Another day.
Another week.
Another month.
Another year.
I fear the speed of time.
I fear that as the days blur into weeks, and the weeks blur into months and the months into years… that I will lose all knowledge of who I am, and why I am here.
Time doesn’t stop.
Time doesn’t slow.
It just continues on.
Time continues on with no care.
Time doesn’t see who it hurts and who it leaves behind.
Time just simply fades from days,
to weeks,
to months,
and to years.
I fear Time, but not because of its power, no, but because of its speed, and it’s carelessness.
Everything that Time touches withers away.
Every movement it makes is reckless.
Time is not graceful.
Time is not kind.
Time is a vengeful, and angry God.
Time does not care or love.
Time continues on.
I fear that before I know it, Time will take me.
Can you here the ticking of the clock?
Can you feel the breeze as Time rushes past you, pushing you further away from what you once knew?
Days turn into weeks.
Weeks into months,
And months into years.
This is everything I fear.

If I close my eyes- my fears are my keep.
If I stay awake-the voices don't sleep.
My dreams and nightmares merge into one.
       Reality seeps into my safe space.
It's as if this world wants me to break.
I don't know what this world will make.
       I really think this time I'm done.
I really think this time- the thoughts I run from.
The thoughts I leave buried deep; will break through, and drown me in the abyss that is my life.
I am all out of fight.

It's funny-how one word can change everything.
One word can make the good memories fade away.
One word can hurt more than a physical blow.
One word can overtake your every thought.
One word can consume you.
One word can break you.
It's funny how one word can destroy you, but one word can also set you free.
I would rather be hit with sticks and stones- then ever have to hear that one word.

I’m falling to pieces and I feel so alone.
I feel like I have no place to call home.

This world is made of people.
People who cheat.
People who lie.
People who deceive.
People who die.
People.
There are many evils in this world.
People are liable to put up veils to disguise what evils they have but;
there are also joys.
People who love whole heartily.
People who are loyal to their core.
People who would never *****.
People who will save this world from the autocracies of this world.
There is evil, but there is good.
People.

She was alone, but she preferred it that way.
Because when she was alone- she could see herself.
She could be herself.
She could feel.
She could breath.
The crushing feelings of pain and anxiety disappeared.
She was alone, but she was not lonely.
she was alone, and she preferred it that way.

As a child-
When the waves knock you down it's a game.
You are so innocent to the true nature of the sea.
You are innocent to its depth.

As an adult-
When a wave knocks you down, you run.
Because you can see the true terror of what lies beneath its beautiful, blue surface.

A storm brews inside of her.
Winds of the past ruffle her hair.
Waves of darkness crash in her eyes.
Thunder echos as her heart beats.
Lighting flashes when she breaths.

She is power.
She is a force.
She is uncontrollable.
She is beautiful.
She is unique.

But all of that power,
all of that force.
Is it to much?
Can she bear the burden?

She falls.
The weight of it too much to withstand.
She breaths.
She stands,
and she lets the world know that the worst is yet to come.

When the days are long and the nights are restless,
we seek for a way to forget.
We bathe in our sorrows.
We rip ourselves to shreds.
We bleed to feel, because not feeling hurts more then the pain of blades.
When life ***** us over we struggle to climb back up,
and when we get up. Life laughs and kicks us down again.

Whats the point.
We feel nothing.
We are in an endless cycle.
Whats the point.

Breath
                                          In
                                                                               Out

Think of rain not pain
Think of pages not rages
Think of the calm not the bomb

Find something to ground you,
Then...                                              Breath
                                 In              
                                                                              Out
                                    In
                                                                    Out

There isn't a day that goes by,
                 where I don't wonder about what could be.

Can't you see?
I am falling for you.
I am changing for you.
It's all for you.
      What will it take?
      What can I do to make you understand?
             I am NOT leaving!
             I am NOT her!
             I will NEVER be her!
*******   H E R

She broke you.
He broke me.
Talk to me.
    Help me help you.
She shattered you, and left me with the pieces.
He broke me, and left you with the shards.
    
Maybe, we can make NEW pieces.
Maybe, we can mend what they destroyed.
Help me, help you.
Let me in.
Lets build something new.

I can't lose you.
        You mean too much to me.
                   But the tighter I hold on.
        The more my hands begin to burn.

I love you.
I want you.

        But maybe, I need to learn to let go.
                  I don't want to, but as I look down at my raw, red hands.
                  I realize that the tighter I cling.
                  The more damage I cause.
I won't lose you.

But maybe,
you will lose me.

You give and give.
    But you can only give so much.
Because eventually you run out of pieces of yourself.

And after you stop giving.
  They start to take.
They take and take.
Until they have you ,
And you are no longer complete.

You can’t go back on what you said.

Once you’ve broken something,
It can’t be put back together the same way again.

You left me broken.

I only hope that the next person to love me-
is able to push aside my broken pieces,
and see the beauty ,
in what is left.

The girl opened her eyes.
She looked up.
Then she made a wish.

She wished to feel,
To see,
To breath.
She wished that life would become beautiful again.

From her point of view ,
The world was dead.
Dead or dying.

She wished that ,
People would be kinder.
That little girls would never know the same pain that plagues her at night.
The kind of pain that only occurs, when your heart has been trampled,
And your tears are dry.

She looked up at the stars,
And made a wish.

Honesty.
The lie that everyone believes.
Yet it is this lie we basically breath.

How can one be honest, when the world tells us not to be?
How can one lie, when the world tells us to be honest?

There is a double standard in this world.
One that tells us too much honesty is evil, but to little is insidious.
How can we adhere to the demands of the world?
The answer is,
We can’t.

We lie to be honest, but to be honest is to lie.
Honestly, we should all just hope that these double standards die.

It’s happiness I crave.
The strange euphoria from dancing in a rage.
The beauty in a books single page.

     How can one not be enthralled with the simplicity of everyday things?
     How can people glance over the beauty of life’s calmness?

It’s the happiness I crave.
When I see an old couple hold hands,
Or when I drive across the land.

   The peace and serenity of life.
   The happiness from the little things
This is what I crave.

Forever changing like the wind
You spin around I can never win
Your cold embraces me
Your cold deceives me
I never know how cold you are
Until the day you freeze me
Until the day I move no more