This. Morning. Brings me. Hope.
Hope. Comforts. My lost. Soul.
Soul. Welcomes. Angel’s. Breath.
Breath. Living. Gift from. Heaven.
Heaven. Smiling. Above. Me.
Me. Thankful. I have. Life.

In comfortable manipulation,
The awful painful truth hidden away.
Choosing the numbness of fabrication
O’er trauma in believing what they say.

In the morning my comfort comes from lies,
By nightfall pain comes from the deception.
The calm on which this trusting heart relies,
Crumbles now beneath this cracked reflection.

I yearn for comfort from the painful truth!
I shall tolerate no excuse to live!
Give me no more naïveté from youth!
I prefer the hurt honesty will give.

Painful truth is better than comfort’s lies.
This fact hurts more than I could realize.

Of course I love you, for how could I not?
The beautiful face, I never forgot.
Of course I love you, you are like my queen.
Perfect and graceful, like none I have seen.
Of course I love you, my heart has been bound.
I longed to kiss you, the day you were found.
Of course I love you, I can’t look away.
I dwell in my dreams, to see you all day.
Of course I love you, do you have a doubt?
You’re the precious one, I can’t live without.
Of course I love you, ‘twas love at first sight.
Isn’t it perfect, how it feels so right?

Memory. These memories are
Exhausting. Clawing, attacking
Me. Weary and hurt I fight them
Desperately. In self-defense
Bloodied. Battered by longing to
Forget. Flailing hands before my
Face. Their relentless assault, it’s
Vicious. I pray for mercy from
Memories. They take all of my
Strength. If I could defeat one I’d
Forget. Each and every one.

Surprisingly.
I am surprisingly surprised
About things already surmised.
This dullness
And sameness,
The monotonous feeling
Not a thing new revealing,
All the same trials,
In familiar styles.

Surprisingly.
I am surprisingly surprised
Though not one thing has been disguised.
Broken hope,
Such a dope,
I just wanted to believe,
This time I’d get my reprieve,
But I was shocked when
Life fooled me again.

Surprisingly.
I am surprisingly surprised
That I still have not realized,
I have earned
What I’ve learned,
While predictability
Is not such a tragedy,
I smile to myself.
Life repeats itself.

Where is beauty in perfection?
In flawlessly done artistry?
I raise powerful objection
To such dishonest sophistry.

Give me the honest blemishes,
And the scars of vitality.
Beauty is not found in wishes
Of objects of idolatry.

The beauty’s in the crooked smile
And in the hearts of brokenness.
There’s beauty in that distinct style
Of earnestly but mismatched dress.

Beautiful is not perfection.
Beauty is beauty in itself.
Mine is another’s rejection,
I see your beauty for myself.

Forever is the moment
The bedside clock strikes midnight
As the insomniac cries,
“How long will I stay awake?!”

Forever is the moment
Staring at the dead of night
Seeing the most starlit skies,
As our lasting Heaven’s sake.

Forever is the moment
Lonesome poets start to write
Words to memorialize
Constant and persistent ache.

Forever is the moment
When finally things feel right
And hopefulness fills the eyes,
And no hearts are left to break.

A moment passed, as it always seems to
With guilt washing over me like the shore,
Passed without me doing what I need to,
Bound in chains of shame I failed once more.

For what was I bequeathed this gift of time
If not to use passing moments for praise?
Weary, I let passivity be my crime.
These wasted moments lead to wasted days.

The morning light is heavy with regret,
No slumber enough for this restless soul.
I laid down with my dreams serene, and yet,
Overnight my guilt turned soul black as coal.

Saying “I love you” ere I close my eyes,
Means more to me than I could realize.

A league of angels stop and stare
Ascending their ladder up to Heaven,
Wond’ring why God is so unfair,
That there’s no beauty like you in Heaven.

The envy of God’s retinue
Plead for relief from their bond to Heaven,
For all the angels would choose to
Be mortal near you rather than Heaven.

Angels standing at God’s right hand
Plot their escape from service in Heaven,
And beg to be at your command
To worship beauty not found in Heaven.

The angels’ love is infinite
Eternally around them in Heaven,
But even that love they’d forfeit
For a love like yours not found in Heaven.

Every angel would fall from grace,
And vow never to return to Heaven,
If given lips to kiss your face,
Because there’s no joy like that in Heaven.

Dear sunrise, don’t fail to wake me.
Dear soul, don’t let Heaven take me.
I cannot miss this chance to rise,
To see the sparkle in your eyes.

Dear dreams, don’t preoccupy me.
Dear slumber, don’t lullaby me.
I cannot face this daily trial,
Without the beauty in your smile.

Dear eyesight, don’t fail to return.
Dear nightmares, don’t be my concern.
I cannot feel the Earth’s pleasance,
Without starting in your presence.

Dear morning, don’t fail to arrive.
Dear God, don’t forget I’m alive.
I cannot face this day anew,
Without a day that faces you.

She breaks her own spirit from misplaced shame,
Afraid the world will know how she’s failing,
She never looks past the mirror for blame,
But wears a smile to hide that she’s ailing.

She guilts herself into constant giving,
But knows she needs to be taken care of,
Yet of that need she is unforgiving,
And of the fact that she’s not yet in love.

She’s constantly spinning out of control,
While frustrated she feels constantly stuck,
Lesser folks around her seem to live whole,
But asking for help makes her terror-struck.

Friends keep saying that she deserves better,
If only her neuroses would let her.

The sensation of being touched by eyes,
More sensual than any finger’s touch,
With intense softness that can paralyze,
Overwhelmed by feeling that means so much.

Your mystical gaze safely holds my heart,
Your stare is more gentle than velvet hands,
Even in photographs when we’re apart,
I’m moved by touch my soul never withstands.

If only you looked at me endlessly,
In my dreams I’m nothing but a mirror,
That’s never so blessed as to simply be,
To receive your stare when you come nearer.

Your eyes are like fire that doesn’t consume,
But I melt in their radiant presence,
Seducing me like the perfect perfume,
To be touched by eyes is feeling’s essence.

These scars,
Not a single one of them hurts.
Wounded,
Yes once, but the numbness reverts.

These scars,
I can touch them to remind me.
Wounded,
Yes once, but now it’s behind me.

These scars,
Disfigured skin says now I’m healed.
Wounded,
Yes once, that openness now sealed.

These scars,
Painful though what was hurt’s not there.
Wounded,
Yes once, its permanence laid bare.

She lies there staring up at me
And I wonder whether my eyes
Know how lucky they are to see
An actual blessing from God.

She lies there staring up at me
And I wonder whether my heart
Knows that it’s heartbeat is precious
Dependent on this love I feel.

She lies there staring up at me
And I wonder whether her smile
Knows how much energy it gives
And yet I cannot look away.

She lies there staring up at me
And I wonder if her body
Knows the need my body feels
To be one with hers, head to toe.

She lies there staring up at me
And I wonder whether her soul
Knows how much I’m in love with her
Just lying there, staring at me.

This isolated claustrophobia,
Inside, humans packed shoulder to shoulder,
In collective agoraphobia,
Neighbors bashfully quiet and colder.

This space among the masses I travel,
And thank goodness I’m surrounded by clouds.
Up here I can let my thoughts unravel,
Amidst the solitude of faceless crowds.

Above the clouds where daydreams come alive,
I have the space to write without judgment.
Towards Heaven I know my soul can survive,
Dancing in the clouds I see your movement.

Up in the air I’ve left the Earth behind,
With other aimless souls passing the time.
Seems traveling by plane is where I find
The inspiration for the perfect rhyme.

My imagination is so feeble,
For no matter how hard I try,
My image of how beautiful you are
Is nothing like reality.

My best dreams are so ineffectual.
For no matter how lucidly,
My clearest dreams of you and your beauty,
Are dull compared to the real you.

My most eloquent words lose their meaning,
For no matter what words I choose,
My language too simple and imprecise
For the indescribable you.

Between last night and this morning,
Between the full moon and sunrise,
When dark descended like a sheet,
And heavy lids covered my eyes,

The stars emerged and receded,
Nocturnal hours ticked away,
A carpet of frost was laid down,
There between last night and today.

Ere dawn blackness interceded,
Taunting me, “Where is your light now?”
Yesterday had been locked away,
And I must start again somehow.

The nightfall came to curse the past,
I embraced it to block the shame,
Because soon the sun will come up,
And I will never be the same.

Between intention and action,
That gap is filled with processes.
Mental. Emotional. Unknown.
What penetrates those recesses?

Between intention and action,
What moves across that connection?
Feeling. Need. Pain. Inertia. Fear.
What motivates that direction?

Between intention and action,
There is the indispensable.
Devotion. Love. Strength. Soulfulness.
Are our lives comprehensible?

Between intention and action,
Do we call on our sense of awe?
Pathos. Concentration. Wonder.
That’s where we enter kavanah.

This love is not the one you’re haunted by.
You are not subject to demons’ torment.
That scar is not enough to terrify.
That ghost of hurt is not malevolent.

Not everyone you see will wear a mask,
Nor every feeling from some witch’s spell.
No monster gives you poison when you ask,
Nor is your tale a ghost story to tell.

Your life is more than just a vampire’s meal.
You might find peace below the fullest moon.
Tonight for once release the fear you feel.
Redemption from your fear is coming soon.

Though heartbreak is your scariest thing yet,
To miss new love’s a scarier regret.

What could compare to that first kiss?
To the expectation of bliss?
Testing the softness of her lips,
Awkwardly touching noses’ tips.
As her pink lips open a touch,
As you slow from pressing too much.
The first time that she tilts her head,
You touch her cheek with words unsaid.
The first time you slide down her chin,
And she lets your upper lip in.
The dream you had seen in her smile,
Is there for you to stay a while.
You taste her and smell her perfume,
With feeling too much to consume.
Sugar has never been so sweet,
As when your tongues finally meet.
You don’t need to open your eyes,
Each movement’s a perfect surprise.
Tongue and lips touch delicately,
With powerful intensity.
Love at first sight waited for this.
Nothing compares to your first kiss.

Did you know when you posed for that photo
That it would represent my sincerest dreams?
Did you know, posing, letting yourself go
That you would represent all of love's themes?

There's a picture I can't look away from
With simplicity of your innocence.
There's a picture of what love can become
With simplicity, strength and elegance.

Your lines and curves and perfection of shape
Transport my soul and take hold of my gaze.
Your lines of your chest o'er shoulder and nape
Transport my soul to see beauty and praise.

You are the picture I paint in my head
Of beauty that only exists in thought.
You are the picture I dream of in bed.
Of beauty that I have forever thought.

When the clouds part just a sliver
And the sun is like an echo,
O’er the Earth with light to give her,
To make a ray of sunlight glow.

Angels pass upon the sunbeam,
They carry light from God above,
Our so one ray of light would seem.
With sky awash in aural love.

A point of light from overhead
Expands around us from the gray,
Like a halo upon our head
Adorning us on our dark day.

To see Heaven illuminate,
When all the light has been obscured,
Reminds us that it’s not too late.
The world is sick but can be cured.

Why even one?
Why should even one die?
Why should even one die from hate?

Life is too short.
Life is too short to die unnaturally.
Life is too short to die unnaturally from hate.

Why doesn’t man learn?
Why doesn’t man learn not to ****?
Why doesn’t man learn not to **** for hate?

What’s God’s purpose?
What’s God’s purpose for making man die?
What’s God’s purpose for making man die from hate?

Why sacrifice?
Why sacrifice six million?
Why sacrifice six million and eleven more?

God made man.
God made man hate.
God made man hate his distance from Him.

God cries out.
God cries out for our response.
God cries out for our response to hate.

God is looking.
God is looking for man.
God is looking for man to return.
God is looking for man to return to Holiness.

She’s so real it doesn’t matter.
So real I can imagine her.
When my heart fails and eyes are weak,
She’s Monday morning to my week.

Her beauty is springtime’s envy.
Her beauty is my energy.
Awake or in my dreams I seek,
I need her smile to start my week.

I close my eyes to watch it grow,
Her beauty’s everywhere I go.
Like sunlight o’er horizon’s peak,
She is the sunshine of my week.

I see her now and evermore,
On Mondays though I need her more.
When missing her makes things look bleak,
I think of her to start my week.

I write about beauty thinking of you,
And the awe in my soul from what you do.
I write about dreams that you made come true.
Words are mine but inspiration is you.

I write about blue skies thinking of you,
And miracles based on things that you do.
Love is a fantasy that you made true.
My poetry is inspired by you.

I write about hopes thinking of you,
And seeing God’s hand in all that you do.
Lies I believed you made no longer true.
Art that I see is inspired by you.

I heard wondrous words coming from you,
And watched all the new things you liked to do.
You made my tears when you swore it was true—
It was I who was inspiring you.

Love is never an accident.
Whether it be love at first sight,
Or whether it’s cause to lament.
If you fall in love it was right.

Each time we love we were meant to.
Whether it comes after a chase,
Or regret of the depths sent to.
To feel love is an act of grace.

The feeling of love never lies.
Whether you love somebody wrong,
Or someone you idealize.
Love and truth together belong.

Love is never an accident.
Whether it makes you feel guilty,
It’s always a gift Heaven sent.
Love is absolute purity.

It doesn’t have to hurt any longer.
Believing love is worth it is a choice.
Love can break spirits but hearts are stronger.
Your need for love is speaking, hear its voice.

To be in love is to tear down your walls.
You’re defenseless but don’t have to be hurt.
Don’t let pain chase love away when it calls.
Your heart and soul weren’t made to be inert.

Not everyone who says “I love you” leaves.
There’s someone who’ll do everything to stay.
Though right now it’s not what your mind believes,
You heart will die if you chase love away.

Love seems to break our hearts beyond repair.
Yet love has kept the human race alive.
If we weren’t meant to love it wouldn’t be there.
So, love! I promise you you will survive.

Those green pastures that go on forever,
Seemingly endless space for life to grow,
Expansive home for life howsoever,
Every variety that God could know.

To lie in company of blades of grass,
Cool and light like the clouds above my head,
Sun from horizon to horizon pass,
Asleep in this green pasture’s sacred bed.

No sense of time as now my senses dull,
I barely notice a faint and distant clap,
I dream a dream that all the clouds are full,
As stinging raindrops wake me from my nap.

The sun has gone but lightning lights the sky,
But even soaked in mud I feel at peace,
With body wet but soul that’s safe and dry,
One cannot live in fear of God’s caprice.

This green pasture that goes on without end,
Where Heaven plays and life has no defense,
I’ll live in faith and to God’s will I’ll bend,
At peace exposed to Heaven’s providence.

I prefer the gray.
I don’t want to choose between dark and light.
I like it that way.
No one can tell me if I feel alright.

I prefer the gray.
It can be whatever I want it to.
I like it that way.
Why pick joy or pain when both can be true?

I prefer the gray.
An aching heart can have a smiling face.
I like it that way.
Why must my emotions have their own place?

I prefer the gray.
What you think I mean is for me to know.
I like it that way.
When the words confound you just let them go.

The girls never loved me.
Never when I was young.
Never when it mattered.
Not one tried to hug me.
I still feel how that stung.
Fixing what was shattered.

The girls never loved me.
I wrote poems each day.
I placed it in her hand.
Not one wrote back to me.
They just walked away.
It never worked as planned.

The girls never loved me.
Though they admired my mind.
But just to help with school.
But to really love me?
They may have been too kind.
I just was not too cool.

The girls never loved me.
But somehow I survived.
I made the uphill climb.
Someday they would love me.
Their needs had not arrived.
I was ahead of time.

These poems come from dreams,
From places where there are no rules,
No conventions,
Where there is more rhyme than reason.

These poems come from dreams,
From random scattered images,
No connections,
Where things just allude to what’s real.

These poems come from dreams,
From a way to communicate,
No clarity,
Where feelings overtake the mind.

These poems come from dreams,
From a desperate need to be heard,
No filtering,
Where raw emotions author words.

The first time you said “I love you,”
I felt my soul floating away.
I’d been waiting for it, it’s true,
But words I never thought you’d say.

Life changed when you said, “I love you.”
I had lost feeling in my heart.
Your words made everything feel new,
So new I don’t know where to start.

You surprised me with “I love you.”
Needing to hear it so badly,
I wasn’t sure just what to do,
Knowing I love you, too, madly.

The moment you said “I love you,”
I felt that Heaven was my own.
My love, the one thing that I knew
Was that I’d love the next unknown.

I could have been more careful than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or let my heart be broken,
Enough to let you in there,
Suffocating me, lifeless,
But beating for you so that you could breathe.

I could have been more selfish than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or break pieces off of me,
Breaking them off one by one,
Till I was a shell, shattered,
But able to put you back together.

I could have been more angry than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or hold you so innocent,
As innocent as a child,
Withholding judgment, calmly,
But letting you turn fury back on me.

I could have been more knowing than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or confront my need to give,
Giving so you would love me,
Till I left my tank, empty,
But looking back I learned what I should be.

I wish that all mirrors could be windows,
Having had quite enough introspection.
I want to live in the world the world knows,
The world that is more than my reflection.

Trapped behind walls seeing nothing but me,
These mirrors have cost me my perspective.
If I’m all there is, who am I to be?
Solipsism is no man’s objective.

I peer through the glass right back into my face.
I don’t even know if I’m seen behind.
Windows are mirrors to the human race,
But the reflection in mine makes me blind.

I wish that all mirrors could be windows,
But scared the world won’t like what I expose.

Weathered and ragged and flaking away,
Ageless, majestic, for day after day,
Haven for robins and the honeybee,
This is the bark of an old hollow tree.

A suit of cracked armor letting rain in,
Lifeless and cold, hardened like calloused skin,
Home and shelter where squirrels can flee,
This is the bark of an old hollow tree.

Vestigial barrier to bygone rings,
Same as it’s been, now for so many springs,
All that is left of its great pedigree,
This is the bark of an old hollow tree.

A trunk withered down and dead from inside,
That empty space, where owls now reside,
Inside those walls there’s still reason to be,
This is the bark of an old hollow tree.

Faith is what holds broken shards together.
Pieces left over of something shattered.
Faith sweeps them, delicate like a feather,
From the mess into which they’ve been scattered.

Faith takes the brokenness and makes it whole.
Jagged pieces must be handled with care.
Faith softens them with power to console.
They will rebuild with belief they’re all there.

Faith is the power to compel healing.
It is the life force of recovery.
Faith is glue between cracks that need sealing.
Knowing the broken will heal is the key.

Faith broken hopes come back stronger redeems,
Like a mirror whose scratches disappear.
Faith sculpts new life out of broken down dreams,
As if out of sand new glass could appear.

Faith takes the chaos of a broken soul,
Faith resurrects it if given control.

Your kisses are like snowflakes
Melting on my tongue
No two alike.

Your embrace is like the wind
It’s all around me
Felt all over.

Your touch is like the sunlight
I know it’s touched me
When I feel warmth.

Your eyes are perfect windows
They show what’s inside
And reflect me.

Your love is vast as the sky
Everywhere I go
It shelters me.

The enduring ephemerality,
Strung together moments of blissfulness,
Each fleeting in its temporality,
But feeling infinite in wistfulness.

The hands of time spin circles without end,
While memories live in moments discrete.
Some moments blur to a nondescript end,
Moments with you time will never defeat.

Events live so long as not forgotten,
Life’s meaning breaks time’s continuity.
With each breath a new time is begotten,
So time gone lives in perpetuity.

When timeless blissfulness is in the past,
The paradox of time still makes it last.

I sleep tonight anxious to rise,
And kiss your lips as sweet as wine,
So I awaken to surprise,
The woman lying there is mine.

My dreams no match for when I rise,
Drunk on her love like sweetest wine,
That she loves me is my surprise,
I love her and her love is mine.

The sun could someday fail to rise,
But still I would drink of her wine,
A sunless day is no surprise,
For my light is this love of mine.

Her touch is all I need to rise,
She’s rarer than the finest wine,
When our flesh meets to my surprise,
She says to me, “You, too, are mine.”

Sweet angel, tell me everything.
I’m not afraid of anything.
Let your worst troubles speak aloud.
You won’t transform to a dark cloud.

Sweet angel, I’ve made space for you,
A safe place where you can be true.
My love has ears for what you say.
Your troubles won’t scare me away.

Sweet angel, we’re beyond compare,
But we’re more than a love affair.
The two of us want something real.
Stressful days are part of the deal.

Sweet angel, we’ve laughs and kissing.
There’s no fear our joy’s gone missing.
It doesn’t matter what you share;
It’s sharing that proves love is there.

Sweet angel, my love ain’t too proud.
A little sadness is allowed.
Don’t let your down times change to fear.
When those times come I will be here.

Insecurity unnerving.
Innate need to feel deserving.
There’s so much I aspire to be.
But no success has been for me.

Capturing all the love that’s near,
While to be unloved is my fear.
Wishing this thought could be unlearned--
Feeling that love has been unearned.

Sometimes I wish I could just live,
Without this tired narrative.
That my ambition for success,
Based not on fear I’d be loved less.

Who needs to stand out from the crowd
Just to make the pretty girls proud?
Nothing I’ve done has been my own.
I’ve just been scared to be alone.

I’ve done so little just for me.
And now I see the irony.
At last admired and adored,
For motivations I abhorred.

What choice have I?
Presented with my dreams in waking light.
What hope have I?
I could not resist you with all my might.

What choice have I?
When looking at your face makes me crumble?
What hope have I?
In your stare I forget to be humble.

What choice have I?
When the years denied me beauty like this?
What hope have I?
When I’d given up on the perfect kiss?

What choice have I?
You’re fire and light of the brightest star.
What hope have I?
I can’t believe just how gorgeous you are.

Sunlight shining, rested soul arisen,
Knowing there will be one more day given,
A day, an hour, with love every minute,
There until nightfall, anxiously in it.

Sunlight shining, eyes adjust to the day,
Knowing there will be light showing the way,
Light, love and learning to nourish my soul,
There until nightfall, my faith in control.

Sunlight shining, my best dreams seem less real,
Knowing there will be soft kisses to feel,
Kisses from lips, red with color of hope,
There until nightfall, my kaleidoscope.

Sunlight shining, and days past now feel new,
Knowing there will be renewal with you,
Renewed with life your love is adorning,
There until nightfall, but now good morning.