The saddest part was realizing we could have made it work. If you were truly in love with me, you would have fought for me. But you didn't, and that just means I loved you more than you loved me.

It is so sad to think
That the ones who self harm
who cut;
bruise,
burn,
purge,
starve,
are the most gentle.

Who would rather hurt themselves than anyone else..

You are not mine,
but sometimes
i pretend that
you wish you were

i create this idea
that you secretly
want me

and i often forget
its just something
i've made up

You do not want me,
and you are not mine.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
All of me... All of me... All..

My heart aches in sadness.
My soul screams in pain.
My head shouts in anger.
All my emotions, out of control.
All over a boy. A boy, a friend, a crush. The door was open, then she came. She stole him, closed the door, took my chance.
Tears rolling down my Face, washed away by the rain fall. As I lay there on the spread blanket, on top of the bed of grass. Thoughts of him flowing through my head. My body aching at the pain of the loss.
Sounds from behind me getting closer and closer. Footsteps, getting even closer. Suddenly as I look above me, looking down. His crystal blue eyes starring into me.
My heart stops aching, my soul goes silent in delight, my head goes calm.
Then I wake up.
The ache, the pain, the sadness, the sorrow, the anger..all back, and he is gone.
This is truly my living hell!

Dear my love,
You are the greatest thing that has happened to me in a long time. The feeling I get when I hold your hand. The happiness I feel when I see you smile or when we look each other in the eyes. I couldn't imagine life without you. I have known you forever now.. I love you babe. Your amazing. I miss you. Your mine. I'm yours.

My love for you is strong
so strong I don't think I could carry on
without you here with me.
Your my everything, my life, my love.
And babe your the best part of me.

My love for you will never end.
My love for you is forever.
My love for you is unstoppable.
My love for you is unconditional.

Your my life, love, and best friend.
Babe your my life..

I wish he knew how strong my love for him is but now its too late, I cant talk to him. Im too far gone, too depressed, too hurt. He will never know how I feel so I shall know forever forget of my love for a great person.

I am NOT sad.
I am DEPRESSED.
There is a huge difference.
If you don't get it then got look it up.
Learn about it before you judge me.
Deal with it or leave because there is only one cure. I won't get it for a long while. be there for me or leave.
I am done. With it all.
Only a few things are keeping me from finding a blade or overdosing.
RIGHT NOW.
So before you want to run your mouth.... how bout ya make an effort, know me. Then maybe you can be smarter about what you gotta say.

You have those moments where you think you're over it and then you have others where you cry on the bathroom floor wondering why you weren't good enough.

Write 10 negative things about myself. Here they are:
1. I am fat.
2. I self-harm.
3.Stupid.
4.never learn.
5.everything is always my fault.
6.I am a bad person.
7.I am worthless.
8. I am a *****.
9. I'm a *****.
10. No one will ever love me.

You play the role of a happy person
with a smile across your face.
But deep inside it hurts
And your crying out for help.

Razor blade razor blade
Let's sing a song
Let's erase the pain
Even though it's wrong

I'll press you. Against my skin
And wait for blood to come
My eyes full with tears
The ***** deed is done

The pain is gone
Even if it's only for now
As I smile to myself
And take a little bow

Razor blade razor blade
We sang our song
And now your time is done
Was it really that wrong

Save me. I am trapped. Inside my head.. No one to talk to, no one to help me escape.. Help me, free me, save me. I need out, now. Please I need out, I need an escape. I will go insane. Save me from drama, school, life, myself.

She just wants to be beautiful
She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits,
She craves attention, she praises an image,
She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor
Oh she don't see the light that's shining
Deeper than the eyes can find it
Maybe we have made her blind
So she tries to cover up her pain, and cut her woes away
'Cause covergirls don't cry after their face is made

But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful

She has dreams to be an envy, so she's starving
You know, "Covergirls eat nothing."
She says, "Beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything."
"What's a little bit of hunger?"
"I could go a little while longer," she fades away
She don't see her perfect, she don't understand she's worth it
Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface
Ah oh, ah ah oh,
So to all the girls that's hurting
Let me be your mirror, help you see a little bit clearer
The light that shines within

There's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful

No better you than the you that you are
(no better you than the you that you are)
No better life than the life we're living
(no better life than the life we're living)
No better time for your shine, you're a star
(no better time for your shine, you're a star)
Oh, you're beautiful, oh, you're beautiful

There's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
And you don't have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful

Do you really love me or do you love her. You know I love you and I want you back. But you want her. You deserve better than her. You told me to get her back to you. But now you are calling me saying you don't know what to do. Help me please tell me what to do cause I am so confused.

I know some people don't like me for who I am, for my attitude, my expressions, my style. But im just showing my real personality and im not going to change for people that don't care about all the **** I have to go through!

My dreams are still about you
So are my nightmares
I have come to realize
For you, I still care
My hopes have only you
Written all over them
Even when I think of you, today
You still don't cease to overwhelm
I still feel messed up
When it comes to you
My friends say I am still in love
Maybe that is true...

I hate being called strong.

I'm not "strong" okay?

If I was so "strong", I would have
never cut myself.

I would have never skipped meals
because someone said I was fat.

I would never started this
stupid self destruction cycle.

So, no, I'm not strong. I'm far from it
actually.

Try using different words; maybe
They'll actually mean something.

The time of the year where
it's too hot for long pants,
But I am fat and a cutter
so.. I can't wear shorts..

Its funny how your nice to my face.
Its hilarious how you talk **** behind my back.
And its down right comical that you think I'm unaware!!

By the time I was your age, I'd give anything
To fall in love truly, was all I could think
That's when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams
The most beautiful woman, that I'd ever seen

She said, "Boy can I tell you a wonderful thing?
I can't help but notice, you're staring at me.
I know I shouldn't say this, but I really believe,
I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me."

Now, son, I'm only telling you this
Because life can do terrible things.

Now, most of the time we'd have too much to drink
And we'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything
Too young to notice, and too dumb to care
Love was a story that couldn't compare.

I said, "Girl, can I tell you a wonderful thing?
I made you a present with paper and string.
Open with care now, I'm asking you, please.
You know that I love you, will you marry me?"

Now, son, I'm only telling you this
Because life can do terrible things
You'll learn, one day, I'll hope and I'll pray,
That God shows you differently.

She said, "Boy can I tell you a terrible thing?
It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks.
Please, don't be sad now, I really believe,
You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."

Slow, so slow I fell to the ground on my knees.

So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose
If you're given the choice, then I beg you to choose
To walk away, walk away, don't let her get you.
I can't bear to see the same happen to you.

Now, son, I'm only telling you this
Because life can do terrible things

White Lips,
Pale Face,
Breathing in Snowflakes..

Tears rolling down my face,
Her screaming in my face,
Telling me I am the disappointment,
I am the one no one will love,
I am the one that can't do anything right.

Guess what.
You. You raised me.
You raised this horrible person.
You raised this *****.
You raised this *****.

I am sorry I'm not good enough
I am sorry I am the person I am today.
I am sorry for being your terrible daughter.
I am sorry for being the selfish one.
I am sorry for being here. In your life.

Thanks mom. For making sure I know what I really am.

I have 100% been through hell. I have been through so much my whole life. I've been judged and bullied for 10 years. I've been hurt physically, emotionally, and mentally. I've been threatened over and over again. I've been Abandoned and alone a lot for long amounts of time. I've felt love toward someone for 10 years (almost 11), that person hurt me 3 times and put through heart shattering pain.

Do you know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you love so much that you don't know what to do with yourself? Do you know what it's like to love someone for 10 years, then get rejected and your heart broken by that same person and still love and wanna be with them? Do you know what it's like to hate yourself so much that your too ashamed to go or do anything, because your too fat, too ugly, or you just don't fit in?

Well all of that, It's me. Every last bit. I know I am a crazy mess. I know I am a pathetic, ugly, fat, loser, that has a loving caring family, but a really messed up life. That is the person I am in my eyes. So if you really think I am "all that", a "showoff", someone who's "perfect". Yeah, well, Guess what... There is no such thing as "perfect" and I know that very well.

I do not do or go through all this ******* to get attention.
I do not tell you who I am or "show the real me" because I will scare you away like everyone else.

So.. I guess this is goodbye because I know you'll run like everyone else.

Today I want to..
Write something worth reading
Read something worth sharing
Say something worth repeating
Give something worth getting
Choose something worth keeping
Sacrifice something worth giving up
Go somewhere worth seeing
Eat something worth tasting
Hug someone worth holding
Buy something worth treasuring
Cry tears worth shedding
Do something worth watching
Risk something worth protecting
Listen to something worth hearing
Teach something worth learning
Be someone worth knowing

Abandoned
Ugly
Hurt
Like I don't matter
Useless
Invisible
Like I don't belong
Not worthy of love

If I could have a wish come true,
a dream that'd come to pass,
I'd ask to spend the day with you,
and pray that it would last.

I'd run to you and hold you close,
We'd laugh and smile again.
I'd listen so intensely,
As you tell me how you've been.

When time was up I'd hold you close,
Not wanting to let go,
You'd smile and tell me, 'see you soon'
And somehow I would know

That while it's very hard to wait,
One day that time will come,
I'll join you there forevermore,
When I too am called home

My wish may go ungranted,
But it always will be true...
I'd trade many of my tomorrows,
For one yesterday with you.

I'm sorry mom and dad I know I've messed up bad, I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time I had to get my life, to get my life together, but I didn't

1993 you gave birth to me, sweet little baby girl had the world at my feet, before I could even stand.
Cradled me in your right and your left hand a precious bundle of un-made plans.
Hopes and dreams of bigger things, a bright future so it seemed
But that light grew a little less bright as I grew up we began to fight.
When I was 13 I was so **** mean, running away had nothing more to say then I hate you.
But that's not true now
I just don't, I just don't, I just don't know how to say;

I'm sorry mom and dad I know I've messed up bad, I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time I had to get my life, to get my life together, but I didn't

You never talk about me to your friends
Because you must be so embarrassed
I dropped out of college without any plans; I moved back home I couldn't even pay rent.
I was living on your couch trying to figure it out, cutting myself up, tearing myself down.

I'm sorry mom and dad I know I've messed up bad, I should've, should've done, should've done better
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time I had to get my life, to get my life together, but I didn't

I'm sorry that I couldn't buy you that house upon that hill
Or take care of all your medical bills
I know I didn't make you proud; I should've been someone by now but I never figured out how
I'm sorry that I couldn't buy you that house upon that hill
Or take care of all your medical bills
I know I didn't make you proud; I should've been someone by now but I never figured out how

I'm sorry mom and dad I know I've messed up bad, I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time I had to get my life, to get my life together...

I'm sorry mom and dad I know I've messed up bad, I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time I had to get my life, to get my life together, but I didn't

Sincerely, Your Daughter

A true friend doesn't care when your broke, being a *****, what you weigh, if your house is a mess, what you drive, about your past, or if family is filled with crazy people. They love you for who you are!

"You ruined your body, It's covered in scars, are you happy now??"



"You really think I did this to be happy?!"

I used to fear depression. Now I look in the mirror and want to smash it into pieces. I put on fake smiles, I have no confidence, no one likes me, I hate this place. Now I know why I feared it.

You know that feeling?
When your're just waiting.
Waiting to get home, into your room,
close the door, fall into bed,
and just let everything out that you kept in all day.
That feeling of both relief and desperation.
Nothing is wrong.
But nothing is right either.
And you're tired.
Tired of everything, tired of nothing.
And you just want someone to
be there and tell you it's okay.
But no one is gonna be there.
And you know you have to be strong
for yourself, because no one can fix you.
But you're tired of waiting.
Tired of being strong.
And for once, you just want it to be easy.
To be simple. To be helped. To be saved.
But you know you won't be.
But you're still hoping.
And you're still wishing.
And you're still saying strong and fighting,
with tears in your eyes.
You're fighting.

The loneliest people are the kindest, The saddest people smile the brightest, the most damaged people are the weirdest... all because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the same as they did.

Hell
I thought my feelings were gone,
But I guess I was wrong.

Freezing when you walk by,
Wishing you were by my side,
Looking away when I know you're there,
Because there's nothing anymore and of
that I'm aware.

But lately I can't get you out of my mind.
Everywhere I go, You're in my sight.
Can't you see it's destroying me?

Tears rolling down my face.
The emptiness is too much to handle.
I am alone in this terrible hurtful world.
No one cares about me as I once thought they did.
I am nothing to anyone, even to myself.
I have never despised myself so much.
I have never wanted everything to end so much.

And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories, I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying "she loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I destroyed her."

When I die, **** it
I wanna go to hell
'Cause I'm a *******
It ain't hard to ******* tell.

It's quite interesting when you like someone, you start to notice everything about them seems more attractive when it seems normal to everyone else. Their smile seems so much brighter. The sound of their voice is more soothing. Their goofy laugh sounds much cuter. Every little thing about them just reels you in. It's like their imperfections don't seem bad at all. It's funny how our view of someone depends on how we feel about them.