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Mae Feb 18
its times like this, when my mind is spiraling down into a dark place, that i wish i had someone.

to grab my hand.

to pull me out.

to hold me.

to understand me.

to remind me,

i’ll make it out alive, like i always do. i’ll be alright because he’s right beside me making sure that i will truly be okay. i’m strong, but even stronger because he’ll lend me his strength.

but i guess, like it has always been, i’ll do all the work. i’ll save myself

take my own hand.

pull myself out.

hold myself.

understand myself.

remind myself,

i’ll make it out alive,
like i always do, i’ll be fine because i’m used to helping myself, im strong because i’ve been in this place a hundred times before and probably more...I got you girl, I always do, I always will.
You’re not fully healed
but you’re not still broken.
With every passing sunrise,
your soul earns another token.

You choose to keep going
when all you wanted was to quit,
and look how far you’ve come
from when your heart was severely split.

The light at the end of
your tunnel gets brighter every day.
Thank you for putting down the pills,
the knife, or the gun and choosing to stay.
Shout out to everyone who chose to keep fighting those inner demons.
Your eyes were made
to glisten in the pale moonlight
and to sparkle when you laugh,
not to shed tears because of him every night.

Your ears were made
so that you can jam out to your favorite songs
and to hear your family tell you they love you,
not to listen to him insult you for so long.

Your nose was made
to rock a little silver nose ring
which boosts the self-esteem that he shattered,
not to be covered in makeup trying to hide everything.

Your voice was made
to declare your own happiness and find peace
by standing up for yourself and finally leaving,
not to be silent…just letting the toxicity increase.

You were made
to be happy and to be loved in every way.
You deserve better than the cards you’ve been dealt,
and I truly hope you realize that one day.
I wrote this a year ago as a pep letter to myself before I chose to leave my husband. I stumbled upon it today, and it brings back all kinds of emotions. Maybe someone can relate.
Aina Apr 2019
Do I care what you think of me?

Do you think I care if you consider me fat, stupid or ugly?

Your opinion doesn't matter to me. It never will.

Or else I won't let you see that it does.

With every hurtful comment, I brake a little more.

I stop feeling.
Stop believing that there can be a better tomorrow.
So every morning I plaster that smile on my face and walk out that door.

I don't let you see how much you hurt me.

Because that would be letting you win.
Because that would be letting you know how much I care about you.
That my love for you is killing me from the inside.
Destroying me more effectively than your words ever could.

So instead I smile and tell the world that I'm fine.
Let them believe that I am made of steel and nothing they say could ever hurt me.

But it does.

And as I cry behind closed doors I feel the knives in my back drive in deeper and the pain in my chest expands.

I know that I can't live like this forever.

Yet the sight of you is enough to change my mind.
JK Casilda Mar 2019
I know of the nights you were afraid of the moon.
You’ve told me how when you were a child you run from it because it was chasing you.
But you’ve grown to learn that being afraid of the moon is like being afraid of your own shadow.
I know of the nights that it still haunts you, though.
I know of the nights when you prefer to stay under a roof than to go outside and see the wide, night sky
Because you see, I know of the nights that you despised the moon for being too proud
Outshining the numerous stars that are giving all they got, even their life, just to catch our attention.
You said that one day she’ll come and get you.
That the tin roof above you would no longer be enough to hide you from her piercing eyes and one day she’ll finally come and get you.
That one day, she’ll outshine you too.

I remember that night when you told me you couldn’t answer my call because
You were too busy silencing the craters of the moon crashing in your room.
And I believed you.
I believed you for you always liked the darkness of your room. You always liked the clutter of your ***** laundry overflowing its basket, the crumpled papers of what you call “trash poetry”
mixing up with wrappers of chocolates and coffee powder and your ***** laundry and ---
You always liked to curl up in your tiny bed, not minding its untidiness
because you never had the strength to fix it this morning.
I always wanted to tell you that
I should be the one to say sorry for not being there for you.
I’m sorry that the only thing I could give you is a call.
I’m sorry I couldn’t even open your windows and tell you that the moon is already gone, and the sun is already shining bright and the world is waiting for you.
You, little son of the sun, should not stay in the dark.
I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out of the dark.
But I wish I could tell you that you were made to outshine the moon and everything else.
You were made to turn night to day.

I have too many wishes, too many words I wish I could tell you
Like how it is not your fault
It was never your fault and never going to be your fault
That we are but a speck of dust, a mere human that destiny is not something we can overpower
Well, we might move it a little if we struggle a bit harder
But some circumstances can just happen out of nowhere.
I wish I was more talkative so I could’ve silenced the whispers
I wish my voice was enough to silence the whispers
I could’ve screamed to the top of my lungs or even higher
Just to save you from falling too deep and drowning under your covers.

But we are nothing but a moon apart, never meant for each other right from the start
Yet with this time I got I hope you’d let me stay and fight
To become stronger, to become better, not only to save myself but to save you from this dark night
For you, my mighty knight, is worth saving too.
No, you are not merely worth saving but worth loving, worth keeping, worthy of everything that this night is hiding
And you deserve that.
So with this time I got I hope you’d keep me inside your heart so you will float
And I could dive under your covers to save you
Or I could climb to your roof to cover you
Keep the craters of the moon from hitting you.
And not let the moon overshadow you until you learn to put her brightness to shame.
It's been a while! Since I'm a sucker for the moon, I made another one with it but this time, it's the antagonist of someone's life. This was inspired by Satellite II; I wanted to make a longer version of it but I ended up making  a different one.
The title is new, when I performed this as spoken poetry it didn't have a title yet. It's a play word of the Japanese word for help (tasukete) and moon (tsuki) which is what the poem is mostly about.

I tried to pour my heart out into it, talking about trying to save someone, when that someone is yourself.
Amanda Francis Dec 2018
I can save myself.
'salva te ipsa' marks my arm, a reclamation, declaration, that this body is mine!

I can love myself.
I can love myself so feircly that not even a thunderstorm dare rain on me.

I can fix my own ******* crown.
For it was my war-torn hands that placed it upon my head.

I can save myself, but for now, I'll tell the truth.
Saving myself means peace and contentment.

It does not mean having you.

Loving you is bittersweet, for this loneliness without you is all consuming.

Though you are unattainable.
You are the most beautiful start-lit sky.
Uncomparable, fleeting.
Amanda Francis Dec 2018
I can save myself.
'salva te ipsa' marks my arm, a reclamation, declaration, that this body is mine!

I can love myself.
I can love myself so feircly that not even a thunderstorm dare rain on me.

I can fix my own ******* crown.
For it was my war-torn haands that placed it upon my head.
Haley Nov 2018
I was having a conversation
With a friend
And she said
She hides her feelings
Around school
Around her family
Around her friends
And sometimes
From herself
I do the same thing
And that day
I realized
Us people that do that
We are usually the
People who
Help others
When others are down
Because that
That usually helps ourselves
But when people try to help us
What do we do?
We push them away
Because we don't like being the ones
Who need the help
Because to us
In our mind
That is admitting defeat
But in real life
It's actually us starting
To win
To win the battle
To win against the harsh feelings
And the harsh words
Our mind has gone to deal with
And through this though
I learned
Before you save someone else
Save yourself first.
Because YOU
Are what influence your feelings
About yourself
So when you save yourself
You are killing your
Thoughts that run through you
The thoughts that hurt you the most
People give up
Because to do this is such a long process
But you will get through it
I know you can.
Yesterday my best friend lost a close friend of hers. She was saying how she hides her feelings at school. I know I do this to but this just came into my mind.
Rachna Beegun May 2017
At the end of the day, all we have is who we are and what we have become. So, be your own hero because darling, in this cruel world, nobody can really understand you or stay with you. We only have  ourselves till the end of our existence, others are mere spectators of our life who renders our existence a bit more easy or difficult as the situation requires.
Just something that hits deep within everyone.... we all are the true heroes in our existence, other people just come and go as the situation demands
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