Roses not always wanted
On special days
So take me away I'm
Eagerly awaiting adventure
Since memories last till end of time

My daughter
Why are you crying
I Am always with you

I know that no matter where i am
I can always say to my Father
Up daddy up
And feel his arms around me
Holding me tight
Calming my nerves
As i focus on Him
Being held in his arms
That are always open

My life is like a keyboard in
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I try and Esc those who are poison to my life
where I just need to Tab and skip ahead a week
or maybe a month
that doesn't always work so I try and find an Alt way
if all fails
push through to the End
Shift to the new chapter
and delete them from your life
phone
social media and all
I like to enter into a long dream
so I can wake up and start over
some days feel like I am on caps lock and everything is drastic
or way too exciting I just need to scroll down a bit to save some energy for the rest of the day
Some days I need not be alone
but to insert myself into healthy groups
full of positive vibes and energy
if I stay with healthy relationships
my f8 should be well off
but don't quote me on that
if I ever get to crazy
feel free to tell me to backspace
and just chill
I don't want my life to be just okay & full of JK's
but rather full of spontaneous adventures
while trying not to be a jailbird one day
I know we belong together
for that is why W and E are next to each other
like U and I
but don't #perfect us for we are like many others
so if you could let me clear my mind
and focus that would be great
for I am @ a point
where I shouldn't be worried about $$
and the % I make
to help do things for you and I
because it isn't about
money but taking
one letter one word at a time

Suicide isn't the way
Talk to me, I'm here
Allow me to help
You are worth it!

My teacher asked all to write a poem
and to turn it in before the class ends
I don't know what to write about
except what others may
so I tell you this
that I do like this assignment
yet I don't because I can't just write a poem from thin air
for something must come to me
I am slowing down for I do not know
what else to write
I can tell you this
that this is an hour where I become hungry,
sometimes very hungry that
my stomach growls when its silent
dead silent
I guess I have more to write about than I thought
Then again its just thoughts that are coming
to my mind and spilling on to this sheet of paper
now full of words
the class is almost over
making the time fly by writing
I don't know how to end this poem
except say a few more words
one hour closer to lunch

I miss you always
Loving everyday
Outside alone or by my side
Very quiet to being talkative
Everyday I came home You greeted me
You loved the belly rubs
One and only, my baby
Undeniably my greatest, best friend

The saying
You never know what you have till its gone
Isnt just true in dating relationships
But in friendships
And those you work with
One of my coworkers
Passed and I didn't realize
How much I would miss him
He had his ups and downs
Like everyone else
But its rough
And its going to be different
Without him at work
Cheery welcome greeting
And smile he always seems to wear
And his laugh
Making those around him smile
You will be missed
Always remembered
Rest in peace Ken

Help me, I'm hurting
Another day of smiles
Prepared for the best and worst
Planning an unknown future
Your happiness matters most to me

My Other half-
You are the one I am lucky enough to call my best friend
To spend my years with
To fall over my stumbling feet
Into your arms
How much I adore you is beyond words
I would walk through hell over and over again just to get to you
Your hugs make me feel safe and at home
Our moments of being completely
Silly and random
With laughter to go around
Day after day
To be kids together
Work out
And many adventures
My vows to you
Will over time be met and went beyond and added to what I vow to you.
My one and only
-Me

Made my thoughts known
Out loud over text
Very nervous
Even though I knew your answer
**** as you are
Time is what you need
And I let you have it
You know where to find me

Like a giant cotton ball
Moving at its own pace
In the giant blue ocean above our heads
Of many shapes and many sizes
Thick to thin
Streched and clumped
One color
To some
Making it like cotton candy
depending on the morning or night
An hombre of colors
Making them pop
As if in a pop up book
Light and white
Or darker and grey
Being filled with rain
Ready to cry on the earth
To water the lands below
Most times you are there
And sometimes you are not
But when you are up there
Floating around
Making shapes
I could sit or lay down
And look up all day

To whom ever finds this bottle
My message is to you
I want to say now
I'm sorry If It sounds like I'm venting
But really I just want to tell someone
What's on my mind
And a little about me
But not know who I am telling
For some reason
That is comforting

I myself am not the brightest bulb
And I may make you want to
Hit your head against a wall
Sometimes many in a day
Because I spoke faster than my mind
Was thinking
My mind is weird
For if you ask something of me
I know I can do it
But yet my mind has a panic mode
And in a way forgets how to do it
Or the item you wanted me to grab
I question it for some reason
Even though I shouldn't have

So yea I am not all that smart
Sometimes I feel really ******
And just worse than dirt
And it's hard because I know
I am
Smarter
And better than that

I do have my moments though
Where I don't always think, rather act first
But it manages to put a smile on your
Face and make you giggle
That usually helps to make me feel better
But thinking back I feel dumb
But remember that I made you smile
And so I smile

I try my best to do better
For I love learning new things
And doing anything
That sounds different
Or fun
And an adrenaline rush
I will say yes to
Because that is such an amazing thrill

I may not always make sense
And sometimes I struggle
Putting together my thoughts into sentences
I get there eventually
But I get there

So if you're okay knowing
this little Bit about me
I hope this message
in this bottle
In your hands
Finds me
But if you do not wish
To want to know me
Then toss me back
Message in bottle
for someone new to find

What a good percent of people
see as negative
and a small percent as positive
but if I could change your mind
with one phrase
I will
Failure is the foundation to success
let me say that again
but slower
Failure
is the foundation
to success

let me explain
if you choose to try something
anything
you have never done before
you are bound to make mistakes and fail
now if you are determined
and not ready to give up
you will keep going till you succeed

so in order to succeed
you need to fail
failure is how we learn
success is not

Now don't get me wrong
I love to succeed
on my first try
but where is the fun in that
when you don't learn
unless you have failed
to where you have now somewhat perfected
what you were working so *******
then all is well

let me throw another example your way
babies learning to walk
prime example of not giving up
why?
because even though you may not have realized
you failed so many times
because you were so determined to succeed
to stay on your own two feet and walk
you realized that when you dragged your foot
and fell that, that was not going to work
so you try and move faster
even though you can't do so slowly
and you fall
again
so unconsciously put the two together
so you can then stay up and move forward

so if you are ever stuck
try combining things that worked
even though you failed
till you can come up with a way
to succeed
because eventually
you will nail it
and you will succeed
if you just push yourself
and tell yourself that
I can do this
never saying
I can't do this
because a negative mindset
will not get you anywhere
stay positive
and realize that
Falling Again Is Learning

My daughter
I am so proud of you
Never forget that

Did you know that everyone
Is in a time loop?
For everyday has 24hrs
Before repeating
Every week after seven days
Will repeat
After twelve months
And up to four seasons
Will eventually repeat
Back to the beginning of the loop

Each day
We wake up
And do our things for the day
And at the end of the day
We all fall asleep
To repeat the loop
The next day
But different tasks

Even the planet's
Will eventually rotate
Till they are back to where they started

The sun
Rising and setting
Each and every day

The clock
With their hands always moving
Eventually both restart at twleve

As all leaves have fallen to bare empty trees
Temperatures begin to drop
Colder and colder each day
From not being able to see your breath to seeing
And all the long sleeves and pants come out
With hats and mittens and boots and all other snow gear
Its time for the delicate and soft things to fall

For how could this be so soft yet hard at the same time?
Soft when first falling from the white clouds above
To being packed into spherical shapes to become hard
That is white all year round from cloud to ground
Yet when gone number one in or stepped on many times
Turns a different color

On those nights with the lights outside seeing them flakes fall
And looking so peaceful it just seems so relaxing to sit and look at
And watch gracefully fall for hours at a time

Thinking how pure it is to have something glide to earth
Making the round land we are on so beautiful you look in awe

To be outside no longer warm
To dress cozy to enjoy the weather and play in the fluffiness
Or stickiness and build with it
Just too much fun sometimes
After to come inside and heat up with some hot chocolate
Or maybe some tea and warm fuzzy blankets

The outdoors becomes cold and sometimes like ice
We choose to stay in and play some games and have some family time
Read a book
Or even a movie with some snacks to enjoy

Before bed as it continues to fall and watching it
As you begin to fall asleep makes the night relaxing
And followed by peaceful dreams

When grown and with the significant other or married spouse
For some to be outside and kiss under the elegant shapes
Is magical and sometimes cooler than kissing in the rain

To be able to build igloos and snowman
Making snow angles and snowballs
To tunnels and riding down hills
Snowshoe and go cross country on skis
To finding a sled or tube to ride down hills
Gaining speed and once in a while crashing
Or falling off with laughter to top it off
To catching them on your tongue
Sometimes even in the eyes but that’s alright
Because it is just water after all just a different form

With water freezing and some roads turning to ice
And lakes, rivers and other bodies of water freezing over
To skate on, play games on, fish on

It’s a wonderful season
Another time to get together with
Family from both sides
Enjoy homemade foods
Cookies that get made once a year
To ending the year and beginning the year
With the snowflakes that glide and shimmer

For some who don’t like to be around it as much
Or even as long
Vacation time is around the corner
To leave the white beauty to travel to warmer weather
For a week or maybe some months
But to come back with it still here
But not always

When it begins to fade and the inches become centimeters
To seeing the grass again
It is time to say goodbye
Goodbye till the end of the year
Goodbye winter gear
Goodbye but not for good all them long sleeve and comfy clothes
To the hot chocolate we all love
But secretly still have throughout the year

Saying Hello to warmer weather
Temperatures rising
Slowly
Rain coming
Storms coming for May to bring flowers
Once again

Goodbye winter for not many will miss you
But there of us who will and
Be waiting till you come again

You are many things
Many ways to describe you
Even though you can make us cold
And yet enjoy your presence
See you again

Make your move
Own all you do
Understanding is helpful
Never back down
Take your chances
Aim your arrow
Inhale and release
No hesitation
Seeing it through to the end

My daughter
You are Beautiful
Always
          -God

My Child
You're in a boat
And I am your oar
You'll make it farther in life
When you involve me in every aspect
If you choose not
You'll drift wherever the waters take you
Soon to be lost
Without even knowing

Impossible
what is impossible?
Learning to walk after an injury
passing a test in a class you're struggling in
Or learning to love yourself when others do not
achieving your goal when even you think you can't
or raise your children alone because they left you or passed away too soon
Score a goal or hit a home run you try so hard but cut yourself short
is all that and more impossible?
No!
How do I know?
Because you are stopping yourself and making it impossible
you are the one who needs to take those steps
to move forward
To Push yourself and tell yourself that you can do it
no one else can do it for you
they may help you get started
but that's it
after that you need to drink the water
you need to believe

if it is truly impossible
then ask the one who laughs at the Impossible
because to Him nothing is impossible and everything is possible with Him
and with faith
For He heals the sick
The broken hearted
The diseases that to us are incurable
The broken bones
The moving of mountains
The calming of the storms
The addictions we ourselves can't overcome

So I ask you again
what is impossible?
or should I say why are you limiting yourself
and saying you can't
when really you can
whether it is by yourself
or with God's help

When I was younger
I would think
when I grow and hit my teen years
I could start wearing make up
I would get excited
anytime someone did my make up
As I grew older I no longer
longed to want to wear make up
for my mother told me
you look beautiful
without all that make up on
you look beautiful
Just the way you are

As I grew older
even through high school
I never wore make up
Unless it was for a dance
that my friends would then do my make up for me
For if I did my own make up
Which I was capable of putting it on
but making it look good
was the real question
No I probably couldn't
maybe with a ton of practice
but I didn't want to put the time in
to learning something new
that I didn't real care for
because I was
I am
Confident
going to school
college
out in public
On a date
oh and yes even at home
everyday
of my life
without a drop on

You see though
the thing is
I didn't get many compliments
of
you're beautiful
minus my mom
or you look gorgeous
or did I ever tell you
you look amazing without
that mask on
no
I never did except a couple times
now I am not fishing for compliments
Please tell me when you mean it and
not to make me feel better
but when I do get a compliment
I never really know what to say
I sometimes feel like I need to give
a compliment right back
but really at times I will say
thank you or stay silent and smile
I have had people tell me
you should wear make up
you will look beautiful
and then I would love to say
so I look ugly without this make up on?
I don't need to be told
But sometimes just hearing
Those compliments
Makes my day
Any girl you think doesn't get complimented much
Find something real and meaningful to say and
Compliment her
For it could really make her day
And put a smile on her face
But don't ever compliment her
And never mean it

When your words speak yes
but
your actions show me no

Boyfriends come and
Boyfriends go
Lessons are learned
Many tears are shed
Will you be the one to stay till death with me?
Will you be the one to build my heart together and keep it in one piece?