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Tread not on empty ground,
For the skies may stretch across
And the grass may abound upon the earth,
But you'll not thrive in the desert lost.
I'm getting kind of desperate
And that's not a good thing to own
But maybe I wouldn't be gripping so hard
If I didn't know I was alone.
A diamond is made 
From pressure and stress 
The carbon and heat
Create hardness

From ashes to beauty
Just dirt purified
From hard circumstances 
And persistence combined 

A diamond withstands
The harshest force
It's cut by itself
From the initial coarse

Nothing can scratch
Nor its perfection mar
And from its hard ordeal
It bears no scar

It is the strongest substance
Won't bend or even give
No heat, impact, or tension
All else it will outlive 

Diamonds are an image
They serve as a display 
For something that's much harder
And endures through any pain

Diamonds worn around the finger
Bound to a golden ring
Represent the marriage pact
That outstands everything

Love that never, ever fails
Love that keeps its word
Love that lasts throughout the storm
Love that's tested sure

A diamond shines for all to see
It glitters in the light
And the love that's in the heart
Shines in the blackest night.
Die
Die
Sometimes I feel like
Every time, I die; but it
Makes me more alive.
There was just no time.
How could I expect so much
When we had little?
The thought, idea, hope, dies
Because we never can be.
Part 3
The smile you give is a disguise
Your small laugh is a lie
The words you say are from someone else
So that no one sees you cry.
How could I answer
When you just asked me that way?
'Course I don't hate you.
But I do dislike you, sometimes.
the bells ring and ring
distant and unimportant
but they speak warning.
It distresses me:
I just can't think straight these days.
But one thing I know—
I am alright without you,
And that comforts me.
If there's a word that you're holding back, say it.
If there's advice in your brain, let it out.
And if anything helps, then I'll take it;
But no man can assuage all my doubt.

I doubt that I'll ever quite make it:
I doubt that my dreams will come true.
I doubt night and day, but I fake it
In case they start doubting me too.

I don't think I can catch my breath now,
I doubt that this air will be clean;
Don't know if I'm close to my death now,
But alive? I just feel in between.

Come and steal away all of my guilt now
Make me sigh and admit I was wrong
For of all of the things my mind's built now
I distrusted self-doubt all along.
Should I drive you from my mind?
Shall I stop my heart?
Or are you even close to me?
Do you play a special part?

I forget to think of you
When I am alone,
And I can't say I like to say
Our names in a loving tone.

I admire you, I know that,
But are you in my soul?
Have I even written your name?
Or imagined us on a stroll?

In fact, am I infatuated?
Or do I fancy it
So that my heart longs to feel,
And yet, it doesn't?

I don't know what I'd do
If you suddenly loved me,
And I don't know what I'd say
If your eyes began to see.

Perhaps my heart's run out of love--
Perhaps I am a yawn:
Too tired to think romantic things
And to friendship go beyond.

Finally, I have defeated
A meaningless urge:
The wish to be your only one,
Under tiredness submerged.
I don't have a crush on you at all. I don't know why I thought I did. What a relief.
What are you doing
When I'm not really looking?
Do I want to know?
Don't hurt yourself
    because you're hurting.
Don't break yourself
    because your heart's breaking.
I know you're sinking, drowning,
    tearing apart inside.
But someday I see you smiling
    And that's why I keep loving.
Don't move

They surround the ones who struggle
And pull them down to the depths
Where their flames are snuffed out
And they all meet their deaths
Introduced by the king of the hall
Where they join all the rest
And wish they had stayed still

So don't move.
Don't you miss it?  A little?
when we didn't worry if it was right
and we could talk a lot
and it was if we'd never be apart
time kind of flew by, and we grew up
we wondered about things we used to know for sure
and all we used to know didn't make sense
I don't think we can get that back
We'll always wonder if any of our decisions were right in the end
if what drove us to those decisions was worth any of the difficulty

We'll always have our doubts.
Don't let me get down
It's easier than breathing
And living just hurts.
I am dying inside;
I have this secret longing
That smiles cannot hide.
     I am trying to stand;
     I have such a weight upon me,
     It's getting out of hand.

I just want to breathe;
It's enough that my lungs are burning,
I can't unclench my teeth.
     I just wish I knew;
     It's so difficult to understand
     And always believe in you.


Where did you go?
    And who have you become?
    They ask me constantly.
Where did she go?
    I feel that I've grown numb,
    A pale catastrophe.

But where should I go?
    And who will be my one?
    No one cares for me.
I know it's not so,
    But no one has come
    I'm waiting impatiently.


Give me a chance and let me change
    Surely you don't want me!
I am as imperfect as imperfect comes--
    Surely you don't want to see.

Just give me a day, a week, a month,
    I'll show you who I can be;
I'll be better than I ever was,
    My old self? Who is she?


    Goodbye, fair world
Of lost hopes and lost dreams;
    I know we'll never meet again,
Unless I burst at the seams.

    Farewell to all I knew before,
I'm not the girl I seem;
    Just let me go and leave me be.
Let this all be a dream.
In the dream
    I had last night
the stars were all aglow;
    Glittered sand
    still hugged the land
and streets shone like the snow.
    The city lights
    lit up the night
and sifted from the sky;
    Like dewdrops fair
    they sparkled there
too thrilled to wonder why.
run...
fly...
jump...
swim through the sky

dreaming of flight
wanting to escape
finding my wings
seamless shapes

limitless reach
stretch above my head
galactic needle
pulling infinite thread

field of pyramids
I'm twenty feet tall
stumbling to find
the end of it all

the house I knew
twisted somehow
and all the rooms
are locked away now

the college campus
that I once roamed
with elevators broken
construction postponed

looking through the floor
glass beneath my shoes
wearing a skirt
afraid of the view

someone I've never met
capturing my heart
sweeping me off my feet
are they real or not?

the roots of any dream
might never be found
but none of them are real
no matter how profound.
Grey means I'm tired,
Black means depressed,
Turquoise means I'm happy;
Just look at how I'm dressed.
It's true, I wear different colors depending on my mood
Drip and drop
A river ensues
Carving deep
Sarchasm cues.
I am going to write, my dear
Until my fingers fall off
I'll use paper, pen, and pencil
Or type until I drop.
I usually prefer one-word titles. Huh.
Deep inside me come,
Up from somewhere deep and great:
Drums, drums in the deep,
Constant drumming in my head,
I cannot ignore.
Wouldn't it be nice
If people got dumped because
They fell in a bin
Of toxic waste and lost hair;
It's sadder than that these days.
It's easy to hurt
When all I think of is you
And you aren't mine.
Sigh.
Ecce! angelus
Ab parve me considit
Eheu! cedit.
Look! an angel
Beside little me alights.
Ah! it leaves.
Sometimes, if someone told me I lived in Candyland,
I'd agree because my music is so bubbly,
My outfit is so bright,
And my disposition is ecstatic.  Frankly.
Come here
Accept the unaccepted
They need someone to follow
And you're the only one elected.
****** knuckles
****** wall
****** fingers in the hall

Hand sweep hair
Hair sweep face
Someone trying to erase

Loving heart
Bleeding soul
Handled rough and broken whole

Coping mind
Angry eyes
No one ever should tell lies

Could he be
Someone Loved
Precious in God's hand above?
Hands smudged from the filth
Stuck down in his fingernails
Worked to Impress her.
She was his Empress.
End
End
You're close the end
When you draw breath and forget
That I used to breathe.
One comfort that I find
Is that when there is no music in my ears,
                                               or in the air,
There is always music
                                     in my heart.
Quenya for 'the music of the heart/mind/soul.'
Life may have its
ups and downs and
deep seas before
we hit dry land
But as long as
we can end up
end up happy
end up in love
No one wants to
lose to down days
but we all know
that's how life plays
So it's clear now
if we end up
instead of down,
that's the best end.
written listening to the daydream lofi hip-hop Tokyo mix
I can rest assured tonight—
I know I am secure;
Even when all others fight,
I know I shall endure.
Psalm 4:8
    In peace I will lie down and sleep,
    for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.
None ended well, few
That they were; but I am not
Ending badly now.
If I can help it.


“I know how it will end...and it will not end well.” —DW, Vincent
Energy to speak
And breath to engage with you;
Not enough for math.
Thoughts I entertain
Sometimes, they return by night
To haunt my black dreams.
So many people all around,
I'm crowded in this space;
Noises, voices, endless choices,
Mind starts to erase.

Walls start closing in on me,
I'm trapped inside this place;
Cries, surprise, I realize,
I'm just another face.

Get me out, let me go,
My blood begins to race;
Shining, pining, no declining,
Breaking out with no disgrace.

The box they put me in is gone,
I'm a circle in this square place;
Blinding, finding more, reminding
The trapped to find escape.
There are words inside
Trying to be silent here—
Sneaking past my lips,
They make themselves known loudly,
Reddening my cheeks and ears.
It's been a little while since I decided
since I started telling everyone who asked
since I posted it in every corner
since I declared my major.

But what if I don't want to be a teacher?
What if I go off to college,
and I suddenly have the courage to do
what I didn't want to do before?

I'm afraid that it won't work
afraid I can't make it work
afraid to let go and fall
because what if it falls through?

All I want to do is music,
and yes,
I'm minoring in music
and honestly
I could be a teacher
but I'm rethinking that.

I know I don't have to go with the career
that matches my major,
and that I could finish out a teacher's license
and then go on to music.

But I could be so much more prepared!
There's so much more I could do
if I majored in Songwriting, Music Performance, or Worship Ministries.
What should I do?

What can I do?
I can take generic classes now,
ones that can count for any major,
and choose later.

But how long can I wait?
I'll just have to be patient
and wait for His guidance
because He knows what I should do.
What do you think I should do?
Deep inside, you're not the one
You always wished that you were
You're worse than the average,
Better than what you expect;
What they gonna do with you?
You're the one they need the most.
I want to explode
Grow, shatter, spread, fill the sky
'Till I don't feel small.
My eyes hurt
Maybe it's from staring at the computer
for so long
Maybe it's bad for my eyes

My eyes hurt
Maybe it's because I'm tired and didn't get
enough sleep
Maybe it's bad for my eyes

My eyes hurt
Maybe it's from the mascara I just started wearing
to get attention
Maybe it's bad for my eyes

My eyes hurt
Maybe it's from the hard music I listen to
to make sense of stuff
Maybe it's bad for my eyes

My eyes hurt
Maybe it's because I feel like crying but I'm
keeping it in
Maybe it's bad for my eyes.
Eyes closed, skies exposed
Reveal the glow above me
The slightest gleam, lightest beam
Unveils sunrise blushing.

The drip and drop, a grip that stops,
Slipping from the run;
Dream the shadow, scream the sorrow,
And stumble when you’re done.

Sway beneath the fraying wreath
Too wrought to reach the ending;
Perhaps your sleep, collapse the heap,
Will lift your soul ascending.

Deep in sorrow, reap tomorrow
The things you sow today;
Suffer, maybe, tough or shaky:
Faint, the sky seems grey.
Look at us,
We don't know who we are
With our heads in the clouds 
And our eyes on the stars

Look at us,
We won't get very far
With our heads in the clouds
And our eyes on the stars.

When I was a child
I was pretty wild
But nothing compares to the day
I decided I had say

Growing up I did right
Tried to follow stoplights
But sometimes I would just give up
Never found a perfect love

Tryna find out who I am
Realizing I don't know anythin'
But when I'd try to be something
I'd never have just what I need

Look at us,
We don't know who we are
With our heads in the clouds 
And our eyes on the stars

Look at us,
We won't get very far
With our heads in the clouds
And our eyes on the stars.

We're so young, we don't know
Who we are or what we hope
We are the future, we are the sound
Of innocence taking a turn around

So we look to the stars and we look to the sky
One hundred reasons not to care why
Sailin' on a cloudtop
Waitin' for the rainstop
Who knows where we are
Who we are
Why we're here and

Look at us,
We don't know who we are
With our heads in the clouds 
And our eyes on the stars

Look at us,
We won't get very far
With our heads in the clouds
And our eyes on the stars.
You have your hands full
without criticizing all my faults.
So go and leave me to criticize myself, bro.
There are little tiny fears
Stabbing like pinpricks of light
They don't really hurt but I feel them
As I stay up late tonight.

I'm afraid to be open
I think I should be closed
But the more I try to shut them out
The more I am an in unbloomed rose.

The later it gets, the worse I feel
Fears tucking in the bedsheets
The fact that I'm afraid of the dark
Is one of my lifelong feats.

Anger drives some fears away
But they inevitably return
Maybe if I banished with love
I'd actually learn.
You place a finger to my lips
To signify some change;
The wind outside the building shifts,
The curtains rearrange.
Questioning I glance at you:
Your eyes take in the problem
And deem that something is askew,
From top until the bottom.
And then they strike! the serpents
Who guarded tombs of old
Had sneakéd through the curtain
And crept across the floor.
We dash up to the rooftop
But this is in the desert;
Our path of flight, it must stop
That we may end this hurt.
You draw your saber, slowly
All others they gather round
Ev'ry wedding guest holding
To their host's every word
You tell them of the valor
That awaits a man alive
And that it's your desire
That everyone survive.
They arm themselves, bravely
And descend through the floor
To the storey down below me
And shutter the trapdoor.
The plan is simple: find one
And **** the serpent dead
As soon as youve slain it,
Deliver here its head.
The many serpents saw us
And, hissing, took their aim
But not a one escaped us
For our leader, host, the same
He led them without falter
Guiding without doubt
And when the last was severed
We gave a triumphant shout.
The feast continued, slowly
Just as it was before
But none thought little of the man
Who secured their lives once more.
Sometimes I write stories. Usually if they're poem form they stink. But I thought this was better than most attempts in the past. Wedding party in the Sahara gets attacked by a group of snakes, probably magical, and one man gives them the courage to fight. I have no idea where that came from. Probably too much TV ;D
Oh look I just did
Something you never could do





I licked your elbow.
I can feel you here
When I'm alone and weary;
Even in silence,
Words are unnecessary.
I know that I'm not alone.
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