A worn out soul
With a weary smile
Calling out to the heavens
Voice filled with despair
Begging God for rest

"Oh Lord, please grant me peace" it cried
As it began to crumble
A woeful plea to the gray sky
Exhorting Him
Sanity slowly slipping away

Numerous futile attempts
Praying to be saved
"My God do not forsaken me!" It yelled
Shedding tears of blood
Holding on to a thin string of hope

Then It snapped
Taking matters to it's own hands
The soul left
Now walking on the path to Utopia
Where it can rest for eternity

Pop ‘em pillies
OD on my pellets, I know
It ain’t pretty:
Experienced, suicidal
Gotham city
All up in head I rave, yup
Desperate times
I will show you how bad I gave up

Shovel in my hands
I’m digging my own grave
You don’t understand
It’s too late to be saved
Falling for the trap
To be poisoned, no comment
There’s no turning back
Let’s pretend I’m a rodent

Pop ‘em pillies
Pop, pop
Pop ‘em pillies
Pillies
It ain’t pretty
The ways that I **** me
I’m my own pest control
And I dig my own grave
These are just one of the ways
To show you how bad I gave up

I remember seeing you
In the front of the class
Standing like it was second nature to you
In front of a mass

I thought you were good
But returned to my world
As I reminded myself that I am alone

Imagine my surprise when you walked BEHIND to see
In my tiny corner
All eyes on me

I stared at you for a while
Barely believing my eyes
Thinking you’d leave and then forget

You stayed and sat
For three straight days
Cracking your jokes and destroying my walls
Making me laugh like I had lost nothing at all

A few days later
It was back again
To haunt me
To tell me
Never again

But you saw right through me
Right then you knew
What was wrong and what to do

I was only a step away from
Becoming friends with you
You understand me like no one ever could
Yet there’s one thing that no one would
Think of
Believe
Or wonder about me
The child who is quiet
But happy and alone

I feel anger
Not because they don’t see
But because they never wanted to
You tried
My friend
And for that I’m glad
But I always knew it was too much to ask

I sit on my bed
With the gun to my head
Not crying nor weeping
But simply still
Thinking about you
The only thing
Giving purpose to my life
While I try to ****

I’m sorry that it had to be this way
I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye
But I warned you that day when you sat by my side

I am the one
The one who couldn’t be healed
Simply because no one wanted to try

We had big plans
You loved me once
I loved you too
I thought you knew
It went away
I chose to stay
Until you chose
Gave up, I froze
I see a dream
You're nowhere to be seen
Your dad is there
He was a friend
Momo's there too
I miss them both but you
Who knew I cared
I think I'm scared
I had a family briefly
Thank you for sharing them with me

I guess you want me to say I'm sorry
But I cant...
You hurt me, put a bullet in my heart
Like I was an animal in a safari
I needed you...you left..said it was cause of something i lacked
I'm fixing myself, no thanks to you
And now you want me back?
I'm not the same as before
You were fine knowing that I was hurting
I had to pick myself up  
Harden my heart
now I'm  as cold as a stone floor
I loved you but I guess you didn't love me
I'm no longer sorry I did the things i did
I'm not sorry i gave up
Just like you did with me....

For every time he gave up,
That was his cry for help.

-HIY

You do not know this
But you are the reason why
I gave up on love

•

Your love is as sweet as the sugar,
                   That  I've been addictively indulging,
             For so many years.



        Every piece of you,
                      Is just the most gratifying that I have tasted!




                                   But when together we've been drowned with tribulations,





                                    You just gave up rapidly...






And dissolved!




                                   Integrating and going with the flow,

                         Of those torments and allurements,




Now where are you?




You are now a part of those afflictions that drowned you,


                                            I can still taste your sweetness,


                      Every time I sip through the trials,
                                That we've face,
          Resulting to weaken your knees,
    And been defeated,




       I was totally in great pain,


        To know that your love,

Can be just greatly surmounted,

                            By miseries in life,



But what can I do?

                                            I fight, you relinquish,


And until then,

You just become a memory,

Of an achingly baleful chronicles of my life.


                      © Earl Jane
                         ♥ E.J.C.S.

How foolish of me,
my eyes so blind I couldn't see.
Why did I even bother trying,
I'd eventually fail while sighing,
This was all my wrong doing
I hate this feeling.
What was wrong with me
I had no opportunity.
Not even a single chance,
My mind stuck in a trance.
You'd fall for the other
I'm sorry I ever bother.
I'd never forget you,
Even if I'm your number two.
Hold on, I'm the isolated one
Go ahead and enjoy the fun.
I'll sit back and depress
But for your sake, all my feelings will suppress.
Don't worry about me.
My mind has been set free.
I won't give up on you, sadly I gave up on myself.
Just promise me you'll take care of yourself.