Once affirmation became deformation
aspirations turned into desperation
aspirations turned into exasperation
existence undocumented persistence expired
acumen undocumented the pittance expired
normal life forms a life
but nightmare world lights the world
dream journals adjourn dreams
through fantastic fantasies
of affirmation and affinity
or affirmation reaching infinity
so affirmation is gained at the expense of others
and affirmation is what we expect from others
but the affirmation comes at the cost of the abdication
of a firm nation inducing affirmation
selling being right
who's wrong is who's left
behind the hugfest in social unrest
the hugs infect becoming a test
to affirm what others choose
affirmation signaling their virtues
and if one doesn't affirm they'll sit and burn
which will affirm affirmation.

Please tell me I'm right.

I have spent my whole life attempting to find the sun.
So, that I may have a source of light,
In this dark tunnel that I inhabit,
Which is defined as my life.
But it was not until I halted my journey that I realized,
The world's brightest stars need darkness to shine.

Exerting true power
I bloom
Into the flower
Of the present.

She invited me into her home
apologizing for the lack of things there.
I could tell that she had renovated recently,
getting rid of the things that no longer
served purpose.
I thought of her as timely,
a perfect harmony of sage & mint candles
burning on a black glass coffee table.
about halfway through,
I realized how much I loved her home.
while she apologized in the beginning
less is more & it showed by way of her smile.
I enjoyed how everything was laid out,
from the brochures of comfort to the cushion
of where I sat.
the greatest intimacy between us two.
laughing at everything yet nothing at the same time.
but still I thought, how much she inspired me to do
the same when I got home.
everything that I thought was beautiful before
no longer had that same appeal.
when i extended the same invitation,
I too found myself apologizing for things
that needed no explanation.
my biggest source of inspiration,
I was glad to see her growth
& in turn stopped chasing the wrong things,
I learned from her
That everything is going to be alright

What if you were to see my tears of joy, instead of sadness?
What if I were to bask in the warm waves and let them consume me?
What would the world be like if I could branch out my wings and fly like this more often?

Would you even recognize me?
Would you understand all that I missed during my times of sorrow?
Would you notice when I am reborn into happiness, and will you remember it too?

God, I hope so.

This feeling is transformative,
to be alive like this,
and it is so comforting to be
held in the universe's embrace.

Perhaps you'll get a taste of who I've always been.

F5, F5, F5...
Am I doing good?
F5, F5, F5...
Is she proud of me?
F5, F5, F5...
Where are my notifications?
F5, F5, F5...
Perhaps it's too soon.