every day
They do happen
All around us
Do you want to see miracles?
Open our eyes  
To the rainbow colors of  Light
Creating playful rhymes
Pros and songs
With joyful gratitude
Set your heart free to Love
As the sun shines
as songs of birds filling the air.
As pebbles of sand
Without number.
Miracles are.　
(now read the lines from the bottom up).

Be at Peace
You are the Creator's Delight
The Creator's
Wonder, Awe, Love & Joy
Be at Peace
For you are loved.

See, smell, hold it, feel it,
Strum it, remember.
I see you  siting on the couch in the family room.
We are playing and signing together.

These are some of my happiest memories of you
This guitar, with it's four strings
With a rattling inside
Turning it from front to back
Back to front again and again
This 1938 Martin Tenor Guitar
My father held and played for hours
Weddings, family gatherings, holidays
And just because it was a Monday.
A family home for the evening - singing.
I was always the last one to leave.
"Play me another song, dad. Please!"

Rattling rattle, what's inside?
Turning, shaking
Reaching for the sound
Deep inside with my fingers
There it is! Got it!
What is it?

Look at this!
It's my dad's guitar pick!
A picture of a palm tree and  "Fender Heavy"
Stamped into an old plastic pick
Tucked into this Tenor Guitar for safe keeping.

Tears swelling to overflowing
Spilling from my eyes
I hear him picking, singing
It is so soothing.

To  His little girl's delight
Turning the guitar face side up
placing my left hand on the neck
Feeling, ******* the cords he taught me
Going through each one of them
One by one.

I was tired today.
A long night it was.
He tossed and turned.
I tossed and turned.
The room was hot.
The room was cold.
It seemed the sun rose too soon.

Up the stairs
With Creaky knees.
At least the left hip is not sore yet.
Mind over matter, "Walk. Walk. Walk!"
Commanding myself to Step on the floor surely.
Keep going
Just a few more steps.
Keep it up,"Walk, walk, walk!"
Keep moving hip!
Maybe the pain will go away.

Why am I so sore?
Louis Hayes says,
"Fear of going forward in major decisions.
Nothing to move forward to."
Hum, is this really so?

Yes, I do feel like I am being still.
After all, it doesn't hurt when I am still.
Or does it?

Yet, I keep moving
In spite of my musings.

A flower sings  its own song
accompanied by a glowing inner light.
As flowers sing,  their rainbow of sound grows.

Evergreen trees & cranberries
Pine cones soaked in cinnamon oil
Candle holders for the beautiful Christmas candles.
Time to decorate with all the fresh trimmings.
Now where are the push pins and tacks?

They say there are only two reasons to forget:
1) I am in love, or it is 2) Senility.
I pray it is Love!

Opening
Shining
Angel of the Sun
Each Color of the Rainbow
One by one                            
Red
Orange
Yellow
Orange  
Blue
Purple

Dancing together
within the  white crown of unity.
Twinkling and shining
Mirroring the universe within
Yes,  sea of green leaves in a
Breath of the blue azure sky!

Rainbows from violet to magenta
Together within my crystalline gift
Forever within the heart of unity!

My dear Angel of the Sun
You have blessed me with
The fire of life!

A knowing  intuition,
Echoes, we are all
Suns within the Universal Heavens!

Reaching out with her warmth,
"My dear Butterfly, fly!"
"My dear Angel of Sun, thank you."

Is the pain and suffering    
that comes from our generational weaknesses.
Born from the stuffings of our ancestors.
The pain and suffering they are not able to resolve
Is a gift for the next generation.

The choice to resolve or not to resolve
Is ours alone to make.
If we choose to resolve, it is a gift.
If we choose not to resolve, this too is a gift.

For more generations will follow
To make the same choice.
Stepping into this life
Fully aware of the new strengths
They will gain and pass on
to the generations ahead.

If they step into darkness
While holding on to courage.
For both strengths and weaknesses
Are blessed gifts.

One to bring us to our knees
And the other to lift us up.

Over the  mountains along the winding road
Crossing the distance
To the people of my heart
To hug you
To look into your  eyes
As you share your tales
Of challenges and joys.
I may not be there physically.
Yet I am with you
Always in  Spirit.
<3 u 8

Harmony, Truth, & Power
It comes through Love.
Never by manipulation.
Never by force.
Light seeking Light
Power & Truth opening Spirit
Embracing ...
Heart to Heart
Every spark within
Every world and every universe
Unfolding within each
The Inner Spark of each creative dance
Expanding eternally, into infinity...
Never by force.
Never by manipulation.
It comes through Love
Harmony, Truth & Power

What am I?
Water of Love
A kiss Divine?
Each crystalline design
A shimmering Angel!
Dear heart, uncoil
Open my seeking, hungry soul
Reaching beyond the breath of freedom
To sooth weary pains.
Am I enough?
Clasping each frozen crystal.
Gently touching. Gently Soothing
Each fallen tear.
Gently touching. Gently Soothing
Clasping each frozen crystal.
I am enough!
To Sooth weary pains.
Reaching beyond the breath of freedom
Open my seeking, hungry soul
Dear heart uncoil
A shimmering Angel
Each Crystalline design
A kiss Divine
Water of Love  
Am I.

At times  I find myself blocked.
Stopped, unable to move forward.
Standing still, as the days pass me by.

Lost dreams, lost hopes.
Lost loves, lost friends,
Lost parents, siblings and children.
Lost heart, Lost soul.

Enter, exit, enter again and turn left
Or was it right?
May I go forward? Stop and  await.
Do this! Don't do that!
They are wrong. We are right!
Over manipulated. Over controlled.
Enough!!!! No more!!!

Watching loved ones leave
Never to return again.
Broken hearted,
Longing throbbing pain.

So easily distracted by appetite
The smells and enticing words
"Massaman curry with rice with spring rolls
A slice of cheese, with date or olive
Lost in tasting, numb in feeling....
Eating myself into the land of oblivion
Drifting, floating, never to return.

It came quickly!
The rain fell hard in my summer!
Can you see us?
Everyone in their own storm.
Oh, please be still my restless soul.

Watching "them" drawing up schemes
Complaining maneuvers and attacks
Smiling smugly, together
under their "justified" umbrella.
I turned my energy away.

The wind continues to blow
And the rain continues to fall
Do I give into despair?
Or take courage to persevere?  
Courage my friend.  
A  glorious choice, courage!

Moving gracefully through the storm
Calm stillness begins
Facing the sun
The shadows fell behind me.
"What if I grab the silver lining?
Will my life be forever changed?"

I am not a lone "Black Sheep" in this rain.
Each of us in line, shedding our fleece.
Letting it go, as white feathers
Gracefully floating higher
Upon sunbeams Home.

The storm continued as I built my  new home.
Among the quiet of the fragrant cedars
Maples, birch and pine.

The fragrance of the wind
and the touch of the rain
Now fills  my senses!

Opening, freely.
Spirit Dancing in the Rain!
My senses love the spring,
Summer and the fall rains!!

It was in this moment the clouds parted.
Revealing a flowing rainbow
With  vibrational colors of resonance
A phi ratio within each color
Singing, songs, and connecting
Each strand of my human DNA.

A smile expressing itself
Thousands upon thousands of Colors!
An adventure within each
New sunny and rainy day!!
Oh, how I love, this sweetness in life!!!

Why?
Because every memory is still beautiful!
Even when intentions of actions were unkind.
For these burning fires have birthed
My greatest strengths.
Thank you for all you have done.
Our roles at the close of the last act, complete.
Watching as the curtain closes
Shedding the glove, we call a body
We return to the Light from which we came.

Never cage The Eagle
If you want it to soar!
With a heart filled with sorrow
No amount of love
Can cure a passion lost, caged heart.

No amount of pleading
Will make room in The Eagle's cage
For it to fly and soar.
No matter how much you beg
On bended knee
It will never fly again.

It's qi will leak, from its very core.
It's will to live, will vanquish.
As It gives up It's Life Dream
Slipping silently into
A quiet numbness.
All desire to live passionately, gone.

The Eagle you love
Will turn into a hollow body
That still breathes
With a  resignation to a hopeless
passionless, dreamless caged life.
Growing beyond feeling, beyond caring.

Yet, one day when you die
Or your Eagle passes first
The Eagle will open to find what was lost.
Whether in this life or the next
It does not matter.
The Eagle will rejoice and fly again.

From the look on your face
I don't think  you liked what I just said.
You do have a choice.
You can choose to set The Eagle free.
In freedom, feed your Eagle with respect
Love, acceptance and care.

Be in awe as you watch
Your Eagle fly toward the heavens
Reflections within the gleaming sun.
Casting It's soaring shadow
Over  rivers, canyons and high mountain peaks.  

With gratitude your Eagle will return
Again to your loving arms.
Because you love your Eagle enough
To set It free.

Poem:....

We look different.
Yet we are the same people.
We each desire to love and be loved.
We each desire to belong and let others know they belong.
We each have gifts, talents, strengths and weaknesses.
We each have something innate within each of us
It supports us, leads us, guides and protects us along the way.
We each desire to know, seek and find peace.
Not only for ourselves do we hope for all of this
This yearning extends to our children, grandchildren
And to all of our generations to come.
In this way, we are the same, all over the world.
May peace and joy be with you and your loved ones
This beautiful holiday season

Joy, Fun, Laughter
Learning, Growing,
Discovering & Creating
Support & Community!
We are women!
We stand together
That all of humanity
May stand up too.

We love
We care for
We cradle
We teach and raise
Generations upon Generations
Each man and each women

Yes we stand up for all of Humanity
May man stand with us too!
For yes, are women!
We want peace.
We want kindness.
We want respect.
We value and want to be valued.
We want all to be free to live.
We want all to be free to love
In Peace.
In Harmony.
In Joy.

The question rings as a rattle on my cage.
"I am writing poetry" I answered.

He mumbled, "I thought you were playing Mahjong."

I exhaled hard, "I was. I won two games. " I said  with a little aggravation.

"Hum..." he said, then all fell silent.
I did not respond.

Only the sound of my fingers typing on the keyboard continued
Until he could not stand it anymore, "There's news today. The USA is pulling out of Syria."

"Hum, that's good." I said.

He said, "I am sure the families of the soldiers that are coming home are happy."

"Yeah, they probably are." I said halfheartedly as I continued to write.

"Israel is still worried about their borders."

Sarcastically I replied, "Maybe they will build  a wall."
The sounds of tap-tap-tap on the keyboard, continuing...

He said, "Yeah, maybe Trump will help them."
I stopped typing.
We laughed and I continued to write.

It was quiet for just a moment.
Then he said, "What'cha doing now?
We both laughed out loud!!!
And I finished this writing.

It is so quiet.
I hear peanuts shells
snapping
teeth grinding
peanuts into butter
between his teeth.
The quiet page turning
Buried do deeply in
"The Scottish Prisoner"
It will be a while
Before he is hungry for dinner.
A bonus!
Turing thoughts inward
to the ever present ringing in my ears.
Long breaths in
and slower breaths out
Allowing the noise to disappear.

A pathway that gracefully winds
Into the heights of Heaven Most High?
I have heard what they call this place
Medebah, Medebah, Medebah
The seventh heaven of seven heavens.
Where the cherubim, unicorns
And all the Spirit Children, dance.
Around and round in the meadow
Where the flowers grow
Where the Eternal
Tree of Life Blooms.

Be still, the Dove whispers, be still.
You have a key!
It is the breath
She whispers to me.
"Follow your breath."

To where I wonder, to where?
Am I to breathe?
The intention of my mind
The intention of my heart
Bound by a Golden Ring
The breath circles, in
the breath circles out.

Did you feel it?
That moment of stillness.
After the in and before the out....
I smiled and nodded, yes.
Dear Dove, smiled and began to dance.
Celebrating brightly, "Yes!!" "Yes!!" "Yes!!"

Grief on wings of the White Dove
With an olive branch hanging
From her beak.
  
My heart expanding
Yearning  to burst open
Into expressions of mourning.
Grief expanding into mourning  
I lost you!

My inner feelings crying
Thoughts, punctuated with deep sighs.  
Tears, watering the branches
Lying at my feet.

Crying, outside of my self
Longing for you...
So, many tones of agony...

Pouring out of my heart.
The songs  of longing
Music welling up
From deep behind my eyes.
Writing, sharing, feeling, expressing
Art of the heart seeking release

Each anniversary
The day you died
The month afterwards
Each month…2, 3, 4, 5...
Your birthday
The first day, of the sixth month.

The usual Christmas tree celebration
Did not happen.
No popcorn stringer
With gummi bears and gum drops
No snow man soup
No gingerbread house …
My heart so heavy
My limbs were numb.

Oh, I miss your quite
Knowing humor
The gilt in your eyes
One year…two years
7 months & 19 days ago
Around 10 pm….
I still feel the sting
Of  hearing the news
Brother, speaking, describing
I not wanting to hear, " ... he's gone ..."

It just did not feel real!
No, it can't be…
NO! Not STEPHAN!!!!!!!!!!
Lord, NO! Please no!!
I picked up my pen
To scribble the notes…
I needed to see!
I needed to read!!!
I needed to write it all!!!

And when I reread it
I cried! …Sobbing…..
It became the way
To express my grief
My sorrow
My pain.

As the pain poured out
Out come what was left unresolved.
It helped to quiet my soul.
I could feel you
As I asked questions
And the answers
Poured and poured outward.

Pain flowed out
As understanding
Entering my heart.

Flying this path
Healing in my way
At the helm of my love
I reach toward you

Issue by issue
Understanding by understanding
Through rain, sleet and storm
My heart, calming
Though, a little unsteady...
Shaking
Hold on to me
I am a little unsteady.

Through their Misconceptions
I affirmed that  - grief is okay
Yet when mourning
Some still say,  "Just get on with it."

No orderly stages
Neither up or nor down?  
It Spirals round
In and through.
With the hand of Understanding
My heart, now stands in awe..
So this is compassion!

As the  key to the lock
Opens the door
The Dove flying freely
A fledgling peeks above the edge
Of the mud
Of straw and twigs.

I thought he few away
My spirit left mourning
The light dimmed
On this plane

Yet he lives!
My son lives!
His Light Shining
As the Inner Compass
Points the Way.

Now forever
Heart to heart
I embrace my son

It is much deeper now
All the unresolved floating up
As White Feathers Rising
Toward the Sun.
Toward the  Light

And the White Dove her sang of joy
Honoring the Red Rose
Of our Serenity.

My Inner Friend
Taught me to breathe.
To sing, to dance,
And follow my heart.

We merged
Into One Heart
One body
One Soul
One mind.  

Thank you."
My heart overflows
With Love.

Today I take my first step  toward freedom
Letting go of what I assume to be true
Letting go of the lies I have lived by.
 
Today, I take back my freedom.
I take back my personal power to choose
To follow my inner most guide.
 
Today I choose to reclaim my thoughts.
Today I choose to reclaim my feelings.
Today I choose to reclaim my physical body.
With my Spirit of Breath, Heart & Wisdom.
Today I choose to be whole!