I’m so sorry, Lord
I failed again
Even though I say I’m trying
It feels like I can’t
I can’t try
Without failing
And I fail
At trying
All the while I carry this cross
The weight seems so heavy to bear
And I stacked on the pounds
I was not unaware
But surprised when the last grain of rice tipped the scale
And I look back to see myself having failed
And then I stop and I think
(Not to dissipate the guilt,
But to accept my fate)
It was never written or taught
That you never tripped while you walked
Carrying your cross
To Calvary— for me.
And for a time even, you allowed
A friend to carry the weight
You, even, were not alone in your feat.
Lord,
I will look and behold
But strengthen my neck
To hold it up
Help lift my cross
So that I am not crushed
I want to dwell in your glory
But what do I know of Holy?
A year ago this was not me,
Somehow my direction changed
And slowly I turned from your face
And once you were just an arms length away
And now I’m in a valley
Looking miles up the Hill
Where you died for me
Today I am not the woman weeping
At your feet
But my Lord and God
I long to be
It was me
who nailed your hands and your feet.
Please, forgive me.
Forgive me Lord
It was me.
I am the cause of your sufferings.
Please show me what it is I need
To do to come to your mercy seat
Lead my feet And hold me
I will walk the road to Calvary
Or I will walk the road you paved for me.
I will collapse at your feet, begging,
Please forgive me.
I understand the one
Who washed your feet with her tears
And dried them with her hair
She saw your glory
And perhaps her misdeeds
And like so many heard
I long to hear the words
“Take up thy bed and walk”
Or, “thy sins are forgiven thee”
I will not pray,
“Please save me”
But “you have saved me.
Now please, please,
Change me.”
Make me more worthy
I know it might hurt
Cleaning the wounds imbedded with dirt
But you will wash me.