"I see." "Said the blind man to his deaf wife, sitting at a round table, trying to find a corner." -Frustrating words from my first girlfriend -------------------------------------------------------
It's funny how as I age the layers of irony get wiped away while building up again like waves. Stability I crave seems at odds with cosmic horror I face. Weeping with a whole soul or is it laughter? In the intensity "I" tend towards confusion. I mention this to my mother and she knows not of ambiguous sounds. The fusion of emotion suffering in our translation. Do we differ or are we lost; Embracing simulacra while our true selves wander alone? Wondering.
The child peeks past a mask or two and gets spooked. Out of love I withdraw inside nativity. I am here with you.
I am endless infinite possibility, a Boltzmann brain fluctuated from the furious buzzing entropy thrilling the scattered melted formless universe, collapsed into the thin singularity string of an impossible human being. The world is testament to my stunning genius a grand hallucination of my own creation and I am my own invention.
anything is possible. i don't mean this in a good way.
will you look at me while i'm talking? not like that. i know you are. i want you to see me. i want you to keep up.
i could go completely ******* crazy. i could never speak to any of my friends ever again. i could join a fundamentalist christian cult. i could drop out of college. i could look into the mirror and see my own eyes reflected back to me, or gouge them out to be free of the burden. i could do anything, but it's all a matter of actualization.
you have to know what you're looking for before you go out to find it. the story the eyes try to sell you is always leaving something out. you want this to be easy. you want the mirror to have a purpose. don't we all? you want to know what you want, but we are all stumbling blindly through this desert. alone despite being inches from one another. i'll try not to get too cocky, because the only difference between you and me is concept, language; life is a whole other beast to cage.
don't get too hung up on definitions. definitions are for law. this is poetry. this is me building a mirror just to break it. it's funny, how that always turns out. realized desires are boring. we get what we want and we break it. every mirror shatters in the end and we all die a solipsist, wanting and narcissistic.
In a universe where nothing could be everything and everything could be nothing I wake up blinded by the sun and my weak eyes struggle to conform but her power desires me
In a universe where silence can ring ears and actual sirens can calm them My engine rustles with promise as I drive down the unpaved road I am cement, and spill out of my windows into the potholes as I pass Shadows of trees fold over behind me as outlines of roofs emerge one day I’ll drive and count them all
In a universe where we worship time but it repays by pilfering our youth I make out silhouettes through the strands of my ***** hair Your tie taunts me, perched confidently on the base of your neck My fears in the flesh, enveloped in dark eyes and strong posture one day I’ll face him eye to eye
In a universe where we long for love but company deludes us I eat dinner alone at a table for six and stare longingly through one of my three big windows My mom probably called but my phone’s been on silent one day I’ll get free time and call her back
In a universe where nothing could be everything and everything could be nothing My pillow steals my thoughts for the closing hours of the night and I ponder on how much of me it’ll return when I wake up in the morning
Solipsism (10.16.2020) —adrianatamara
Poetic interpretation of the views of George Berkeley intertwined with mentions of other philosophers such as Hume.
You're ugly from an angle You don't reflect enough Your choices are so loud Yet they still lack any sound I'm not so Ptolemaic You're not a Galilean I'm not at all judgmental I am honest. Maybe humble You're weak below the knees You're smug and overweight You don't respect advice based on the mouth from which it came I'm walking alongside you I choose to be so close It might be most absurd but know I love you more than most