You only lose
When you don't get back up
And continue to cruise

When you ask me what I am doing
If am bored
Or doing nothing
My response to you will be
Breathing

Relax, my child
Everything is going to be okay
For I have everything under control

The soothing sound of the rain
Going drip
Drop
Drip
Drop
To cleanse the streets
Making puddles anew
To kids splashing
Adults kissing
The smell so beautiful
Candles cannot compare
With lightening strikes
And thunder booming like the bass drum with a constant beat
That a song begins to play
Hours go by
The moon begins to rise
The pooring rain
And booming thunder
Helps me to drift off into my dreams

True beauty lies within
True beauty doesn't involve a mask
no matter how small or big
True beauty isn't fake but authentic
True beauty is loving who you are
just as you are
True beauty loves her flaws and mistakes
and isn't afraid to show others her scars
because her scars have a story
and those stories show us how strong we have gotten
how strong we have become
True beauty isn't a specific size or shape it all sizes and all shapes
True beauty isn't defined by color because one color isn't one Beauty all colors are all Beauty and most of all unique
True beauty is pure at its original core

She is just like me
I had wanted her but I rarely pay attention to her
She sits and looks for someone to pay attention to her
Yet she will get some and then nothing
Ignored
Feeling replaced
Rejected
Unloved
Probably thinking I’d be better of alone and out of everyone’s way
Just pay attention to me
Just invite me in
Don’t leave me outside in the cold
Talk to me
Don’t just glance at me every now and then
And saying hey or something relating to the conversation
Minutes pass and I’m still as quiet as a mouse
My mind starts to wander
My heart starts to sink
My eyes just want to make a river
Take me in
Love me
As a friend
A sister
Walk with me
Talk with me
Play with me
Make me smile
Laugh
Just stop
Making me cry
And feeling left out and
Alone and
Unloved
I am like her and she is like me
We are the same in many ways
But in all its changed me and maybe her

My child
Do you trust me?
Then take my hand

My life is like a keyboard explained to you in
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
You see life isn't always perfect
Or easy going but can be rough & will be
For when it does
I try and Esc those who are poison to my life
where I just need to Tab and skip ahead a week
or maybe a month
that doesn't always work so I try and find an Alt way
if all fails
push through to the End
Shift to the new chapter 
and delete them from your life
phone 
social media and all
You see, Sometimes, subtracting people is perfect
But adding new people to your life
Can be even better and much more so rewarding
I like to enter into a long dream 
so I can wake up and start over
some days feel like I am on caps lock and everything is drastic 
or way too exciting I just need to scroll down a bit to save some energy for the rest of the day
Some days I need not be alone
but to insert myself into healthy groups
full of positive vibes and energy
if I stay with healthy relationships
my f8 should be well off
but don't quote me on that
if I ever get to crazy
feel free to tell me to backspace 
and just chill
I don't want my life to be just okay & full of JK's 
but rather full of spontaneous adventures
while trying not to be a jailbird one day
I know we belong together
for that is why W and E are next to each other
like U and I
but don't #perfect us or we are like many others
so if you could let me clear my mind
and focus that would be great
for I am @ a point
where I shouldn't be worried about $$
and the % I make
to help do things for you and I
because it isn't about 
money but taking
one letter one word at a time
Spelling out my future is up to me and me alone
Yes, it can be influenced by those around me
Or maybe I haven't let myself learn to say No
To you making decisions for me
Maybe it is about time I say goodnight
Take a rest
At home where I feel safe
Like putting pause on life to
Meditate and think about what is next
Before hitting play once again
I am not locked in a box without a key
For I am the key to  my life and
My day can be bright without you
For you have dimmed me to where
I don't even know myself
And my true self is hidden to just
To fit your mold of a friend
Or a significant other
Sometimes I need to rewind
My day in my head to reflect
On what I can do better for the next time
But for now it is time for me to say goodnight
And bid you farewell
For you were a virus to me
That I couldn't seem to get rid of
You are no longer the mouse that controls
What I do
For I connect better with those
Who are the opposite of you
And those who let me be me
And not try and control
What I do
Who I am with
Or my hobbies
I so much enjoy doing
So maybe if you still want to be my friend
Find a  copy
Oh wait
You can't for I am one of a kind
And you need to leave
So I am going full screen
Because I am me
In my own world
I know I am not the center of attention
But I have my own times to shine bright
And its not every time or everyday
But that is alright with me
Sleep tight now
For I need to recharge my batteries

You are poison

Yet your lips on mine
That taste so sweet
Your Hands running up and down my back
Slow enough to make me draw you closer

When instead
I should be pushing you away
Because you're killing me
Slowly

As your kiss
Is paralyzing me
And your hands
So gentle
Yet fast enough
To bruise me
That I hurt

For I don't know how to decide
On who I love more
You
Or myself

My brokenness
Pieces of me
Being put back together
By you, God
Piece by piece you put me together
Showing me the way of where to go
My pieces
The map
I cannot see it so
I rely on you to show me the way
Once I find my way
With your help
My pieces are slowly getting glued back together
One by one and
Once I hit the end of my adventure
My pieces are glued forever
As if I was never broken
For in you I am found perfect
With you I am found perfect
Because that is how you see me
Perfect and unbroken

Did you know our lives resemble Chess?
that in  all decisions
right from the start
you need to think ahead
about the choices being made
about who it is going to affect
because it ain't just you
choosing to sacrifice what you want to do
to help others...
or not
willing to change plans at the last minute
because of a
cancellation
a death
not everything goes our way
sometimes we need to make
small moves
simple
sometimes we need to switch it up a bit
ride the horse
take a breather
I mean time isn't really on our side
you see each second that passes by
is then one minute
one move
one choice
closer to death
sometimes
when you think you have won
you find yourself stalling
going back and forth going anyway you can
till you just have to face your moves
head on
and let go
to bad we only have
one chance to live
so make all your moves count
for you never know when your
last
breath
will
be

You call me your princess
Your daughter
                                                                                           I call you my king
                                                                                                         my Father
you call me to obey
to listen to your voice
                                                                                        I do my best to obey
                                                                             listening for you still voice
you call me to love
to treat others as I wish to be treated
                                                   I love those who love me and despise me
                                                                   I treat others as if they were you
you call me to work your field
and to reap what I sow
                                                                                                 I do your work
                                                                         for your rewards mean most
Daughter
              Daddy
I love you
              I love you too
My princess

To live is to be

Without fear
For it has but one cure

To be everyday happy
May include being whacky

To travel without a care
And to look at the beauty with a stare

To live and be free
To your life is the key

A choice i once made
Gave me this feeling
Of discomfort
A feeling that never sat right with me
For some reason this feels
Like a stay or go
Stay with me or be free from me
I hurt
But i know you ache with pain
That should not be there in the first place
Im sorry
And if forgiveness is not an option
Then to be free it must be
For to move forward
We need forgiveness and to move on
To leave it in the past
I promise to you
That I want only you till I die
My mistakes
Are stupid
And i know who i have and how much
You mean to me
So to lose you
Would be too much
That my mistake
Would be the breaking of your heart
And mine

One of the most
Painful and
Heartbreaking
Things to hear
But most relieving

Eyes like the galaxies
You cannot help but lose your thought
A smile that warms your heart
To the core
That you get so nervous
You still cannot remember
What you wanted to say
You look over their shoulder
For your thought process to begin again
You clear your throat
Look down
Deep breath
Just relax and
Let’s try this again

This not so dark cave
I go to train
To practice and learn
To obey and help
To practice my skills
that I have harnessed
From kicks to punches
I release my energy
Sometimes
I come angry
other days I came happy
When I leave
I am always filled with peace
so relaxed as I should be

Meeting my gaze
And staring with wonder
Details coming together
Every second
Like a puzzle forming
Every min of our future
In your stumbling of words
No on understood
Except for me

You knew I would be yours
the moment you laid eyes on me
                                        Looking at you I wanted something more
                                        but I clearly didn't see
You asked me out one night in my car
hoping to hear a yes
                                        my thoughts lingered far
                                        till a day or two later you got a yes
we set a date to go to the mall
playing mini golf and eating at Bubba Gump Shrimp
                                       I had put up a small wall
                                      dressing in jeans and a sweatshirt feeling a bit
                                      wimpy                
You seemed as if you wanted to hold my hand
but couldn't get to it
                                   I admit I was nervous but wouldn't let you land
                                   even though I would have been lit
We left and I dropped you off at home
Hoping to be another day
                                        I felt a bit alone
                                        but I know I had more to say
I managed to be like glue and stick
you wanted to see me more but not over tea
                                       One day, for two months I got sick
                                       that wasn't my plan you see
you came and stayed
holding me in your arms
                                      I felt so weak all I could do was pray
                                      You had me under your spell of charms
Months later here we are
stuck tighter than glue and more like tar
                                     I'm glad you asked me
                                    giving you a change was the best thing
                                    I almost didn't see

Why do we run
When a hard challenge comes to face?

Why do give up
After we failed the first 5 times?

Why do we quit
If we dont understand or get it right away

Why do we choose to quit living
Because others are jerks and don't know you or your potential and what you can do?

Why?

Why can't we
Face our challenges without fear but courage

Why can't we persevere
And believe that we can accomplish it even if it takes 50 tries or days

Why can't we keep going
Take the time to practice and understand what we don't even if it means looking from or learning from another angle

Why don't we stand up even if it means getting a beat down or made fun of. Even if they do you are brave and strong and have courage to stand up for yourself and that they can't tear you down anymore

Why?

Why do we do what we want to do and yet fail to continue because of a wall or rock that stops us or makes us fall?

Why do we think that we have failed after we think we can no longer accomplish our task?

We fail when we choose to no longer try and believe we cannot when one day we can when the effort is put forth

Why don't we stop asking ourselves the what if's and start asking the why not's?

For why not prove others that you can
But not just others but yourself
For completing your task shows
You ain't no quitter
But a persevering human
Who can do things when you try and get back up at all cost
To show yourself that you are stronger than you think
Even if asking help was all you needed.
Some tasks are not meant to be done alone but with help.

A smell so divine
My heart skips a beat
With a smile as big
As the east is from the west
With a beat so unique
Each and everytime

The sight so beautiful
I could dance outdoors
With a strobe light in the sky
And booming drums to follow
Echoing in my chest

Trust me they said
In thinking that I could
Met with hurt instead
Eventually, will time heal my wounds?

Sometimes the only way to know yourself truly
Is to find yourself completely broken

The worlds mirrors

Are the lakes below

Reflecting all that is above

It was here after the universe was created
After the creatures who walked the earth
After the water creatures swam
After everything was created
After Eve ate of the fruit of the tree

It entered the world
It made the world a place full of choices
Full of rights and wrongs
Full of rejections and acceptance
So full of choices that we can choose
Which choice to make

It was here before the first child was born
Before that innocent child
Could walk
Talk
Breathe
Or know much about what is going on

It was here before you and I were ever born
Before our parents gave birth to us
Before we made our first friend
Before all of this around us came to be

It has been here ever since the serpent in the garden
Tempted Eve and Adam stood silent
When Adam could have spoken up
But didn’t

But now that it is here we have choices
We have free will
We have the choice to choose right from wrong
Because of our sin we have nailed our Savior to the cross
To save us
To take three nails for us
To take a death that should have been our death
But no
Jesus took that death
Took our death upon himself
Even though he himself was perfect
Who committed no sin
Did nothing wrong
Was Perfect

Ever since He died on that cross for us
We now have eternal life with our Father
When one day we are able to come home
With no more pain
No more suffering
No more tears that are to be shed
But tears of Joy
We are Home and able to come home
Once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior
When we admit that we can’t do anything on our own
That through and only through Jesus
We are saved
And can come home

But this that caused God to send His one and only Son
To die on the cross for us is because of
Sin
Sin caused that and is what brought all this upon us
Why we have free will
And choices to make
It’s all because of sin that entered the world
Through just one eating
Of one fruit
From one tree
Sin

Sin
When the
Serpent with those sly words
Interjected himself into the world to cause trouble and deceive
Never giving up till the end of the days when he is thrown back into the eternal fire

Then when the days here are done
Sin will be no more
the eternal fire full of pain and anguish
But Heaven the place free from all sin and deceit
Sin will never be near again

Women
A flower
So beautiful
That throughout time
She slowly begins to bloom
Slowly opening up to the world around her
And with the slow revealing
Seeing more and more of her beauty
Beacuse the outside
Doesn't matter
As much as the inside does
For we not only help ourselves
But the bees
Our friends
For our pollen we have
But for some
We are cut and trimmed
To be given
To someone special
To make a day
Or to remember
But like all else
Slowly withers
A life
Well lived
But never forgotten
By loved ones

Friends?
I don't have any
Enemies?
Everyone
Why?
Nobody is perfect
Someone is going to hurt you
Lies
Gossip
Cheat
Or just leave you for good
Don't trust anyone
Not even yourself

I understand now

Looking at you
Only able to see you
Venturing for more
Even though I've given so much

You clearly don't want me But,
Only as a friend
Until I hope that one day you see

Close your eyes and Imagine this

Morning dawns and ready to wake
Darkness
It’s all you see
You think you’re dreaming
You’re not
somehow your colorful world
turned black
with a blink of an eye
you call for anyone
no one responds
remembering all are at work
you try and remember
your room
your reflection
everything


Having to rely on your senses
Feeling
Hearing
Taste
Smell
All growing stronger
As sight was taken
Everything you knew how to do
Drive
Read
Cook
Etc.
You can no longer do or have to relearn a new way or
Not be able to do it again

Your heart pounding
your mind and body in panic mode
you struggle trying to find your phone
to call for help
takes minutes on minutes
everyone thinks it’s a joke
for it is April 1st
to stumble from one room to another
slowly remembering where,
what everything looks like
breaking down to cry
for it is all you can do

Making your way to the kitchen for some food
The easiest is cereal
For fewest things are required
The day passes and
All you can do is sit and think
On anything and everything

It’s close to bedtime
You know
For your eyes are getting heavy
You close your eyeys
When the whole day it already felt
As if you never opened them

Morning comes and afraid to open
But do so admitting you’re now blind
And will begin to adjust
You open

Color?
your room?
Your reflection?

What if for one day you were blind?