes.
Mindful to the calm hush; Disappearing in self.
Body, Mind, Soul.
Beside her door there was a lake wide awake with open ears.
I stood there Absorbing her wisdom.
A depth of kindness with each interchanging current.
I learned to speak without words. Connecting thine eyes with hers.
All else was swallowed; Exhaling, then breathing again.
Fingers extinguishing all else that threatened a light shone from her.
Her Eyes.
She'd shone me courage, grasping my hand. Entwining her path with mine.
I bowed to her and her alone in guided mediation.
At that moment there was no need for mirrors, realizing that she was my reflection.
My spirit animal, my refugee.
She taught me the language of her heart, being shown in silence.
I journeyed a place ears would have no use, my tongue becoming a stranger.
A total embodiment to the gift of her and her alone.
A beautiful lesson in poverty; Clinching my hands in prayer.
                                                         ­     Blessed in her presence