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I can't believe how willing you are to hurt me
Far more than any enemy in recent memory
It makes sense I guess, I've told you exactly where to attack me
Like where exactly the armor doesn't protect the body
The parts fragile and vulnerable from prior injury
Every single insecurity
Told you, embarrassingly, what I did and still do find scary
Introduced to you the shattered and fractured pieces of me that I keep tucked away for their own safety
Trusted you with parts of me that are barley held together from the last tragedy
Showed you then warned you of the socially unacceptable parts of my personality
Recalled to you the story of my journey from being bullied to becoming the bully
And how I didn't end up liking either of those me's particularly
I watched you with my son and observed how quickly he accepted you and saw you as family
Didn't hesitate to call you Mommy, it came to him then through him naturally
And I cherish that memory because I haven't been allotted many tears that fall happy
I could go on forever with the good, the bad and the ugly
But basically
I handed you a map of how to destroy me completely if need be
Then literally used the last trace of trust I had left on you not using it against me
And well,
It's with a heavy heart I present to you where that's gotten me

selina Apr 3
i didn't know how angry
a scar could be until i saw
one on myself it was something
like a pocket-sized chilean coast
dragged across my knee disrupting  
and hills still dispersing as an acl
torn but unseen like how the many
excerpts of dreams were wiped clean
the anger is always ephemeral but
it always comes back whenever
i want to feel breeze in hair perhaps
i just miss the delaware river scene
and a long ago when my pencils
moved too quickly for my thoughts
yes indeed maybe i just miss loving
the journey not for the end like the
part where i did not know anything yet
still believed that it was all for the better
tore my acl at college last october, and everything feels like it's been downhill since
neth jones Aug 2023
Four Crows fly over
the rear gunner ***** twice as hard
            to keep his mates
Gaps in his Wings
   from history with a Predator

Clammy weather
                 grey summer rainfall
summer 23

i know this has been set in the stone of your mind,
but consider otherwise,
for just one moment,
that this could be the most harm you've ever experienced,
and it just may not be your friend at all
but it's so hard. i know.
Anais Vionet Aug 2022
Oh, shrill lark, just breathe. You rage too well.
Seek no comfort in wretchedness.

Renounce the gossamer moon, curse starlight
with a breathless voice - if you must - but let love be.

As the saddest tale fades after telling,
undistinguishable kisses fade like dewdrops.

Seasons alter, you will love again and love better
laughing unabashed, at the memory of this gentle injury.
BLT Marriam Webster word of the day challenge: Unabashed: undisguised and unapologetic.
Jamesb Oct 2021
This heart will last me a lifetime
If only because when it fails,
I fail,
But this heart, barely half way through its span is already much damaged,
For whilst the attack that did not claim me
Left no visible disease
The slings and arrows of emotional assaults, betrayal
And cunning, low and savage attack
Have left an invisible mark,

Every selfish unwarranted ******
Leaves a hole which heals slowly,
Oozing my life's essence all the while
Until the damage is patched by a layer of hard scabrous tissue,
A crude patch to mend a hole
Yet limiting the function once there found,
A tiny or not so small area which is not quite the same
And cannot fully carry its load any more,
A small damaged piece of me,
That fails

One such part? Hardly worth the notice and
Already as always forgiven,
But it is not just the one small part is it?
It's a fine network of such holes with the occasional larger ****
Where the stab was sawn and worked and
Widened with savage glee
Yet still healed or healing and still already
And as always forgiven                                                         ­                         
But the whole of me that part not stiffened and dead
Is smaller now

That shrinkage is not visible to the outside world
Nor will it be yet the shrinkage of useable
Worthwhile working tissue
Leads only one way and at this ever increasing rate
Of damage the end is coming close,
But who cares?
Well no one it appears
Because the attacks and the wounds are neither slower
Nor stopped,
So soon instead it seems
I will,
My heart will

Just a reflection on the state of me vs the people I interact with and which either are ignorant of or do know, and those most precious to me fall here, but carry on regardless
Ellis Reyes Sep 2021
Blinding flash
Eardrums burst
Blood, so much blood
Is it mine?
My eyes!

Snipping ripping
Scissors and hands tear away at my clothes
Water or something splashes
Burning everywhere
The smell...
**** and fire and burned meat
Is this what death smells like?

No carried
On a litter
Now flying
Something jabbed...

Far away

Wheels rolling
Machine sounds

Here, Now
Bright lights
Searing pain
Masked faces
Muffled voices
IV bags
Machine sounds
No answers

Where's my leg?
Jaicob Apr 2021
Drown me in ink.
I don't want to see anything.
I want to be choked out
On the one thing that gives life meaning.

Slit my wrists with paper.
I don't want to live anymore.
I want to bleed crimson onto the page
And give meaning to the words I write.
C F Tinney Nov 2020
The day flows on
even in the most basic ways
when we have the best of our days
there is still the pain

It radiates and rises from the pores
when we are uninjured
but who among us is ever truly

At my best I rise and fall
in various states of anger

I cannot recall the last peaceful day
a day without pain
be it the pain of the mind
or the ache of the body
the first because of the latter

Yet it doesn’t seem to matter
what is done
or undone
it remains and I remain
two enemies trapped together
my Pain and I
like two bitter foes who’ve been at struggle
so long
they couldn’t understand a day alone
without the other
poem speaks for itself
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