The path you take
The choice you make
It's all your decision
It's all your own vision

Cause everything's possible
This everything's now
It is what it is
You never know how

But if you believe
You can make a difference
And what a relief
This knowledge might bring
Just try everything
Try to do it your way
Let this be your one,
Your only experience

Remember that day
You look back on life
You see what it brings
You're staying alive

The difference
It's there
No one can deny
You made it,
You can
You are satisfied
 :)

It's getting me worried
It loses all glory
Confusion and fears
Is there, what appears

Another strange moment
The energy's missing
Its colour is new
A new day processing

As if I changed
My program in brains
As if the software
Needed some updates

Relaxed but tense
The opposites rule
Too less defense
Too much to do

The energy's a useful tool
I need to get from somewhere
It should appear inside of me
Not the confusion, that I see

I kinda lost something
The passing days
I tried to evaluate
But it's a mess

I wanted it perfect
I wanted it right
But now life's teaching me
It's alright

I gotta accept it
I gotta move on
I gotta just stop
Comparing at all

Too much to question there
I know, I don't know where
The best solution's hiding
But I will fight, Ill find it

This is already
What I do right now
I give myself energy
I give myself power

I encourage myself
To go on
Keep on moving
On fighting
Stop crying
Amusing how dramatic it sounds
My creativity now is unbundling

I will heal the confusion
I will break the illusion
I will always keep going
And myself, it is growing

Don't lose
Your knowledge
Darling
Don't get lost
In your brain
Expecting
Something bad
Is surely
The wrong way
But good is
To rethink
The attitude
You have
To question it
In logic
There's a proof
Ahead
Step further
Don't be worried
Nothing can stop you now
Examine to the fullest

The free feeling
The round
The evident
The present
The beautiful
The rare
Emotion
Moment
Ground
Obsession
Love and care

It’s not happening as you expected? So what? How do you know that what you wanted to happen was for the best?
Embrace the challenges. Embrace the unexpected. That way, you’re unstoppable.

I wish I could sleep next to you right now
I miss how your body feels next to mine
I miss how you're holding me,
Putting your arms around,
And how you fall asleep faster than I.

I treat myself with a little more respect each day.

I am at peace with who I am.

You either struggle or you don't
This is your own decision
The way you look at things along
You build up your own vision

Please tell yourself that nothing ever
Should make you worry in this way
No one should ever get the power
To make you sad and not okay

It's hard sometimes cause we believe
This one is the one out of many
But do we want this person still
To make us feel really unhappy?

I don't have to be sorry
Not at all
My conscience will fall
And let me alone
I will not regret
Not one thing
Not one
I will feel
Instead of fearing
I will see
Instead of hiding
I will go there
Meet it
Face to face
I will not let myself die in disgrace
I will fight for what I want
I will go there, fall, get up again.
I'll be strong
And stronger
Than I have ever been
I will be golden
Rock solid,
Deep with every emotion within.
I will fight, I will fall, and get up.
I will know how to call myself up.
To be able to look it in the eye
No matter how scary,
No matter how much I denied everything before.
Now and forever more
I will be who I truly really am
I will be myself, honestly
I will be and be and be and I will BE
Fierce and fiery and unapologetically ME.

I allow resistance to remind me of my growth.

The anchor of my heart
Please let me work

Stop holding me back
This struggle's a fact

Set me free instead
Let me focus on something but that

The anchor of my heart is too heavy
To move forward

I wanna cut it off
But I don't have the power

The anchor of my heart
Killed the message, the life
It is always there, this strife

And I can't move it
It's calm but heavy
It pulls my heart down
To the ground
Until the motion
Is frown
And there is no way back
I'd better understand
My emotions instead
The only way out
Is not to scratch on the surface
To ignore the internal maze
But to take a deep breath in
And to deal with the anchor within

It's ok to feel angry and to feel desperate about things.

I am just searching for someone
To fall in love with
Because it is that feeling
That I miss.

Now you talk like that to me
All emotional and all impulsive
I am tempted to reply
In the same unreasonable way

But because of that
I will keep it back
Staying calm for a moment or two.

To find the right answer for you.

Everything will be fine
Said she once
Said she twice

Everything will be fine
Just let it happen, alright?

Said she once, said she twice.

But this time, there's a difference

Because this time she herself is in this.
Waiting, waiting, she says to herself in distress
Waiting is the right way
For the moment, to escape
All those feelings insight
In her heart in her mind

"Let it happen" haha
"I just want to be far"
Far away from all of this
Even though she's gonna miss
Almost everything about him
Her and him - a perfect team

Trust is worth it
Be courageous
She is fearful
Never mentioned
How she felt ever before

Love is worth it
Scary word
She's frightened
She's shocked

She wants to hide
Though in her mind
There is a motivation

"I can't, I never mentioned..."
And all she knows after all this
That she's gonna miss his kiss
The one she never ever got.

Meditation, meditation
Meant to be healthy vibration,
Diving deep into the now
Losing every form somehow.

Feeling guilty
I neglected
My long meditations.

Feeling overwhelmed
Many tasks
In my head.

I am now avoiding
My own self-
Confronting.

Wanting peace
Still.
To know how I feel.

I am myself but
Ugly.
And maybe that's
Why I feel sick.

Sick of playing some role
To everyone around me.

"You're so beautiful, nice."
"You're an angel", they say.

But they don't know that I
Struggle every day.

I should be so grateful
For my physical health.
So thanks.

But I am disappointed
By having panic attacks.

Breathing gets very shallow,
Sometimes I lose control,
In my mind many thoughts,
I feel lost and alone.

Hundreds pieces
Are called Me.
But who manages it all?

Sometimes I want to hide
In a warm dark safe place
Where nobody sees me
And I don't need to be
Anyone.

I don't need to play
Any role.

I can call this place
My home.

I can feel whole
On my own.

Where I hold myself
When I am worried.

And I tell myself
Different stories.

Where I truly believe
In love.

Where I feel
As though I was enough.

There is no such thing as bein' adult
It's just an expression of many
It's just an abstraction-puddle
In which humans are hiding forever.

There's no such thing as the adult world
Cause every person lives on Earth
And here at times everyone takes a sword
To conquer this castle or another

There's no such thing as an adult behavior
Cause every person feels giggly at times
In fact these times are the ones we remember
We don't need to label them "a child inside"

There is no such thing as an adult
But you can call everyone a child
Cause that's the first name we're all given
And we all are trying to hide

There is no such thing as an adult
The only thing there's is an actor
And acting forever, without a break
The need to hide, to lie, to fake
It's all but good for a human being
Who's trying to avoid the lifeless way of living

Once anxiety hits in
It spreads around like lava
Projecting negativity
And causing so much drama

So I increase awareness
To end this pattern's madness
Restoring back my mindset
Slowing down, gentle reset

Breathing consciously
I remind myself
I am the one responsible
For my mental health

Comparison arises
It causes an earthquake
This is the perfect timing
To become awake.

Uncomfortable events are temporary.

Expectations, expectations,
Can I drop you for a while?
I don't mean it bad or vicious,
I just need a relaxed mind.

I don't really need your pressure,
Since it holds me back a lot,
Can I please enjoy this moment?
Cause it's everything I got!

I am living, not performing.

It's ok to smile at people.

Guarded by the movement all around me
I sleep under the sun in the breeze
My body on small stones on the beach, not yet aching,
Relaxing and embracing the unknown.

Ducks walking along the river bank,
Exploring,
As boats and kanus move past the shore
Where I rest on this peaceful afternoon,

Welcomed by the movement all around me.

My body is safe. It is safe to relax.

Sometimes I want to save the whole world from loneliness.
But I know that I have to start with myself.

I am safe, no matter what my anxiety tells me :)

Whatever happens - I am ready
No fears, only excitement
Whatever happens, nothing bothers
Here I am, no suffering, no more

Embracing every obstacle
Like in a game
Even if I got too much out of the frame
Whatever happens, I am ready now
No questioning, no doubts
Playing around
So happy
Being me
That's what I like to be

I keep judging people based on how they look. Including myself.

It's not me. It's a pattern in my brain.

It's okay to feel lonely and abandoned sometimes.

Guarded by the beautiful trees
I sit
Dwelling in the sun
My chest being warmed
My eyes closed
"Trust me", sings the soft breeze
As I surrender to the being
To the moment
To birds' and nature's sounds around me
Peacefully
Healing...

I am enough as I am.

I don't need to impress. I don't need to entertain. I don't need to please. I don't need to satisfy.

I can just be what I feel like being.
I can just do what I feel like doing.

Once upon
A time
A King
Spoke in a
Rhyme:
"Tonight Folks,
You will not believe
I'll show you
Something very deep
Inside of me
The secret is
Too hard to keep...
Too long have
I waited to speak
It out loud."

everyone
in the crowd
listened excitedly
to the royalty
speaking in clarity:
"My dearest crowd"

everyone bowed
to the King's Sound

As he went on:
"What's meant to be
Is what is nature's will.
For what feels right
Is what is real"

the people stood still...
waiting for more
the King being nervous
they couldn't ignore...
While he took a deep breath in
and scratching his chin let them know:

"So friends, I'll tell you
What I mean...
From now on
I will be your Queen."

If you don't have a reason not to smile... Try smiling.

Es wird nicht leichter
Und ich mach weiter
Bis der morgen
Weniger schwer ist
Bis mein Herz wieder
Atmen kann.
Bis ich wieder sagen kann:
Ich liebe mich.
Bis ich dankbar sein kann
Für die Luft.
Bis ich frei bin.
Bis ich ich bin.
Bis ich ich bin und
Mich nicht allein fühle.

Bis dahin werde ich
Weitermachen
Noch mehr lachen
Krach und Witze machen
Zeit allein genießen.
Auch wenn der Tag beschissen ist.
Ich geb nicht auf,
Wenn's am schwersten ist.
Niemand kennt mich so wie ich.
Niemand sieht meine Schmerzen ganz.
Ich bin deshalb für mich verantwortlich.
Ich werde mich nicht aufgeben, niemals.
Mit Schmerzen und Misstrauen schreib ich das.

Ich bin bereit mehr Gas zu geben.
Für mich und für ein schönes leichtes Leben.
Ohne traumatische Erinnerungen eben.
Ohne inadequate Reaktionen.
Mit lächeln und dem Wissen in mei'm Herz,
Dass jede einzelne Minute wert es war,
Mich zu dem Augenblick zu führen
Durch den Schmerz.

Insanely insane
No program in brain
No chain to attain
No page to stain

No need to repeat
Issues to reheat
The past doesn't last
Anyway

Speculation is ******
And the son of disorder
Like a drama recorder
Playing again and again

The anxiety's claws
From the head to the toes
In a circle it goes
Reoccurring pain

Let's be grateful for that one moment today which made us smile.

I was chasing a perfect picture of myself
till now
Fooling myself, I thought the outward was the answer
Realizing the impermanence of our bodies
Sends warm shivers and prickles down my spine.

Where one is fighting gravity
Another one is fighting life itself
One may embrace poverty
Another one may struggle in rich hell

As strong as grief
The body will let go
Our minds repeat
The patterns ever-slow

This night's embrace
May only cause surrender
The outward image
Dissipates in madness

And only thing alive -
Quiet awareness.  
What's missing?
Our joy in hearts -
Therein lies only sadness.

I accept the uncomfortable and the unexpected.

I am projecting
My self-rejecting
Onto other people

This harmless action
Destroys connection
All in my brain
A habit contained

Now realizing
Awareness sings
Let's liberate
Don't be afraid

Fears are surreal
Anxiety's real
People are mirrors
Of how I think and feel

I'm not worried about my life
I am worried about my image
I am trying to strive and strive
Performing on a stage
Called life of strife
This life of strife

Hör auf, listen to me
Du bist nicht so wichtig
As it seems to be.
What? You feel hurt again?
I don't know what to do
My friend.

I don't know what to do, my friend.

I love the vibes you give me
I love your many sides
I love how we barely know each other
And we already fight for one another

I love how this feels very new
I love my insights about me and you
I love how I am ready to let go
I love our relationship-flow

I reject fears, insecurities, too many thoughts,
I reflect sometimes, putting feelings into words,
I know we both know how deeply disappointment hurts,
So we're afraid to lead each other astray

But at the same time, we're so curious,
How far can we come,
We want to believe in us,
Because you know, nobody knows...

Is it delirious for us to find our way?
Isn't it obvious that we would love to stay together?
All the obstacles, if we keep believing, will they even matter?
All the opposition that comes and hurts,
It's only words.

Nobody can tear us apart but our fears,
And trying to control is the best way to lose all,
Floating, trusting, warming, lusting, dancing, in smiles,
Loving, time flies,
This is the way,
Now is the state,
And if we're meant to....
Then you know, we will stay.

<3

This wisdom should be on the streets
My wisdom should be on the streets
My wisdom should be on the walls
These words deserve to be seen
This knowledge should not be ignored.
These skies aren't just falling
They're spreading wide apart
To let us all inside
Into the universe's heart
The ocean is the place
To be and sea is paradise
Whenever hearts are aching
The water calms the mind

Where the sun sets brighten the landscape
New ideas take a different shape
And as the moon smiles down on us
We're simply here on our soul vacation
The wind is howling-helping us
To sail across the ocean-atmosphere
Where far is close
And the horizon's near
We eat and drink
We dream, we film
We sing in silence to ourselves
We're one with beautiful sun rays

As I am letting go,
Floating, finding words,
Coming from the heart
Of this country's evening ride
We're simply carrying on
In waves of love
It has so many faces
As well as phases
Always enough
For all of us
If we look closer
And we trust.

Precious time
Great ideas
I am using these

I don't want
To lose them
Make them useless

Automatically
Planning out
Creativity
Is the ground

No illusions
Can be found
No strategic
Or deep wounds

Truth is happiness
With no fear
And creations are
Its best friends

Beautiful
Nice to hear
This is how this short poem
Ends

Oh routine you are gorgeous
Let me feel nor old nor young
Oh routine, all my emotions
They are simply dead and gone
Cause routine, you are here
And you're making me flow
From the minute to day
To the week and Monday
All the way to the night
You're my day-satellite
Nothing new on my way
And as long as you stay
There won't be a single creation.

All I have is the routing vane
And the color of hay
Lighting everyday
Even blood of my veins
And the pulse of my brain
Have the same and old color
Of routine-blinded pain.

What is true surrender?

How to stop fighting?
I only know the why.
My heart is aching
Because I try and try and try ...

Constantly starving myself
From love
Permanently thinking
That I am not enough

"Oh my poor self"
This is self-pity
"Why can't I be as
Beautiful or pretty?"

"This is so selfish
You're superficial"
This is the judging voice
Sounds like an official

"Making yourself dependent
On looks. On other's opinions,
On not your own truths"

"Of course, you know best"
-that's the submissive one.
Digging deeper a knife
Into one's own throat.

"Whatever it takes
I will express myself"
-this is the fighter,
Not giving up.

"We need to stop,
This is too much"
The fearful voice
Afraid of touch,

"Uh you're so pathetic"
That's the *******,
Self-hurt multiplies
When it arrives.

"Let's do this again!"
The optimistic tone,
And there's the naive one
"I'm in, yes, yes, yes!"

"You can't be serious"
The everlasting anger
Trying to diminish
Whatever one thinks

And disappointment
Arises and lingers
In the air,
One is thrown into mist.

"I am so lost. I cannot see"
That's overwhelm
Coming over me.

This is where all the voices at once
Scream at me, talk to me,
Not one by one.

And overbearing with the emotion
One starts to drown in the dark and deep ocean,
Foggy the vision, nasty the mind,
One deeply lost, blurry and blind.

"Now are we satisfied?"
That's the expectation,
To make something outstanding
Out of every creation.

"Nah, could be better"
The perfectionist,
Trying to please...
Forgetting ease.

"My chest is burning"
Hypochondria churning,
Maybe the pressure is
Simply too much.

"You're so incapable!"
The inner critic,
Makes one feel hateful
Towards oneself.

"Wow, that's a lot"
Finally self-compassion,
Emerging slowly,
Comes into action.

"Burning" - exhaustion,
The energy released
And the heat in the body-
Increased.

"Is this awareness? What's my next step?"
Carefully wondering,
Still full of regret,
This is distrust,
Losing patience fast...

Helplessness howls,
Fear kicks in deeper,
"I think I can't breath,"
Anxiety croaks.

"When will it end?"
I ask and reply:
"It will not end,
Until I die."

It's ok to make mistakes, ask for help and to not know.