By the bus stop
By the lake
By the curb beside my leg
In the sun
Or in the rain
In the cold
I'm shivering in
Wait wait wait wait
Waiting for the falling rain
In a drought has never been
I am atoning for my sin
Wait wait wait wait
Waiting for the flowers to bloom
In a winter storm has never been
I am barely holding it in
Wait wait wait wait
For the love of god
My soul to take
I cannot run from my fate
If it is to waste away while I wait

If words were leaves
Rustling in the breeze
Whispering with ease
Thoughts and feelings
I will then say
There will never be enough leaves
On any tree
To express me
No words would be able to break free
To get to you from me.

You won't run,
But you can't promise to stay,
We won't know if this feeling will fade away,
We spoke and we lay,
In the darkness of the day,
Arms and legs tangled,
As time passes away.

Every once I'm happy,
Twice I'm sad
Ice slides down my back
Don't do something you'd regret
My hands tremble
From the weight of my life
I am caught in my sentiment

Twice unhappy
Joy come back to me
Fly free on high winds
The damp, dark earth beckons
I push myself off the floor
Hark the shadows that awaken
Gone is my ephemeral sentiment

Today I turn 20
But my heart feels 80
With a face maybe 18
My mind runs on 90

I need but 3 seconds to cry
2 hours to stop
2 minutes to write
Maybe a lifetime to forget

And 20 seconds later...
The memories come flooding back.

Should I let the current pull me away from land?

Breakups are like being uprooted from your home,
Pulled away from the familiar
Things you're comfortable with and things you've known
Finding yourself in the weirdest situations
Not quite comfortable in your skin

I've lost the boy who sang to me
I've lost what I thought was meant to be
I can no longer look at this place without remembering the times we had
A sin I indulge in when I'm feeling sad
I'm lost and I'm not sure if I can be found
I hope he sees this but I hope he's bound
I can't make up my mind
The words choke me up
I drown

This is not a poem
This is not a song
I can't think of either
Without my smile going down

This is not a sonnet
This is not a love song
Those were what we exchanged
But you've buried me down
Locked me up
Tied me down
I hope you're happy
I hope you won't frown
I hope you know I love you
I think you should know
Even now.

I hope you see this
But then I hope you don't
I hope you've found someone
But I hope you don't

This is not a poem
This cannot be my song
I cannot claim to keep
What was so fleeting
So transient I tripped

Curled into a ball she sits,
Too shocked for a tear to leak,
Her heart a stone
Dragging her down
To a place of forever frowns
Rough and tumble
Lay her down
Wouldn't you lift her frown?
Red blood now turned dark brown
She may never turn back around
Hearts so heavy never make a sound
As she slowly sinks to the ground
Waiting for her love,
Waiting to be found.

beautiful mix of words
from the songs that call
to my soul
out on the landing
that friend i forgot to send home
taught me how
i could save a life
but it was too late to apologize
cold and ashamed,
i lay naked on the floor
i was calling you at 3 a.m.
i just wanted to hear your voice
to tell you that
when i'm gone you should carry on
when i cried you wiped away all of my tears
i'll never be able to thank you enough
and i will never surrender

a carp said to a guppy
why are you so grumpy
and the guppy replied
sometimes feelings are hard
Blake was right.
hell in heaven's despair,
and heaven in hell's despite alright.

ah, said the carp.
whether it is they who should be considerate,
or you?
which do you think is better of the two?
let it go and you'll feel more at ease.
one can never do as they please.

with that parting sentence,
down went the guppy,
in darkness, surprise and fear
without a scream no one would hear
into the carp.

Finally, thought the carp,
The Guppy shut up.

The crinkle in your eyes
Was made to never die
I can see hope reflected in them
When side by side we lie

The greatest love
Could also be the greatest hate
No one but us can dictate
Both our fates

So side by side we lay
As night turned into day
And the silence faded away

I can hear the echoes of the tunes
You sang on the first of nights
I hummed along
And before long
The tune made a home
In my head
You sang those tunes
As the strings were strummed
The crowd swooned
Please, sing me a tune.

Hope is like a church bell ringing,
The peace that calms a childling,
Bringing everyone's soul up-lifting,
Whenever troubles come a-knocking.

When your lips touch mine
When our bodies intertwine
I can't think straight
You're like a hook and bait

Arms and legs and hair
Minds in a mess
Limbs entangled
But we just don't care

When we get this way
I can't turn away
So I can't be this way
Don't make me sway

We both know the ending
We discussed, saw it coming
There's no use running
The tears are plenty blinding

sometimes time stops
everyone freezes, expressions still
friendships hit a stalemate
one step forward or one step back?
no one wants to commit what they cannot take back

sitting on the fence
is the new way to make friends
no one wants to be bad
but no one stands up for good
everybody just wants to be a piece of the neighborhood

you can't always win
you won't always lose
but no one wants their neck in the social noose
its the art of chasing a wild goose
but you will never win if you're afraid to lose

people speak but they don't talk
i love the cold weather; oh yes talk light as a feather
on the inside they cut and grieve
but no one wears their heart on their sleeve
everyone judges, everyone leaves

you think you know but you don't
you think you've tried but in fact you won't
you think you're winning but you're not
you think you're free but you're a dead knot
you think you're getting by, but really, it's a lie.

all that glitters may not be gold
all that shines may not be mine
all that sparkles may still die
all that tempts may still wither with time.

you don't have to try so hard
I can still understand your heart
you only need to open up
i promise i won't cut you up
i will be there till the end
i will walk with you, just because, my friend.

Must you go - can't you stay?
And never look back - didn't you say?
Rosy and bright - the future looked that night,
Keys clanging in your pocket as we walked on by
X’s and O’s left behind

I still have your picture
It sits in my wallet
I don't quite know what for
When you've been moving on

I still kept our picture
We were all smiles then
Once in a while I'll take a peek
As if it were playing hide-and-seek

I look out for your pictures
It's pathetic and I know
You're trying to move on
Still some part of me hopes you won't forget
I am still here; I want to be your friend

should he love you,
he will not leave.
like the spring breeze,
intertwining with leaves in trees,
your hearts are wound.

should she love you,
she will not leave.
as sure as the waves crash to shore,
as the moonlight reflects the water's ocher,
she will be there for sure.

lovers together are stronger
than the gust that separates
        the leaves from trees,
than the waves that crashes
        on the sands of time,
even though promises lie broken
their hearts still awaken
when their other halves are near

Sometimes it starts
It's faint, but quaint,
Whispering across your skin
A breath, the fog
There's no need to talk
Silence is all you need
In your conflicting state of mind.

You sit, it speaks
Volumes to me
Words can't quite convey
Your thoughts, your feelings,
The rushes of contrary
Swirling in your contradicting states of mind

You hesitate, and take a little light step
Making a mockery of grace
But then you taste the rain in the air
You decide that life's never fair
Pretty or just, both seem to rust
Leaving you with the unrestful state of mind.

Hello my old friend
It's been sometime since we spent
Time and space together
Feeling as light as a feather

Did you feel the weight of today's weather?
I couldn't help but take a breather
It's been sometime since we spent
A nice day cuddling together

When you call on me now
You're either drunk or asunder
I can't decide if I should feel like cheap leather
Part of something old, becoming a bother

Why do this now?
Does it make you feel better?
I hope it does,
So it makes one of us.

Sometimes I try to sleep
It's a small step I take to keep
All the noise in head

Sometimes I struggle to breathe
Another step everyday
To keep the rhythm in my head

There are times I fight to keep
The white noise ringing in my vision
White lights blaring in my eye

In these times I try to stop
I fight to think, lock my feet, grit my teeth
If I fail I sink, I crash and burn

Times like these are trials I'll keep
In my pocket, a silent raging noise
I won't forget, I won't regret.

Sometimes you don't have to speak
I can understand without a squeak
When we lay side by side
Your breath in time with mine
When we go out together
And see something queer
We only have to swap looks with each other
So don't say you're okay
When I know you're angry
Don't be afraid to make me cry
I'm more afraid of times
When our hearts don’t align

Tomorrow is another day
But yesterday is still today
What's gone is lost and will never come back
The lessons learnt always make me squirm with hurt
But I'll get stronger each time
So turn around and walk away

before you think of a solution,
you need to regard the problem.
but where there is a problem,
there will always be a solution waiting to be found.
easy way or hard way,
it will come one day.
before your patience starts to fade away,
don’t let your mind stray.

Would you feel it if I shattered -
Hold me in pieces like I mattered?
If I told you I needed more than the moon
Would it hurt to pay attention?

Singing me sweet nothings
I can hear you, feel your breath on my skin.
If your words were worth its weight,
I swear; I wouldn't need the moon again.

But if, sweet, terrible, tantalisingly soft-
If,
This if,
Makes all the difference.

You act like everything's okay,
So I shall treat you that way,
Until the day you decide,
That you don't want to stay away.

It's alright for things to be this way,
You're not ready yet
I won't try to make you sway.


Even if I want to -
I can't make you stay.

Sometimes I stop and think
You're so young, so full of joy
What would you know about
The bitterness of this life

So carefree you
Sway as you walk
Never doubting the dark corners
Barreling your way through

Then I stop and think
Are we meant for each other
Or will we break together?
Floating around in pieces?

What would you know of hate?
You've barely learnt to love
Who's to say your patience won't wane
When the moon shrinks smaller?

A lone flower stays
Where the broken vase lays
Busking in the sun's dying rays.
Will it thrive or will it die?
The leaves look to the light
Petals gently curling in sight

As the sun sets
There is no room left for regret
As with all that's said and done
It is not uncertain
It cannot be undone
Don't look back and carry on.

As the flower dies,  
The stars watch the moon rise.

Sometimes.
No, almost all the time,
I think I,
When I,
Look at you hard enough,
It's almost as if you're real,
Bright, like starlight,
Shining diamond in the rough,
I see you still with my eyes shut tight.

Bright, too bright,
Painful to look at.
You scare me like that,
Yet I'm still drawn to you,
It is a fact.

Bright, too bright,
I will hide from your light.

Whenever you smile at me,
I try...
I try not to smile to myself
But my lips betray me
They move slowly over time
Corners turn upwards and curved line

When your eyes crinkle at the corners
I try...
I try not to notice
How long your lashes are
Or how your eyes reflect the light

When you laugh and double over
I try...
I try not to wonder
What made you laugh so hard
Or why I'm not laughing even harder

I try...
I try so hard to pretend not to care
When in fact I do, I really, really do
And all I need is for you
To try to notice that I need you.

We could've met on a side walk
Or bumped in a corridor
Either way we would've crossed
Even if you're away, away, away,
The memories we had are here to stay

You jumped in with both eyes closed
Never did you think I'd know
More about you than you did yourself
But it's okay, I'm alright
I'm glad I'm standing by your side

We could've sat side by side
On a bus, a train, a bar
But what matters is our lives have crossed
Though now you're gone, gone, gone
Memories of our time are now one

You jumped in with both eyes closed
Never did you think I'd know
More about you than you did yourself
But it's okay, I'm alright
I'm glad I'm standing by your side

We met one day, some sunny day
Knowing nothing about "the right way"
To start, maybe loving again.
But there's threads connected, hearts that fluttered
We said things we never thought we'd say again.

You jumped in with both eyes closed
Never did you think I'd know
More about you than you did yourself
But it's okay, I'm alright
I'm glad I'm standing by your side

You once had me in the palm of your hand,
But you squeezed too hard,
I could not breathe,
I could not shout,
And now -
I
Just
Want
To
Be
Let
Out.

I cry and scream,
Kick and flail,
Silent anguish turn into wails,
Oh how our love so frail,
Is
Gone,
Has
Failed.

Come and play in the land of the lost
They who stay will come
They will host
They will charm

Take a stroll along the beach
Moonlight high in the sky
Trail the bank that lines the lake
Boatman glides and ripples the shine

The breeze blow across the land
Whispering trees with bent branches plan
The revelry in secret groves
In corners lost and never known

Fairies shimmer among the leaves
Imps grinning and hanging from the trees
Laughs that ****** light and low
Send me shivers across the land and though

Sleeping children are far away
Tucked tight in their beds
Their dreams hold sway
On their minds when they open sleepy eyes the next day

Again at night they hear the laughs
From a land beyond
That reality has lost

floating on air
slipping on ice
hardly hear the rolling dice
have no eyes
i cannot see
what it is i'm meant to be

drops of rain hitting the pane
rays of sun
shots ringing from a gun
have no ears
i cannot hear
what it is i'm meant to fear

petals of a flower
feather touch of my duvet cover
blades from a knife silver
have no heart
i cannot feel
what it is i'm meant to touch

i cannot see
i cannot hear
i cannot feel
what worth have i
when it is a non-being that am i

I need to thread carefully,
Hush, I won't make a sound,
I don't want to run you to the ground,
And if I have to fall, fall slowly,
Don't let me down to harshly or too hard,
That's all I can really ask.

I'll take you eyes wide open,
Lips blood red bitten,
I'll run blindly through,
If it meant I'd find you,
On the other side of that door,
Don't run for the hills,
Even if I tell you to.

I would like to hope with you,
Be close and lean on you,
Maybe count on you too,
When I'm feeling down,
I hope you'll never push me around,
Dance with me, twirl me round,
We'll go up, round and round,
I promise - I'll never make a sound.

It's part and parcel of growing up,
The things you gain and
The things you lose.
The pain you feel
When the shelter you've had couldn't protect you
Your mind reels
Your stumble, your fall,
The feeling of losing it all;
You're not in control,
But a pawn in Life's thrall.
You're never sure,
You're surely lost,
It's better to admit it now,
Then let your pride rule and before
The higher you climb,
The faster you fall.
It is a fact, you can never have it all.

I am trying to let go
But my thoughts only burrow
Digging deeper and deeper
Bringing me to places
I no longer want to go

I am fighting to let go
Each push I make is slow
Languid and shallow
Blow does the wind blow
I feel like I'm sinking low

I am hoping to let go
To and fro, to and fro
My thoughts and actions go
Back and forth but oh
Hope is a blessing and a bane
On this path I cannot remain

I am letting go
Goodbye to what I know
I'll try my hardest to grow.
The yoke is round my neck
But I shall move the plough
I can take it nice, I will take it slow

Eyes stare dark and deep
Light leaks streaking by
Countless tunes humming by
On and on she stares
Until he has nothing left to bare

Taut and tense
That charge in the air
Fingers pulling at her hair
Her lips hold their corners curved
Mona Lisa hiding in their folds

Secrets swimming in her dress
Round she twirls amidst the stares
They watch enthralled as she turns and gaze
Her lids heavy and her hands wave
Tender touches are what they crave
But she will take her love

Fragile and frail is that love
That she holds far above
She cannot see
Neither will she feel
Until the film ends on its reel
Until she long sleeps in the field

The lady who loved and gambled
Now the lady who lost
Never to come back
Her eyes die
All fades to black
Nothingness there

the scent of grass
rush of blood
adrenaline running
trembling nerves
the stench of fear stings

the missile soars
poised to ****
life to one
death to the other
tense binary

Someday I might be a story,
Maybe, just a fragment of your history,
But it is the present now,
I will seize it because I know,
Time waits for no one,
Moments never freeze,
A touch from the breeze,
And the memory is shattered,
Like it never happened,
But for now I have you,
And you have me,
And we will be,
A "you and me".

I am the weight
I held you down
Kept you from flying too far
Anchoring you with gravity

But now it's over
I've been released
I am the weight no longer
I float from place to place

I need a new anchor
Pull me back down
Don't leave me to suffer
Don't leave me to drown

I wasn't made to fly
But every balloon needs a tie
I'll be your anchor
If you'll be mine

You can be my light
Complement my weight
When it becomes unbearable for me
You'll help me fly

there is a space i like to visit
in between sleep and wake
like walking in transit
the destination unknown and unsure
that little space, that tiny sliver
makes my spine tingle and shiver
the opposite of adrenaline rushes
the feeling spreads like a gentle brush
you never quite know when you enter
you only know that you entered
time has no say
no one can hold sway
not when you're in the place
this little bit of transit space
no one will understand
until it is there that they stand
a place that you have been
never a place that will be seen.

I watched the sun
It set fire to the sky
But it cannot compare
It is nothing like you and I

The black v's move in the distance
It is like the painting I once made
Nothing but dots
In the fiery sky

The mountains unmoving
Sit so still, never changing
When the land is shadowed
Hush greets the arising moon

When you go walking down the street,
Who is it you wish to meet?
The best friend who once saved your life?
The ex lover that left you standing on the side?
Or maybe the family you wish you never had.

The world has changed and along with it the people.
Everyone from the north to south pole
Too busy to even think about themselves,
Let alone the poorer people
Everyone struggling through life to meet death

Wondering what it was all for when they meet the end
What was it all for in the end?

But you and I know we will never see the end
It hits us before we can defend
Questioning yourself will make your head cramp
Life has a way of flashing past, so fast
Too short for anything last.

You can't see it clearly
Everything is so blurry
Images flash by in a flurry
So who would you wanna meet?
When you go walking down the street?

My greatest not-so-great regret
Washing your scent off me
Makes my heart ache daily.

I see you when you're not around
You're everywhere to me
Just like that once-popular song.

You may doubt that I really care
Oh but I do, so much that it scares me
Every night I lay awake.

My greatest not-so-great regret,
I shall share with you my latest great regret;
I don't have you all to myself...no...not yet.

This blank page haunts me
Daring me to fill up the lines
Defining words
To try describing the universe
Transcribing between the lines
A little tool too often used
Softer than a whisper
Sharper than a sword

Blasted manifestos
Speeches lapped up by leeches
Letters of love
Declarations of hate
Signatures for war
Who am I to dictate?
From the scrawls on my little page

But present still is “what if”—
When script fails
What is left?
Nothing but smudges
Faint remnants of faded pasts
Moving to fill blank spaces
Nibs dancing across white pages

Here I am sitting in a bus
Something so everyday
Motion in tandem
Here where thoughts stray
Where everyone drowns
In thoughts maybe not their own
Here where no eyes meet
But all eyes see
Everyone speaks without a word
Here we are, all in a bus.

I feel like I've been looking from afar
So detached, a door left ajar.
I'm wondering what I should do
To bring myself back to you.

But coming back has its hardships too
Your heart may have stopped
Or another could then be with you
I don't know if my confidence will come through

Our minds are weary
Its time to take a break
Your heart feels heavy
Oh, how I know, it sinks.


Yet, would you still brave the wild for me?

I've known you for many days
I've watched your many ways
If I could I would
Kiss the side of your face
Every single day
I've missed you a million ways
I've hugged you till we parted ways
Still it's not enough
To smell your scent I'd bury my face
Into the crook of your arm
Into the side of your face
I'd crawl and curl up beside you to sleep
So I'd wake to see a new day
So I'd wake to see your face
So you'd make my day
So I can love you a thousand ways
Over and over again

I thought that you would be the one
You put images I wanted down
You had the power to make me smile
You had the skill to make me frown
I loved the flowers you gave
Even if they were brown

Too bad our legs untangled
Our hands no longer hold
The future I once thought I saw
Are but memories that now thaw
Like ice under the sun
Dripping in puddles of flaws

This is what a Lover means
What “could have been”
What would never be
No longer what is and what will be
I move forward with you
Lingering faintly —
In the recesses of my memory

This is what a Lover means
Awkward, silent, cruel
Having gruel
With a fork and knife
Grey and slippery, sloshing in a bowl
A trial to all

You could have been my present and my future
My boyfriend, husband, lover
But now you are no longer
I will not wait for you hence
Not now, not ever.


This is what a Lover is,
You are but a Lover,
Not made to be my forever.

The whir of the engine
In the dark night
Marquees blur as the car drives by
Night lights flash and fade

High on music
Lights and sound
Feeling alone in a crowded room
Bodies all around
Alive and loud but without a sound

Booming beats
Spreading numb
Becoming someone I shouldn't become
Unraveling in revelry
The threads are undone