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What if I'm right..
and the  strange things  I do
(that seem so "cruel" to you)
are the only way that you can finally
become  able  to  truly see?  
What if what you once felt  to be cruel
entended up being the most  loving
thing you've ever experienced?  
I'm not downplaying what I've done
  or trying to minimize it
or justify my actions in any way at all..
I am just trying to tell you that the
original damage went into you with
severity and it's own form of selfish

Breaking that severity can never be a very pretty thing.

What if my love for you,  and the
strange way that I do it
is the only thing that would have
  ever worked

to help you to finally have a chance?

I am broken too.. and  the only way I
can truly enter into your brokenness

     is when your  brokenness

b re a k s

              against mine.

Love breaks the chains
Love aches for everyone of us

Love takes the tears and pain
And it turns it into the Beauty
    that remains

it conquers all
it changes  everything

M Vogel 7d

We would be the best looking couple on the beach.  
You would be continually dragging me into  your
condo bedroom to **** me hard up against the wall..

and then dragging me back out onto the beach
to slap me under the cover of the breaking waves..

where no one can hear me crying like a little *****.

Only to become overwhelmed within the emotions of it all;
and dragging me back into your condo bedroom..

Ah, **** Babe..

M Vogel Feb 13

There is a   r e l e a s e
  that comes,
in holding you
close at night..   a
barrier that comes down
in the late night
and early morning

  You've been  alone
within all of this  difficulty
that you have  known
  for so long.

And then very much

   even if only for a moment,

you are no longer alone

movement  in to
the night's warmth

is a long and difficult journey


She is hiding behind her projected frumpiness..
but when my young lovely takes off her glasses;

   Ah,    ****..

Those eyes are the reason men were given theirs.

Group facilitator is Christ incarnate..
                                      I am sure of it.

     "How well do you want to get, Paul"

I look over at her--
curled up on a chair pad..
hiding,  wondering
Looking down.. and then looking up at me
wondering if I'm gonna answer him;

      "Paul?  Are you there?"

I stare at her--  all alone,
biting the back of her fingers
fighting tears few in this world
would understand

There is roll-playing  in the group
using both action and Word
   to climb all over me
   and uncover me from where I hide.

He (my Jesus with an MA)
is staring at me,  inviting
I look back over at her
"I'm not leaving it, Dave"

              "Leaving what. Paul?"

"My brokenness..
its shattering of my soul"

He is staring at me, but begins to smile.
I look over at her,  and just know

  I will be with her forever

there is a healing
within the choice to not fully heal

      ..I'm going to Wichita

beautiful broken girl  is me
preston Jan 3

She's gone

And all the years
of holding in
Of denying  my truth
in order to protect her

     the truth ..

Of the horrors that she has done
Of the horrors
they both have done.

They are both gone now
No longer inhabitants
of this earth
No longer here
to bring the risk
of making little
what it was
that was not so very little

Even if they owned it
who could find the words?
There are not words
to describe the horrors

Are there left  enough years
to make up for the ones
the locusts have eaten?

    There  are no words
    to ever be able  to describe

    just  how  much  
    the locusts have eaten

🖕 ❤xo

A curse, deeply embedded into the DNA..
this is the inevitable fallout  of the love of man--
"Sins, passed down from fathers to the sons.."
even with the best of fathers, and the most tenderest of sons.
As in all things inherent within the confines of a fallen world,
this universal brokenness too must be worked out,
from a deep place within the heart and will of the carrier.
Little mini-carriers do not yet understand,  yet as they grow,
it is in an even more deeply- embedded trait within us
that tells us that we need to rise above
          that which now  quenches..   

               Our own rightful glory--
               the one that is ours to step into
               within the process of Becoming.

  There is always hope.   In the end,
                           death's current rein, loses;
                       Hell-bent on doing all it can
                       to keep us hidden from love,
it stoops so low as to even that of harming a child--
          through the dark-blanket-covering of  
          one's own little spirit..  in to concealment.
Always is there a threat, that if gone unchecked over time,
        that there would become a searing,
            but  also  a threat to one's little spirit,
is the risk of annihilation to their own little autonomy--
were they to crawl back into the womb  in deep  need
for love and protection from what now attempts
       to sear the little-one into complete removal
  from  love's  healing light.

It is the great oppression of the world,  that its inhabitants
have had to so very unfairly learn how to hide from Love--
and yes.. even at such an early age.  The injustice of it all
is overcome  when the struggler learns how to rise above--

             even that which causes most,
                    them to want to (or have to)  hide.

       This very struggle, if left unchecked
       (or becomes greatly multiplied through the horrors
       of childhood trauma)    that sadly,
            some little-ones are unjustly  forced  to endure..
these things can become the roots of what would/could  eventually
evolve into varying grades of schizophrenia
and/or   a whole slew of other mental/emotional disabilities.

Thus is the world, in how it becomes pinned down,
   and separated from Love..

the sad fallout, towards outcome..
for some.

           You (and those you love)
will not become one of these unfortunate ones,
my sweet friend.

            No...  no,  not at all.

Pass me that lovely little gun
My dear, my darling one
The cleaners are coming, one by one
You don’t even want to let them start

They are knocking now upon your door
They measure the room, they know the score
They’re mopping up the butcher’s floor
Of your broken little hearts

O children

Forgive us now for what we’ve done
It started out as a bit of fun
Here, take these before we run away
The keys to the gulag

O children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Rejoice, rejoice

Here comes Frank and poor old Jim
They’re gathering round with all my friends
We’re older now, the light is dim
And you are only just beginning

O children

We have the answer to all your fears
It’s short, it’s simple, it’s crystal clear
It’s round about, it’s somewhere here
Lost amongst our winnings

O children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Rejoice, rejoice

The cleaners have done their job on you
They’re hip to it, man, they’re in the groove
They’ve hosed you down, you’re good as new
They’re lining up to inspect you

O children

Poor old Jim’s white as a ghost
He’s found the answer that was lost
We’re all weeping now, weeping because
There ain’t nothing we can do to protect you

O children
Lift up your voice, lift up your voice
Rejoice, rejoice

Hey little train
We are all jumping on
The train that goes to the Kingdom
We’re happy, Ma, we’re having fun
And the train ain’t even left the station

Hey, little train
Wait for me
I once was blind but now I see
Have you left a seat for me?
Is that such a stretch of the imagination?
Hey little train.. wait for me

I was held in chains but now I’m free
I’m hanging in there, don’t you see
In this process of elimination

Hey little train
We are all jumping on
The train that goes to the Kingdom
We’re happy, Ma, we’re having fun
It’s beyond my wildest expectation

Hey little train
We are all jumping on
The train that goes to the Kingdom
We’re happy, Ma, we’re having fun
And the train ain’t even left the station

The center of the City is a hub..
the roads leading out (back in);
the spokes of a wheel

The road alongside,
is traveled  by so many
I am the rust on the rim
that aches  its way in

It is so much work
to return to that of Titanium
The beautiful Hub begs
  I do my best.

I marvel at the fact
that I have not yet even  begun
to find what my best really is.

Let it be..     No..

  May it be..

   ..that  of the world

           of  the  Unlimited

Grey stairs beneath the moon
Tonight I'll be dreaming of you
People and rhythm instead
And there you'll be there,
you'll be inside my head

Hmmm, I will dream of you
Hmmm, you'll dream of me too

Hmmm, your hands,
they're on my face
Hmmm, there would be
no better place

Some miracle man
must have shot me while I wake
I never ran fast enough
for my mistakes

Would you really want me
in the light of day?
That very same man shot flaws
right through my face

Hmmm, I will dream of you
Hmmm, you'll dream of me too

your arms go around my waist

there would be no better place

Could you have your arms
around me

Could you have your arms
around my heart..

In  and out,
in and out,

in, and out.

M Vogel Aug 2023

You make yourself easy to be seen..
    by someone like me.
The only  thing I would think you would  find
  as surprising

Is why it has taken this  long
for a beautiful Thoroughbred in Spirit
such as you
to finally be seen
for exactly who it is that you are

Free from assessment or judgement,
I would venture so far to say  
that the greater  central part
of who it is that you are,  
is (sadly so)  tremendously lonely.

Again, not a judgement  at all,
but an assessment of life in general.
A lover like me would be perfect,
but I am  (as you could guess)
spiritually volatile in how deeply I push--

..Even within the normal  give and take
of everyday things. Sometimes  even
one well placed  word  can bring one
off-center and into  (and towards)
an even deeper part  of their own journey.

Most gorgeously-luscious
Thoroughbreds such as yourself
usually  pick less 'challenging' partners
in order to have a somewhat more
'stable' home life..

..But sadly with that also,  develops
a relationship where the deeper,
   more exctasy-based and driven
      parts  of  you

   are left with no choice
   but to become, dormant..

in order to protect the 'beautiful-luscious'
within you from slipping into despair

--Until one day,
what you have been avoiding
   (longing for)  most,
shows his *******.. unorthodoxically-untethered,
brazen attitude (and perfectly clear eyesight)

   and suddenly you become seen.

There is absolutely no way
with some one like me  that you..
(within all of your Wondreous,
   Deep-feeling Glory)
would not eventually be seen.

I urge you to take  every single
part of it all,  in..
(the very thing you were "built" to do)..
Even if in doing so, you were almost
continually brought right up  to
(and so very often, "over")  the edge

Gifted fingers, helping the body  find
its own form of release,
when the pressings of Spirit,  mixed
with the deeply-Penetrating View  that
Love carries within every single  part
  of itself..
..Those gracious fingers are not 'up to no good'..
   but instead..
(by the very Deeply-Understanding
nature of Love itself)..  
  both they..  and the  whole
  beautiful process of Release..

      is deemed, Holy.

The physical human body  becomes
pushed way too far  within its limited
ability to contain,  the Wholly
uncontainable Ectsatic Pulsings
  of Love's true Agenda.

Perfection knows that and says
      (so do I)..

     "How could she not?"

Be gracious to yourself, girl.
You have wanted to live
within the Beautiful Realms,  
worthy of your calling.

   Welcome Home ❤

The tree knows nothing
but how to be only
what it is..

   the wind blows,
   and it responds..

And embedded within
  the treelines
are the little-ones  hiding;

There is a safety
within the  simplicity
of the groves..
Outside the treeline
danger lurks

Little Spirits  were born
with their little  freedoms  intact--

In freedom.. they are only
drawn out  by Love

I need some place simple
where we could live

   And something
   only you can give

And that's faith  and trust
and Peace while we're alive

And the one poor child
who saved this world
And there's ten million more
who probably could

If we all just stopped
and said a prayer for them

So take these words
and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now

'cause tonight's the night
the world begins again

M Vogel Aug 2023

Subdued,  into a constriction;

Young  adolescent spirits
were meant to grow..

meant  to  breathe.

The "Fires of Hell"
are the doings  of man
based  on the fears of man

and the need to control.

Little child,  running wild
"Forever"  is a stick
to beat you down

(Until the  wild  within you
no longer  makes a sound)

It is for Freedom's sake
that you have now  been
set free,  child

.       .       .

  In the "name" of the Father,
  you were first
  thrown to the ground

Yet..  it is  
in the Name of the Father

that Love came to town.


Your only rivers run cold
These city lights,
they shine as silver and gold
Dug from the night,
your eyes  as black as coal

Walk on by, walk on through
Walk 'til you run
and don't look back
For here I am

Carnival, the wheels fly
And the colors spin
Through alcohol
Red wine that punctures the skin

Face to face
In a dry and waterless place

Walk on by, walk on through
So sad to besiege your love..

So,  hang  on

<3 <3 <3
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